ST 2005.05.21

Crack down on child sex tourists
By Claudine Lim, Melissa Kwee, and Saleemah Ismail
For The Straits Times

THE recent frank discussion in the press and Parliament on the issue of Singaporeans sexually exploiting children and trafficked women is a welcome development. In particular, the Home Affairs Ministry statement that it is seriously considering appropriate legislation is a significant step.

Focusing on the demand component in such sexual abuse is progress.

This region has largely viewed the issue in its supply side context - the result of poverty, structural inequality, absence of effective legislation and weak or corrupt law enforcement.

While these are without doubt key factors, there has been globally a relative silence on how more affluent citizens exploit the gaps at home and abroad to buy the sexual services of women and children who are often forced to work under exploitative, degrading conditions.

Effective legislation is undoubtedly important, but as Senior Minister of State for Law and Home Affairs, Associate Professor Ho Peng Kee, pointed out in Parliament on Monday the problem is not solely the Government's responsibility. There are three main challenges which require broader social cooperation.

First, there is the network that facilitates access to under-aged prostitutes and trafficking victims. This embraces Internet chat rooms and websites in the virtual world and, on the ground, tour operators, taxi drivers, pimps, hotel staff and others who often benefit from the fees-for-service. Tackling this requires a counter network of caring citizens who will report such transactions or victims in need.

Second, the networks are not merely local but also transnational. Effective action requires the cooperation of civil society, businesses and law enforcement both within and between their sectors, and across national boundaries.

Third, it is not easy but important that we acknowledge our culture of silence on sexual offences and related issues. Our laws identify and severely punish sexual offenders. However, society also punishes the victims by stigmatising them and their families when they seek help. In the absence of a compassionate response, victims of sexual abuse and their families, as well as offenders' families, often see silence as their only option. The Government cannot solve this, but as friends and community members, we can.

The customers
ULTIMATELY, the source of demand must be addressed. Who are these customers?

Singaporean sex tourists who travel to nearby low-cost locations to procure sex services from minors and trafficked girls are mostly 'preferential' or 'situational' abusers, not paedophiles per se.

Preferential abusers seek out ever younger girls or boys for a variety of reasons: a sense of power, a fallacious belief that they are 'cleaner' and therefore lower the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Some labour under an even more misguided notion that 'virginal' girls have curative or restorative effects on men.

Situational offenders are those who do not specifically seek out young girls but are presented with the opportunity, and choose to accept. They may be motivated by similar reasons to the preferential abuser. Or perhaps they choose to ignore the fact that the girl is under-aged, or rationalise their actions as being in the girl's best interest (for example, by providing her with an income or by using her service, help her avoid punishment by her pimp or abuse by a client who is less kind).

Establishing that the sexual exploitation of children while overseas is a criminal act and making it clear that society is not willing to turn a blind eye will deter potential preferential and situational offenders, if not hardcore paedophiles. Public education, backed up by force of law, will make for a more vigilant community that does not condone such behaviour.

Enforcement is no doubt challenging and complex. Challenges include obtaining reliable evidence and witnesses, protecting victims and managing the complexities of transnational cooperation.

Nonetheless, there is an upward trend in the number of successful prosecutions in countries that have child sex tourism laws in place, as more experience is gained and techniques become more sophisticated.

In the business sector, willingness to act has been muted, but some airlines and hotel groups have a clear policy of taking a stand against child sex tourism by educating their customers.

Some even have a reporting mechanism in place to assist law enforcement. Over time, it is hoped that this group of enlightened tourism players will grow.

A Code of Conduct (www.thecode.org) promulgated by the non-governmental organisation End Child Prostitution, Pornography and Trafficking, the World Tourism Organisation and the United Nations Children's Fund has been endorsed by many governments, most recently the United States and Japan.

Tourism companies that adopt the code commit themselves to establishing an ethical policy against commercial sexual exploitation of children, providing relevant staff training, requiring suppliers to take a common stand on the issue and educating customers.

Last but not least, public education is crucial. We can punish and shame offenders, but it is how the rest of us raise our children, teach values of respect and self-worth, and act towards our fellow humans that will make the long-term difference. Child sex tourism and sexual abuse and exploitation of vulnerable women and children should not be seen only as a crime but also a deep festering moral wound.

The writers belong to the national committee of Unifem Singapore, the Singapore chapter of the UN Development Fund for Women. www.unifemsingapore.org.sg

Untitled by Simple Plan

dear's fav song at tis moment....i like tis song 2.....

Untitled
by Simple Plan

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

bored stiff....

in class now.....really bored stiff!!!! thk gdness e projector cldn't work in e other room so we came down 2 e computer lab 4 e class, so here i m blogging away while e trainer is speaking away....he's basically teaching stuff tt i oredi know & he doesn't give any more indepth stuff....i tot e class was supposed 2 teach us how 2 train pple 2 help us conduct field surveys, not teach stats!!!! if i 1ed stats i wld 've gone 4 my spss class....not waste a couple o hundreds sitting here blogging.....argh.....hopefully he'll teach factor analysis & relaibility analysis ltr on.....pls pls pls....ok gg 2 help him compare e hp prices....he spent >200Rm on hp bills last mth.... ;p sorry dear.....

humor....

wah she know how 2 appreciate humor 2!!!

here's her fwd email....not bad!!!

When times are bad....................Hang Cheng Pai.....................A NUS graduate found himself difficult to get a job here. He finally accepted the offer to work with Mandai Zoo."What to do? It's better to work like this than earning nothing...", mumbling to himself.So since that day, the IT grad started work acting as a monkey. He has to wear monkey suit and mask, chew nuts and eat bananas. He has to climb trees too and jump from one to another to attract visitors. The zoo has since then enjoyed tremendous business due to the increase in visitors. Even SM Lee wanted to see the super 'smart' monkey in the world. Unfortunately, one day when he was jumping from the trees. He fell down into a crocodile pool! "Oh my God....I'm dying... now" he thought, as a hungry looking crocodile swam steadily towards his direction. In the middle of his struggle, suddenly he heard a soft voice, "Don't be afraid my friend... I'm from NTU".


i dunno y but when i read e last part, reminded me o da shi xiong!!! hahahhaa....i can imagine him wearing e suit hahhaha....den still have e bear....hahhahah

a 1000 miles...

swing do u remember tis song??? everytime i hear tis song i always remember e time we studied in nus, at e bench near e E lang department...remember??? e v secluded place??? den we play open open win???? i tink cos tt time e song was v popular so everytime also play....i remember e raintree....e cool breeze....e dabao chicken rice...my mini-radioclock....e early mornings where we smetimes 've 2 go chop our place....so huai nian......

"A Thousand Miles" by Vannessa Carlton

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass

And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know
I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories

'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know
I'd walkA thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight

T4MG....

trials & tribulations o e TTMG....

in progress.....

current page count: 55....

days 2 publishing: TBA.....

STAY TUNED.....DUN MISS E OFFICIAL LAUNCH O TIS EXCLUSIVE BOOK BY E TTMG....

我又哭了。。。读到了TCC 在 11 月16日写的 blog。。。我想把我们的 blog entries 变成一本书。。。因为我觉得从四个不同的角度看事应该很有趣。。。我想把它收藏起来。。。我弄好了让大家过目！！！

opps...

我说谎了。。。都是你啦。。。;p

desaru warriors

妈咪...

我挺喜欢煮东西的，不喜欢吃不过就是喜欢煮。。。虽然煮得并不是很好就是喜欢 experiment。。。这里加一点，那里加一点。。。应该是受妈妈的影响。。。

小时候妈妈有时没空，她会让我帮忙煮，虽然是很简单的菜，有时还会炒的过火，很难吃，可她都会说可以，然后会提点下次应该怎么做。。。就是她那很包容的心让我在成长的过程有了更多的机会尝试。。。可能也因为她的放松让我有时会把她给忽略了。。。不征求她的同意，只一谓的做自己想做的事。。。觉得自己很自私从来都不会想她会不会担心。。。知道她会就不告诉她直到完成后才让她懂。。。

这个母亲节我们会在这星期天才庆祝。。。不知道要不要去划龙舟后才去。。。不知道要不要让他去。。。不知道要不要买东西送她。。。不知道要买什么。。。

妈咪，母亲节快乐。。。希望你会天天快乐。。。不要为我们操心，我们都长大了，是时候让我们照顾你了。。。你和爸爸可以牵着手一起到你们向往的地方去渡假。。。让我存多点钱下次让你们去更好的地方。。。

打包...

今天又是在 office 里吃午餐。。。每次都 dabao。。。这几天想 detox 因为一直吃，没停得吃。。。不知道是不是大姨妈要来了才这样。。。又没运动，肚腩是越来越大，怎样都减不掉。。。我知道我并不胖不过就是想让自己更匀称一点。。。有哪个女人不想呢？？？

有时不吃晚餐不是为了减肥，而是因为吃了后要运动会不舒服。。。也因为不知道要吃什么。。。我还真够懒的。。。连吃什么都懒得想。。。其实有时候我真得想不用吃东西那该多好。。。

我真得是懒到没话说。。。饿了，同事怎么还没回来？？？

cantillana moss green starfish

starfish....

it was a pleasant & sweet surprise....i didn't expect it....i tot it was e cookies he mentioned...e cookies were a sweet gesture 2....i'll upload e pic once i get his camera...ok i found e pic on e web...

ok it's not tt obvious now...thk gdness...2 days & no1 notice!!! heng.....

ST 2005.05.06

Time to throw the book at child sex tour organisers

By Andy Ho
Senior Writer

RECENTLY, Temasek Polytechnic teacher Darwis Rianto Lim was arrested in Bangkok for allegedly trying to procure young boys for sex.

He is not the only Singaporean to have tried that. A recent Johns Hopkins study shows that some Singaporeans visit Batam for sex with girls as young as 14 years.

As domestic law stands at the moment, Singaporeans commit no offence when they have sex with children while overseas.

This is despite the urging of a number of people over the years to change the law. Last year, Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Seng explained in Parliament that, even if there were such an amendment, implementing it to deter local child-sex tourists would be fraught with difficulties.

But not everyone is convinced. The president of the Association of Criminal Lawyers, Mr Subhas Anandan, points out that Singaporeans who take drugs elsewhere have been prosecuted when they returned home.

But the parallel between drug takers and paedophiles is far from perfect, for several reasons.

Mr Lim Hsin Hin, a Singaporean lawyer practising in London, points out that there is a principle of 'active nationality', which is recognised under international law, which makes it permissible for a government to exercise territorial jurisdiction over one of its nationals for crimes committed abroad. This principle is widely accepted in drugs cases, but whether it would be equally accepted in paedophilia cases remains untested.

Then there is the concern over 'double jeopardy'. As Mr Anandan says, while a local who has sex with children overseas should be prosecuted when he returns home, the offender should not be convicted in two countries as it would not be fair to punish a person twice.

This sounds about right - but there is an exception for the worst crimes under the 'dual sovereignty' rule. That is, while a person should not be prosecuted twice for the same offence by the same sovereign, but if his act violates the laws of two sovereigns, it can then be seen as two distinct offences under the 'dual sovereignty' exception.

Thus, re-prosecution on coming home in such cases would not count as double jeopardy and could be permissible.

At any rate, in the real world, prosecutions rarely occur in the countries where child sex acts take place. Thus, local law would likely be prosecuting a Singaporean child sex tourist for the first time - without fear of double jeopardy.

This means that the Singapore Government could amend the law to cover child sex tourists under the active nationality principle, even re-prosecute them under the dual sovereignty exception. Yet it has not done so.

Why? Very practical reasons apply.

While most of the countries where the child sex trade occurs have laws prohibiting it, local law enforcement is lax. Poverty drives families to sell their own children into prostitution. Gathering evidence against a child sex offender under such circumstances would be a nightmare for any prosecutor, from Singapore or anywhere else.

For instance, both Australia and the United States have adopted laws against child sex tourists.

There is the Crimes (Child Sex Tourism) Amendment Act (CST Act) in Australia while the US has its Protect (Prosecutorial Remedies and other Tools to end the Exploitation of Children Today) Act.

However, both laws have seen only limited success. After a decade of enforcement, Australia has only charged 16 people and convicted a mere 11 of them.

Similarly, the US Protect Act itself was a 2003 update of the Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Act of 1994, under which only two US citizens were ever convicted.

If these experiences are anything to go by, a Singaporean amendment may fare no better as local prosecutors will face the same difficulties that hobble Australian and US prosecutors. Mr Lim points out four of them.

First, in gathering evidence abroad, investigators who are unfamiliar with the laws there may infringe upon them, leading to their own arrests or detentions. Moreover, the foreign jurisdiction may perceive its sovereignty to have been challenged, which could spark off a diplomatic spat.

Second, some countries make it difficult for foreign law enforcement officers to gather evidence on their soil. Until recently, the most common method of obtaining such evidence was a letter rogatory, a request by one court of a foreign counterpart for help in obtaining information. This has to pass through a long diplomatic chain, which may take a year or longer.

A newer alternative is the Mutual Legal Assistance in Criminal Matters treaty (MLAT). Last November, all Asean nations including Singapore - but not Thailand and Myanmar - signed a multilateral MLAT.

(Child sex tourism thrives in Thailand, the Philippines and Indonesia and is beginning to flourish in Cambodia and Vietnam.)

Even so, that treaty will come into effect only after it has been ratified by the respective governments. Still, MLATs are generally only available to prosecutors, while defence counsel must usually resort to letters rogatory to obtain evidence.

Third, whether resorting to letters rogatory or MLATs, while abroad, foreign law will still govern the standards of evidence gathering there. For example, a witness will testify according to his country's standards for criminal proceedings.

So a Singaporean consular officer might, in theory, be allowed by the host country to administer oaths to witnesses before recording their testimonies abroad. But while Thailand permits such voluntary depositions for some consulates, its witnesses are allowed - according to Thai practice - to refuse to take the oath.

Under such circumstances, Singaporean procedural safeguards when obtaining witness testimony may not be observed such that strict Singaporean statutory requirements may not be met.

Last, there are difficulties in locating witnesses, language barriers and the need for interpreters in the field and during the trial process itself. Dealing with child witnesses is also particularly difficult, especially those who have been abused sexually.

It all looks insuperable.

So shall we forget about adopting any child sex tourism law at all?

Not necessarily.

Adopting a law - like 32 nations other have done - will send a signal to Singaporeans who are planning child sex jaunts abroad that they will be prosecuted when they come home.

One option is for a law to focus on the organisers of child sex tours, in addition to the offenders themselves.

True, not much is known about local operators yet. In 1995, an Australian parliamentary investigation found no evidence to suggest that organised commercial ventures were involved there. Child sex tour 'operators' were thought to be paedophiles networking informally with others of their ilk to assist one another going overseas for child sex.

Today, however, as the Johns Hopkins University study has found, there are more than 100 websites promoting child sex tourism in Asia alone. Travel agents and website owners, it says, advertise child sex tours to hot spots in the Philippines, Thailand and Vietnam.

The study has also found that Singaporeans formed the largest group of sex tourists in the Riau islands, including Batam, where spending a night with a girl reportedly costs $40. Virgins, including the underaged, cost $500 each. In Batam, 3 per cent of its 6,600 prostitutes are underaged.

To match that supply with demand, it is not unlikely that tour organisers are already operating alone or in syndicates here. Ferreting them out is work cut out for law enforcement officials.

It makes sense to target profit-motivated operators as punitive fines and jail time could change their behaviour. Also, convicting one sex tourist removes but one perpetrator, while taking a tour organiser out of action hinders several child sex tourists at one go.


ST 2005.05.06

Time to put our foot down on the sex trade

By Braema Mathi

IT WAS a desperate call to a helpline from a man who wanted to free two young Thai sex workers from a Geylang brothel.

Their ordeal was horrible: They had a quota of 10 men per night; they were banned from going out; and they had to clear a debt of 10,000 baht (S$420) within two weeks before their social visit passes expired.

His account clearly showed the girls were forced into a situation and needed help. But they were afraid to seek it.

It would have meant filing charges against the brothel owner, and the Singapore and Thai agents. And they themselves risked jail terms for having worked illegally - in the sex trade to boot - while on a social visit pass.

These women never took up the offer of help. Their plight, and those of others, will remain unchanged until we review our approach to the trafficking of people.

Victim or criminal?

THE United Nations Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons, Especially Women and Children offers one such solution. Some 120 countries have signed it.

It defines the trafficked persons as victims, who were so vulnerable that they ended up being exploited, whether for the sex trade, or as slaves, or to have their organs removed.

The definition means the consent of the individual becomes irrelevant.

Instead, the trafficker is criminalised under this protocol, which is a supplement to the UN Convention on Transnational Organised Crime. Singapore is a signatory to this document.

Adopting this definition requires putting in place a legislative process to confiscate assets from traffickers to compensate victims.

A system of tracking and investigating violators through greater transnational cooperation will also be needed, as will support schemes to help the victims.

This way, the trafficked person may also be more willing to help in the investigations as she will not be treated as a criminal.

Singapore maintains there is minimal incidence of trafficked persons here. But using this broader definition may give rise to higher numbers.

The Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA) is making changes. It has said there is a need to accord greater protection to minors as they are not yet fully mature, physically or psychologically.

This is a positive sign.

We now need to extend this same approach to the protection of adults, who are also victims of trafficking.

But a bigger challenge is to review the definition of trafficking.

Lucrative global industry

THE global sex industry has been growing since the early 1990s and runs parallel to the entertainment, travel, leisure and gambling industries, often complementing each other.

Its growth is aided by the complicity of some sender countries, which depend on remittances by their women and children, and therefore do not take steps to be vigilant.

Some of those at the helm of the trafficking business are also major financial supporters of political parties and are hardly taken to task for their activities.

This industry will continue to grow because corruption, poverty, and the advent of easy and cheap travel will steer people into the trade, or to be its consumers.

Accurate data is hard to come by, but statistics from the International Organisation for Migration reveal that nearly one-third of the global trafficking trade - or about 200,000 to 250,000 women and children - is from South-east Asia.

It is also a lucrative business. Thai estimates showed the trade is at least three times more profitable than drug trafficking.

Regional action

IT WAS heartening that at the recent Conference on Trafficking held here, Asean secretary-general Ong Keng Yong spoke of instituting an Asean declaration to tackle this problem.

This has been on the cards for more than a year and I hope the process can be speeded up as there is already an Asean Centre for Combating Transnational Crime (ACTC) whose focus
includes looking into issues of trafficking.

Some terms of reference for the Asean Task Force could include brothel licensing criteria, dealing with corrupt officers, and criminalising traffickers and those in the travel businesses.

Strengthen laws here

WE HAVE always been very serious players when it comes to becoming signatories to conventions.

But we are found wanting when we align ourselves with some international treaties and not with others on the same issue.

For money laundering, we amended the Extradition Act to make certain serious crimes extraditable offences.

Yet we seem to fight shy of having the Extradition Act applied to those who travel to solicit sex with minors.

Our domestic laws are a deterrent and do protect our own women and children.

But these laws become meaningless if a Singaporean takes his violent ways to children in the region.

Equipping our laws with an extra-territorial jurisdiction provision means rapists may have to come home to face trial.

MHA's multi-agency committee is reviewing sexual offences currently prescribed in the Penal Code, Women's Charter and Children and Young Persons Act.

It will also be timely to review possibilities for extradition and strengthening laws to protect children and women caught in offshore sex industries.

While the State can play its part, we, too, need to question our values.

Is the Singapore male so irrepressible in his quest to have paid and casual sex that we tolerate the sex industry and have stopped asking our men why they persist in doing so.

Sweden has criminalised men who buy sex, and women who offer sex as prostitutes.

Yes, there will be some men who will move to other countries as travellers to get their quick fix.
But the message that resounds in Sweden for the majority of the population is one of respecting women and themselves.

Where will we stand on this, Singapore?

The writer, a former Nominated MP, is a visiting research fellow at the Institute of South-east Asian Studies (Gender Studies Programme). This is her personal comment.

难以忘记的脚车经验和体会。。。

这次的经验和体会和她们的有一点不同。。。因为我一直垫底。。。没能和你们一起骑。。。我很努力的骑。。。我知道我在途中不能放弃，不过我到resort 时， 我真的想在隔天搭cab 回。。。因为我不想连累大家。。。可是我又不甘心。。。我真的很怕自己撑不下去。。。一直一直骑。。。心里一直想为什么我要如此的折磨自己。。。唯一感到欣慰的是有他一直在我身旁不停的说话。。。不知他会不会渴。。。他不时的说“有车来了进去一点 go left。。。”。。。他还记得我分不清左右。。。不过他有时自己都会把 left right 搞错。。。hahhahhaaa =)

在那好像永无止境的 upslopes 时，我很想放弃。。。不知是在哪个upslope 我停下脚车，想喘口气，没有亭子也没有树。。。我站在那，想坐下可是没有地方可以坐。。。他站在旁边，“靠着我。。。”。。。我靠着他， 等着如和龙。。。“r u ok?”。。。我摇着头。。。他抱着我。。。可以依赖他我很开心。。。

不知道为什么他一直都没放弃我。。。谢谢你。。。

回去的路程虽然有很多 downslopes 可是我的 knees 一开始就有点不对劲。。。在 downslope 我也一直战战兢兢的因为很怕会跌倒。。。一直放不下那心里的恐惧。。。撑到最后的五公里我好想哭。。。膝盖真的好痛好痛。。。我知道如果我停我一定骑不下去，也会哭。。。他问我要不要休息。。。我一直没回答他。。。我知道他有点担心。。。我终于摇了摇头，拼命的骑。。。咬着下唇， 骑呀骑。。。看到 nee, 在那一刻眼泪差点掉下。。。他想拍照可我一心直想马上下车坐下，我叫他去拍，自己先进去。。。一到里面 Alvin 说没有票。。。我没什么感觉，只是很高兴终于骑完了。。。没船也没关系。。。搭 cab loh。。。

后记：他还欠我一只冰棒。。。谢谢大家没有嫌弃我骑得那么慢。。。谢谢 nee 4 organising tis trip。。。我知道如果他不在你们也会照顾我，谢谢。。。谢谢大师兄的熊与鳄鱼笑话。。。谢谢 junwei 的 mini astronomy class。。。谢谢你们那么好笑的尖叫声。。。谢谢那美丽的 nite sky 和 sunrise。。。谢谢大家。。。=)

Click to join hi-raleigh_rockclimbing

i dunno how i feel.....

i dunno how i feel or wat i'm tinking at all.....do u feel disappted in me??? seriously i dunno wat i'm feeling at all cos i dun feel at all.....& i dun even tink.....i dunno i dunno i dunno.....i feel sad tt i feel tis way & i feel sad tt i can only tell u tis much....all i know is tt i dun 1 2 hurt u.....i feel so disappted in myself....i like it when i'm wif u.....tt's all tt i know.....i worry when u didnt return....i'm upset when u dun reply......i 1 2 c u when u r away......i look fwd 2 c-ing u.....i like it when u encouraged me....even though i know i wldn't give up....i like it when u try so hard.....i appreciate it....a lot....really....i feel bad....even though u said u enjoyed urself....i really hope u did....i like it when u try 2 make me feel beta....i know u try....i'm juz hard 2 please....i'm sorry....i say tt a lot in my blog....u said sorry.....i dun tink it's necessary....
i dun tink i 1 2 let u read all these....but i'm glad u let me read ur blog....although it's all past entries...at least i got 2 know a little more abt u....even though it's things u've told me b4....not even 2 mths....we dun even know each other 4 >2mths.....serious.....y did we walk so far????have we walked 2 far????my god......i hate myself......

幸福很简单...

我不是要幸灾乐祸不过每次我听到人家的不幸我都觉得自己好幸福。。。很庆幸自己的幸运。。。很感谢让我一直都那么快乐的每一个人。。。我也希望每一个人都会幸福快乐。。。能应为一个美丽的早晨；一个搞笑的地铁乘客；或应为还能睁开眼睛看到这世界而快乐，我觉得那就足够了吧。。。我希望每个人都能那么想那这世界就会快乐许多。。。我可以做到我相信每个人都能。。。

still remember this pic????

Jerk It Out by The Caesars

Wind me up
Put me down
Start me off and watch me go
I'll be runnin' circles around you sooner than you know
A little off center
And I'm out of tune
Just kickin' this can along the avenue
But I'm alright

Cause it's easy once you know how it's done
You can't stop now
It's already begun
You feel it runnin' through your bones
And you jerk it out
And you jerk it out

Shut up
Hush your mouth
Can't you hear you talk too loud?
No can't hear nothin' 'cause I got my head up in the clouds
I bite off anything that I can chew
I'm chasing cars up and down the avenue
But that's ok

Cause it's easy once you know how it's done
You can't stop now
It's already begun
You feel it runnin' through your bones
And you jerk it out

Cause it's easy once you know how it's done
You can't stop now
It's already begun
You feel it runnin' through your bones
And you jerk it out
And you jerk it out

And you jerk it out
And you jerk it out
And you jerk it out
Oh baby don't you know you
Really gotta jerk it out

When you jerk it out
Oh baby don't you know you
Really gotta jerk it out
When you jerk it out
Oh baby don't you know you
Really gotta jerk it out

Dakota by the Stereophonics.....

e lyrics made me tink o different pple...


Thinking about thinking of you
Some of the time thinking it was due
Yeah thinking it was due.
Laying back, head on the grass
Children grown having some laughs
Yeah having some laughs.

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

Drinking back, drinking for two
Drinking with you
And drinking was new
Sleeping in the back of my car
Never went far
Needed to go far

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

I don’t know where we are going no
I don’t know where we are going no

Wake up for coffee and juice
Remembering you
What happened to you?
I wonder if we’ll meet again
Talk about us instead
Talk about why did it end

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

I don’t know where we are going no
I don’t know where we are going no

So take a look at me now

i dunno....

my mom sort o found out abt my new rs....she asked my sis 2 ask me if my bf was tt young....i didn't reaffirm....i asked my sis, 3T, who said it...den i found out tt 1 o my sis, J, saw us at west coast & told my mom tt he looked v young, younger den 3T....but i dun really buy tt story....i tink S probably told J, & she told mom....but i dun 1 2 pursue e matter...i juz told J 2 tell mom tt everything is still immature & i dun 1 2 talk abt it....

he told me 2 not get angry wif my sis & 2 talk 2 my mom when i told him tt my mom found out abt him...

i dunno if i'm angry actually...i tink i'm not...juz tt i dunno wat 2 say abt e rs...till now i still have no idea how i feel actually....everytime i go v quiet, he'll ask me wat i'm tinking....if i've anything 2 say 2 him....i know i dun tell him a lot abt my feelings....cos i dunno wat 2 say or how i feel or even wat i tink... seriously i dunno...i dun 1 2 tink...but smehow i still nd 2 tink...

y is it never easy....y is it always so confusing....y do i have 2 tink abt these????do u really 've 2 tink abt things????

i like it tt we do spontaneous things....we had no idea wat 2 do ytd....i 1ed 2 eat mos burger so we went 2 PS...after tt we decided 2 catch a movie but nothing was interesting & e shows were late....so he suggested gg 2 s'pore river 2 walk walk....as we walked 2 e mrt, i remembered fort canning park, where we had e wmd, so i suggested walking there...kind o tough walking cos we juz had dinner....e place was quiet & nice...away fr e hustle & bustle...it's a really nice place except 4 e occasional mosquito.....walk walk walk...i've no idea where 2 go....den we saw e g-max....

i told him b4 tt i 1ed 2 try tt....so he said we shld go try....& we did....i did a whole load o screaming....although it wasn't as fun as skydiving....but i had fun....i didn't 1 e vcd cos i was so ugly but we got tt free & he kept it....

he keeps a lot o stuff...every little thing he keeps....he did ask me 2 keep but i told him i dun 1....i know he's v thoughtful & he treasures little little things...it's not tt i dun 1 2 treasure all these but i really dun 've e space 2 keep all these things...& i juz 1 2 keep e memory inside my small little brain...

it's sweet tt he does little acts 4 me...but i tink i never show him tt i appreciate it...serious, i dun tink i'm tt xi xin....i dun like soft toys, i dun like chocolates, i dun like little momentos....i wld rather keep everything in my heart & mind....he asked me abt my fav color etc...but i never bother 2 ask him....even when he mentions it i tink i probably 4got abt it...

my colics said tt they'll remember every little thing tt their partners say...ok so i'll try 2 make tt effort!!! i'm sorry dear....& i always poke fun at him....& i give him tt duh look everytime he say smething lame or stupid....ok i'm not tt great in my role as a gf....sorry.....

You Are 45% Normal (Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

You Will Die at Age 88

88 Congratulations! You take good care of yourself. You're poised to live a long, healthy life.

What Age Will You Die?

You Are 22 Years Old

22 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

so excited....

every1 seem so excited & happy tt i've got sme1 special in my life.....every1 looked so excited!!!!it's as though i struck 4D......his friends were equally excited looking..... i find it a little amusing actually.....dunno if it's cos every1 ard me is so excited tt i dun feel tt much excitement.....we've decided 2 go buy 4D 2gather.....i'm such a bad influence, getting him 2 gamble!!!! hahhaahaa....hope i really strike 4D!!!!cross fingers, cross toes.....

我不知道

我也不知道我自己要什么。。。她说她感觉不到应有的兴奋。。。她问我是否准备好了。。。我真的不知道。。。说完后，我一直觉得头麻痹。。。一直无法清楚的想。。。事情发生得真的快了些。。。他也有同感。。。不过，我们决定想一起走走。。。我很高兴他很迁就我，很想知道我的看法。。。可能我真的没好好说出自己的想法吧。。。可能我自己到 现在都无法真的相信所有发生的事。。。他也无法相信。。。我的脑袋里一直空荡荡的。。。不知道是否是因为太累。。。我让他做主，无须我想。。。他让我觉得开心。。。可我会不知不觉的想到我们之间的不同。。。特别是在朋友群中。。。他很大方。。。我很欣赏这点。。。他会让我把不同忘了。。。让我觉得无须解释。。。我很想让他知道我很开心，不知道他是否感觉得到我和他在一起的快乐。。。快乐就好吧。。。不同只是自己和社会设定的吧。。。真的无须理会别人的看法。。。自己快乐真的才是最重要。。。不必TTM。。。我应该卸下TTMG President 的 position 4 a while....so VP pls take charge o e club while I 闭关修练 4 a while....

fell off my chair....

ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
THEN THEN THEN i tot it should be gone.. i mean fly out

...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
flew bk in?

...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
ahhahaa

ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
THEN THEN 2 days later i found it dead lying outside my store room hahaha

ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
i dunno why dead haha

...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
how u know it's e same?

ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
i wan to ask my family did they kill the cockroach

ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
haha that's a good question

...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
hahhahaa

ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
i always tot it's the same one cos of the size haha....

...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
i fall off chair!

...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
_ _

...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
i dunno wat 2 say......

...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
_ _

ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
fine

...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
ahahhaaaa....


ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
i still rem the cockroach so i tot it mite be it

April 18, 2005
UPFRONT
US child sex criminals getting away with it
By Paul Zach
Straits Times US Bureau

CLEVELAND (OHIO) - LITTLE Jessica Lunsford was a picture of happy innocence.

A photograph of the nine-year-old smiling under a fuzzy pink hat was broadcast repeatedly on TV across the United States after she disappeared from her bed one night in late February.

All the publicity raised hopes that Jessica would quickly be found. But as the days passed, the optimism turned to dread.

Singaporeans experienced the same feelings last year after seeing pictures of Huang Na, the
eight-year-old from China who disappeared. Hope turned to horror when her tiny body was found crammed into a cardboard box at Telok Blangah Hill Park.

Police here in the US dug up Jessica's body too, behind a neighbour's house just 150m from her bedroom in Homossasa, Florida.

Not only is she believed to have been sexually assaulted, but she may have been buried alive, CNN and Fox News said.

Such crimes against children happen all too often in the US.

Last week, 13-year-old Sarah Lunde was reported missing from home, not far from where Jessica disappeared. Police say a body found in a pond at an abandoned fishing camp on Saturday is almost certainly hers.

Each week the National Centre For Missing & Exploited Children sends cards bearing photos of children who have vanished to 79 million homes across the country each week.

It reports that in 1999, the latest year studied, 58,200 children were abducted by non-family members. It also said that one in five girls and one in 10 boys in this country are exploited sexually, and less than 35 per cent of those assaults are reported.

Another study reported by the centre revealed that about 100 children who go missing are found dead each year.

In fact, as Florida police were digging up Jessica's body, 10-year-old Jetseta Gage was kidnapped from her home in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Her body was found the next day in a mobile home.

In Massillon, Ohio, a predator has tried to abduct nine children since February.

In one case, the man pulled his car into a driveway where a six-year-old boy was playing alone and held out a bag of sweets. The boy's father came to the rescue, but the man sped away.

In the same city in the 1980s, two little girls were raped and murdered. In one of those cases, a neighbour was sentenced to death for killing seven-year-old Marie Hendershot. But the Governor of Ohio commuted the sentence to life in prison.

And there's the rub.

Few would disagree with the view that the American penal and legal system is increasingly weighted in favour of criminals at the expense of victims, even when they are children.

Court rulings have made it difficult for prosecutors to win convictions, and even those who are convicted are soon on the streets again.

Investigators say a convicted sex offender, John Evander Couey, 46, has confessed to abducting and killing Jessica.

The drifter had already been arrested 24 times, including on a 1991 charge of fondling a child.

He had absconded more than once and, at the time of Jessica's disappearance, was wanted for a parole violation.

Jetseta's body was found in a mobile home with Roger Bentley, 37, police said, and he has been charged with her murder. He had already served two years in prison for abusing another child.

In the case of Sarah's disappearance, police are interviewing yet another sex offender - one of 24 who lived in her neighbourhood.

Jessica's father Mark, and Roy Brown, whose 7-year-old daughter, Amanda, was killed by a convicted child molester in 1997, had both joined the search for Sarah.

It took an earlier case involving a little girl before many Americans were even allowed to know that such sex offenders roamed freely in their midst.

In 1995, Megan Kanka, a seven-year-old New Jersey girl, was raped and murdered by a convicted child molester who lived across the street.

Her parents did not know he was there: nothing in the law protected Megan, but a law shielded the murderer, preventing police from releasing sex-offender information on him.

A public outcry led to Megan's Law. It now allows public access to such information, including on the Internet.

Just a year later, however, nine-year-old Amber Hagerman was riding her bike near her home in Arlington, Texas, singing America The Beautiful, when a man in a truck snatched her.

Four days later, her body was found in a ditch, her throat cut.

Concerned citizens again responded, helping set up the Amber Alert, in which Americans nationwide are informed over TV and radio whenever a child is abducted.

The system has helped recover 198 children since it was established, according to Mr Jim Libonati of the National Centre For Missing & Exploited Children.

Still, neither effort saved Jessica or Jetseta, and many Americans are now taking a harder look at their legal system.

An alert on the Congress.org website noted that while Jessica and Jetseta were being murdered, most politicians were focused on the case of the court-ordered removal of a feeding tube from the brain-damaged Mrs Terri Schiavo.

It pointed out that, unlike in the Schiavo case, there had been no special legislative sessions or emergency convening of Congress or state politicians for either girl. It urged Congress: 'Please strongly consider immediately discussing legislation that will allow for stricter sentencing guidelines, and monitoring of sexual offenders.'

Congressman Ginny Brown-Waite presented a proposal last week for new federal sex offender legislation named for yet another victim, the Jessica Lunsford Act. Yet what's still not getting enough attention is making sure that justice is done right from the start.

That was highlighted recently here in Cleveland.

Despite considerable evidence against him, a jury acquitted Mr Daniel Hines, 26, of the rape, murder and dismemberment of 11-year-old Shakira Johnson.

After three days of deliberations the jury asked the judge for a definition of 'reasonable doubt' - American juries are told by courts they cannot convict a person if they have such a doubt.

Last month, he was put on trial again, this time for trying to rape his 13-year-old cousin. The court heard that when her brother and a friend, Marine Private Brandon Sloan, tried to stop him, he attacked them.

Pte Sloan confirmed all that in court. But after 12 hours of deliberations, the judge declared a hung jury.

Mr Hines was cleared again.

幸福

幸福原来那么简单....e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental....

Dakota by the Stereophonics.....

Thinking about thinking of you
Some of the time thinking it was due
Yeah thinking it was due.
Laying back, head on the grass
Children grown having some laughs
Yeah having some laughs.

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

Drinking back, drinking for two
Drinking with you
And drinking was new
Sleeping in the back of my car
Never went far
Needed to go far

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

I don’t know where we are going no
I don’t know where we are going no

Wake up for coffee and juice
Remembering you
What happened to you?
I wonder if we’ll meet again
Talk about us instead
Talk about why did it end

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

I don’t know where we are going no
I don’t know where we are going no

So take a look at me now

i dunno y....

i dunno y but i seriously dislike her!!!! every little thing she does i find it irritating....i try my v best not 2 show my feelings but still i get frustrated wif her....shoot.....does it help tt i know others r equally frustrated wif her??? no it doesn't actually....i feel a little pang o sympathy 4 her but still i cannot help myself fr disliking her......& wondering always y she does e things she does....y y y.....it doesn't make me feel any beta tt others show their displeasure more explicitly than me.....still i hope she can buck up!!!!! pls!!!! 4 ur own sake & 4 every1 working wif u pls pls pls pull up ur socks!!!!!

many many things happened....

many many things happened during e past few days & i'm not even begining 2 comprehend wat is gg on....

my tkd grading was over....butterflies in e stomach as usu b4 e grading....but in e end all was well....results shld b known in 2 wks time.....

i held his hand 1st cos he was obviously shy 2 do it.....so i held his hand.....i bet he was shocked!!! i didn't know y i held his hand.....juz felt like it i guess.....

we talked abt little little things....but obviously he wasn't warmed up after e movie where i sprung a surprise attack on his hand....but gradually as we shopped ard he started 2 b more relaxed.....

he knew i was nervous abt my grading.....he offered 2 accompany me 2 e stadium e next day....i didn't 1 him 2 watch me do my grading so i tok him not 2....he insisted tt he was gg there 2 return sme stuff 2 a friend who was there 2 do grading 2.....so we made e trip 2gather....sweet o him....

i made him leave e stadium once i reached & he had returned his stuff 2 his friend....but yes he didn't go....i didn't know abt it until much later in e day.....

went 4 my dragonboat trg after my grading....been a long long time since i've last went 4 trg.....still aching now....

when i reached home, i was so tired....but he sms me tt he had smething 2 say 2 me once i reached home....so i smsed him....

his sms read: "i luv u....."

i was really stunned & speechlesss.....i dunno how 2 reply.....it was seriously a little 2 fast ain't it??? when i didn't reply, he smsed me:"so do u have anything 2 say 2 me???"

i was seriously speechless & totally numb....not sure if it's cos i was so stoned after a full day o activity.....

i dun remember e exact msg tt i smsed him....but i told him tt it was sweet & tt i was totally numb.....

after a few smses later, i smsed him:" is it weird tt i feel like seeing u now?".....

cos i seriously 1ed 2 look at him when he said wat he said....

a few other smses later, i was really tired & told him tt i was gg 2 bed....he was oredi on his way 2 my place!!! so i waited 4 him.....

when i met him....e 1st thing he said was:"i dunno y i'm here....but i'm here....".... i sort o melted at tt moment....he was blushing, i'm not sure if it was cos he rushed 2 my place or cos he was shy....it was probably a combination o both.....

e worst part o e mtg was my sis saw us.....& knowing her KP character, every1 in my family know tt i was holding sme guy's hand......i cant say my family's not close, but i've yet 2 make head & tail out o tis whole situation so i didn't 1 2 announce 2 e world tt there's tis cute young boy tt i'm c-ing.....

& i seriously dun tink they wld understd y i wld c sme1 so much younger than me....much younger than my youngest sis even!!!

anyway, i tink i'll start tinking abt it when he comes bk fr m'sia & when he has finished his exams.....4 now....i know tt i like him.....tt's abt wat i can say.....

2 our friendship/sisterhood

surfboarding....my next passion...

we r beautiful

gal power...

Bliss.....

Bintan Lagoon Resort

TTMG Club logo

bintan 05.04.03 - 05.04.05

i 1ed 2 write tis blog entry in chinese actually but i'm in nie now...dunno how 2 use chinese here....didn't have time 2 blog ytd.....

i cried in e showers again ytd....i remembered very clearly e other time i did tt was in jc....after jj lost e volleyball game.....i wrote in my journal my feelings & torchic read it....she said she dun understd y i cried.....i was tinking abt it & i tink it's cos i felt bad.....or mayb i was very touched by e whole event & e more i tink abt it while i was in e showers, i cried....tt was probably it....

anyway bk 2 e bintan story.....i was walking home after tkd.....along e way i started 2 tink abt wat i shld b blogging....tinking as i walked....i felt e urge 2 cry.....as i passed by shuqun pri sch, i lifted my head 2 look at e stars....wah........there was a lot!!!!!!! but i've no idea wat constellation they belonged 2......

I cried…..we didn’t get 2 c stars at bintan, but tis trip I discovered smething more….a friendship tt I know I’m so fortunate 2 have…..

I cried at bintan….at e beach….not fr laughter….but a sense o contentment….a sense o being so fortunate……we didn’t c e stars but we saw more……e sometimes snow-like spectacle, & most times e most magical feel….i was mesmerized by e whole thing…..it looked like millions & millions o shooting stars….i made a wish….tt every1 wld b幸福.....cos I felt so幸福.....e rain started 2 get bigger….we decided 2 leave…..but we stopped at e shelter…..there…..it was more spectacular….every1 stood there 2gather…..i cld feel e body heat….warming not juz my body….but my heart…..i cried at tt pt….& I’m crying as I re-live tt moment…..

I dunno y but I’m so high during e 3 days……we didn’t do much things but I discovered smething much more…..i discovered tt 幸福原来是那么简单.....i didn’t hold any expectations b4 e trip…..i only 1ed 2 slack & do nothing…& I discovered tt I got more in return…..

I kept asking myself tis qn….y I’m so fortunate 2 have tis bunch o friends….i must have done a lot o gd deeds in my previous life!!!! & they r all here 2 return e favor in tis lifetime!!!!

Yes I’m gg 2 use my tagline: I’m not ugly, I’ve a gd family, I’ve a gd job, I dun ‘ve much 2 worry abt, I’ve a bunch o such gd friends, I’m really very 幸福......

Tis bunch o gals who in spite o my eye rolling reflex (& not 2 nice smelling s***), continue 2 make me laugh & feel happy, & make me cry…..thks gals!!!! I really appreciate it……u gals mean more than friends 2 me…..

Official Award Letter

Dear Zhen,

This is to officially inform you that you've been awarded the life-long membership to the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.

With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG

Official Appointment Letter

Dear Juan,

This is to officially inform you that you've been appointed the Treasurer of the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.

With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG

i'm so dense...

i was still wondering y he never asked me out.....how weird tt things developed via sms only....i spoke 2 him only twice after our dive....juz morning calls.....& i knew he must have practised a speech b4 he called me....hahahaa...he was so nervous....

i'm so dense!!!! until my dear colic mas enlightened me ytd....hahahaha....i'm so laughing at myself!!!!!he did dropped hints but i never caught them....hahahaa....ok so now i get how tis whole game o love works!!!!at least how e initial part is like.....hahhaaaa....we're gg out 4 movie on sat.....i dunno if i'm excited abt it.....i'm actually more worried tt we've nothing 2 say actually......

haizzzz....c how it goes la.....

seawater is gd 4 cough!!!!

amazingly my cough is getting so much beta!!!!dunno if it's cos i drank so much seawater or is it becos i'm so happy.....hahhahaaa...anyway.....i'm so so so happy.....indulging myself again.....hahhahaa....3 cheers 2 our TTMG club!!!! hip hip hurray...hip hip hurray...hip hip HURRAY!!!!!!! ;P

幸福是那么简单。。。

幸福原来是那么简单。。。我好高兴。。。真的非常高兴。。。真的感到很幸福。。。谢谢你们。。。

WMD fest....

shoot....2 times!!!! i deleted my own post 4 2 consecutive times!

anyway....

WMDfest....i dun tink it was a real sucess but it was a gd event, & i'm glad i was part o it....

e last 3 days i was happy......sun was happy wif e purchases tt i made!!!! although i burned a hole in my pocket......

fri & sat was busy wif e WMD.....but i was happy 4 another reason.....yes ultra ur guess was correct....u can really read me.....

he's juz sweet......wif his smses.....i didn't 1 2 tell u gals abt him until he stops his smses....but he continued wif his sweet smses......it's sweet.....i'm overdosing myself.....i shldn't b tinking so much but i did anyway...& i'm indulging myself.....ok tell u gals more abt wat happened on thu.....i'm gg 4 a SPSS launch tmr so tt's no chance u gals can grill me then!!!! hheheheheee....

anyway, he's really young.....but he's sweet.....& i shld seriously stop tinkin gso much.....

did i say it was him???

eat snake....

Official Award Letter

Dear Ultra,

This is to officially inform you that you've been awarded the life-long membership to the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.

With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG

Official Appointment Letter

Dear Owl,

This is to officially inform you that you've been appointed the Secretary of the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.

With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG

Official Appointment Letter

Dear Torchic,

This is to officially inform you that you've been appointed the Vice President of the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.

With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG

矛盾

为什么你喜欢的人总是不回应？而喜欢你的人你却不喜欢。。。这真是个可笑的世界。。。能不能让这世界简单一点？？？我不想要那么幸苦。。。可以让我简简单单过吗？？？

这是我第一次在blog写华文....testing 1st....

CLUB TTMG

Club President: Bionicgal
Vice President: Torchic
Secretary: Owl

Life-long Member: Ultra

For eligibility to this exclusive club, pls try to TTM every day, every hr, every min, every sec....

For subscription to club please write to comments@bionicgal

Motto: TTM every waking & sleeping moment....TTM is not a fault, it's a rite....

TTM

i tink i'm juz TTM la......i always do......

dun move....

dun move 2 close.....i may juz fall.....

a week ago....

exactly a week ago....i took e bus 2 transview.....all ready 2 go 4 my open waters.....i dun really my feeling then....i guess i was in a pretty much concussed state then cos i had 2 wake up really early 2 do publicity at orchard hotel....which wasn't part o my job actually....

when we reached, doremon was there....saw e list o pple who were gg.....all their passport no. start fr 80+++ much much younger than us.....then there was tis whole bunch o NS guys (same crew cut, same poser pattern....) coach ride 2 mersing was kind o uncomfortable cos i kept swinging here & there.....but it was still ok, at least i wasn't having any travel sickness....ferry ride was also smooth but rather cold......

reached e resort ard 6am....we had 2 wake up at 8 4 breakfast then e dive.....i ko almost immediately when i reach e bed....

i woke...still sleepy but excited....breakfast wasn't tt gd actually & i didn't 1 2 eat 2 much else i wld puke.....moses gave a little talk under e coconut trees then we had 2 change & get ready.....

1st dive, giant stride......wasn't tinking much...juz doing.....snokled a bit while waiting 4 e others 2 jump in....fishes...reefs...i was happy......descend.....shit, i hit e reefs....i bent my knees but i hit e reefs wif my knees 2....sorry coral reefs!!!!! a run o e skills tt we learnt....finished...

2nd dive a bit chaotic....every1 was floating here there everywhere.....haonian & victor were having trouble contolling every1....moses was helping pam equalise her ears....but tis dive was where i saw e most beautiful things among all e 5 dives.....i wasn't as frightened as i tot i wld b...mayb becos i saw e others who were much more KC than me.....hhahaaaa....

3rd was ok....but e current at e surface was making me a little scared actually.....but underneath it was peace & quiet.......

end o 1st day's dive.....had dounuts 4 tea...btw e lunch suck big time...but again i didn't take much cos i was afraid i wld get seasick....

sat at e beach...looking at e sunset....relaxing....even though i knew time was short....i felt gd.....climbed e bridge...wobbly at certain parts....not much o an adventure....but fr e brige, e sunset was even more beautiful....

e nite was e best.....e stars.....i was totally absorbed in it......it was beautiful.....tt momentous blackout was e highlight.....stars.......wow.......

more fun wif e other open water divers.....all youngsters fr SP.....young men...or shld i say boys becoming men.....cute...innocent...gentlemenly most o e time....

2 more dives then we were on our way bk 2 s'pore......kind o sad actually.....i knew time was short but it was really 2 short.....

e last meal o tt day, at fong seng....prata wif teh tarik.....took cab home wif haonian....he asked...y did u 1 2 dive.....i paused.....i 1ed 2 overcome my phobia.....u did well then! congrats....yes i did it....& i'm glad.....

i'm sure many times we have many different phobias & we choose not 2 face them.....but when u do, they may not b as scary as they seem.....i tried & i succeeded.....

sometime vs sometimes.....

sometime
adv.

1. At an indefinite or unstated time: I'll meet you sometime this afternoon.
2. At an indefinite time in the future: Let's get together sometime.
3. Obsolete. Sometimes.
4. Archaic. Formerly.

adj.

1. Having been at some prior time; former: a sometime secretary.
2. Usage Problem. Occasional.

Usage Note: Sometime as an adjective has been employed to mean “former” since the 15th century. Since the 1930s, people have used it to mean “occasional”: the team's sometime star and sometime problem child. This latter use, however, is unacceptable to a majority of the Usage Panel.

adj : belonging to some prior time; "erstwhile friend"; "our former glory"; "the once capital of the state"; "her quondam lover" [syn: erstwhile(a), former(a), once(a), onetime(a), quondam(a), sometime(a)] adv : at some indefinite or unstated time; "let's get together sometime"; "everything has to end sometime"; "It was to be printed sometime later"

sometimes
adv.

1. At times; now and then.
2. Obsolete. At some previous time; formerly.

adv : on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always; "sometimes she wished she were back in England"; "sometimes her photography is breathtaking"; "sometimes they come for a month; at other times for six months"

muay thai....

any1 interested in gg 4 1 or 2 weeks trg of muay thai in thailand??? check out the following site

http://www.phuket-muay-thai.com/index.htm

i'm planning 4 a short getaway then go 4 tis trg.....

happy st patrick's

happy st patrick's 2 all!!!!

wat's it celebrating actually i'm not 2 sure......

Fr http://www.stpatricksday.ie/cms/stpatricksday_history.html

St. Patrick's Day - History

St. Patrick's Festival was established by the Government of Ireland in November 1995.

The principle aim of St. Patrick's Festival, since its inauguration, is to develop a major annual international festival around the national holiday over which the 'owners' of the festival, the Irish people, would stand proud. It sets out to reflect the talents and achievements of Irish people on many national and world stages, and it acts as an exciting showcase for the manifold skills of the people of Ireland, of every age and social background.

As the one national holiday that is celebrated in more countries around the world than any other, St. Patrick's Day is the day when everyone wants to be Irish. However, it was a strange fact of life that the celebrations held in Ireland for St. Patrick's Day prior to 1996 paled in comparison to those held abroad, especially when one considers what an ideal opportunity the day represented to showcase Ireland and Dublin to the world. We set out to seize that opportunity, and completely transform the national and international perception of St. Patrick's Day in Dublin. This country is bursting with the kind of creative energy, ideas and enthusiasm required to do the job. Our job has been to harness them, and make our national holiday an unforgettable experience for all.

Why was it started?

St. Patrick's Festival was set up in November 1995 with the following brief from Government:
Offer a national festival that ranks amongst all of the greatest celebration in the world

Create energy and excitement throughout Ireland via innovation, creativity, grassroots involvement, and marketing activity provide the opportunity and motivation for people of Irish descent (and those who sometimes wish they were Irish) to attend and join in the imaginative and expressive celebrations project, internationally, an accurate image of Ireland as a creative, professional and sophisticated country with wide appeal, as we approach the new Millennium.

The first St Patrick's Festival was held over one day, and night, on March 17th 1996. With a little over four months in which to effect change, the main object was to demonstrate that changes were afoot and starting the process away from "just a parade". The live audience for the day was estimated to be 430,000.

In 1997, we dropped the word "Day" from our title and it became "St. Patrick's Festival", a three day event. The festival has since grown to become a four day festival and in 2001 is was enjoyed by 1.2million people.

Preparation for the first St Patrick's Festival used to take only 5 months, but with the growth of the Festival, it now takes 18 months to plan for Ireland's biggest annual celebration.

y do u 1 2 've kids????

y does any1 1 2 've kids???? seriously, i can't find an ans 2 tt.....or rather i find e ans i get disappointing....give ur comments on tis issue on http://kenjin.motime.com ..........seriously i 1 2 know e reason.....i 1 2 know if i'm really tt odd....

a memory etched in my heart...

find david tao & BAD inside....

doremon & vic....

open water gang...

babes....

Grp pic

i left my heart......

only 1 sentence 2 describe my last weekend.....

i left my heart at pulau aur & wif e kids fr SP.........

Adopt a Children's Society Handphone Strap...

Dear Friends of Singapore Children's Society

To many, a mobile phone strap is lauded for its many utility functions; ease of locating your ringing phone in that ever cluttered bag, and of course, perks up your phone! On 18 March 2005, an extraordinary, cause-worthy meaning will be added to the existence of mobile phone straps: to bring hope, add colours to little lives, and help many disadvantaged children make a connection for an better future through our Street Sale 2005 fundraising project.

An inaugural fundraising project by Singapore Children’s Society, Street Sale 2005 aims to raise S$150,000 for our children through the island-wide public sale of mobile phone straps bearing the Children’s Society’s Logo. A total of 80,000 attractive phone straps available in four vibrant colours will be sold at a minimum S$4 each on the streets on 18 March 2005.
We invite you to share your love, hope and dreams with the 12,000 needy children, youths and families under our care by adopting our hand phone straps in blue, pink, black and white!

You can place your orders by filling up the attached order form and fax it back to us. A minimum order of 4 pieces in one set at S$20 (including postage) is required for postal order. Local delivery is only applicable for 50 pieces and above. Please see the attached form for more information on how to order the "love connection"; i.e mobile phone straps.

Please help us to help our children by circulating this email to your friends, colleagues or relatives. Thank you!

Check out www.childrensociety.org.sg for more information.

another stupid publishing error.....watever i wrote not published......

i'm so sleepy oredi pls stop doing tis 2 me!!!!!!!!!

2day totally caught up wif fri's conference publicity......haven touched on e things 4 tmr's mtg....die......but i'm so tired now 2 continue plus i need 2 go tkd.....

he's cute.....he kept me entertained.....althought it was probably juz polite exchanges between us.....appreciated it though....i'm juz so easily satisfied.....

Today Monday • March 7, 2005

In a generation that has much, S'pore women still can't have it all

Teo Hwee Nakhweenak@newstoday.com.sg

They headed straight for the cot. One took a corner of the blanket and lifted it slightly. They looked. Then, without a word to the woman lying on the bed next to the cot, the two women left.

Gender check.

That was my welcome into this world.

I was my parents' third daughter, and my arrival — to some — was cause more for disappointment than celebration.

When Ma gave birth to my eldest sister, her in-laws sent over a pot of boiled pig's intestine. One whole intestine, uncut.

My grandmother chuckled.

"Your in-laws are hoping for a son the next time round," she told Ma. "That big chunk of an intestine is to 'change' your womb, so that it can produce a boy."

It didn't work. By the time I arrived, Ma was exhausted. Three daughters in four years.

As she cradled me, she cried. Not for her, but for me.

Today, Ma looks at me with pride.

Sometimes, with a tinge of envy, she comments on my seemingly full life, my promising career and doting husband, my material indulgences.

But every now and then, she reminds me gently: "Nak, you should start thinking about having a baby. And then you'll have it all."

Can I really have it all?

While a woman's status in society has made quite a leap since my mother's time, some things have changed precious little. Perhaps they will never change.

The truth is, while women have dramatically expanded their role in society over the last few decades, men have hardly progressed.

The default burden of domestic responsibilities still falls primarily on women. In Singapore, where a domestic helper is almost de rigueur for working couples with children, even the handling of matters related to the maid is mainly left to the female in the family. We won't even talk about who does the household chores for a couple without help.

While women have stepped with ease into what is traditionally seen as men's territory at the workplace, men have not taken on domestic obligations as naturally.

When I go out with girlfriends of mine who have become mothers, I have come to expect frantic phone calls from fathers asking for help: Jamie's refusing to eat, what shall I do? When am I supposed to give the next feed? How much of that medicine did Doc say to give?

Not surprisingly, these dinners often end abruptly, earlier than planned.

In reviewing child-friendly policies in March last year, the Government predictably disregarded calls to consider paternity leave. Being the ever-pragmatic government, they are well aware how much help men can render, compared to women. Minister Lim Hng Kiang, the chairman of the steering committee on population, told the House that if given too much paternity leave, men would probably stay home "doing nothing".

In other words, while women today are expected to be superwomen, men remain just that — men.

Having said that, no one can deny the exclusivity of a mother's role in a child's growing years. This firm belief is what has kept me from venturing into the next phase of my life.

Motherhood is more than dumping your child with the grandma or the maid, or at an infant care centre.

It has to be better than affording your child 45 minutes of the day before he sleeps — because you have meetings to attend and work to clear.

Singapore has only just woken up to the urgency of developing an infrastructure that can sufficiently support the working mother. Foremost on the list is a mindset change in employers so that a mother-friendly workplace can be the norm rather than the exception. Can that happen within this generation?

Norway, reputed for its family-friendly policies and high birth rate for a developed economy, took 50 years.

So. Reality check.

If you are expecting the men to shoulder more than they are traditionally conditioned to, get real.

If you're waiting for miracles to happen soon at the workplace, forget it.

Want to have a baby, and give your child that undivided devotion? The best option might be the most obvious one.

It takes courage to say this, because it is just not politically correct to want to give up one's career for full-time motherhood. Many of the women I know would not agree with my view that a mother should commit to her new role full-time, at least for the first crucial years.

Because the women's liberation movement started out with fighting for a woman's rights to work, gender equality has since always been seen as being synonymous with a woman's ability to work.

I know women who have chosen to stay home — but feel lousy about themselves.

At the same time, I look at friends who are working mothers and very often see a harassed woman who complains about the trials of being a working mother. Ironically, while thinking that we have at last been set free, women have let themselves get weighed down by the shackles of the right to have it all, and with the measurement of a woman's self-worth by her career. Should not true liberation be the ability to go after the one thing that we want — happiness?

Right now, I have accepted the shackles. I have chosen my career, at least until my biological clock protests and my maternal instincts cannot be ignored.

Am I better off than my mother?

She had too little. I have too much.

For her generation, life was ruled by simplicity. For mine, it is complicated by greed. Compared to the world that greeted me as a newborn girl, society has moved on.

Still, for whatever those credit card ads would like us to believe, the feminist-propagated notion that women can have it all is a myth — still, at least for my generation. And I wonder, when I cradle my newborn daughter in my arms, what will I be thinking?

This commentary appears in Her Story, a book of essays by women published by the Singapore Council of Women's Organisations to mark its 25th anniversary this year. If you would have a view to share on the issues raised, please write to us at news@newstoday.com.sg

modern women????

i dunno if we r really modern women.....

but my sisters all disagree wif my mom's philosophy abt marriage.....r we e modern women????

i'm not sure.....but i'm glad tt i'm not e only person who felt tt my mom's philo is wrong.....

chastity underwear....

was talking 2 my younger sisters abt my eldest sis' family problem.....

we had a conclusion......

let men wear chastity underwear.....

wif e wives having e key......tt way, men can't stray.....

but i doubt any men will 1 2 wear....wat wif their super inflated ego......

any men out there who's willing 2 do tt????

y....i can't ans tt....

y r they always quarrelling.....

r they still quarrelling......

i'm hungry......

i 1 2 go home......

i dun 1 2 go home.....

bong bong 1st???

no....

go home????

no.....

u 1 2 stay at ah ma house????

nod nod.....

tmr got school leh.....

come on let's go.....

do u 1 2 go home????

.......

.......

di di sleeping oredi?????

xiao di di not di di....

i tink so....

how u know.....

(i dun.....)

20km at least....

i walked 4 >20km on sat.....till sun actually.....started at macritchie to bt timah......walked 4 ard 9km (exclude kampong trail???) then e hike thro' bt timah.....rested, had mee hoon bandung....then started to walk all e way bk 2 jurong west.....e approx distance fr bt timah 2 jurong west was 5km....

sam, xie xie u 4 joining us thro' e bt timah route.....thks 4 entertaining us....u must have felt silly walking wif 4 jie jie.....who didn't act their age.....i was oredi quite out o breath when u asked abt europe.....not tt i dun 1 2 share but i was "up breath cannot catch down breath".....hahhaa old liao la......& we really like gan lu.....i was busy trying 2 keep up & not fall down........ahhahaaa a bit nite-blind la....shld eat more carrots.......

walking walking wallking......sounds o e 15 pple chatting.....sound o nature.....i was concentrating on not falling....concentrating on sam's jokes (lame it may b smetimes....).....trying 2 pic him & ultra.....trying 2 b happy......trying 2 let time pass.....

i juz 1 e time 2 pass.......but i dun 1 e sun 2 raise juz yet......trying 2 hold on 2 e darkness....

my comment on torchic's blog.....
"i didn't 1 2 talk actually...i juz 1ed 2 waste away e time....2am....it was really early....i didn't 1 2 talk much....we were talking abt everything else except wat was bothering me...i was glad 4 it actually....was glad tt sam was there cos else i wld b crying....tt's y 1 jio bryan 4 movie actually...cos i know then i wldn't need 2 tell him my problems....& juz let time pass wif sme1 by my side.....i didn't 1 2 cry in front o u gals cos i dun 1 u gals 2 b sad...."

i know u gals wld tink it's alrite 4 me 2 cry......but i dun 1 2 cry......it's juz sad smehow...i juz felt sad....tt's all....it'll b ok soon......i dun 1 u gals 2 've 2 know all these sadness....cos i dunno how 2 verbalise it anyway.....i juz 1ed 2 walk & walk....walk.....it didn't matter tt my feet was not tt glad o e trip....i 1ed 2 walk smemore when i reach my park.....but i knew it was an irresponsible thing 2 do......i 1ed 2 walk 2 lakeside.....walk rd e canal.....walk bk again.....but it wasn't safe.....i 1ed 2 walk alone.....no....actually i 1ed sme1 2 walk by my side....any1 wld do actually....any1 wld do.....but again, it was really irresponsible o me if i asked......

i 1ed 2 sit there perhaps......i'm juz so afraid o gg bk smehow.....i'm juz so afraid o waking up......i juz 1 e time 2 stop.....stop at e summit.....i felt like crying then actually, when suddenly sam went ouch..."ant bite my ear...." hahhaaaa....his unintentional moments made tis trip memorable......thk u da shi xiong/shi fu/sam/william.......& 2 u gals......

e beautiful sky...e stars.....e chong ming sound.....e cool breeze.....e darkness....e tiredness.........

backstabber....

shit u.....

i didn't expect u 2 b so stupid....i shldn't 've assumed tt fools do not exist....i'm e greater fool now having caught e shit u shifted 2 me!!!! stupid....thk gdness i'm e white horse, 've sme magical power 2 shift e shit bk 2 u.....

S knows how u work tt's y she forwarded e email 2 me....else i wld never know tt u backstabbed me....shit u....S told me tt i shld try 2 accomodate how u work, tt every1 has their weakness & strength....shit.....no choice tt i'm working wif u on e pre-conf....i'll juz need 2 b prepared not 2 get e shit fr u ever again!!!!!! i promise i'll always remember how stupid u can get......i'll not assume u can b smart.....no use saying sorry when i seriously dun tink u meant it.....i dun tink ur vocab was tt bad tt ur email sounded tt way....& plus it didn't help tt u didn't cc e email 2 S 2 me when u r always e expert at cc every single email 2 every1....

shit u......

glad tt e shit is cleared fr me....but e smell will always linger.....i'm tt XQ......no choice.....i really 've no respect 4 u.....

i dunno.....

i really wonder.....

do i 1 2 ask?????

haizzzz.....

pls take care o urself....

u r e only 1 who can take care o urself.....

there's nothing any1 else can do 4 u unless u 1 2 help urself.....

smetimes i wonder if pple tink i'm 2 strong???? i 1 pple 2 take care o me 2......but they always seem 2 tink tt i can take care o myself very well.....i know i can so i tink every1 else can do it 2.....

pls pls pls take acre o urself......if u really need a pull, u know i'll try my best 2 help u.....i can't promise tt i can do it well, but i can promise tt i'll try my best.......

yahoo schoolfriends......

interesting...pls do try...

tis yahoo schoolfriend thing quite fun....get 2 c pple fr ur school who have also signed in.....mayb can find ur chu lian qing ren here????

my colics were asking me if i wld drop email 2 my crush if i found him on schoolfriends....i wld definitely...i wldn't hesitate.....nothing wrong wif dropping him an email....

try it....

http://yahoo.schoolfriends.com.sg/

vicious cycle....

i tend 2 drink 2 much coffee when i get exasperated...then i get all edgy & can't tink properly...then i drink more coffee.....i get even more on edge....then i can't sleep....then i get headache.....then i can't concentrate...then i drink more coffee.....goes on & on & on.....vicious cycle....i must break it!!!!!

Mar 6th, Sagittarius

Quickie:Things aren't going quite as planned. Sometimes all you can do is go with the flow.

Overview:It's time to pull back, to let others know that you're not a soft touch - at least, not as soft as they thought. In the meantime, standing your ground and actually saying no is a good place to start.

Mar 5th, Sagittarius

Quickie:Suddenly, the well has dried. Better put off that purchase until the next paycheck.

Overview:Go ahead, get out there and do some serious shopping. You've earned the right, after being frugal for all this time - a virtue that you're not often able to add to your list of credits.

Mar 4th, Sagittarius

Quickie:Suddenly, your ship has lost its anchor. Wait and see where the currents take you.

Overview:Is it love? It sure will feel like it. You're set up for a sudden infatuation -- and you'll feel it within seconds. This doesn't mean it's not legit, but waiting a few days to book that Vegas chapel certainly couldn't hurt.

Mar 3rd, Sagittarius

Quickie:A goal you've sought is close enough to touch. But only patience will make it yours.

Overview:Just when you thought you had a handle on the spending thing, here comes another burst of extravagance. Should you hire a bodyguard for your hard-earned cash? Maybe not, since that's quite expensive, but you should definitely think about next month's bills.

Mar 2nd, Sagittarius

Quickie:You aren't one to take 'no' for an answer. But today you might have to do just that.

Overview:You're still dealing with that certain someone who's been trying to bend you to their wishes. Needless to say, you don't much care for bending. So when yet another challenge comes along, don't you dare buckle. Not one iota.

Mar 1st, Sagittarius

Quickie:Pay attention to the lessons of time. Let the past be your guide to the future.

Overview:Ever get the feeling that you're being worked by an expert? Well, if you haven't, you will soon -- and the expert in question may be a family member. Feel free to forget that and put your foot down.

Daily Singles:If you're feeling moody, devote a little energy toward discovering what's at the heart of it. Some quiet contemplation can help you figure out the bigger picture. Let your mind wander and see where it goes.

Feb 28, Sagittarius
Quickie:You don't have to state a reason for your preferences. You like what you like.

Overview:The secret a family member has been toting around for what seems like forever has begun to weigh them down -- and to weigh you down, too. Better find someone to talk about it.

i now know y.....

now i know y pple qn a woman's decision when she decides 2 quit her job 2 bec a full-time mom.....when a woman works, she still has capability 2 earn a living w/o having 2 stick out her hand 2 get $$$ fr her husband....& becos e society is stigmatised agst woman who re-join e work force after a few yrs in e full-term arena o motherhood.....

i used 2 tink tt being a full-time mom is a noble thing, yes it is really noble......but........i can understd y pple qn when u 1 2 b full-time mom, cos who knows wat 'll happen, wat if ur husband no longer provides????

i know it's bad 2 tink abt e dissolution o a marriage b4 it happens.....but we do need 2 do sme planning.......b4 things happen...it shldn't b seen as a stigma......i tink a pre-nuptial agreement shld b signed.....everything shld b spelt out clearly......yes, it looks like getting married will bec a contract tis way, but it really serves a purpose when things do turn out bad.....things wld not b so ugly then.......but i guess it means tt pple will not try as hard 2 salvage but.......

i dunno.........

ST Feb 27, 2005
Marry him, Fann
No longer a spring chicken at 34, is it 'time' Fann Wong marries Christopher Lee? Or does such an attitude demean women?
By Sumiko Tan

YOU have noticed that I haven't been dwelling on the topics of love, marriage and relationships
of late, it's deliberate.

When I started writing this Sunday column in 1994, hardly a few months went by when I didn't lament my singlehood. Musing on past, present and future romances was a constant theme.

But it's one thing to be hung up on love when you're in your eligible 20s and still-available 30s, and another when you've hit 40.

When you're 40 and still unmarried, it's unbecoming to be seen as pining for romance. In fact, it's desperate and pathetic.

Like it or not, the search for love and marriage is regarded as a privilege of the young.

While 40 isn't exactly 'old', it certainly can't be considered young, and pity a single woman of that age bemoaning her marital status in public.

The reason I'm revisiting the issue is Fann Wong.

Last week, the Life! section of The Straits Times carried a report speculating on how she and her alleged boyfriend, fellow TV artiste Christopher Lee, are getting married at last.

Both are 34.

One of the actress' fans was quoted as saying: 'At her age, it's also time she got married.'

It's a sentiment I share.

In the larger scheme of things, 34 isn't old (especially if you are, like me, 41). But when it comes to marriage, it's getting there.

If she loves Christopher, Fann should marry him, I think. And quickly.

A colleague was indignant when she heard this.

'How can you say something like that?' she asked.

I suppose views like mine do reinforce stereotypes about women.

Stereotypes such as how women - even beautiful, talented and rich ones like Fann - have sell-by dates, and if they miss the boat, will be left on the shelf, pardon the mixed metaphors.

Stereotypes like how women lose their attractiveness when they grow older.

Stereotypes like how women desire to be attractive to men.

Stereotypes like how, without a romantic partner, a woman's life isn't complete.

I'm going to get flak for saying this, but, guess what? I believe there is truth to all those stereotypes.

Women do have sell-by dates.

Women are physically less attractive as they age.

Women do want to appeal to men.

And having a man in one's life is better than none.

WHEN the HBO sitcom Sex And The City was launched in 1998, I, like so many other single, independent women in cities around the world, was charmed.

How we loved the antics of Carrie and gang as they flitted from one romance to another, loving and leaving men and giving them as good as they got.

The characters spoke for us liberated women on the cusp of the 21st century. We could take on men on our terms.

But the magic for me wore thin after a few seasons.

The older the characters grew (and the actresses too, visibly), the more their lives appeared more strained than swinging.

It's acceptable when you're in your early 30s to work a room full of men, showing off your cleavage. But when you're approaching 40 and still doing this, something must be wrong in your life.

Besides, much as the characters were depicted as gutsy and independent, what they were all chasing in the end was the man of their dreams.

They wanted a relationship or marriage, to be with a man and be looked after by him.

The sitcom drew to a neat close last year with all the characters happily partnered.

In real life, of course, this doesn't always happen. Many swinging single women don't have a happily ever after.

My theory is that 35 is the make-or-break age of a woman in the marriage market.

Miss it - either through lack of choice or because you are too busy or fussy to commit - and it will take extraordinary luck or hard work for you to claw back into the market and get hitched.

This is because 35 is also, alas, that age when one's looks start heading south (just check out those forehead lines that seemingly appear overnight).

And no matter how men and women will say otherwise, in the game of courtship, youthful looks always fare better than craggy ones. It's just a fact of life.

BEING still-single at 40 is a strange experience.

On the one hand, there's that part where your heart can still skip a beat when you meet someone dishy. On the other, you realise that you must finally start behaving with at least some adult decorum. It's just so sad to still be squealing over a 'cute guy'.

Complicating the matter is how, most times, you actually find yourself just not that interested anymore.

Dating is boring and meaningless, and a stress-free, asexual lifestyle with your dog and TV actually sounds inviting, especially when you come home pooped from work.

Yet, when you see happily married couples and their children around you, you feel a twinge of What If.

So, if I were 34 again and in Fann's shoes, what would I do?

Marry before I hit 35 or it'll be 'too late'? Or luxuriate a while more in singlehood, shelf-life be damned?

All things considered, I'd choose marriage.

If you are so lucky as to ever discover The One, don't let him slip away.

Because, as someone who has been there, but hadn't done that, you wouldn't want to wake up at 40 and regret it.

Send your comments to stlife@sph.com.sg