i dunno la...really...haizzz...

smetimes i really pity her...but tt doesnt mean tt i agree tt she shld stay on...i tink e boss had been giving her way 2 much chance...ok she's not as bad as L...but...she's a bigger muddlehead den any o us...& tt cld really get on e nerves o every1...

& i really 1ed 2 jump on her once...e only gd tt she cld redeem herself is her IT knowledge...but currently e connection here sucks & nth much cld b done & it sort o diminish her role even more given tt she cant solve e problem...

i dunno if she's given 2 much things 2 do or not...

like me, when i've 2 many things 2 handle i miss out details...

i really dunno...she always say she knows, she will do it...etc...but in e end things not done...& others r fretting over it...& when e boss tells her she say she'll improve...haizz..it's been once 2 many times oredi loh...

e 2 yrs tt i've been here...she has not handled things as well as wat she's supposed 2...i cant say she sucks but she's not doing e best o jobs...i wonder if she realises it...

i really hope tt she look 4 sth else...cos it's really not her forte here...

i can understd their hostility...& e gossiping...i did e same when L was such a pain in my ass...

i dunno la...i tink it's really time she look 4 sth else...i hope e boss had done sth...else it's putting a strain on others...

when i heard tt e boss wld b giving both her & me an extra half/1 day off cos o our involvemt in special proj, i smehow felt tt e measuremt yardstick was broken...

she worked hard....but it's cos she was not organised enough 2 complete e things...i worked hard cos there was so much 2 do...i dunno mayb i dunno wat she had done...

althought e extra time-off can never compensate 4 e amt o time tt i put in, it sort o gave recognition 2 e work tt i've done....it's supposed 2 b reflected in e appraisal, & appraisal is linked 2 wage increment!!!

i hope i get due recognition...

felt e tremours on wed...kind o scary...& we knew smrt was doing sme constructions...1st tot nichol highway...e trembling lasted 4 quite sme time...felt it again ytd...e ans tt e management gave:

"LTA engineer has clarify that the vibration comes from the vibration roller from the National Library as they are carrying out some road works over at our carpark entrance.

There is no need for any evacuation.

In any case of emergency that requires a total evacuation, our building fire alarm bell will sound continues. Upon hearing that then an evacuation is require.

We will follow up closely with our surrounding contractors on their activities."


i'm feeling e tremblings now again...but e roller machine is not moving at all.....hmmm...

i dun 1 2 die ah....not cos o sme stupid construction...

i can finally sit down 2 a proper meal...ahhhh....it feels really wonderful...

but i guess it will only last no more den a wk...cross my fingers...

i'm starting 2 get e jitters even b4 it starts...

i guess all women r e same...i guess it's e hormones...i guess we feel loneliness more emotionally...

finally...i sort o got sme reprievation...

ytd's mtg...finally finally...Prof E...he finally said e golden words...not outright, but definitely e message was out...

at least pple recognise e hardship & hardwork...i hope i get due recognition (in monetary forms i hope..)

fact 1: i hate chain-mail, so i'm not playing e blog tagging game ;p

Colic G:

now i know who e smartest is...now den i know...really v late...so tis is wat life is...really v naive...shld 've trusted tt nagging feeling in my heart...dogs tt dun bark really is e scariest...y didnt i get it when u told me...

click on e pic 2 enlarge..

wat's wrong???

i took a break ytd...hoping 2 recover fr tt irritating strain in my eyes & tt constant dull throbbing headache...& also 2 catch up on sme really needed slp...

i really wonder wat is wrong...e doc said tt it was probably e strain in my eyes tt caused my "muscle tension headache"...he precribed muscle relaxant medication which really knocked me out...& also sme medication 2 aid digestion...i've not been able 2 hold down much food...i get realy hungry but i've no appetite...& after eating, i get really sick...juz felt like throwing up, or it felt like e food was stuck btw my throat & tummy...

haizz...

red...

my eyes have these red veins all e time...i'm starting 2 get a bit worried...it's been quite sme time oredi, but i dismiss it cos i've been working on e com 4 v long hrs these past few wks...but these few days, i can really hardly open my eyes w/o feeling pain in them in e morn...tt day i had a really bad headache & i went 2 e doc... e 1st thign tt e doc noticed were my eyes...i started 2 b more conscious of them & i'm beginning 2 worry....

胡姬花。。。

坐在外面。。。看着那胡姬花。。。好漂亮。。。阿婆种了好多东西。。。她走了谁来照顾呢？？？家里的东西怎么办？？？想起公公和干妈。。。他们的东西怎么了？？？

突然想起妈妈。。。如果有一天她走了怎么办呢？？？马上把这想法忘了。。。人就是这样吧？？？可能是我吧。。。不想想不好的东西。。。

大舅安好了阿婆，走出来。。。拿起了水喉，浇起了花。。。会有人想起阿婆做的事吧。。。

每个人都有不一样的反应。。。

我想dear和阿姨比较感性吧。。。

阿姨从我看到她到最后一天她一直忙东忙西。。。应该是想让自己尽一点最后孝心送给阿婆。。。阿婆走了。。。她应该是最寂寞的。。。阿婆应该最不放心她。。。每个人都有另一半安慰。。。她只能安慰自己。。。每个人都觉得她做得太多。。。可能这就是安抚自己的最佳办法。。。大家的脾气都不是很好。。。熬太多夜了吧。。。不过最后大家还是一家人。。。

dear也是一样。。。我知道他很想做多一点，让阿婆感受到最后的一点孝心。。。dear，阿婆知道的。。。

她最后一程没有我想像的那么难过。。。可能是大家接受了她会离去。。。自己在家里。。。会难过。。。可能是想起了公公和干妈。。。当时真的好难过。。。到现在都还会想起。。。当时不知流了多少的泪水。。。可能是这些复杂的情绪惹得我很烦。。。让我不知如何。。。

smetimes...

smetimes i really wonder...he believes things tt i dun...mayb i'm overly sceptical...i dunno...smetimes i feel tt it wld b beta if we believe in e same things...

smetimes i cant help but tink tt he's juz 2 young...2 young 4 many things...he tinks he's mature enough...but i dun agree...but i dun say it in his face...but i guess my face showed it all...

smetimes when i juz 1 him 2 b more aware o how i feel...even though i dun understd myself tt much...smetimes i juz wish he cld say smething more den wat he did...smetimes i juz wish tt he cld shut up...when he does...i wonder y he kps 2 himself & not care abt me more...

smetimes he say things which i feel he isnt putting his heart in...he's juz saying 4 e sack o saying...pls dun...i can feel it...

smetimes he juz dun understd my mood...y i cry..y i ignore him...smetimes i wish he cld juz know w/o having me 2 say everything...

smetimes i wish u dun juz ask me how i m 2day....smetimes i wish u dun ask me if i've anything 2 say 2 u...smetimes i wish u dun ask me if anything is wrong...cos e ans is so obvious...

smetimes i wish i wasnt so rash...

smetimes....

i look ugly...

it's amazing tt pple actually noticed tt i'm in e show!! haha...u'll c me again in e same show on wed...i'm sitted at e same place in e boat again!! haha...e person tt they interviewed is not part o our team, but his members were not avail tt day so he came 2 row wif us...we r trying 2 c if we can team our deaf and e visually handicapped together as a team...tt'll b interesting..

很巧。。。他的外婆和她的堂弟都在同一个parlour。。。星期六应该会去送她最后一程。。。

看到她那无声的躯体有种莫名的感伤。。。一直安慰自己她离开了痛苦。。。为她祈福、送她到极乐。。。

他也是一直安慰自己。。。

很想去陪他。。。很想时间快点过。。。可是analysis还没做完。。。arghhhh。。。

bye bye...

真的是太巧了。。。可能就是要他回去看她最后一面吧。。。

刚买不到一星期、穿不到3次，鞋就坏了。。。他不得得回去换。。。

他应该很难过吧。。。我仿佛 在他的简讯里听到他哽咽的声音。。。我很想在他身边。。。我知道他一定是一副大哥哥的模样到处安慰其他的人。。。

她走了。。。放下痛苦了吧。。。希望她到极乐世界。。。不必担心。。。安息。。。再见啊婆。。

好累好累。。。每天都要六点半起来。。。真的好累。。。两个星期来都一直伤透脑筋做analysis。。。好多东西做。。。2 big projects & all e mini analysis。。。i’m seriously thinking tt i’m underpaid & not tt much appreciated。。。haizzzz。。。

argh...

wat m i doing in office now??? i'm officially off work at 530...but i'm still working...cos i nd 2 rush a report out tis thu...& i've not finished...argh...& i dun tink i can finish in time...argh...

& wat m i doing blogging instead o analysing??? cos my mind's a blank...argh....

i overslpt tis morn....i woke up at 730...tt was e time i was supposed 2 've left my home in order 2 b on time 4 work...argh...i called in late....intending 2 juz take 1 hr off, but i cld claim time-off 4 e wed cos i've 2 attend e interviewer trg 4 my pri study...

& e thing tt sucks e most is tt, after doing all e hard work...i dun get 2 go 4 e presentation in UK...argh....unjust i can say....but wat can i do??? we r VWOs (Voluntary Welfare Organisations)...we r NGOs (Non-Profit Organisations)....so we cannot afford 2 send every1 over...damned....& cos i'm not e principal investigator....i dun get 2 go....but wat i can say is tt w/o e analysis part e presentation wld b nth...

4 pple r scheduled 2 go....e other project which was accepted at e conference (2 presentors cos 1 o them happened 2 b pregnant & she might not go so her RA was put on e list...); my boss; & e current project's presentor....

haizzz....i m v disappointed...i was so hopefully tt i wld get 2 go....but all is dashed...haizzzz....

i tolf HN abt it...he said i shld 've "zheng qu"....but how???? it's not tt i dun 1...but how....

my boss said tt i shld let pple know my feelings...tt i shldnt hide my feelings, tt i shldnt juz shoulder e burden alone....but wat can b done even if i cry & make a big fuss???since nth can b done shldnt i juz take it???haizzz......

no doubt i'm sad....no doubt tt i cry...but wat can i do???

STI Home > Think > Story > Print
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May 21, 2006

Understanding mums and daughters
By Deborah Tannen
WASHINGTON

WHEN my mother was 92, and it was clear that her end was nearing, one of my sisters asked if I felt I had settled emotional accounts with her.

'Yes,' I said. 'I think the love and attention I've showered on her these last 10 years have made up for the suffering I caused her when I was younger.'

My sister asked: 'What about the suffering she caused you?'

This caught me off guard. I'd forgotten all that. My relationship with my mother had been more tumultuous than my two sisters'.

As the youngest, I did more to defy and frighten her: In high school I dressed in my father's shirts. I ran barefoot around Greenwich Village and stayed out late. (We were just listening to folk music in cafes, but she thought we were having sex.)

The distress I caused her didn't end when I outgrew my teens. It increased, because I was unmarried for many of my adult years.

My sisters married at 19 and 20; I didn't follow suit until I was 23. My sisters and I divorced at about the same time (her worst nightmare come true), but they found new partners before long, while it was 11 years before I found mine.

That, together with the three years between college and my first marriage, gave my mother 14 years of sleepless nights - and me 14 years of arguments.

It wasn't that I never felt unhappy about being single. But my mother's concern made things worse. Once, after she and my father visited me in Washington, I walked them to their car and waved as it receded down the street. When they got home, she called to tell me not that she'd enjoyed the visit, but that it broke her heart to see me standing alone as they drove away.

I, too, had had a fleeting sense of sadness but that wasn't the only feeling I had. I loved my house; I loved everything about the life I led as a professor. My mother's remark implied marriage trumped all. It seemed to dismiss everything I'd accomplished, reframing my life as pitiable.

By a strange alchemy, my small sadness became her big misery, which became my anguish and then my anger. Many daughters, not wanting to worry their mothers, refrain from telling them about problems. It's a natural reaction, but one that can cause mothers another kind of grief.

Many women assume being close means talking about what's going on in their lives, including personal problems. So a mother who learns her daughter was going through a tough time and hasn't told her may feel hurt.

Both comfort and conflict result from a mother's desire to see all go well for her daughter, and a daughter's desire to feel that her mother approves of her life.

Figuring this out helped me understand my mother, and understanding softened my resentment.

I always found it creepy she wanted my company so badly, wanted to know my secrets. I recall thinking: 'She treats me more like a lover than a daughter!'

But during those last years, I began treating her like a lover: I sent her flowers, gifts and affectionate notes, and I helped with her physical care.

The waves of love these gestures engendered made me understand the relationship between mother and daughter entails a level of passion that has much in common with romantic love.

One night, helping my mother get ready for bed, I prepared the container of water in which she placed her teeth, then handed her a warm wet washcloth as I'd done many times before.

But this time, she didn't hand back the cloth quickly after wiping her face. Instead, she held it to her eyes, and I realised she was crying. 'A daughter shouldn't see her mother like this,' she said.

But I said, and I meant it, 'I've seen you without teeth many times; it makes me feel closer to you that you trust me that much.'

I'm grateful that my mother lived long enough to give us that moment. And I'm grateful that Mother's Day doesn't only remind me she's gone; it also brings her back. -- New York Times

Deborah Tannen, a professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, is the author, most recently, of You're Wearing That? Understanding Mothers And Daughters In Conversation.

perhentian pics...

perhentian island...our haven 4 5 days...

beautiful grp...wonderful company...

sychronised swimming...

we saw a whale shark!!!!!!!

saw a lot o tis type o nudibranch...similar 1s found in phi phi also....

10km race...

i tink we r only in our 1st lap...we look a bit shack isnt it?? haha...but we made it in e end...=) cheers....

krabi pics...

beautiful lionfish...there were so many lionfishes in phi phi....

v beautiful nudibranch tt dear took...

finally i did my 1st outdoor climb @ Railey....e highest tt i scaled was 30m...scary but it was really adrenaline pumping...=)

1 mth...

it's been a mth...i haven even e time 2 read pple's blogs much less blog my own...

e past mth flew past...planning 4 e perhentian trip...10km row...gg on e trip..moving office..mtgs & more mtgs...data & more data 2 analyse..

i was still slacking in e mid-apr...den everything juz came...

i had a wonderful time at perhentian...not world-class resort but it cld do..

no whale-shark...but razor fishes & shrimps & baby cuttlefish...

& e many many shooting stars...

& o cos e company...

didnt dive v well tis time rd...not sure y...

1ed 2 blog more...but my brain's frozen in tis new off...

dreaming o Death...

Death...
If you dreamed of being dead yourself, it indicates an approaching release from all your worries and/or a recovery from illness. If you spoke with someone who is dead, you could soon hear very good news. To dream of a death often signifies news of a birth. To be aware of a dead person you cannot identify portends an inheritance which may not be personal but could be indirectly beneficial.

Funeral...
A dream of contrary; the meaning is the opposite of what you might think. To see or attend a funeral in your dream signifies cause for a happy celebration, such as news of an engagement or wedding; to dream of attending your own funeral indicates a relief from worry.

Casket...
Sadness (but not grief) may be expected following a dream of a casket containing a body. But if the body was your own, the dream indicates good luck ahead. An empty casket signifies a lost friend, but not necessarily through death.

Cupboard...
A straightforward symbol that means what it says. If your dream cupboard was bare, it predicts lean times in the offing; if it was full or reasonably well-stocked, you can expect your interests to flourish. If your dream involved putting supplies in a cupboard, it signifies recovery of losses through your own efforts.


Insects...
An obstacle dream. If you succeeded in killing them or otherwise getting rid of them, or if they didn't annoy you, it signifies that your difficulties will be easier to overcome than you anticipate.

Worms...
To use them as bait predicts a sudden material gain; otherwise, they signify news of an illness, unless you killed them, in which case the dream is a forecast of successful efforts.

Bugs...
A warning against unfortunate influences around you, unless you succeeded in driving the bugs off or getting rid of them in some way, in which case it signifies imminent money luck.

Lizard...
This reptile in a dream is a warning that you have false friends in your close circle. A dead lizard signifies a successful battle to protect your reputation. Shoes, bags or other items made of lizard skin predict an increase in income.

Toilet...
To dream of going to the toilet yourself is a sign of litigation over money or property; if you dreamed of someone else going, you are likely to be surprised by a request for a loan.

http://www.glamour.com/dreamdictionary

失望。。。为什么会变成这样？？？DB。。。OFF。。。Haizzzz。。。
希望不会因为小小的误会而解散。。。
在我这几年的生命里有了不小的影响。。。不知结果会是怎样。。。

pouring...

oh dear...it's pouring...hope it's not like tt in m'sia...e gals r on a cycling trip...hope they're ok!!!

jia u...yao dao le....

adventure singapore 2006...

we came in 37 out of 56 novice teams...hahaa...2 tink tt we were e last team when we 1st started!!!

HN:"Dun look bk..." ...i turned...kim turned...oh no....no1 behind us!!! hahhaa...

we did great...we finish each station/discipline very fast...it's juz e route btw each stn tt slowed us down...we walked/cycled btw each stn.....i cldnt run...no strength...kim's ankle still not ok, also cannot run...HN had 2 bear wif both o us loh...cycling was also my weakest...no matter how much i push...e bike juz doesnt seem 2 move...argh...

we had 2 deposit our bike early at 6am at e carpark in beside temasek towers...den we walked all e way 2 e padang where e flag off was...rc...waited waited waited...went 2 e toilet many times...trying 2 YN but 2 no avail....scared half way thro e race nd 2 do big biz...heng never...hahha

e starting was delayed....we started at 925am...jog all e way fr padang 2 e carparkwhere we deposited our bikes...there we had 2 do a balloon sculpture...kim & HN even more scared o balloons den me...hahha...we did it pretty fast...den we had 2 cycle wif tt balloon all e way 2 mt faber....long long way there.....e way up....no way i can cycle up!!! came down 2 push it up...

at e mid-way, deposited bike, den walked all e way up, had 2 shade out all e letters in cap for "adventure singapore 2006" fr e murals.....we took a bit o time on tt...& our balloon got burst fr pple bumping into us...damned...

after tt all e way down....den cycle into sentosa...smewhere near e big carpark, deposited bike den we had 2 do sudoku....kim started 1st, while e rest o us wore our harness cos after tt was e rope skills stn....we did pretty fast....den off 2 ferry terminal 2 do rope ascending & abseiling....we waited >1hr....in e end e organiser said only 2 members nd 2 do e ascending....so kim & HN did it while i carried all their bags 2 e 3rd floor...den fr there abseiled down...quite easy....den we had 2 do e tyrolean traverse...i was e 1st 2 go.....not easy!!! my arms was threatening 2 give up....but i held on... "2 more pulls...come on u r reaching..."...argh....finally i reached!!! =) HN & kim also did pretty fast....

we passed quite a few grps at e rope stn!!! =) we r fast.... i tot my tyrolean traverse was slow, but was actually quite fast...hahhaa....HN:" i haven even got ready, u rc oredi...."...hahahhawhen HN rc, kim was also still getting ready...tt was how fast we were!!! i'm damned proud o our team!!!

den bk 2 our bikes & ride out o sentosa 2 temasek tower carpark....e journey cld not 've been any longer!!! argh...i almost gave up...my butt was oredi hurting!!!

finally rc!!! den we had 2 walk/jog all e way 2 e merlion....there we had 2 jump off, swim & look at 2 pic under e pier.....e current was esp strong near e merlion....but i've learnt how 2 swim wif e life vest on when i went 4 e x-physique....it was easy 4 me....but HN got stuck cos a gal in front o her had cramp & e rescue kayak blked his way.....but he did well!!!

2 qns on e pic & we were on our way bk 2 e padang....we jogged cos it was nearing e finish!!! my legs really like jelly but they weighed a tonne!!! we rc!!! 1 member 2 do e rockclimb....HN went up...he's fast!!! e climbing at krabi really trained him up!!! =)

we finished, 4hr 40mins...=) YES!!!

well done team!!!

waiting in off 4 M 2 return...agreed 2 help her wif her thesis analysis...she's still not bk...haizzzz...

last last wkend, 2nd apr, i went 4 my 2nd adventure race...she's bk....mayb i'll continue my blog tmr...

adventure singapore 2006...novice mixed team...we came in 19th out o e 31 teams...=)

krabi part 2...

on e 1st nite, we shop shop here & there...looked 4 dive centres which cld take us out 2 kingcruiser wreck....but almost all e centres doing e wreck & super day (i.e. 3dives) on sat...argh....we almost 1ed 2 give up & go rockclimbing on fri den sat go superday....finally!!! we found....ao nag scuba centre....e lady was kind o relaxed...& we werent 2 sure if we shld take...but they were e only centre willing 2 go kingcruiser on fri....& they were much cheaper...so we decided 2 go 4 it.....after making e payments, we made our way 2 make bookings 4 our rockclimbing 4 sat....

wat did i c during e dive on e 2nd day??? i dun rememb!!! hahhaa...must go bk look at logbk & pics...hahaha...i rememb a v small yellow boxfish!!! so cute!!!octopus...sea snake...

after e 2 dives at phi phi island, we were bk 2 ao nang....pouring like mad when we rc...all soaked!!! free transport bk 2 our hotel....hot shower!!!so nice!!! btw, tt stupid aircon always cannot work...always 've 2 get e technician 2 fix!!! c how lousy e hotel is!!!!

woke up 6+ on fri....raining...damned....when we rc e ao nang scuab centre, we met robert, e divemaster 4 e day...he told us tt there was a storm, & it was not possible 2 go 2 kingcruiser wreck cos it was in e open wif no shelter....e diveboat wld not b able 2 anchor & it was potentially dangerous....e only other option is 2 go phi phi (other sites den e 1s we went previous day)...we discussed...since we wldnt b able 2 rockclimb if we swop e date, decided 2 juz go phi phi again...

tis 2nd day o diving was not bad!!! we went wif tis grp o volunteers (i tink mostly students) who is involved in e reef conservation in krabi...there were < 15 divers altogether...& they were quite a funny grp...& they were more relaxed....e volunteers dived on their own, whereas me & HN dived wif 2 divemasters!!!

saw quite a lot o things.....ghost pipefish....shrimps...devil scorpionfish...many diff nudibranches...& tonnes & tonnes o small fishes who r not afraid o swimming pass u!!!! & also a lot o diff puffers...& sme r really big!!! stingrays....cuttlefish...& e softcorals were really colorful!!! & i tink we saw at least 10 lionfish!!!!

we got a refund cos we only went 4 2 dives...so we had sme extra cash...hahhaa...as always, we had hot shower which was really nice after a whole day o soaking in cold seawater!!!

we went into krabi town via cab...which was really x!!! 800baht return...but e driver took us 2 a v v v v nice thai restaurant!!! initially we tot we were in sme weird eatery!!! cos there were fried red ants, insects etc in e menu!!! hahahah...den we ordered a local veg wif shrimp...when it came, it was like a plate o leaves!!! hahhaha....but it tasted really really gd!!!& tt tom yam soup was so gd!!!ahhahaha...only e prawns & papaya salad were 2 spicy!!! but they were v gd also!!!

sadly there was nth in krabi town!!!! so disappting...but we brought fruits which were v nice!! & i finally got my watermelon ice-cream!!!

on sat, again we woke up early!!!7+....had breakfast den waited 4 e pickup 2 go rockclimbing at railey...e guide, toby, wasnt 2 friendly...but e cllimbing was gd!!! 1st time i did my outdoor climbing even though i've been climbing in gym 4 more den 1 yr (almost 2 or 3??)....i was kind o scared!!! cos it was quite high!!! hahhaa....but it was definitely a lot o fun!!!!

we had a break 4 lunch, food wasnt v gd...& there was lotsa flies!!! & i mean a lot!!!!scary!!!

den we had more climbs!!! is time it was even higher!!! approximately 30m...hahahha really really high!!! tt i was really scared when i was up there!!! but i was really happy abt e climb cos i took ard 15mins 2 scale it, i saw many others take at least 30mins 2 do e same route!!! =)

it started 2 drizzle ard 4+, i had done ard 4 climbs 4 e afternoon...so was kind o tired & arms all pumped up...so decided 2 end e day...we didnt know tt we needed 2 wait 4 others 2 return 2gather...so we waited 4 almost 2hrs!!! damned...

again we were drenched but we saw rainbow on e way bk 2 ao nang via longtail boat...=)

hot shower & we were out 4 dinner...had quite a nice italian food...den we walked ard...digesting food so tt we cld go 4 foot massage....e massage wasnt spectacular but was ok....was a bit hungry after e massage...we 1ed 2 buy e local pancake...but it was late & e stall we 1ed 2 go was closed!!! so we walked further.....& heng, we found 1!!!! we had pancake wif tuna & onions, it was really really gd!!!

when we got bk 2 hotel, we asked e frontdesk if they cld pack breakfast 4 us since we r checking out early e nx day, they said e kitchen was oredi closed soo cldnt...but they never tell us tt we nd 2 tell them so early!!! damned....anyway we had fruits which we cld eat....

e most exciting thing was tt we were e 1st flight 2 land at e new budget terminal!!! there was lion dance when we landed!!! hhaha...& a lot o cameras...& goodies bags!!! & interviews.....hahahah.....tt 's e end o our krabi trip....

krabi 22-26 Mar 2006

it's more den 1 wk since i came bk fr krabi...e pics uploaded halfway...

krabi wasnt as beautiful as i imagined it 2 b...a bit disappointing...mayb cos o all e pics tt i saw on e web...made me looked fwd so much...but in e end e beaches wasnt as nice loh...so dun rise ur hopes 2 high..mayb u'll appreciate it more!!!

i stayed on ao nang...it's 2 commercialised...but we chose it cos tt was where there was e most dive centres & where it was most convenient 2 go diving loh...

e flight there was fast! 1hr 30mins fr changi airport 2 krabi airport!! i hardly caught any slp b4 we rc!!!

den another 30mins o cab ride 2 ao nang...our hotel sucks...it's call best wester ban ao nang resort...sucks totally....e bed was not comfortable...e pillows were even worse!!! & e bedsheets felt used...argh...& it wasnt exactly wat i call cheap loh...breakfast was normal...e worst was tt there were ants!!! a lot!!!! & they crawled into HN's bag when we checked out...we had a "fun" time smacking ants on e taxi ride 2 e airport!!!!!! so pls pls pls....dun ever chk into tt hotel if u happen 2 go 2 krabi!!!!

e 1st day, we had a little tour o ao nang, & looked 4 dive centers (we didnt book online cos we cldnt decide which 2 choose, we 1ed 2 take a look & chat wif e dive centers b4 we pay...)...we booked a 2 dives trip wif ao nang divers....5-star padi....seem really professional...& recommended in many sites...so we decided 2 go 4 sth safe....

2nd day, got up really early...6+...had breakfast...waited 4 e diving pick-up...our 1st krabi dive....scary...e boat was huge!!! really posh!!! but there were so many pple loh...really 5 star loh...e dive master also geared up everythign 4 u...but i dun tink tt's gd la cos it beta 2 do e gearing up urself safer...

it's kind o stressful....cos so many divers...a lot o them taking courses...& all ang mo...like v pro like tt...but i dun tink ang mo divers v gd la!!! i prefer asian divers smehow...anyway, they like on mission like tt...gear up so fast...den du du du...all jumped in...like in army or wat...so v stressful loh...den i always not confident mah....

saw a lot o little little things...& a lot o puffers...(nd 2 finish up sme work)

2 b continued....

drowning in e sea o info searching...

it's been quite sme time since i've blogged...been busy....not working....;p busy wif surfing net 4 info on holidays...initially was 4 e krabi trip....now e perhentian trip....but still haven finalized...;p

smetimes i really regret having "planned" my life so haphazardly....i do things on impulse...even though i enjoy e things but i know i shld 've done a beta job planning....instead o getting all tired & stressed out...

v busy wif so many things...& no time 2 tink or even rest...

Jan said she's inert...2 passive 2 do anything....me??? i'm trying 2 find as many things 2 occupy my life as possible tt i can hardly breathe...

i dun 've e time 2 really enjoy all e things i've planned....

there's juz so many things which i nd 2 tie up e ends....but i haven had e time 2 do it cos another thing had come up...

argh...

i've been slacking 2 much at work...no excuses...but i get really fed-up...having 2 wait 4 pple 2 respond...but they never do...den i make a decision...worrying all e time abt whether i cld 've done beta or whether i shld wait 4 their reply....i hate it...i know they r really busy...but since they've got involved in e work, shldnt they at least respond...a yes or no is beta den not replying at all!!! i hate it...& i juz dun wish 2 do anything...& i know i'm dangerously close 2 my deadline...but wat e hack...

i know i haven spent much time at home...i feel bad...but...there r so much more things which i 1 2 do...i dunno if i'm selfish...i tink so la...but really loh, if i dun do them now who knows if i'll ever 've e chance 2 do it another time....

i'm sorry mom & dad...i know i'm quite a disappointmt...

krabi...

at e airrrpot now...=) on my way 2 krabi...not as nervous as ytd...ytd had trg 4 e adventure race...had 2 climb in my track shoes...kind o hard...& was really high...had 2 do rope ascending 2...& abseiling...all went well...hope tt e actual race will be ok!!! =)

Little Angels

A 3 year old sits sobbing
In the darkness of the hall
But there's no one in the abandoned house
Who's there to hear her call.

A schoolboy sits and swelters
Too scared to take off his coat
In case any of his friends might see
The finger marks round his throat.

A girl looks timidly at her dad
And he sends a glare straight back
As the doctor looks concernedly
At the bruises down her back.

A teenager curls up tight in bed
Frightened, small and meek
And when the drunken figure wanders in
A single tear rolls down her cheek.

A little boy goes to hug his mother
And say, "I love you mum."
But all the response his affection gets
Is the sharper side of her tongue.

A baby's born with rosy cheeks
And a twinkle in his eyes
But his parents hate and neglect him
And so the twinkle slowly dies.

But last of all comes the wooden box
No more than 1 foot seven
As its three month old inhabitant
Ascends gracefully to Heaven

And when he gets there God gives him love
As he's never had on Earth
As this broken little creature
Had been hated from his birth.

But when you think there is no one there
To hear your desperate calls
We'll be there so hold on tight
And be brave my little angels.

By Emily Sanctuary

http://www.freewebs.com/angelsinneed4/childabuse.htm

it's happening again...wat i've feared...haizzz...barely 4 days...i'm so disappointed...

terrible environmt...

e off environmt juz sucks...mayb it's cos so many o us r taking time off or leave...or it cld b tt things haven been so gd 4 many o us...boss is gg thro' divorce...& her eye was bruised 2day...i didnt ask y...G had been having insomnia...she took mc & went home 2 rest...mas is on leave 4 e whole o tis mth after tt she's on half-time basis...HS has headache...she's 2 stress wif her monograph...GL took half day, she's gg 2 japan 2 visit her aunt...CY went on home-visit...J's busy wrapping bks 4 her lib...whole off so quiet..it's been like tt 4 quite sme time oredi...ever since e starting o e yr...every1 was clearing leave den...after tt was e many holidays... & now it's so many events happening...i...not 2 happy wif my 2 projects...& especially unhappy tt i'm not doing e best...& it sucks totally 2 know tt sme thing u've been working on 4 1 yr...had flaws juz b4 u launch...argh...i feel so lousy...

L's still here...& i really wonder y she still speaks 2 me...is she trying 2 reconcil b4 she leaves??? it's gd tt she goes on flexi-time becos her study interviews start in e evenings...she's not in off...it feels so much beta...

Adventure Singapore 2006 2nd Apr

Race Discipline For Novice Teams
Abseiling
Biking
Navigation
Rock Climbing
Ropes Ascending
Running / Walking
Swimming
Tyrolean Traverse

it wasnt funny...it wasnt humorous...i'm sorry...

english power...

I need to replace a word "often" in the following context, can anyone find a suitable word which a 6 or 7 year old can understand??

Eg How often do you go to the Zoo with your mother?

The word also need to be able to use the following scale

1-Never
3-Sometimes
5-Always

P.S. there is no limit on the time period, i.e. not restricted to 1 year ago,or 1 mth ago etc.

WTF....dun give me shit....

it sucks totally 2 know tt pple tink u r inferior compared 2 others....it's demoralising...smetimes i tink i shldnt do so much...when ur effort dun get recognised...mayb i really m not shining...hmmm

tt's e bridge i jumped fr...

http://kevan.org/johari?name=tannie2811

not even half way thru' but i'm zapped...

we made it...

stupid inheritance...

we talked abt her over lunch...

we discovered her website...a long ago 1...she seemed ok den...wat happened 2 her??? how did she bec who she is now???

she had a bro...i didnt know tt...had sth happened 2 him??? cos she had never mentioned him b4...sis yes...but bro???

she's scary....she seem 2 've so many diff sides 2 her...so many diff personalities....she's smart & professional 1 moment...she mess things up e nx...4getting wat had been discussed...she's authoritative...she's seeking ur opinion & instructions e nx...she's overly defensive most o e time...she tries 2 b 2 helpful...she speaks things which only she finds funny...she drops 1-liners out o e blue which is totally off e conversation subject...she's insinuating a lot o times...she twists e things she hears...she perceive things in a diff way...she says things which u dunno wat she really 1s u 2 know...

she's so scary...u dunno how she'll turn ard & bit u...

e saddest thing is tt boss is 2 lenient...in e end every1 had 2 pick up shit 4 her....& e reason they cant fire her so easily is cos she hasnt cause any major trouble....& y not? cos we r e 1s rectifying e situation....letting her go scot-free...it feels so stupid...& society is kping her cos they had "inherited" her bond fr her previous employer....duh....stupid...

i dunno...r there more 2 it den it seems???

we almost came 2 e end last nite...i didnt know it wld turn out tis way...tt wasnt wat i had tot...we'll c 2nite....

Dun read below if u r pregnant or gg 2 've baby soon.....it's really horrible.....

ST Feb 22, 2006
Baby & Child
Baby so big he tore mum apart
A new mum was wheelchair-bound for eight months and had to go through four operations. She can never carry her baby - or have another. Lee Hui Chieh reports.

Giving birth to her first baby should have been one of the happiest moments in Mrs Jenny Lim's life, but she was left unable to walk for eight months, incontinent for life and unlikely to have a second child.

Her baby had been too big - 4.3kg at birth - and the doctor eventually had to use a device to suck him out of her, in a process known as vacuum extraction.

Her pelvic bones were forced open so wide, and the ligaments holding the bones together so badly torn, that she could hardly stand and had to sit in a wheelchair for the next eight months.
Her bladder slipped out of place and both her vagina and urethra were ruptured, causing her to suffer from total incontinence, or an inability to control urine flow.

The vagina is the birth canal from which the baby is born, while the urethra is the channel that runs beside it through which urine is discharged from the bladder.

Over the next 11 months, she went through four operations to try to repair the damage.

The first two procedures were unsuccessful. The latest one, in September last year, reduced the extent of her incontinence significantly. Still, the 31-year-old manager will have to rely on sanitary napkins for the rest of her life.

She said: 'In the second trimester, the gynaecologist told me that my baby was considered normal but on the lower end of the range. So I kept eating because I was worried about the weight of my child. It's so ironic.'

The day her son was born, Oct 15, 2004, became what Mrs Lim calls her personal 'Good Friday' - her day of extreme suffering for the love for her child.

She said: 'All I remember was that I saw a lot of people rushing in. Four nurses - two on each side - were pushing my thighs apart and asking me to push with my greatest might.

'I gave a huge push and there was a very sharp pain even though I had been given an epidural and I shouted very loudly. That was when my pelvic bones just gave way, but I had no idea how severe it was.

'One of the nurses screamed at me: 'Quiet! The more you shout, the more painful it will be.' So I tried to control my pain.'

Mrs Lim's concern then was for her son's well-being.

Her engineer husband, Mr K.P. Lim, 34, who was in the delivery room with her, said: 'I saw my son's head come out and I was shocked to see that it was purple. My wife gave a shout and his shoulder came out. He gave two cries and then grew quiet. He refused to cry even when the nurses slapped his feet.'

The vacuum extraction had left the boy's head 'rocket-shaped' and with 'slit eyes', said Mr Lim. These have since returned to normal.

The hospital kept Mrs Lim on the epidural for the rest of that day, after the traumatic labour.

She said: 'When the epidural wore off the second day, I practically couldn't sit up.'

She started to run a high fever and was given antibiotics for it.

An X-ray showed that the joint holding her pelvic bones together in front - known as the symphysis pubis - had been very badly torn, the left and right sections separated by 7.5cm.
She also had tears at two joints in the back of her pelvic girdle, each measuring 2mm.

The pelvic girdle is formed by three major bones that are held together by joints and ligaments to form a circle. The main joints are the symphysis pubis in front and the two at the back are known as the sacroiliac joints.

During pregnancy, the cartilage of the joints is softened by the body's hormones so that the pelvis can stretch and allow the baby to emerge. The normal distance between the two bones is about 4mm to 5mm for a non-pregnant woman, and up to 9mm for a pregnant woman.

It is very rare for women to experience such a wide separation of the symphysis pubis.

An orthopaedic surgeon reassured Mrs Lim that it was nothing to worry about, that the tear would recover naturally and asked her to see him after three weeks.

So after about five days, Mrs Lim went home, wearing a catheter that channelled her urine from her bladder into a bag. Despite that, urine still leaked and she had to use sanitary napkins.

She was 'waddling like a duck', said her husband. Every step made her feel 'like someone was stabbing me with a knife', so she used a wheelchair to move around.

She could not go to work or take care of her baby. Her mother had to quit her job as a nurse to help look after the boy. And after a month, Mrs Lim also moved to her parents' place so that they could take care of her when her husband was at work.

A week or two after her discharge, Mrs Lim returned to the same private hospital and underwent day surgery to stitch up the opening of her urinary tract. But there was no improvement at all.

She turned to KK Women's and Children's Hospital for help. Doctors there tried to reconstruct her urethra by stitching up the torn tissues and muscles. Her condition improved slightly, but she still had to wear diapers that had to be changed every two to three hours because they would be soaked through.

It was back to square one in a month. The stitches had given way.

The Lims were referred to an orthopaedic surgeon and a urologist at Singapore General Hospital. They realised that the problem was that Mrs Lim's pelvic bones were not healing on their own, like most women's do, because her rupture was too serious.

So in April last year, they made a 15cm-long incision down her pelvic area, realigned her bones and bladder and inserted two metal plates to hold the bones together so that the joint in the centre could heal.

There had been a risk of infection and bleeding to death in such a major operation. It was the darkest period of the Lims' lives.

'I felt totally hopeless and had suicidal thoughts,' Mrs Lim said.

'I'd been to see so many doctors but they all said: 'We don't know what to do for you.' I just cried every night and I wondered: How am I going to take care of my son?'

Mr Lim remembers an evening when he returned home alone after visiting his wife at her parents'. Remembering how they used to walk down the path home together every day, he broke down and sat on his sofa in a daze for three to four hours.

He said: 'I imagined what it would be like walking back alone from now on. I was afraid my wife was going to die.'

Luckily the operation went well. About two months later, Mrs Lim was finally able to walk after eight months of moving between bed and wheelchair.

Then, in September, the urologist reconstructed her urethra again and also cut a flap of tissue from her vagina to support it.

Mrs Lim said: 'After the surgery, my whole lower body swelled up like a balloon.'

The swelling lasted for a month, but her condition has since improved greatly - she can get through a day on a pantyliner or sanitary napkin.

She returned to work - partly because her company warned her that it would have to replace her if she did not go back.

'But I will never be back to normal again,' she said.

Her back aches if she sits or stands for too long, and she cannot roll from one side of the bed to the other. She also cannot carry heavy things - her son included.

When she tried to carry the boy, now 13kg, in her arms in June last year, she felt a sharp pain.
One of the metal plates had broken.

The doctor warned her that she should not risk doing that again, and also advised her against having another baby because her pelvis was too fragile to carry another baby to term or to survive another delivery.

'I see other mothers carrying their children, something that they take for granted. It's a luxury that I'll never have,' she said.

'We love children and we had wanted two or three. I'm very sad I won't get a second chance.'

E-mail: huichieh@sph.com.sg

i finished my 1st adventure race...

Aching。。。全身上下都痛。。。完成了2006年的第一个adventure race。。。其实没有完成。。。We missed 1 station cos we were delayed。。。

Starting pt， Youth park。。。Puzzle @ Dhoby Ghaut MRT。。。Poster Q & A @ Fort Canning Battlebox。。。Soccer & skipping rope challenge @ Hong Lim Park。。。Rope climbing @ Duxton Plain Park。。。Rockclimbing @ Climbadventure。。。Cycling @ Marina South。。。Kayaking from Clarke Quay 2 Kallang Basin。。。Bridge jumping @ Oasis Bridge & swim in Kallang river。。。Abseiling @ Shaw Towers。。。Back 2 Youth Park。。。

We miss e abseiling part。。。Btw each challenge we had 2 run 2 e places。。。

跑到脚要断。。。气也快要断了。。。抬起脚都有困难。。。

在Climbadventure等了>1小时。。。要kayak时，不够life vests。。。等了>30分钟。。。

现在连上厕所都有困难！！！哈哈哈。。。我真的很weak！！！

不过真的很好玩！！！尤其是跳桥。。。站在桌子，我hyperventilate！！！脚升出又缩回。。。好害怕！！！站在那里有5mins吧。。。终于闭起眼睛跨出去。。。现在写着，心还是扑通扑通的跳！！！真的好恐怖！！！也挺痛的！！！我想bungee jumping也是这种感觉吧。。。那时skydive 都没有那么怕！！！可能是因为skydive有人和你一起跳，这次要自己跨出第一步。。。

很好的经验。。。=) 我不知道会不会再参加adventure race。。。因为真的很考体力、勇气和毅力。。。去年did NUS biathlon 、Desaru cycling 和diving。。。今年NTU X-Physique。。。接下来不知道会参加什么。。。V 刚刚email another adventure race。。。PA’s Beach Stomp。。。19th Mar。。。Hmmmm。。。不知道会不会参加。。。

Girls u 1 2 join????

stress-o-meter

The pictures attached are used to test the level of stress a person can handle.The slower the pictures move, the better your ability of handling stress. Alleged criminals that were tested see them spinning around madly; However, senior citizens and kids see them standing still.None of these images are animated - they are perfectly static.

spinning

spinning...

is it spinning???

vomitted & diarrhoea & high fever on sun...i tot i was gg 2 b ok after resting on mon...but things dun seem 2 b improving....

breaking down...

Mayb cos i feel v inadequate tt's y so stressed??? mayb tt's y fall sick so easily??? i dunno....there're so many holidays but i dun seem 2 've taken a break at all....i feel so tired so tired....no use complaining but i juz cant help myself....

every wkend had things 2 do...haven really sat down & relax....i'm so tired....& i feel so stressed when i fall sick....there r so many things 2 b done & all e deadlines tt i cant even rest properly when i'm sick....ytd had mc cos o food poisoning...but my whole mind was on wat i haven done...tinking abt how i had messed up my schedule becos o not being able 2 do e things planned....2 studies both seem 2 b running a little late oredi...

i kp telling myself tt i cant let work control me....but....argh....i really really 1 2 rest properly.....but i juz cant take my mind off work....

i cant go on like tis....else i know i'm gg 2 break down anytime....& i cant afford 2 break down....

even planning 4 a break is difficult....argh....

food poisoning over e wkend。。。很不舒服。。。头好像缺氧。。。Very lightheaded 的feeling。。。好像要晕的感觉。。。吃不下。。。会饿可是吃不了多少。。。大概有3+ days 没有胃口。。。HS 说我瘦了。。。可能吧。。。我只觉得很weak。。。很weak。。。

没有答案。。。

哭可以解放压抑的情绪。。。可是当你只能自己哭，而又不能哭出声来。。。那是多么痛苦的？？？你知道吗？？？

隐藏你在哭。。。隐藏哭过的痕迹。。。好难，好辛苦。。。

为什么那么委屈自己？？？直得吗？？？我没有答案。。。

忍。。。

我可不可以告诉你，我有时真的感觉不到。。。我只能相信你。。。可能是骗自己。。。我不知道。。。

很想发你的脾气。。。可是觉得很无理取闹。。。我会要求太多吗？？？

忍。。。

终是为你着想，你有为我想过吗？？？终是迁就你，你有迁就过我吗？？？

我或许比你有时间，这并不代表你不能付出多一点。。。感情是不能衡量可是最终应该有来有往吧？？？

你说我从来都不说。。。我想说时，你在不在呢？？？你问过你自己吗？？？I deserve more don’t I？？？

吞进去。。。

有时真的觉得对自己很不公平。。。为什么要那么为难自己。。。明明是很不开心可是就是要装做没关系。。。很虚伪。。。

知道不是他的错，可是还是不开心。。。而这不开心只能往自己的肚里吞。。。只能装潇洒。。。心里的痛不知如何解决。。。不知告诉自己多少遍他是无能为力的，不要不开心、不要哭，泪还是流。。。

TTM President 的荣衔我很想卸下，可是始终还是被我蝉联。。。

有时很想回到过去。。。没那么多emotions。。。

TTM Club 还没解散吧。。。至少President 还在。。。只是mtg少了吧。。。Member也少了吧？？？

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!

Happy CNY...

要过新年了。。。虽然每年都是一样，去阿嬷和外婆的家、看电视、回答同样的问题，我还是很喜欢新年。。。昨天去买贺年礼物给DEAR的家人。。。看到人人都在办年货。。。很有气氛。。。是有点挺开心的。。。HAHAHA。。。

OFFICE刚刚布置好。。。很有MOOD NOW！！！ =)

fruit juice any1???

dunno 'll lao sai or not la...try at ur own risk!!!

(1) Carrot + Ginger + Apple
Boost and cleanse our system

(2) Apple + Cucumber + Celery
Prevent cancer ; reduce cholesterol, and address stomach upset & headache

(3) Tomato + Carrot + Apple
Improve skin complexion ; cut bad breath

(4) Bitter gourd + Apple + Milk
Avoid bad breath ; reduce internal body heat

(5) Orange + Ginger + Cucumber
Improve skin texture and moisture ; reduce body heat

(6) Pineapple + Apple + Watermelon
Dispel excess salt ; nourish the bladder and kidney

(7) Apple + Cucumber + Kiwi
Improve skin complexion

(8) Pear & Banana
Regulate sugar content

(9) Carrot + Apple + Pear + Mango
Clear body heat ; counteract toxicity ; decrease blood pressure ; fight oxidization

(10) Honeydew + Grape + Watermelon + Milk
Rich in vitamin C + Vitamin B2 that increases cell activity and strengthen body immunity

(11) Papaya + Pineapple + Milk
Rich in vitamin C, E, Iron. Improve skin complexion and metabolism

(12) Banana + Pineapple + Milk
Rich in vitamin with nutrition ; prevent constipation

any1 can give me pointers on how 2 make tt ball-shaped ang bao lantern thingie???

CREEPY....

不知道我是长的太美还是我的脸上有什么， 她好喜欢傻瞪着我。。。

真的很怀疑她的精神状态。。。

ANOTHER CENTRE 的 HEAD TT DAY CAME DOWN 2 OUR OFFICE 4 TRAINING。。。SHE PURPOSEDLY HAD LUNCH WIF HER。。。IN E END HER CONCLUSION。。。她怪怪的。。。& SHE ASKED US：“IS SOMETHING WRONG WIF HER？？？”SHE EVEN ASKED E NX DOOR CENTRE HEAD 2 COUNSEL HER。。。。HMMMM。。。

NOT JUZ ME WHO FIND HER WEIRD。。。& V WARY OF HER MENTAL STATUS。。。

IT'S EVEN WORSE WHEN U R STUCK IN E OFFICE WIF HER ALONE。。。SHE JUZ GIVES U E CREEPS。。。

星期一起来好开心！！！ 1st， 因为DEAR回来了！！！2nd， 因为我梦见S finally gave L e BOOT！！！省来好开心。。。以经好久都没那么HAPPY了！！！

he's bk...but he's still as busy...gg 2 e jb factory....den he'll b gg bk 4 CNY...hmmmm....

Oompa Loompa Snr, wat's ur chinese name ah??? sound a lot like my niece's name rite???

陈怡冰。。。tentatively we have chosen tis name....but dialect dunno how 2 spell....Tan Yee Bing i tink...any1 knows??? bing??? cos last nite we were trying 2 "ping" but dunno how 2....hahah

baby niece....

it's a girl!!! congrats bro!!! but baby's leg a little bent...doc say wld b ok after putting sme bandage on....hope everything ok!!!

ST Jan 16, 2006

Script your own fairy tale
I grew up cynical of marriage. But one year into mine, I now see that the bliss can be real

By Tee Hun Ching
girl talk

I WAS in my early teens when it hit me that few, if any, marriages came close to the warm, fuzzy ideal often portrayed on TV.

Not that there were any big rows, slamming of doors or the scary like in my home. In fact, my parents always made it a point to take their fights behind closed doors.

But my siblings and I could always feel the chill when things were not right.

Pursed lips, tight smiles and terse exchanges were the marks of a frosty spell which could last days, during which I would feel helpless and listless.

Even when normal ties resumed, I strained to spot signs of affection.

Looking back, I cannot recall a single marriage outside of TV world that stood out as a beacon of happiness while I was growing up.

While none of my friends in school came from broken families, it was not uncommon for me to discover, during visits to their homes, that their parents slept in separate rooms.

The first boy I dated had to call home whenever we were out just to reassure his mother that he was not with his estranged Dad.

In fact, only one of my ex-boyfriends could boast of parents who seemed to get along.

I was not looking out for lavish bouquets, sweet nothings or passionate smooching a la celluloid romances.

Just simple signs of enduring intimacy, such as a playful nudge or an exchange of knowing looks that no one else could decipher.

Indications that, despite problems, a couple chose to grow old together not because they had to, but because they wanted to.

I was convinced that a marriage would eventually become a chore at best, or an unbearable yoke at worst.

Statistics seem to bear out my cynicism, as more couples here call it quits after decades of marriage.

In 2004, 20.2 per cent of divorces involved those who had been married for at least 20 years, up from 13 per cent in 1993, when the number started climbing steadily.

But, as I mark my first wedding anniversary, I've come to see that marital bliss need not be a figment of Hollywood's imagination.

IT IS up to us, really.

Sure, my husband and I might still be lapping up the honeymoon phase, when flaws are regarded as adorable quirks rather than tiresome traits, and misdemeanours dismissed as accidents rather than irksome habits.

But through trial and error, we have established some parameters for, hopefully, a life of harmony.

Given the negative examples we witnessed when we were young, we know now what not to do.
We make it a point to share nearly everything, from money to chores; we tackle issues of contention, rather than launch personal attacks; we say our piece and hear each other out, no matter how absurd we think the other person's stand is; we avoid going to bed upset, which cuts the risk of hurts festering.

Friction, we were assured during our pre-marital course, is a given when two people try to live as one.

A healthy relationship is marked not so much by the absence of conflict, as it is by how well a couple weathers storms.

If you choose to keep a mental ledger of who is right and who is wrong rather than view problems as a common enemy, the road ahead will be an obstacle course rather than a companionable stroll.

Problems can either fade to become wisps of memories, or snowball to become a time bomb - the decision is yours.

I always recall what Madam Judy Liang Ching Ping, the Beijing-born wife of British veteran journalist Dennis Bloodworth, said when asked if there was anything about her husband that drove her mad.

In 2000, the Singapore-based couple launched a book titled I Married A Barbarian, which captured their 42 years of interracial marriage.

I spent half a day at their home off Upper Thomson Road culling more nuggets for a feature to tie in with Valentine's Day.

'If you want the butterfly, you have to accept the caterpillar,' Madam Liang said in what her husband dubbed 'Pinglish', a fractured variant of English that he described fondly as 'more picturesque than precise'.

The motto had obviously kept the flame going. Endearing exchanges played out often during the interview, and little gestures spoke volumes about their love for each other.

While he knew just when to jump in and finish a sentence for her without seeming to belittle her, she fussed over him often, ironing out his brow with her fingers so as to 'make happy face' for the camera.

It was the first time I witnessed a real-life happy-ever-after.

'The passion might become less, but something deeper, more enduring takes over,' said Mr Bloodworth of the lasting union that had braved cultural gaps, language barriers and parental objections.

When I read about his death last June from lung complications at the age of 86, my heart went out to his widow.

Just knowing that someone loves you for who you are can make you a stronger, better person, I remembered the benign man telling me.

That afternoon with them, I learnt what the phrase 'the whole is greater than the sum of the parts' truly meant.

Yes, marriage in reality is nothing like Hollywood fairy tales; it can be far better. It is up to you to script the ending.

office update....

another bad news in e office....hs quarrelled wif her hubby....hmmmm....hope everythings gg 2 b ok....hope tis little episode wld make both o them understd each other beta...

G's down 2day.....hope she's gg 2 b fine....her hamster passed away last sat, & she has fallen sick....hope everything's gg 2 b ok...

GOOD news....addy proposed...another happy event, although now 've 2 tink abt buying wedding gifts....again any suggestion 2 gifts??

baby on e way...

my sis-in-law's gg 2 hospital 2day...gg 2 have a caesarian tmr morning....

another new addition 2 e family...

=)

e house is getting crowded....

hmmm...now 've 2 tink o wat 2 buy 4 e baby's 1st mth.....

any suggestion other den e usu baby clothes???

GID...

it juz occurred 2 me tis morning in e train....e 3 members o GID all have rather "un-normal" rs....

she's holds a master, he's a grad....hers is a she....she's 6 yrs older...

hmmmm....no wonder we always 've so diff perspectives....& all our warped humor!!! hahhaa...

interesting combination....

3 yrs....or more accurately, 2+ yrs....hahaha how time flies....

cheers 2 many more GIDs!!!

baby snow....baby fiona...

Oompa Loompa Tan Lun Ba or Oompa Loompa Tan Wang Ba???? ahhahaha.....

sorry sorry....hahaha....but seriously, paedo snow do u really 1 2 've kids??? i'm contemplating filing 4 child abuse now.....;p hehhee sorry....

we shld trust fiona's judgement....hahaha

wat's up....

Congratulations snow!!!! jan c my hunch was correct...hahahha....btw snow, yuan xiao is on e 12th a sunday.....=)

it was a great mtg up.....i had lotsa laughs....been kind o depressed like jan....mayb it's e weather...& o cos e change o lifestyle suddenly....

i know how it feels so weird....i'm gg thro e same if i might say...so hang in there janjan!!!

snowflake actually sounds like a gd name!!! Snowflake Tan Xue Hua.....hahahhaa.....sorry sorry!!!!

it's gd 2 know tt not all e relationships r tt bad....at least i c more friends getting married....having babies....& not hearing abt any divorces....

it's been depressing in office....i really dunno y....again it must b e rain....all 3 had a little hiccup in their rs...or shld i say major upheaval....hmmmm....

she said she's moving on....she said she'll b ok....but it'll juz take sme time....

hmmmm....

i was in a rather gd mood ytd.....up until tis evening....i cleared my cupboard....finished....hungry, had a bowl o chicken curry....& i sat in front o e tv.....not knowing wat 2 do....& 2 lazy 2 do anything.....hmmmm.....i dunno y.....i've been so used 2 having him ard....even watching tv was ok....w/o him ard.....hmmmm....thing juz feels weird....now i understd how shan said she cld laze ard w/o doing anything wif his husband.....haven heard fr her 4 v long....wonder when she's planning 4 a baby.....hahahaha.....after getting married, e nx thign pple ask is when u having baby????

cny.....usu qns fr e relatives again....hmmmm....

i got only 1 new top & skirt.....not planning 2 get new shoes....unless i spot sth....

i wonder if i nd 2 go 2 his place 2 bai nian....hmmmm.....not gg is weird.....gg is also not exactly v exciting....hmmm....

fan again.....

i looked expectantly at e lit up Mr Incredible...but it never amt 2 anything...

gg bk 2 how we used 2 b...

chrisi was bk 2 doing cards...every yr during x'mas i try 2 make 1 at least 4 e grp o them...but last yr, i was really not feeling in e mood at all...i dunno y...i juz cldnt pick myself up 2 do....i had ideas in my mind wat 2 do...wat in e end i didnt make any cards....i made a sleigh each...it wasnt as personalized as i 1ed....i printed photos & wrote behind them as cards....

e pictures were taken during e past yr...they were memories which i cherised...& i hope it brought bk memories 4 them...or at least e pictures spoke o sth 2 them...i dun really which pic was given 2 whom...but all o e pic told a story...

swing's was a pic o e tower @ wheelock place taken fr e inside....it looked so complicated...but ultimately, things will b simple, & u can easily climb out...




















juan's was a pic o e millenia walk wall...e pic was taken on a wkend...i tink it was national day...it was so quiet there....not like e normal bustling workplace....juan take a moment 2 tink abt wat u 1 in life???




















tcc's was a pic taken in desaru...a trip i wld never 4get...it was a trip which i loved & hated at e same time...i knew tt nth is impossible if u believe in it...i hope u'll have many many more cycling trips 2 whereever u like....




















nee's was a pic taken in aur...e 1st diving trip...again i wld like 2 thk u 4 taking care o me thro'out e whole diving experience...i wldnt 've enjoyed myself so much if u weren't there! thk u!!!& it was tis trip which made such a difference 2 my life...




















chris' pic was o a sunflower...e sunflower juz reminded me o u...i hope u r as cheerful & carefree as u used 2 b...hardly get 2 meet up wif u...hope everything's gg well...




















ling's is a pic o a purple lily...i haven given it 2 her....2004's x'mas is still wif me 2...so is her many many letters which i wrote 2 her...i never mailed them out...hoping tt smeday i';; get 2 pass them 2 her personally...i gave her e lily becos i 1ed her 2 know tt nth can b so bad...everythign can b started afresh....there'll always b a rainbow waiting...dun give up on urself...dun close urself up...




















zhen, i 4got which pic i gave u...is it e 1 on e road?? it was taken in desaru...it was e journey tt was covered...never ending...we've walked so far...& we've still a future 2 walk 2...which way we'll go is still unknown...but as long as we believe...i know there's no mountain high enough tt we cant conquer....

i dun understd....

almost 1 wk....2 more 2 go i hope....everythings seems 2 b running pretty smoothly over there....i'm wishing wif all my heart tt it goes on....

dunno if i've always been like tt....mayb....juz tt i busied myself so much tt i dun c it....now it's so apparent tt i'm so afraid....y is it like tis??? i'm so scared....i'm so vulnerable....

when everywhere ard u, things continue, but ur time juz stops...so stuck by urself....tt i dunno wat 2 do...i feel so insecure....so much doubt....

it's time 4 me 2 look deeper inside isnt it??? but i chose not 2....i dunno why....i juz hope tt time can bring me along....dun leave me behind....

i cld understd her beta....or rather i cld std in her shoes....it's weird....but i guess every1 goes thro e same things....i'm much luckier....no doubt....she's much stronger....she has pulled thro'....but still loneliness consumes her....

y r we borned alone in e world??? y did we've e other den if we r destined 2 b alone????

there's never forever....i hope it does....there's never certainty....but i hope i will....

telepathy...smetimes it happens...many times it dun...mayb it was juz a coincidence...i dun wish 4 it....i 1ed it....

i hope every1's doing gd....not like me in my tormented mind....i wonder if she's sick...i tink i'm e 1 breaking down....& i dun understd it at all....i try 2 b more sympathetic...but it made my life so much worse....i dun understd y....

there never seem 2 b a reason...or is there a need 4 it? i hope i dun nd it....& i never nd 2....

life is such a tormenting state....but i'm enjoying it nevertheless.....aint we humans such a funny creature??? choosing pain instead of pleasure & peace....mayb tt's wat we always crave....

y is it happening 2 me??? wat is happening 2 me??? argh.....shit....

it's nice 2 have a break after u r stuck it in 4 so long...u start looking at it from a different angle...i hope it's gd...

i'm so afraid but at e same time i'm excited...

e only thing which i dun look fwd 2 e new yr is o cos having 2 face her...i dunno...it's been such a frustrating thing...pls...cld e process b faster??? it's been 2 long....haizzz....

当你发现生命不直是为了自己而活，会不会开心呢？

Cluedo...

A brief history of the world's favourite mystery game

In 1946, a solicitors' clerk from Birmingham, England, paid a visit to the firm of Waddingtons Games Ltd., in Leeds. Anthony E. Pratt and his wife had come, with a couple of game-inventing friends, to present their idea and prototype of a mystery detection game to the game manufacturers. They met and played the game with some Waddingtons employees while the firm's managing director looked on.

Fortunately for all of us, the people at Waddingtons liked what they saw and agreed to produce the game. Only three years later, Parker Brothers brought the game to Australian mystery lovers - and it's been a family favourite ever since!

Why "Cluedo"?

That's elementary, my dear Watson! Because the object of the game is to collect enough clues to solve the mystery.

But when this classic game was created in England, it was called "Cluedo", taking off what the Britons called LUDO (pronounced "lew-doh"), which simply means "I play" in Latin. So when Waddingtons Games Ltd., agreed to produce Anthony Pratt's new board game, they made a play on words: "LUDO" became "CLUEDO". And in more than 40 countries around the world, it's known either as CLUEDO or by the American CLUE name.

Who's Who?

Speaking of names, how do you suppose Mrs. Peacock and Colonel Mustard fare in other nations? You'd be surprised - because she is a he, and he is a she!

In Norway, Mrs. Peacock is called Baronesse von Blauw, but in Spain she's Capitano Azurro, a man. And Colonel Mustard is known to the Swiss as Madam Curry.

In Germany, the exotic Miss Scarlet is called Fraulein Ming. In Switzerland she's got a more ordinary name, Evelyne Rose, but she does have the distinction of being the only Cluedo suspect in the world whose suspect card bears a first name!

Spanish players call Professor Plum, our absent-but-murderously-minded professor, Dr. Mandarino. Meanwhile, the Swiss have more insight into his character: They call him Docteur Dunkel!

And what of our resident corpse, whom we Australians aptly call Mr. Boddy? The Britons who invented him call him Dr. Black. In Spain, he's Dr. Lemon. In Switzerland, either Herr Kludo or Monsieur Cluedo, depending on which part of the country you're from. But the U.S.'s special set of Spanish rules have hit the nail on the head: They call him Sr. Caddaver!

What would the rest of the world make of our four new suspects - Sergeant Gray, Madame Rose, Monsieur Brunette and the lovely Miss Peach?

The Manor of Murders
Ever since the Cluedo game was introduced in Australia, the unfortunate Mr. Boddy has been murdered daily at Boddy Mansion. In the Cluedo Master Detective version, he'll meet his end at his little country place, Boddy Manor.

In this new game, there are three additional possible murder locations and some other new rooms as well, as befits a man of Mr. Boddy's stature. But, despite concern expressed by fans over the years, there are still some amenities we have not added to his house - but other countries have.

Specifically, for years Parker Brothers has been asked where everyone sleeps, since there are no bedrooms. Concerned players also wonder why such an elegant house has never had a bathroom. Well, the compassionate Spanish and the efficient Swiss have taken care of both.

Dr. Lemon - alias Herr Kludo or Monsieur Cluedo - as they call him, has both a bedroom and a bathroom in their versions of the game. Since for years he's had a garage in Spain, at his Cluedo Master Detective estate we've added a Carriage House, complete with a couple of horses - always handy for a cross-country get-away!

What's behind the Cluedo popularity?

Ask many people their favourite type of book, they might allude to the latest Nobel prize winner's tome on their bedside table. But interrogate them further, and they'll confess they love a good mystery! And what movies have been tops at the box office recently? Suspense thrillers, especially ones with a real twist at the end.

But why do people love a good mystery? Could it be the foreign locales? The fascinating perpetrators and suspects? The sheer ingenuity of the writer who pulls all the personality quirks and clues together to present a neat solution at the end? Best-selling mystery novelist Mary Higgins Clark has said: "I like to see justice triumph. My sense of orderliness demands it. The world is chaotic. There's a catharsis in having order restored. That's why so many people read mysteries." (from an interview in the Boston Globe).

But whether you're a fan of Ms. Clark and Agatha Christie or prefer the psychological probings on Patricia Highsmith ... whether you think Dick Francis is on the right track or you like your sleuths hard-boiled, like Raymond Chandler's Same Spade or Robert B. Parker's Spenser ... or whether you'd rather put your feet up and watch Perry Mason or Sherlock Holmes solve the crime on TV, there's no lack of good mysteries to chose from. They provide escape and enjoyment, as you use your little grey cells to collect clues along the way and try to figure out Whodunit before the author tells all at the end.

For nearly four decades, mystery devotees have had but one motive for playing the Cluedo - and now Cluedo Master Detective - games: You get to pretend you're Sherlock Holmes, Nancy Drew, Charlie Chan and Miss Marple, all rolled into one. And there are so many possibilities of Who, Where, and with What Weapon, that the mystery changes every time you play. You can experience the escape and enjoyment of playing a game while collecting the right information and making the correct deductions in order to solve the mystery. Unlike other games, these two depend on a lot more than blind luck to win.

So, as that Belgian master detective Hercule Poirot would say, "Let's exercise our leetle grey cells." Then he might just add: "Let's solve a Cluedo Master Detective mystery!"

fr http://www.cluedofan.com/

今时不同往日。。。

wat a line....wat a jerk...wat a gd excuse...8 yrs...i cant even imagine...it's sad 2 know tt after 8 yrs, he had 2 say tt...all e promises seem so frivolous...真的很可笑。。。挺难过的。。。想不到八年换回来的竟然是一句 “今时不同往日，人是会变的。。。”。。。


为什么每当我很想握着你的承诺时，我都看到让我不敢安心go all e way 的事...很难不去想未来。。。将来会怎么样不知道该不该想。。。haizzz....

bk 2 work....

when u said tt u wld b "coming bk on e 23rd as of now"...i'm doubtful...it'll b delayed...u'll go down 2 malacca direct 4 cny den...i wldnt b c-ing u so soon...haizzz....

hope ur work runs smoothly...

looks gd...

heart attack in dec...

surprised??? =)

happy birthday...

x'mas gift xchange 2005 in office...

x'mas gifts fr colics...

x'mas sledge...=)

resolution 4 2006...

e 1st thing tis morning tt i 1 2 do 4 2006 is 2 learn how 2 drive...i dunno y i suddenly feel e urge 2 1 2 learn how 2 drive...i've never 1ed 2 learn driving at all...not ever...but surprisingly, e 1st thing i tot o tis morning while i was in e showers was 2 learn 2 drive...mayb cos he's up in penang now, & i tot tt if i knew how 2 drive, it cld 've been so much easier 2 c him...hmmm...i shld really sign myself up 2 learn else i fan hui again... e 2nd thing tt i'm proud of is tt i finally took e effort 2 clear my cupboard ytd nite...& i took e effort 2 look @ all e banks...2 really save up 4 us...i hope e energy i've dun wither out 2 fast... i've decided 2 go 4 pilates again 2...=) juz signed up...starting tmr....

actually...

actually 2005 i did quite a lot o stuff even though i stopped many many things...i got my 1st double in tkd...i went on e longest cycling trip o my life...i made my 1st cheesecake...i toured fort canning...i went 4 my 1st aikido lesson (although i only went 4 it once...)...i was part o e organising committee 4 "row for a cause" (i was in charge o finance...although i suck at accounting...)...i played a role in WMD...my bro got married...i had fun @ flag day after yrs not having 2 do it...i had my share in e successful ISPCAN asian regional conference...esp proud o my pre-conference workshop...i had my 1st stay in Pan Pac...my 1st road trip 2 KL...my 1st biathlon...my 1st dive...my 1st nite dive...my 1st deep dive...my 1st encounter wif so many diff sea creatures...my 1st time visiting m'sia so many times in a yr...my 1st time really hating sme1 so much...e 1st time i cried in office...e many many times tt i've laughed...e many many time tt i cried...e many many times i got stepped on...e 1st time i got backstabbed....e 1st time i went 4 walk for the children...my 3rd dragonboat race...my 1st time climbing @ yishun safra...e 1st time i went 2 kent ridge park...e 1st time i ate @ mt faber...e 1st time i played cluedo...e 1st time i took so many pics 4 e entire yr...e 1st time i actually touched a puffer fish...e 1st time i touched a blue spotted sting ray...e 1st time i had so many bbqs & steamboats in a yr...e 1st time i got so many gifts throughout e yr, not juz @ x'mas or bday...e 1st time tt i realised tt i eat really v healthily...e 1st time i had so many heart attacks in m'sia...e many many restaurants tt i went 2 4 e 1st time...

so many things....i guessed i've learnt a lot...i've experienced a lot 2...

penang???

ur penang trip had been postponed 4 so long....fr late nov to now still have not gone up...i dunno if it's gd tt ur trip was postponed....at least i got 2 celebrate so many holidays & special days wif u....my bday, ur bday, x'mas & mayb new yr 2....

dun kp worrying abt me k? i'll b ok! i promise!

dun get 2 stressed out....dun neglect ur body!

jia u dear!

it's e end o e yr...

last wk e ed came down 2 have mtg wif us...an annual event...we usu start off wif e latest news (which o cos was abt nkf) den an "ice-breaking" session den on wat nx yr was gg 2 b....

tis yr, ice-breaking qn was wat was1 thing which u've learnt in tis yr and how it affect u...

i was quite caught cos i haven really tot abt it....tis yr i stopped a lot o my activities cos o a strained ligament...i didnt do much things...

when it was my turn 2 share, e 1st thing tt came 2 my mind was diving...tt was e 1 thing which i learnt tis yr...it brought me into another world, & it brought sme1 special into my life 2....

actually i 1ed 2 write much much more but now no mood 2 really blog...in office, only me, G & boss in...every1 else on leave....

no1 on msn also...all on leave except 4 nee, who also took 1/2 day....

bored....

gift xchange...

2005.12.26 Nee's place i gave puzzle to tcc, tcc gave XXX to nee, nee gave music box to chris, chris gave lip gloss to juan, juan gave soap & bookmark to me. swing gave earrings to zhen, zhen gave slippers to swing.

x'mas gift xchange...

1st yr at NYDC HV swing gave x'mas stocking to chris, chris gave photo frame & chocolate to tcc, tcc gave socks to zhen, zhen gave HP strip to juan, juan gave towel to me, me gave pens & holder to swing. nee & ling exchange (ling didnt turn up) 2nd yr at Esplanade swing gave XXX to zhen, zhen gave lipbalm to me, me gave sushi candy & photo frame to nee, nee gave earring & water bottle to juan, juan gave XXX to swing. chris & tcc exchange wrist rest. 3rd yr at swing's place, swing gave nail polish to me, me gave cushion to tcc, tcc gave earrings to juan, juan gave XXX to chris, chris gave XXX to nee, nee gave pants to zhen, zhen gave XXX to swing.

pls fill in e XXX for me.....

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

i hoped u had a great bday....i had 2 heart attacks during my stay in ur home...=) pleasant suprises....i'm so glad we talked so much....=) thk u dear....

DYM...TTM...

i dunno if it's cos o DYM.....'ve been tinking or rather trying v hard hard not 2 tink....i dunno....i dun 1 2 tink....rite or wrong....m i doing wat i 1 2 do....or juz 4 e sake o things....haizzz....i dunno....i feel so bad smetimes....i dunno y i'm so irritated....i dunno y....i dun understd....i dun even know how 2 put it into words....i dun....haizzz....

2 free i guess....i dunno wat i'm doing....i'm never tinking abt wat i'm doing....

do i even 1 2 tink????i dun tink so....haizzz....

desaru....it was a gd memory.....

i've been 1ing 2 ask....& i've ask b4....r u e same as me....doing & tinking e way tt shld b.....not e way tt it is????

settling down????not wat i'm tinking o....definitely not in ur agenda....dun pacify me....dun say all these things....pls dun....pls.....

m i acting???m i juz trying 2 b on equal grds???

dun continue juz becos o all e words.....dun continue juz becos u've started.....

mayb i'm juz waiting 4 u 2 throw in e towel 1st....mayb i juz dun 1 2 b e 1....mayb.....

i'm so lousy....

grieve...take ur time...

she broke down e moment she spoke...i was a bit taken aback by e sudden death o her friend...i tot she was oredi in UK wif her bf...happily ever after...but....i didnt know how 2 console her...i'm bad at it...i juz listened & gently comforted her wif a pat on e bk, letting her know tt i'm listening...

dun blame urself 4 not spending enough time...dun blame urself 4 not treasuring ur loved 1s when they r ard...

b comforted tt she followed her dreams...b comforted tt he was there 4 her...b comforted tt she had probably left her pains behind...

take time 2 grieve...take time 2 comfort urself....

i dunno how 2 comfort u...but i'm glad 2 b a listening ear...