beach volleyball....

last nite saw e shi zhi lu kou, nono's grp had 2 play beach volleyball 2 get e last food item. really miss playing it!!! really really long time never play oredi!!!! at least 4 mths or more i guess!!!! weather's pretty gd at ntu rite now....longing 2 play volleyball....haizzzzz......

swarmed wif things...

suddenly i'm swarmed wif so much stuff.....transcriptions looks like it ain't gonna end anytime soon...i've 2 start planning/scheduling 4 my social loafing study/mood & decision study...hopefully e response wld b gd then i can do them all at 1 go instead o having 2 run so many different sessions.....then i'm still negotiating wif e polys on if they can help me recruit/disseminate info 2 students regarding e studies....y do pple dun give a damn when u email them???? can't they juz email back & say they've receive the email & will look into it??? then have 2 schedule wif e singapore american school....hopefully they can do it in aug.....i've not decided on wat i'm gg 2 do when my contract end in aug....my boss asked me if i cld work 4 n additional mth...i said as long as e project needs me then i tink i'll stay...but i'm really tired o this job...my boss' friend is coming 2 spore 2 work in smu, she has asked if i 1ed 2 work wif her...my boss' colleague, another lecturer also asked if i 1 2 continue my job as RA....but working as ra...really quite boring cos no1 2 talk 2...no colleagues...get quite boring sometimes....(but gd in e sense tt i can do watever i 1 & dun really have 2 tink abt backstabbing or anything...) gg 4 n interview tmr....research officer.....
 
suddenly have 2 make so many decisions 2 make....dn know if i shld sign up 4 another 12 sessions o kickboxing....cardio-mix also...dun know if i shld sign up...sign lang....e next level is intermediate 1, a bit worried cos i really suck at sign lang....if i continue, e next level is IS2, dun know can continue then or not cos by then my contract ends, i dun know where i'll b.....
 
it's juz 2 difficult 2 make any decisions when i dun know where i'm headed....
 
my bro's gg 2 vietnam on a backpacking trip....really kind o envy him....feel like juz disappearing 4 sometime 2 but somehow things r pulling me back...r they juz imaginary ???
 
ytd snow told me a story....
 
there was tis puppy who was kept in a cage. & rite in e cage is a nail sticking out fr e grd, which cld not b taken out. everytime e puppy sits down, e nail will poke e puppy, & he wld yelp painfully...everytime when he yelps in pain, e owner wld come & stroke it & e puppy will stop...
 
pt o e story, i'm juz like e puppy, talking/complaining abt all e stuff tt i'm facing but never doing anything abt....after complaining, i juz let e matter go....shld i juz keep sitting on e nail or shld i do something 2 remove e nail???  since e nail can't b move, shldn't i juz move myself???? shld i venture out o e cage & take a look at e world outside? e nail is only in e confines o e cage, if i dun step out i wld never know.....
 
 

guess where i m rite now...

i'm still in my office listening 2 e negotiation tasks....hell.....my shoulders acting up again....i haven had my dinner but i'm not exactly very hungry...i'm tired....7 sleepy & my ears r aching 2....i shld juz pack up & go....shoot....i'll pack up e laptop & continue at home....damned....wat kind o life m i leading.....shoot....my brain's a numb again....

i dun 1 2 know....

been a bit o a chaos at home lately....my youngest sis sort o packed her stuff & went 2 her bf's place 2 stay....i dun know wat e hell she's tinking & i hope she knows wat she shit she has got herself into....she was supposed 2 go on an overseas attachment but there was some dispute wif her course mates & she decided not 2 go afterall...i guess she was pretty frustrated over it & my mum, who was gg 2 pay 4 all her expenses, wasn't 2 keen abt paying 4 her....she had 2 do her attachment in spore, & guess where she had 2 work?? in paya lebar! we live in e west, & every morning she has 2 wake at 6+....on e 1st day, after work she went 2 her bf's place. mums as usu, wld call...but she didn't pick up her phone so as all mums wld do again, my mum called her quite a few times....she didn't pick up e call....& u know wat her bf did? he called back & scolded some bad-words at my mum! wat e fuck! so my mum decided 2 cut off my sis' mobile line (my mum pays my sis' mobile phone bill so tt she can at least know where my sis went, but guess she juz had a hell 2 much fun being so care-free!) so e next day my sis came home. she didn't even talk 2 my mum.

i didn't know abt all these until ytd morning...my mum told me tt my sis took some o her clothes & she haven came back home 4 3 days oredi i guess....my mum was so angry, she aked me if i had my sis' bf' no, but i never bother 2 keep e no. mums r 4ever so soft-hearted. she always tells me tt she ain't gg 2 bother abt my sis, but everytime she still worries....mums....i dun 1 2 get myself involved cos i feel tt my sis has been pampered enough & she's old enough 2 know wat's rite or wrong. she's responsible 4 herself & i guess my parents shld juz stop paying 4 her stuff & let her know juz how much she is dependent on them. how she tinks my parents owe her everything....u r responsible 4 urself! she never seem 2 get e pt! everytime tt she doesn't come home, my dad scolds my mum & it always disrupts my sleep....i juz wish my sis wld juz grow up! wat e fuck does she tink she is! doing all e crap she's done.....

maths qn...

long time never do math qns....found tis qn on my pc, it was part o an expt.....pls post ur ans!!!

Of 55 people attending a party, 30 drink coffee, 20 drink tea and 7 drink both coffee and tea. How many people attending the party drink neither coffee nor tea?

tkd grading

haizzz...didn't manage 2 get a double tis time....but our instructor said we did pretty well & e person who got a double was cos o her age...she was almost twice my age...anyway, gd in a sense cos then all e 3 o us wld b o e same belt then we can do e pattern 2gather again! not 2 much o a disappointment since i've oredi got a plesant surprise fr my BS3 exam...


ytd's training had 2 do rolling. dun tink it's easy ok! it's not!!! even e black belt pple dun know e proper techniques 4 rolling!!! e amazing killer machine in our club, dizon, demonstrated e technique, & he was really gd at it!!! basically u've 2 roll over w/o ur head touching e grd. once u've master tt, then u'll need 2 jump over barriers, u know like all those jackie chan movies?? very difficult 2 put all these actions into words, but a pity last nite's training was a bit short so e junior belts, aka me & 3 others, only managed 2 practise on our left roll....now my left thigh a bit aching...i'm very clumsy & my roll keep gg side-ways...haizzz, i beta go home & practise more!!!

actually 1ed 2 go 4 extra tkd class...cos there's n extra class on fri which involve more sparring...but i've yet 2 learn more basic techniques 1st....sparring shld b quite fun! but those black belts in our club, super scary when they spar, like 1 2 kill e opponent like tt!!! so scary!!!

we r having a potluck again...next wed, partly cos 2 celebrate e person who got double & cos she's gg 2 philippines & staying there 4 gd....dun know wat 2 bring....nikki suggested e orange jelly....i've made tt like ultimate times! i made tt 4 my sign lang class potluck 2.....c how la...cos i really have no flair in cooking....any suggestion as 2 wat 2 make???

sign lang....

got my exam results 4 my bs3 ytd. much much beta result then i anticipated! 95.5%!!!!! i was tinking 80 wld b more than a bonus 4 me! was really happy!!!

had a little potluck during sign lang class ytd cos it was our last lesson. still contemplating if i shld go 4 e intermediate class.....

come 2 tink o it....it's been ard half a yr since i started my 1st sign lang class....how did i got started on sign lang???? nee actually jio me 2 attend tis 2 day course which gives u n overview o sign lang & e deaf community. i was really free then, so i juz went cos i was really really free & nothing 4 me 2 do.....after e 2 day course, i wasn't very keen on signing ip actually cos i was pretty clumsy at sign lang (we were intro 2 e alphabet)....but i joined cos i was juz 2 free.....

now it's been more than half a yr, n i'm really glad tt i did take up sign lang cos o e many pple tt i've met....they really did make a great change in my life.....

i tink i'm e kind o person who dun like 2 make plans...whenever i make a plan, everythng juz doesn't go as planned, so i've decided not 2 plan. & when i dun plan, things juz happen & usu it's 4 e best.....c how w/o a tot i joined sign lang & all e rewards tt i've reaped so far! so i'm pretty much not 1ing 2 plan 4 my future rite now.....i dun 1 2 screw up anything & i really pray & beg tt everything will juz fall into place....i guessed i'm juz 2 lazy 2 plan anywayz...

actually, i juz feel tt i really appreciate all e pple who had actually appeared in my life....although i might not have spoken 2 u or even notice ur existence, i still feel tt they make up a part o my life! life wld never b e same w/o all o u! & i seriously hope tt i've made a +ve impact on some1's life some way or another....do drop me a comment 2 tell me how i've influence/disrupted/corrupted ur life. add a little sparkle 2 my even vain self!!!!

ok now back 2 my next dyad transcription! hello ears, can wake up oredi, time 2 do work!!! i'll let u rest soon! btw wish me luck on e tkd grading results 2nite!

communicate..speaking properly...

i guess i shldn't talk abt pple since i dun speak 2 well myself....but i'm gg 2 shoot myself really soon...e current dyad tt i'm transcribing, e guy doesn't speak 2 well & he apparently doesn't hear 2 well either....e whole 10mins o their conversation, they have tonnes o misunderstanding cos they were deciding on which plan 2 use. the guy kept tinking e gal was saying plan b when in actual fact she was saying plan e.....haizzzz....so they keep gg on & on....now i'm wondering if she's saying b or e......& is he saying e or b....or is it d.....shoot......my shoulders' aching.......

Psychology....

Psychology is the science of the mind.
The different disciplines of psychology are extremely wide-ranging. They include:

Clinical psychology
Cognitive psychology: memory
Cognitive psychology: intelligence
Developmental psychology
Evolutionary psychology
Forensic psychology
Health psychology
Neuropsychology
Occupational psychology
Social psychology

What all these different approaches to psychology have in common is a desire to explain the behaviour of individuals based on the workings of the mind. And in every area, psychologists apply scientific methodology. They formulate theories, test hypotheses through observation and experiment, and analyse the findings with statistical techniques that help them identify important findings.
(Quoted fr http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/articles/
psychology/what_is_psychology.shtml)

psychology
noun [U]
the scientific study of the way the human mind works and how it influences behaviour, or the influence of a particular person's character on their behaviour.

psychic (KNOWING)
adjective
having a special mental ability, for example so that you are able to know what will happen in the future or know what people are thinking.

(Quoted fr
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?dict=CALD&key=63866&ph=on)

Was discussing wif my friend aka psy-mate abt psy somehow....we always meet wif a situation when we tell pple tt we study psychology:

Scene 1 Act 1
Stranger or friends or any1 (F): So wat did u study in U??
Me: Psychology

F takes a big step back: so u know wat i'm tinking abt rite now rite????

F wide-eyed....

Me: No i dun...tt's wat a psychic do by e way....

F (evil grin): So wat m i tinking rite now???

F laughs.....

Me as usual roll my eyes trying 2 act as polite as possible....

Me: seriously, i can't read minds. if i cld i wldn't b here.(thinking 2 myself tis must b e ultimate times tt i've came across tis situation....& i'm gg 2 smack e next person who use tt as a pick-up line....)

F: so wat do u study in psychology?? crazy pple?? do u work in a mental hospital?

Me: basically, i do research most o e time. in NUS especially, we focus more on e stats. & i dun work in a mental hospital. tt particular branch of psychology is under abnormal psy or usu pple who study clinical psy in particular.

F: so wat can u do? can u tell wat pple r gg 2 do or tink?

Me rolling my eyes yet again......

Me: Basically we can venture into any areas. I've not specialise in any particular area as yet. I'm still exploring but i'm pretty much interested in forensic psy, bio psy & social psy, in particular personality, at tis moment in time. & i can't tell wat pple r gg 2 do or tink. i presume tt wld b e job o a psychic....a pity but i'm not.

F: so do u c patients who lie on e lounge sofa??? i had a dream last nite, mayb u can decipher it 4 me??

Me rolling my eyes yet again....

Me: Generally tt's a misconception. Psychologist or psychiatrist generally dun c patients tt way. but i can't really give u details on tt since i've never worked in such a setting b4. I believe tt wld b a practise by Freudian followers in e past. & also a general portrayal by movie directors & such. for the part on dream analysis, i've generally not much contact/exposure. i believe it is a freudian kind o stuff. i've limited knowledge in it.

F still in world o his/her own, not hearing e facts/words by Me....

F: so so if i have any problems, like mental problems i can come 2 u rite?? free consultation?? dun charge me la....

Me: Basically i wld b glad 2 lend u my listening ear. but i'm not train in counselling...i can only give u my 2cents worth o advice if i had any...i'm pretty much a nut case myself.....hahaha....& btw, i'm not qualified 2 b a psychologist yet. u need 2 at least possess a masters' or at least have worked 4 a few yrs in order 2 b able 2 do so.....

F: so u do all those social work kind o thing la???

Me: Basically we can venture into that but social work is different fr psychology. Generally i guess it's cos o e lack o psychological positions tt's y a lot o psy graduates go into them. but for social work, i tink u shld do a degree on tt instead o psy if u r really into social work.

F: so u dun do social work or work in mental hospitals??? so wat can u do then??? u can't even tell wat pple r tinking.....

Me: yeah i agree, wat can i do?? i've no idea either....

End of Scene 1 Act 1.

excited....

suddenly feel all excited....mayb it's e coffee tt i juz had....i'm a bit jittery abt tmr's sign lang class.....still comtemplating if i'm gg on 2 e next level....& i'll get my results fr last wk's exam......wed...tkd grading results.....thu new pilates class....must b e coffee...i get hyper whenever i have 2 much coffee.....hyper hyper hyper......feeling my brain go numb again......coffeee...i shld cut down on it......& all e sinful things tt i've bee gorging myself wif.......numb again.....i beta go 've my brain scanned....shld i do a fMRI or CAT scan?? any suggestions?? wat's e diff......

shld i b freee.......

haizzz....life is really a dilemma 4 me....been pretty free 4 e past few weeks cos some o my classes had ended n some had a little break...so i wasn't as packed....i dun really know if i like being slightly more free....

when i was totally packed, everytime i go home, after shower, rest & relax in front o e tv 4 a while, then off i head 2 my bed, n once my head touch e pillow, i'm off 2 lalaland...but now when i'm home early, after shower, rest & relax in front o tv, i'm tired physically, but i juz can't fall asleep...i'll toss & turn in bed tinking abt wat i shld b doing....i know i shld have done e tinking a long time ago....but mayb i've been pushing away 4 2 long but i juz dun 1 2 tink abt it actually.....now when i've e time 2 tink....e more i dun know wat i 1.....haizzz....the classes r starting again & i'll have less time 2 tink again....do i 1 less time 2 tink.....i dun tink so.....

ytd was tinking abt him again cos snow asked me abt him on fri......i can't even remember how he looks like.....i was tinking really really hard how he looks like but i juz cannot remember......i dun even really remember e feelings..... i guess i really have a very bad memory.....

talking abt memory i remember the movie by drew barrymore & adam sandler, 50 1st dates, if i dun have long term memory(LTM), how wld it b like??? wanted to catch e movie by jim carey, endless sunshine of the spotless mind, but never got a chance to.....really a wonder wat our brain does 2 us.....

it's really amazing how our brain functions.....how the neurons r firing non-stop, wif ur every tot every action.....i'm actually comtemplating taking bio-psy instead o social psy rite tis very moment....

actually, i'm actually comtemplating on working on a cruise ship...or go on a trainee programme in USA......have actually found these 2 outlets but there is always a fee & i'm not sure if they r trustworthy...it's not cheap 2 apply 4 visa & such & i need 2 pay e company all e administrative charges & such.....shld i juz b a gd girl n find a proper job......i was tinking o my sf trip....was so free over there.....no1 knows me there was no responsibilty & juz go wherever i 1................haizzzz...digressing again.....better got back 2 transcription....i tink mayb i shld go grab a coffee 1st.......

aching again...

ytd had dragonboat training again after a long break! we had a long break o ard 3 weeks after our race on 19/6. good 2 b back in training again! very fun as usual. was david's bday on last wed so e grp decided 2 play a little prank on him ytd....we took advantage o his deafness & collaborated amongst us 2 try 2 get him 2 stand on e boat & get 1 o e guys 2 push him over into e sea! very mean but it was pretty gd fun!!! hahaha...hopefully when my bday comes along i'll juz skip e training else i get pushed into e sea as well!!!! cross my fingers!!! then jane who was 1 o e those who came up wif playing prank on david, got pushed into e sea by david!!! hahaha..& she has a new technique o climbing onboard, legs 1st!!!!

after tt we went 2 suntec 2 have dinner 2gether...nice indian meal but 2 much food, went home really bloated!!! david got swapped wif cream fr e cake. i was pretty guai so didn't got any revenge fr david....anywayzzz was pretty gd fun ytd!!!

didn't really feel e ache after training but tis morning, when i got up, aching man!!!!i tink i'm getting old.....haizzzz.....

gg crazy....

kind o gg crazy wif e transcriptions.....these new dyad is giving me real problems!!!! they r speaking so softly & i guess the guy has a slightly short tongue or something & he keeps laughing (insincerely...)


have you ever seen or pay close attention 2 how pple laugh or smile....apparently when it's a genuine smile/laugh, it shld b symmetrical....but recently i came across an article which says tt our left & rite face expresses different emotions.....since they display different emotions then it shldn't b symmetric when we laugh rite?? or mayb we do not juz feel a single emotion at any 1 time???? i'm gg 2 do more research on it anywayzzzz. post my research if i manage to get anything done.....


i tink i'm juz so bored in my job tt wat ever little thing i can laugh at it...i've watch e vcd 4 e dyads ultimate times but i still find it funny everytime(almost)...m i gg crazy....mayb i m....tink i cld b falling into e category o bipolar disorder....or is it manic-depressive...wat's e diff between e 2???

i tink i'm seriously gg crazy.....feeling my brain gg numb again.....

wat's up wif relationships....

i know i'm kp but i cannot help but wonder at how feelings 4 pple can change ever so fast.....i was reading a friend's blog & seriously i dun know whether e prank is still on or not.....

ok starting fr e beginning...

my friend & his friend in australia decided 2 play a prank on their mutual friends by announcing on their blogs tt they're a couple & tt they have been keeping it under wraps all these while. as usu mails flooded as every1 tried 2 confirm if they r really an item. so my friend decide 2 tell every1 tt it is a prank! but e gal now says tt she really means it! a prank backfired??? my friend told me tt he actually like another gal whom i know, so in order not 2 let her get e wrong idea, he posted it on e blog tt it was all a joke....but i've been reading his blog, & apparently he has decided 2 test out if he & e gal in australia can work out......he's pretty frickled-minded ain't it??? here he was telling me tt it was a prank & tt he like another gal. i even encouraged him 2 pursue e gal.....now i guess it wld do e gal much better if he cld juz sort out his tots!

Quoting fr The Atomic Princess's blog:
Love & dating...18

There is a certain breed of man that I despise and sympathise with at the same time. The kind who do not know what they want (or don't want), and when pressurized, think they want everything when in truth, they just lacked the guts to say ,'no' or face rejection.

Too many times I've heard girlfriends around me telling me sad stories of how they mustered up courage to initiate a break off, only to be held back by their boyfriends, who will promise to talk it out and make it work. And then, just when they thought miracles may happen, their boyfriends turn around and say, 'I think it's better we just be friends'.

"What the Fuck?"

You guyz have this need to be the knight in shining armour (some more rusty actually), saving us from our distress brought upon by (in many cases) other guyz. But, when YOU are the reason of our distress, we will really appreciate if you do NOT be too kind to us by making us almost believe that 'love does conquer all'. Especially not when there really isn't any real love from your side.

C'mon! Guyz, wimps and jerks out there, get this clear. The fact that we belong to the fairer sex does not coincide with your opinion that we are the weaker sex.

The most unmanly thing a man can do is to give false hopes to the girl that loves him while he takes his own sweet time to sort out what he deserves.

So much time has flew past. If by now you still do not know if you deserve your woman, I say, you probably don't deserve her.

So, let her go. And I say this, meaning to call out whatever little courage you have to have a cool, mature talk with her, tell her in the face that 'it's impossible, we may not even end up as friends, but I want both of us to at least, move on.'

For the things that she has done for you, the time that you have spent together, the laughter you have shared, give her that chance to have a complete closure on you. That's your last act of respect towards someone once so close to you. The easiest break-up to move on from is the kind where both parties agree amicably that you both have to move on, on your own.

And if we do cry even as we agree, please do not freak out and backtrack. To cry is an act of natural grief towards the loss of something we once held so dear.

Let us cry. We will move on easier soon as we finish.

There is more resilience and strength in a woman than men give us credit for.


SNOW:Sort out ur tots here b4 u go over 2 australia!!! u r doing injustice 2 becks!!! & joyce!!!!

how wide-spread is singlish in s'pore uni...

i'm currently doing transcriptions on vcds of students fr ntu during a negotiation task. they were told tt they'll b videotaped & specifically told to use prope english during the negotiation task. U can hardly imagine how many imaginary words were created by them & how many lah loh lehs were used!!! i've a stack o transcription which was done b4 but i'm proofreading them so had to go thro' them.....1 whole stack...every single 1 contains lah, loh, lehs.....i dun know whether it's cos it was juz an expt or cos both parties in e negotiation were s'poreans (so were not but they still used singlish).....i dun know how you can go out n talk 2 pple in formal settings....i guess we always tend 2 use a lang which is familiar 2 e party tt we r speaking 2 so tt we can stand on equal grds....i tend 2 speak a bit o a baby lang when i speak 2 my litle neice & nephew...change 2 singlish/chinese when i'm speaking 2 my close friends....more standard english when i speak 2 pple whose main lang isn't singlish....

but over all it was kind o fun listen 2 how pple communicate using singlish...it really is a unique singapore style! when i was in europe 4 holiday i cld almost immediate pick up a s'porean fr e way they speak! i tink i must also speak like a s'porean cos when i checked in 2 my hostel in berlin, the attendant immediately asked if i was s'porean....r we tt distinct?? we r i tink & it may not sound e most correct, but i guess singlish has bec 2 much o our lives.....again i'm gg 2 b late 4 my tkd class again if i dun hurry up....result o e tkd grading will only b know in 2 wks time....quite anxious 2 know how i fared.....sign lang exam also until next class then will know.....haizzzz.....anyway....getting stiff fr sitting & typing e transcriptions & also writing tis blog....got 2 get off & do some exercising!!!

hip hip hurray!!!!

finally finish both my tkd grading & sign lang exams!!!!whew!!!! everything ran relatively smoothly & i'm really glad everything is over!!!!

took ytd off 2 catch up on my sleep & 2 prepare myself 4 e sign lang exam...really a long long time since i've been able 2 really sit back & relax at home....i slept very early on mon, i tink b4 1 i slept...then i woke up ard 1130 on tue! had my breakfast(brunch), sat ard a little then went 2 read up 4 my sign lang exam.....finish ard 2+ walked ard again....then had a long long shower.....came out, pack my bags, had my lunch/dinner ard 4+, then went 2 e SAD.....had a revision during e class then it was e exams.....e story-signing & e pic took only <5mins then i was done! got home, nothing 2 do...sat ard & ate crab...not very nice but a long time haven tasted it.....sat ard again....suddenly remember need 2 iron my tkd uniform...did e ironing, then sat ard again......1ed 2 sleep early but dun seem 2 b able 2 fall asleep mayb had a bit 2 much.....tossed & turned......zzzzzzzzzzzzz

woke up ard 9 tis morning, i was planning 2 come 2 work early (but wat e hell)....i had a few dreams & i keep reminding myself tt i need 2 go buy 4d...but i didn't.....hopefully e no dun open else i'll b slamp my head on e wall....ok, 2 nos appear in my dreams, 1 is 5173 e other is X933, remember e no when i woke up but now dun recall e 2nd no.....last wk also had a dream, dreamt e no 3021 or 0321 i 4got but i bot 3021, & u know wat? sat 1st prize 4321!!!! misss by juz 1 digit......& some weeks ago 1ed 2 buy 1187 but i 4got & e 3rd prize was 3187,again missed by 1 digit.....shld i go try my luck???? i'll juz need 30mins 2 get 2 & back fr e betting centre......i know i've never been very lucky....shld i give it a try..if i dun i'll b very upset if it opens but if it doesn't i'll have wassted my money & energy....haizzzz......c how la.....if it doesn't rain then i'll mayb go.....

wish me luck!!!! if i win, then i'll b able 2 get away 4 sometime........

losing yourself......

check out this link....quite meaning....

http://www.jknirp.com/mello12.htm

i feel like losing myself.......i seriously have no idea wat i'm trying 2 do & wat i'm tinking o at all.....i've so many tots tt i dun know wat is wat....i cannot concentrate....i cannot function....i do not feel well....i feel i m suffocating.....i juz feel like losing myself fr everything, my responsiblities, my tots, my fears, my everything.......i feel like crying but i dun know wat i shld b crying abt.....my head is juz a numb......i can hardly feel myself living......m i living? do i exist at all.......fears abt everything juz keep creeping up on me....i cannot shake off anything...neither can i feel anything.....i dun 1 2 die but i dun 1 2 live as i m now....but wat m i doing.....i m doing but i m not doing.......wat e fuck m i doing.......wat e hell m i writing......i dun feel broken, neither do i feel whole....do i feel at all.....i seriously doubt tt.....do i feel lonesome....i tink so...but doesn't every1......i feel totally numb rite now....fr head 2 toes.......wat's wrong.....i 1 2 take a long long break....away fr everything, every1.....but can i afford 2.......fears again........wat e fuck m i writing..........................numb..............................................

exams.....

haizzz....tmr have 2 attend a wedding dinner....dun know wat time it'll end...hopefully not 2 late...have tkd grading on sun...a bit stressed abt it....i tink i'll b 1 o e oldest taking white belt grading there.....a bit nervous abt e grading...although e pattern is quite simple, i'm afraid tt i'll freak out when i c so many pple there....long long time never take exams oredi...dun know whether i can take tt kind o stress......

n yes, i've sign lang exam on tue.....STRESSED!!!!!!! i suck at sign lang.....hopefully i dun 4get e 800+ words tt i've learnt so far....i bet i'll 4get more than 1/2 o wat i've learnt......tink i shld take a day off on tue, then have a good sleep b4 i go 4 e exams.....haizzzz........examssssss.....when was e last exam tt i took???? more than a year ago....how time really passes by.....sianzzz man.......

still haven send boss e reports...shld have done tt earlier in e week but still stuck in my computer.....wat m i doing?????????????????

No matter how dark or gloomy e day may be, there'll always been a rainbow somewhere..... 

look at tis result.....

Your Heart is Black


What Color is Your Heart?
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