click on e pic 2 enlarge..
Thursday, June 29, 2006
wat's wrong???
i took a break ytd...hoping 2 recover fr tt irritating strain in my eyes & tt constant dull throbbing headache...& also 2 catch up on sme really needed slp...
i really wonder wat is wrong...e doc said tt it was probably e strain in my eyes tt caused my "muscle tension headache"...he precribed muscle relaxant medication which really knocked me out...& also sme medication 2 aid digestion...i've not been able 2 hold down much food...i get realy hungry but i've no appetite...& after eating, i get really sick...juz felt like throwing up, or it felt like e food was stuck btw my throat & tummy...
haizz...
i really wonder wat is wrong...e doc said tt it was probably e strain in my eyes tt caused my "muscle tension headache"...he precribed muscle relaxant medication which really knocked me out...& also sme medication 2 aid digestion...i've not been able 2 hold down much food...i get realy hungry but i've no appetite...& after eating, i get really sick...juz felt like throwing up, or it felt like e food was stuck btw my throat & tummy...
haizz...
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
red...
my eyes have these red veins all e time...i'm starting 2 get a bit worried...it's been quite sme time oredi, but i dismiss it cos i've been working on e com 4 v long hrs these past few wks...but these few days, i can really hardly open my eyes w/o feeling pain in them in e morn...tt day i had a really bad headache & i went 2 e doc... e 1st thign tt e doc noticed were my eyes...i started 2 b more conscious of them & i'm beginning 2 worry....
Monday, June 26, 2006
胡姬花。。。
坐在外面。。。看着那胡姬花。。。好漂亮。。。阿婆种了好多东西。。。她走了谁来照顾呢？？？家里的东西怎么办？？？想起公公和干妈。。。他们的东西怎么了？？？
突然想起妈妈。。。如果有一天她走了怎么办呢？？？马上把这想法忘了。。。人就是这样吧？？？可能是我吧。。。不想想不好的东西。。。
大舅安好了阿婆，走出来。。。拿起了水喉，浇起了花。。。会有人想起阿婆做的事吧。。。
每个人都有不一样的反应。。。
我想dear和阿姨比较感性吧。。。
阿姨从我看到她到最后一天她一直忙东忙西。。。应该是想让自己尽一点最后孝心送给阿婆。。。阿婆走了。。。她应该是最寂寞的。。。阿婆应该最不放心她。。。每个人都有另一半安慰。。。她只能安慰自己。。。每个人都觉得她做得太多。。。可能这就是安抚自己的最佳办法。。。大家的脾气都不是很好。。。熬太多夜了吧。。。不过最后大家还是一家人。。。
dear也是一样。。。我知道他很想做多一点，让阿婆感受到最后的一点孝心。。。dear，阿婆知道的。。。
突然想起妈妈。。。如果有一天她走了怎么办呢？？？马上把这想法忘了。。。人就是这样吧？？？可能是我吧。。。不想想不好的东西。。。
大舅安好了阿婆，走出来。。。拿起了水喉，浇起了花。。。会有人想起阿婆做的事吧。。。
每个人都有不一样的反应。。。
我想dear和阿姨比较感性吧。。。
阿姨从我看到她到最后一天她一直忙东忙西。。。应该是想让自己尽一点最后孝心送给阿婆。。。阿婆走了。。。她应该是最寂寞的。。。阿婆应该最不放心她。。。每个人都有另一半安慰。。。她只能安慰自己。。。每个人都觉得她做得太多。。。可能这就是安抚自己的最佳办法。。。大家的脾气都不是很好。。。熬太多夜了吧。。。不过最后大家还是一家人。。。
dear也是一样。。。我知道他很想做多一点，让阿婆感受到最后的一点孝心。。。dear，阿婆知道的。。。
smetimes...
smetimes i really wonder...he believes things tt i dun...mayb i'm overly sceptical...i dunno...smetimes i feel tt it wld b beta if we believe in e same things...
smetimes i cant help but tink tt he's juz 2 young...2 young 4 many things...he tinks he's mature enough...but i dun agree...but i dun say it in his face...but i guess my face showed it all...
smetimes when i juz 1 him 2 b more aware o how i feel...even though i dun understd myself tt much...smetimes i juz wish he cld say smething more den wat he did...smetimes i juz wish tt he cld shut up...when he does...i wonder y he kps 2 himself & not care abt me more...
smetimes he say things which i feel he isnt putting his heart in...he's juz saying 4 e sack o saying...pls dun...i can feel it...
smetimes he juz dun understd my mood...y i cry..y i ignore him...smetimes i wish he cld juz know w/o having me 2 say everything...
smetimes i wish u dun juz ask me how i m 2day....smetimes i wish u dun ask me if i've anything 2 say 2 u...smetimes i wish u dun ask me if anything is wrong...cos e ans is so obvious...
smetimes i wish i wasnt so rash...
smetimes....
smetimes i cant help but tink tt he's juz 2 young...2 young 4 many things...he tinks he's mature enough...but i dun agree...but i dun say it in his face...but i guess my face showed it all...
smetimes when i juz 1 him 2 b more aware o how i feel...even though i dun understd myself tt much...smetimes i juz wish he cld say smething more den wat he did...smetimes i juz wish tt he cld shut up...when he does...i wonder y he kps 2 himself & not care abt me more...
smetimes he say things which i feel he isnt putting his heart in...he's juz saying 4 e sack o saying...pls dun...i can feel it...
smetimes he juz dun understd my mood...y i cry..y i ignore him...smetimes i wish he cld juz know w/o having me 2 say everything...
smetimes i wish u dun juz ask me how i m 2day....smetimes i wish u dun ask me if i've anything 2 say 2 u...smetimes i wish u dun ask me if anything is wrong...cos e ans is so obvious...
smetimes i wish i wasnt so rash...
smetimes....
i look ugly...
it's amazing tt pple actually noticed tt i'm in e show!! haha...u'll c me again in e same show on wed...i'm sitted at e same place in e boat again!! haha...e person tt they interviewed is not part o our team, but his members were not avail tt day so he came 2 row wif us...we r trying 2 c if we can team our deaf and e visually handicapped together as a team...tt'll b interesting..
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
bye bye...
真的是太巧了。。。可能就是要他回去看她最后一面吧。。。
刚买不到一星期、穿不到3次，鞋就坏了。。。他不得得回去换。。。
他应该很难过吧。。。我仿佛 在他的简讯里听到他哽咽的声音。。。我很想在他身边。。。我知道他一定是一副大哥哥的模样到处安慰其他的人。。。
她走了。。。放下痛苦了吧。。。希望她到极乐世界。。。不必担心。。。安息。。。再见啊婆。。
刚买不到一星期、穿不到3次，鞋就坏了。。。他不得得回去换。。。
他应该很难过吧。。。我仿佛 在他的简讯里听到他哽咽的声音。。。我很想在他身边。。。我知道他一定是一副大哥哥的模样到处安慰其他的人。。。
她走了。。。放下痛苦了吧。。。希望她到极乐世界。。。不必担心。。。安息。。。再见啊婆。。
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
argh...
wat m i doing in office now??? i'm officially off work at 530...but i'm still working...cos i nd 2 rush a report out tis thu...& i've not finished...argh...& i dun tink i can finish in time...argh...
& wat m i doing blogging instead o analysing??? cos my mind's a blank...argh....
i overslpt tis morn....i woke up at 730...tt was e time i was supposed 2 've left my home in order 2 b on time 4 work...argh...i called in late....intending 2 juz take 1 hr off, but i cld claim time-off 4 e wed cos i've 2 attend e interviewer trg 4 my pri study...
& e thing tt sucks e most is tt, after doing all e hard work...i dun get 2 go 4 e presentation in UK...argh....unjust i can say....but wat can i do??? we r VWOs (Voluntary Welfare Organisations)...we r NGOs (Non-Profit Organisations)....so we cannot afford 2 send every1 over...damned....& cos i'm not e principal investigator....i dun get 2 go....but wat i can say is tt w/o e analysis part e presentation wld b nth...
4 pple r scheduled 2 go....e other project which was accepted at e conference (2 presentors cos 1 o them happened 2 b pregnant & she might not go so her RA was put on e list...); my boss; & e current project's presentor....
haizzz....i m v disappointed...i was so hopefully tt i wld get 2 go....but all is dashed...haizzzz....
i tolf HN abt it...he said i shld 've "zheng qu"....but how???? it's not tt i dun 1...but how....
my boss said tt i shld let pple know my feelings...tt i shldnt hide my feelings, tt i shldnt juz shoulder e burden alone....but wat can b done even if i cry & make a big fuss???since nth can b done shldnt i juz take it???haizzz......
no doubt i'm sad....no doubt tt i cry...but wat can i do???
& wat m i doing blogging instead o analysing??? cos my mind's a blank...argh....
i overslpt tis morn....i woke up at 730...tt was e time i was supposed 2 've left my home in order 2 b on time 4 work...argh...i called in late....intending 2 juz take 1 hr off, but i cld claim time-off 4 e wed cos i've 2 attend e interviewer trg 4 my pri study...
& e thing tt sucks e most is tt, after doing all e hard work...i dun get 2 go 4 e presentation in UK...argh....unjust i can say....but wat can i do??? we r VWOs (Voluntary Welfare Organisations)...we r NGOs (Non-Profit Organisations)....so we cannot afford 2 send every1 over...damned....& cos i'm not e principal investigator....i dun get 2 go....but wat i can say is tt w/o e analysis part e presentation wld b nth...
4 pple r scheduled 2 go....e other project which was accepted at e conference (2 presentors cos 1 o them happened 2 b pregnant & she might not go so her RA was put on e list...); my boss; & e current project's presentor....
haizzz....i m v disappointed...i was so hopefully tt i wld get 2 go....but all is dashed...haizzzz....
i tolf HN abt it...he said i shld 've "zheng qu"....but how???? it's not tt i dun 1...but how....
my boss said tt i shld let pple know my feelings...tt i shldnt hide my feelings, tt i shldnt juz shoulder e burden alone....but wat can b done even if i cry & make a big fuss???since nth can b done shldnt i juz take it???haizzz......
no doubt i'm sad....no doubt tt i cry...but wat can i do???
Monday, May 22, 2006
STI Home > Think > Story > Print
>> Back to the article
May 21, 2006
Understanding mums and daughters
By Deborah Tannen
WASHINGTON
WHEN my mother was 92, and it was clear that her end was nearing, one of my sisters asked if I felt I had settled emotional accounts with her.
'Yes,' I said. 'I think the love and attention I've showered on her these last 10 years have made up for the suffering I caused her when I was younger.'
My sister asked: 'What about the suffering she caused you?'
This caught me off guard. I'd forgotten all that. My relationship with my mother had been more tumultuous than my two sisters'.
As the youngest, I did more to defy and frighten her: In high school I dressed in my father's shirts. I ran barefoot around Greenwich Village and stayed out late. (We were just listening to folk music in cafes, but she thought we were having sex.)
The distress I caused her didn't end when I outgrew my teens. It increased, because I was unmarried for many of my adult years.
My sisters married at 19 and 20; I didn't follow suit until I was 23. My sisters and I divorced at about the same time (her worst nightmare come true), but they found new partners before long, while it was 11 years before I found mine.
That, together with the three years between college and my first marriage, gave my mother 14 years of sleepless nights - and me 14 years of arguments.
It wasn't that I never felt unhappy about being single. But my mother's concern made things worse. Once, after she and my father visited me in Washington, I walked them to their car and waved as it receded down the street. When they got home, she called to tell me not that she'd enjoyed the visit, but that it broke her heart to see me standing alone as they drove away.
I, too, had had a fleeting sense of sadness but that wasn't the only feeling I had. I loved my house; I loved everything about the life I led as a professor. My mother's remark implied marriage trumped all. It seemed to dismiss everything I'd accomplished, reframing my life as pitiable.
By a strange alchemy, my small sadness became her big misery, which became my anguish and then my anger. Many daughters, not wanting to worry their mothers, refrain from telling them about problems. It's a natural reaction, but one that can cause mothers another kind of grief.
Many women assume being close means talking about what's going on in their lives, including personal problems. So a mother who learns her daughter was going through a tough time and hasn't told her may feel hurt.
Both comfort and conflict result from a mother's desire to see all go well for her daughter, and a daughter's desire to feel that her mother approves of her life.
Figuring this out helped me understand my mother, and understanding softened my resentment.
I always found it creepy she wanted my company so badly, wanted to know my secrets. I recall thinking: 'She treats me more like a lover than a daughter!'
But during those last years, I began treating her like a lover: I sent her flowers, gifts and affectionate notes, and I helped with her physical care.
The waves of love these gestures engendered made me understand the relationship between mother and daughter entails a level of passion that has much in common with romantic love.
One night, helping my mother get ready for bed, I prepared the container of water in which she placed her teeth, then handed her a warm wet washcloth as I'd done many times before.
But this time, she didn't hand back the cloth quickly after wiping her face. Instead, she held it to her eyes, and I realised she was crying. 'A daughter shouldn't see her mother like this,' she said.
But I said, and I meant it, 'I've seen you without teeth many times; it makes me feel closer to you that you trust me that much.'
I'm grateful that my mother lived long enough to give us that moment. And I'm grateful that Mother's Day doesn't only remind me she's gone; it also brings her back. -- New York Times
Deborah Tannen, a professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, is the author, most recently, of You're Wearing That? Understanding Mothers And Daughters In Conversation.
>> Back to the article
May 21, 2006
Understanding mums and daughters
By Deborah Tannen
WASHINGTON
WHEN my mother was 92, and it was clear that her end was nearing, one of my sisters asked if I felt I had settled emotional accounts with her.
'Yes,' I said. 'I think the love and attention I've showered on her these last 10 years have made up for the suffering I caused her when I was younger.'
My sister asked: 'What about the suffering she caused you?'
This caught me off guard. I'd forgotten all that. My relationship with my mother had been more tumultuous than my two sisters'.
As the youngest, I did more to defy and frighten her: In high school I dressed in my father's shirts. I ran barefoot around Greenwich Village and stayed out late. (We were just listening to folk music in cafes, but she thought we were having sex.)
The distress I caused her didn't end when I outgrew my teens. It increased, because I was unmarried for many of my adult years.
My sisters married at 19 and 20; I didn't follow suit until I was 23. My sisters and I divorced at about the same time (her worst nightmare come true), but they found new partners before long, while it was 11 years before I found mine.
That, together with the three years between college and my first marriage, gave my mother 14 years of sleepless nights - and me 14 years of arguments.
It wasn't that I never felt unhappy about being single. But my mother's concern made things worse. Once, after she and my father visited me in Washington, I walked them to their car and waved as it receded down the street. When they got home, she called to tell me not that she'd enjoyed the visit, but that it broke her heart to see me standing alone as they drove away.
I, too, had had a fleeting sense of sadness but that wasn't the only feeling I had. I loved my house; I loved everything about the life I led as a professor. My mother's remark implied marriage trumped all. It seemed to dismiss everything I'd accomplished, reframing my life as pitiable.
By a strange alchemy, my small sadness became her big misery, which became my anguish and then my anger. Many daughters, not wanting to worry their mothers, refrain from telling them about problems. It's a natural reaction, but one that can cause mothers another kind of grief.
Many women assume being close means talking about what's going on in their lives, including personal problems. So a mother who learns her daughter was going through a tough time and hasn't told her may feel hurt.
Both comfort and conflict result from a mother's desire to see all go well for her daughter, and a daughter's desire to feel that her mother approves of her life.
Figuring this out helped me understand my mother, and understanding softened my resentment.
I always found it creepy she wanted my company so badly, wanted to know my secrets. I recall thinking: 'She treats me more like a lover than a daughter!'
But during those last years, I began treating her like a lover: I sent her flowers, gifts and affectionate notes, and I helped with her physical care.
The waves of love these gestures engendered made me understand the relationship between mother and daughter entails a level of passion that has much in common with romantic love.
One night, helping my mother get ready for bed, I prepared the container of water in which she placed her teeth, then handed her a warm wet washcloth as I'd done many times before.
But this time, she didn't hand back the cloth quickly after wiping her face. Instead, she held it to her eyes, and I realised she was crying. 'A daughter shouldn't see her mother like this,' she said.
But I said, and I meant it, 'I've seen you without teeth many times; it makes me feel closer to you that you trust me that much.'
I'm grateful that my mother lived long enough to give us that moment. And I'm grateful that Mother's Day doesn't only remind me she's gone; it also brings her back. -- New York Times
Deborah Tannen, a professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, is the author, most recently, of You're Wearing That? Understanding Mothers And Daughters In Conversation.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
10km race...
i tink we r only in our 1st lap...we look a bit shack isnt it?? haha...but we made it in e end...=) cheers....
krabi pics...
beautiful lionfish...there were so many lionfishes in phi phi....
v beautiful nudibranch tt dear took...
finally i did my 1st outdoor climb @ Railey....e highest tt i scaled was 30m...scary but it was really adrenaline pumping...=)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
1 mth...
it's been a mth...i haven even e time 2 read pple's blogs much less blog my own...
e past mth flew past...planning 4 e perhentian trip...10km row...gg on e trip..moving office..mtgs & more mtgs...data & more data 2 analyse..
i was still slacking in e mid-apr...den everything juz came...
i had a wonderful time at perhentian...not world-class resort but it cld do..
no whale-shark...but razor fishes & shrimps & baby cuttlefish...
& e many many shooting stars...
& o cos e company...
didnt dive v well tis time rd...not sure y...
1ed 2 blog more...but my brain's frozen in tis new off...
e past mth flew past...planning 4 e perhentian trip...10km row...gg on e trip..moving office..mtgs & more mtgs...data & more data 2 analyse..
i was still slacking in e mid-apr...den everything juz came...
i had a wonderful time at perhentian...not world-class resort but it cld do..
no whale-shark...but razor fishes & shrimps & baby cuttlefish...
& e many many shooting stars...
& o cos e company...
didnt dive v well tis time rd...not sure y...
1ed 2 blog more...but my brain's frozen in tis new off...
Monday, April 17, 2006
dreaming o Death...
Death...
If you dreamed of being dead yourself, it indicates an approaching release from all your worries and/or a recovery from illness. If you spoke with someone who is dead, you could soon hear very good news. To dream of a death often signifies news of a birth. To be aware of a dead person you cannot identify portends an inheritance which may not be personal but could be indirectly beneficial.
Funeral...
A dream of contrary; the meaning is the opposite of what you might think. To see or attend a funeral in your dream signifies cause for a happy celebration, such as news of an engagement or wedding; to dream of attending your own funeral indicates a relief from worry.
Casket...
Sadness (but not grief) may be expected following a dream of a casket containing a body. But if the body was your own, the dream indicates good luck ahead. An empty casket signifies a lost friend, but not necessarily through death.
Cupboard...
A straightforward symbol that means what it says. If your dream cupboard was bare, it predicts lean times in the offing; if it was full or reasonably well-stocked, you can expect your interests to flourish. If your dream involved putting supplies in a cupboard, it signifies recovery of losses through your own efforts.
Insects...
An obstacle dream. If you succeeded in killing them or otherwise getting rid of them, or if they didn't annoy you, it signifies that your difficulties will be easier to overcome than you anticipate.
Worms...
To use them as bait predicts a sudden material gain; otherwise, they signify news of an illness, unless you killed them, in which case the dream is a forecast of successful efforts.
Bugs...
A warning against unfortunate influences around you, unless you succeeded in driving the bugs off or getting rid of them in some way, in which case it signifies imminent money luck.
Lizard...
This reptile in a dream is a warning that you have false friends in your close circle. A dead lizard signifies a successful battle to protect your reputation. Shoes, bags or other items made of lizard skin predict an increase in income.
Toilet...
To dream of going to the toilet yourself is a sign of litigation over money or property; if you dreamed of someone else going, you are likely to be surprised by a request for a loan.
http://www.glamour.com/dreamdictionary
If you dreamed of being dead yourself, it indicates an approaching release from all your worries and/or a recovery from illness. If you spoke with someone who is dead, you could soon hear very good news. To dream of a death often signifies news of a birth. To be aware of a dead person you cannot identify portends an inheritance which may not be personal but could be indirectly beneficial.
Funeral...
A dream of contrary; the meaning is the opposite of what you might think. To see or attend a funeral in your dream signifies cause for a happy celebration, such as news of an engagement or wedding; to dream of attending your own funeral indicates a relief from worry.
Casket...
Sadness (but not grief) may be expected following a dream of a casket containing a body. But if the body was your own, the dream indicates good luck ahead. An empty casket signifies a lost friend, but not necessarily through death.
Cupboard...
A straightforward symbol that means what it says. If your dream cupboard was bare, it predicts lean times in the offing; if it was full or reasonably well-stocked, you can expect your interests to flourish. If your dream involved putting supplies in a cupboard, it signifies recovery of losses through your own efforts.
Insects...
An obstacle dream. If you succeeded in killing them or otherwise getting rid of them, or if they didn't annoy you, it signifies that your difficulties will be easier to overcome than you anticipate.
Worms...
To use them as bait predicts a sudden material gain; otherwise, they signify news of an illness, unless you killed them, in which case the dream is a forecast of successful efforts.
Bugs...
A warning against unfortunate influences around you, unless you succeeded in driving the bugs off or getting rid of them in some way, in which case it signifies imminent money luck.
Lizard...
This reptile in a dream is a warning that you have false friends in your close circle. A dead lizard signifies a successful battle to protect your reputation. Shoes, bags or other items made of lizard skin predict an increase in income.
Toilet...
To dream of going to the toilet yourself is a sign of litigation over money or property; if you dreamed of someone else going, you are likely to be surprised by a request for a loan.
http://www.glamour.com/dreamdictionary
Friday, April 14, 2006
pouring...
oh dear...it's pouring...hope it's not like tt in m'sia...e gals r on a cycling trip...hope they're ok!!!
jia u...yao dao le....
jia u...yao dao le....
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