ST May 31, 2005
BANGLADESH TRIAL SHOCK
Surprised judge frees boy, 2, accused of adultery and theft
BOGRA (BANGLADESH) - A COURT in the northern Bangladeshi city of Bogra has acquitted a two-year-old child accused of adultery and theft, officials told the BBC.
The infant appeared in court on his mother's lap to seek bail.
Saiful Islam was accused along with six others in the case. The magistrate expressed 'surprise' at the charges and immediately released him.
He also ordered the complainant in the case to explain why he filed such charges against a toddler.
Magistrate Naveed Shafiullah told local politician Yunus Ali - who launched a preliminary investigation into the case - to explain how the incident happened.
A report in the Daily Star newspaper said that the charges against the child and the others were filed by Mr Jahangir Alam on Feb 9.
He alleged that Saiful Islam, other family members and his neighbours were all complicit in stealing gold ornaments and clothes worth between US$47 (S$78) and US$204 from his house.
Mr Alam also alleged that the named parties lured away his wife, Ms Mabia Khatun, to marry another man even though she was not properly divorced.
Ms Khatun is Saiful Islam's sister-in-law.
The case is not the first in Bangladesh to involve infants facing serious charges.
In March, Bangladesh's High Court stepped in to halt the trial of four infants - all members of an extended family - who were accused of looting and causing criminal damage. Four police officers were suspended for negligence in the case.
The infants, aged between three months and two years, appeared in court in their parents' arms and received bail.
Correspondents say the case highlighted the widespread practice of harassing people by filing false complaints.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
This hotline is really HOT
ST May 29, 2005
This hotline is really HOT
400,000 people have called sultry Nikki - and got more than what they bargained for
By Jeremy Au Yong
NIKKI, a voluptuous brunette with a sexy voice, receives about three calls to her hotline every minute.
'You like my voice?' she asks her callers, 'Do you think it's...sexy?'
Many men apparently do. Since the hotline was started in February, there have been nearly 400,000 calls.
Is she the world's busiest phone sex worker?
No, Nikki is a character created for the latest Aids awareness campaign from Action For Aids (AFA).
AFA placed ads in bus stops, coffee shops and the classified pages of various newspapers tempting people with sexy pictures and slogans like 'you'll call again and again' or 'want to know me?' There were even little stickers in public toilets that read: 'Very sexy girl, Want XXX, 6333-1411.'
Similar ads were made for their Mandarin hotline 6333-1211.
Those who called were greeted by sultry-sounding Nikki, who said she wanted to meet them and be their friend. But before she did, she wanted to know if they would wear a condom.
Depending on the choice made, callers would be either praised or reprimanded. Either way, the call ends with a serious message: 'Aids kills. Protect yourself. Use a condom.'
Said AFA executive director Paul Toh: 'We wanted something different. We thought about why some of the past campaigns didn't work. Fear didn't work. Boring messages didn't work.'
To come up with an effective concept, AFA worked with advertising agency Foote Cone & Belding, which engaged a model for the pictures and a voice actress to be Nikki. AFA would have been happy with 3,000 calls - no one expected this kind of response.
Said Mr Toh: 'Such good campaigns come along only once in a while. We want to see what kind of mileage we can get from it.'
The two Nikkis are not available for interviews because AFA said it does not want the models to distract people from the message.
The original campaign was due to run only till the end of last month. Now it is being extended to October and eight phone lines have been added to the initial two to handle the volume of calls.
This is not the first time an AFA ad has raised eyebrows. In 1991, it released print ads that featured pictures of condoms with slogans like 'cover your lover' and 'it can make any man more attractive'. The following year it launched a campaign along the same vein, showing a male model in big rubber Phua Chu Kang boots and the slogan 'Boys always look better in rubber'.
Its bold ads have got people talking, particularly the latest ads with Nikki.
Said Mr Zachary Sze-To, 29, an IT consultant who called the hotline out of curiosity: 'It's a very interesting way to deliver a message. I actually called back to find out what happened if I chose 'No'.'
But Mr David Lee, 22, a student at the National University of Singapore, questioned whether it has reached its intended audience. He said: 'Someone who is really looking for Nikki might get angry and put down the phone before hearing the message.'
Sociologist Tan Ern Ser thinks most callers would get the message, regardless of why they called. 'Since they have gone through the trouble of calling in, with certain expectations, I believe they will linger a little longer and in the process unknowingly become a captive audience.'
A HIV patient, who wanted to be known only as Anthony, also gave Nikki the thumbs-up: 'It's certainly different from normal Aids awareness messages. It brings home the fact that Aids can happen to anyone, even someone as beautiful as Nikki.'
This hotline is really HOT
400,000 people have called sultry Nikki - and got more than what they bargained for
By Jeremy Au Yong
NIKKI, a voluptuous brunette with a sexy voice, receives about three calls to her hotline every minute.
'You like my voice?' she asks her callers, 'Do you think it's...sexy?'
Many men apparently do. Since the hotline was started in February, there have been nearly 400,000 calls.
Is she the world's busiest phone sex worker?
No, Nikki is a character created for the latest Aids awareness campaign from Action For Aids (AFA).
AFA placed ads in bus stops, coffee shops and the classified pages of various newspapers tempting people with sexy pictures and slogans like 'you'll call again and again' or 'want to know me?' There were even little stickers in public toilets that read: 'Very sexy girl, Want XXX, 6333-1411.'
Similar ads were made for their Mandarin hotline 6333-1211.
Those who called were greeted by sultry-sounding Nikki, who said she wanted to meet them and be their friend. But before she did, she wanted to know if they would wear a condom.
Depending on the choice made, callers would be either praised or reprimanded. Either way, the call ends with a serious message: 'Aids kills. Protect yourself. Use a condom.'
Said AFA executive director Paul Toh: 'We wanted something different. We thought about why some of the past campaigns didn't work. Fear didn't work. Boring messages didn't work.'
To come up with an effective concept, AFA worked with advertising agency Foote Cone & Belding, which engaged a model for the pictures and a voice actress to be Nikki. AFA would have been happy with 3,000 calls - no one expected this kind of response.
Said Mr Toh: 'Such good campaigns come along only once in a while. We want to see what kind of mileage we can get from it.'
The two Nikkis are not available for interviews because AFA said it does not want the models to distract people from the message.
The original campaign was due to run only till the end of last month. Now it is being extended to October and eight phone lines have been added to the initial two to handle the volume of calls.
This is not the first time an AFA ad has raised eyebrows. In 1991, it released print ads that featured pictures of condoms with slogans like 'cover your lover' and 'it can make any man more attractive'. The following year it launched a campaign along the same vein, showing a male model in big rubber Phua Chu Kang boots and the slogan 'Boys always look better in rubber'.
Its bold ads have got people talking, particularly the latest ads with Nikki.
Said Mr Zachary Sze-To, 29, an IT consultant who called the hotline out of curiosity: 'It's a very interesting way to deliver a message. I actually called back to find out what happened if I chose 'No'.'
But Mr David Lee, 22, a student at the National University of Singapore, questioned whether it has reached its intended audience. He said: 'Someone who is really looking for Nikki might get angry and put down the phone before hearing the message.'
Sociologist Tan Ern Ser thinks most callers would get the message, regardless of why they called. 'Since they have gone through the trouble of calling in, with certain expectations, I believe they will linger a little longer and in the process unknowingly become a captive audience.'
A HIV patient, who wanted to be known only as Anthony, also gave Nikki the thumbs-up: 'It's certainly different from normal Aids awareness messages. It brings home the fact that Aids can happen to anyone, even someone as beautiful as Nikki.'
Shock would-be child sex tourists into saying 'no'
2005.05.28 ST
Shock would-be child sex tourists into saying 'no'
By Susan Long
WOULD it have made any difference to Darwis Rianto Lim if he had passed posters of dolls with bleeding genitals, warning against child sex tourism, as he sauntered towards his departure gate in Singapore?
Would the polytechnic lecturer - caught in a Bangkok hotel last month by Thai undercover cops after he allegedly posted messages on the Internet offering US$200 (S$329) for sex with a boy aged 12 to 16 - have looked away sheepishly? Or quickened his pace and walked on by?
When it comes to measures to curb child sex tourism, something heartening has emerged this past month.
Gone is Singapore's stock - and many say smug - insistence that child sex and human trafficking are 'not a problem' here.
For a while now, the authorities have strenuously maintained that, unlike in neighbouring countries, there is 'no evidence' of child prostitution or women being forced into the sex trade in Singapore.
As if, if it happens anywhere but here, then the problem is not really our problem. It's someone else's problem - for them, not us - to deal with. Or maybe it's just a problem with semantics and the popular understanding of 'trafficking'.
Last August, on that basis, the Government challenged a United States State Department report, which stated Singapore had a 'significant trafficking problem'.
Of late, in a helpful shift from the former denial stance, Singapore has joined ranks with Asean officials to craft an Asean Travellers' Code to fight child sex tourism in the region.
In another about-turn, just days after Senior Minister of State (Law and Home Affairs) Ho Peng Kee stressed the practical difficulties of extending jurisdiction against child sex overseas, the Home Affairs Ministry announced it was studying the feasibility of such a law.
Meanwhile, a recent Johns Hopkins University study surfaced that an estimated 600 Singaporean men go to Batam each weekend for sex with girls as young as 14.
Singaporeans now make up the largest number of sex tourists on Indonesia's Riau Islands and - sharing the 'honour' with Malaysians - in southern Thailand too.
According to Ms Saleemah Ismail of Unifem Singapore: 'These men travel there because it is cheaper than Singapore. For $50, a man can engage a sex worker's services for 24 hours, with no limit to the number of sexual acts.'
Indeed, a 48-year-old Singaporean hawker, fresh from a weekend Batam trip, raved: 'Not only are they young, but they are also eager to please and easy to please. Unlike Singapore women who want the sky and the moon, these Batam girls will treat you like a king.'
But Ms Saleemah estimates that one-third of Batam's sex workers are below 18, with some as young as 12.
'A growing number of children enter prostitution to help their families. Child prostitutes can earn 10 to 20 times more than what an unskilled factory worker earns,' she observed.
While Unifem used to focus on rehabilitating exploited women in Batam's sex trade, it is now trying to stem the demand from Singaporeans by appealing to the public to report those who engage in child prostitution to the police or Unifem (Tel: 6238-6761).
According to the Johns Hopkins report, most Singaporeans are 'situational' - rather than 'preferential' - sex tourists.
Unlike preferential sex tourists, situational ones do not deliberately travel to poor countries to buy child sex.
But when presented with the opportunity while travelling, most think 'Why not?' and consider sex a 'fun parenthesis' to their trip.
Most have elaborate justifications for their behaviour - that holiday sex is not an exploitative practice, that women and children in the sex industry 'chose it for themselves' and that they are just 'helping' ease the victims out of poverty.
According to a report by non-governmental organisation Ecpat (short for End Child Prostitution, Child Pornography and Trafficking of Children for Sexual Purposes), these disturbing views stem from racism and 'strong views about the inferiority of people other than their own, with no scruples about exploiting other persons as long as they consider them to be inferior'.
One common rationalisation here is that moves to curb demand from Singapore will probably continue to be hampered by poverty and corruption in the destination countries.
Yes, the root causes of child sex tourism, such as lack of education and unemployment, need to be addressed first.
And yes, destination countries need to shape up.
But their lack of action is no excuse for ours.
Countries of origin like Singapore must do more to issue stern warnings about the legal and health risks of having sex with minors abroad and rope in everyone - from airlines to airports, tour operators to travel agencies, customs officials to civic groups - in its campaign.
For example, since 1993, travel agencies in France have been sticking leaflets in their customers' tickets warning them against child prostitution.
Last year, the Brazilian government began awarding hotels which actively discourage child sex on their premises an extra star in their quality rating.
Will such efforts be enough to make Singapore's 'preferential' sex tourists and paedophiles turn back?
Probably not. But it could make a difference to 'situational' sex tourists.
Grave warnings on immigration forms and at immigration checkpoints - plus the open admission that we have a problem - could turn their still-too-casual 'Why not?' into a more considered 'Better not'.
The writer is editor of the Saturday Special Report.
E-mail: suelong@sph.com.sg
Shock would-be child sex tourists into saying 'no'
By Susan Long
WOULD it have made any difference to Darwis Rianto Lim if he had passed posters of dolls with bleeding genitals, warning against child sex tourism, as he sauntered towards his departure gate in Singapore?
Would the polytechnic lecturer - caught in a Bangkok hotel last month by Thai undercover cops after he allegedly posted messages on the Internet offering US$200 (S$329) for sex with a boy aged 12 to 16 - have looked away sheepishly? Or quickened his pace and walked on by?
When it comes to measures to curb child sex tourism, something heartening has emerged this past month.
Gone is Singapore's stock - and many say smug - insistence that child sex and human trafficking are 'not a problem' here.
For a while now, the authorities have strenuously maintained that, unlike in neighbouring countries, there is 'no evidence' of child prostitution or women being forced into the sex trade in Singapore.
As if, if it happens anywhere but here, then the problem is not really our problem. It's someone else's problem - for them, not us - to deal with. Or maybe it's just a problem with semantics and the popular understanding of 'trafficking'.
Last August, on that basis, the Government challenged a United States State Department report, which stated Singapore had a 'significant trafficking problem'.
Of late, in a helpful shift from the former denial stance, Singapore has joined ranks with Asean officials to craft an Asean Travellers' Code to fight child sex tourism in the region.
In another about-turn, just days after Senior Minister of State (Law and Home Affairs) Ho Peng Kee stressed the practical difficulties of extending jurisdiction against child sex overseas, the Home Affairs Ministry announced it was studying the feasibility of such a law.
Meanwhile, a recent Johns Hopkins University study surfaced that an estimated 600 Singaporean men go to Batam each weekend for sex with girls as young as 14.
Singaporeans now make up the largest number of sex tourists on Indonesia's Riau Islands and - sharing the 'honour' with Malaysians - in southern Thailand too.
According to Ms Saleemah Ismail of Unifem Singapore: 'These men travel there because it is cheaper than Singapore. For $50, a man can engage a sex worker's services for 24 hours, with no limit to the number of sexual acts.'
Indeed, a 48-year-old Singaporean hawker, fresh from a weekend Batam trip, raved: 'Not only are they young, but they are also eager to please and easy to please. Unlike Singapore women who want the sky and the moon, these Batam girls will treat you like a king.'
But Ms Saleemah estimates that one-third of Batam's sex workers are below 18, with some as young as 12.
'A growing number of children enter prostitution to help their families. Child prostitutes can earn 10 to 20 times more than what an unskilled factory worker earns,' she observed.
While Unifem used to focus on rehabilitating exploited women in Batam's sex trade, it is now trying to stem the demand from Singaporeans by appealing to the public to report those who engage in child prostitution to the police or Unifem (Tel: 6238-6761).
According to the Johns Hopkins report, most Singaporeans are 'situational' - rather than 'preferential' - sex tourists.
Unlike preferential sex tourists, situational ones do not deliberately travel to poor countries to buy child sex.
But when presented with the opportunity while travelling, most think 'Why not?' and consider sex a 'fun parenthesis' to their trip.
Most have elaborate justifications for their behaviour - that holiday sex is not an exploitative practice, that women and children in the sex industry 'chose it for themselves' and that they are just 'helping' ease the victims out of poverty.
According to a report by non-governmental organisation Ecpat (short for End Child Prostitution, Child Pornography and Trafficking of Children for Sexual Purposes), these disturbing views stem from racism and 'strong views about the inferiority of people other than their own, with no scruples about exploiting other persons as long as they consider them to be inferior'.
One common rationalisation here is that moves to curb demand from Singapore will probably continue to be hampered by poverty and corruption in the destination countries.
Yes, the root causes of child sex tourism, such as lack of education and unemployment, need to be addressed first.
And yes, destination countries need to shape up.
But their lack of action is no excuse for ours.
Countries of origin like Singapore must do more to issue stern warnings about the legal and health risks of having sex with minors abroad and rope in everyone - from airlines to airports, tour operators to travel agencies, customs officials to civic groups - in its campaign.
For example, since 1993, travel agencies in France have been sticking leaflets in their customers' tickets warning them against child prostitution.
Last year, the Brazilian government began awarding hotels which actively discourage child sex on their premises an extra star in their quality rating.
Will such efforts be enough to make Singapore's 'preferential' sex tourists and paedophiles turn back?
Probably not. But it could make a difference to 'situational' sex tourists.
Grave warnings on immigration forms and at immigration checkpoints - plus the open admission that we have a problem - could turn their still-too-casual 'Why not?' into a more considered 'Better not'.
The writer is editor of the Saturday Special Report.
E-mail: suelong@sph.com.sg
Monday, May 30, 2005
yi(4) shun(4) jian(1) de(1) xing(4) fu(1)
29052005....
i said tt i'm afraid...it's only on hindsight tt i realise tt....u said tt almost every1 wld feel tt initially....i dunno....security...a word tt nds 2 b operationalised...is it cos o tt??? i dunno...i guess cos there's no clear path tt we r walking...it's like walking in e dark...i dun like it...i feel disoriented...i feel giddy...vertigo probably...i dun like tt...i can remember e look...but i cant decipher e meaning...if i can i wld b invincible...i cant read...dun DYM, it's me, really me...i TTM...& i cant verbalise wat i feel or tink...i tink i haven recovered fr e overnite...i'm still concussed...i'm hungry...i've things 2 complete...i 1 2 pursue my passion...stop
i said tt i'm afraid...it's only on hindsight tt i realise tt....u said tt almost every1 wld feel tt initially....i dunno....security...a word tt nds 2 b operationalised...is it cos o tt??? i dunno...i guess cos there's no clear path tt we r walking...it's like walking in e dark...i dun like it...i feel disoriented...i feel giddy...vertigo probably...i dun like tt...i can remember e look...but i cant decipher e meaning...if i can i wld b invincible...i cant read...dun DYM, it's me, really me...i TTM...& i cant verbalise wat i feel or tink...i tink i haven recovered fr e overnite...i'm still concussed...i'm hungry...i've things 2 complete...i 1 2 pursue my passion...stop
28052005
happy birthday....i 4got all abt ur bday.....i'll get a present 4 u!!!
27052005....
shldn't write abt wat happened on tt day cos i said i accepted ur apology, & tt we shld not bring up past things....& i dun 1 2 remind myself....but i 1 2 write it down....
yes i was v upset.....i dun understd y u behave tt way initially...i feel like crying now when i tink abt wat happened....i dunno y i insisted gg....y i still went when u were so mean...i guess i 1ed 2 know y u acted e way u did...i guess i trusted u a lot...i guess i 1 2 write it down cos i 1 2 note down e best way o solving conflicts between us in e future....i know ur intentions when u did wat u did...i wldn't have been so upset if u've told me wat u tot....i know u r sorry 4 wat u did & i 4give u....i really do, cos i know i was wrong 2....so treat tis experience as a lesson 2 learning more abt us....thk u 4 tinking so much 4 me....i appreciate it!!!
29052005....
u r more responsible den me....thk u 4 making so much effort....i was so happy when u said wat u said...i really placed a lot o trust in u....a lot a lot....i hope u dun feel pressurized....i dunno y i trust u so much....it's probably e way tt i treat every rs....if u cant trust e other person, den there's no pt in carrying on e rs...i hope i can b sme1 whom u can place ur trust on....i hope i hope.....
27052005....
shldn't write abt wat happened on tt day cos i said i accepted ur apology, & tt we shld not bring up past things....& i dun 1 2 remind myself....but i 1 2 write it down....
yes i was v upset.....i dun understd y u behave tt way initially...i feel like crying now when i tink abt wat happened....i dunno y i insisted gg....y i still went when u were so mean...i guess i 1ed 2 know y u acted e way u did...i guess i trusted u a lot...i guess i 1 2 write it down cos i 1 2 note down e best way o solving conflicts between us in e future....i know ur intentions when u did wat u did...i wldn't have been so upset if u've told me wat u tot....i know u r sorry 4 wat u did & i 4give u....i really do, cos i know i was wrong 2....so treat tis experience as a lesson 2 learning more abt us....thk u 4 tinking so much 4 me....i appreciate it!!!
29052005....
u r more responsible den me....thk u 4 making so much effort....i was so happy when u said wat u said...i really placed a lot o trust in u....a lot a lot....i hope u dun feel pressurized....i dunno y i trust u so much....it's probably e way tt i treat every rs....if u cant trust e other person, den there's no pt in carrying on e rs...i hope i can b sme1 whom u can place ur trust on....i hope i hope.....
apology....
i'm sorry....i hope i dun feel tt again....i feel so bad....i dun 1 2 feel tt....i'm so upset wif myself....pls dun ask me wat happened....i feel so bad....really really bad....i'm so guilty.....i'm sorry....
Trust....
Fr Diver Dear's....
A little girl and her father were crossing a flimsy bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."
The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What the difference?" asked the puzzled father.
"There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, age, castle or creed but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold urs.
No wonder u asked me e qn....
A little girl and her father were crossing a flimsy bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."
The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What the difference?" asked the puzzled father.
"There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, age, castle or creed but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold urs.
No wonder u asked me e qn....
Thursday, May 26, 2005
L......
今天她又被骂了。。。我就知道她不了解老板要什么。。。可我并没提醒她。。。可能是自私吧。。。可能是我很坏吧。。。就是想让她犯错， 那她才会学。。。有时我真的不知道为什么她就是CANNOT FOLLOW。。。是 FREQUENCY 错了吗？？？我还要和她合作 PRE-CONFERENCE，我真不知道会发生什么状况。。。心有余悸。。。我不否认她很细心，可是跟她说话真得就是很想一头撞死算了！！！饿了。。。吃LUNCH。。。
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
腼腆的表情...
我很喜欢他那腼腆的表情 (特别是在吃晚餐时那一瞬间，HEHEHEE， I’M SORRY， BUT I LIKE UR EXPRESSION 。。。)。。。很喜欢他那微微酒窝的笑容。。。他拍照时偶尔嘴嘟嘟的样子。。。他睡觉时轻轻的呼吸。。。他那长长的睫毛偶而在脸上轻轻地扫着。。。他暖暖的手扶在腰上。。。在下楼梯时他那紧紧握着我的手，那让我觉得不怕跌倒的感觉。。。他在我很不想起床做工时，传来MORNING CALL的SMS。。。他很注意周围的事，让我无须浪费精神。。。他那心疼我的表情。。。很多很多小小的东西。。。谢谢你。。。
ST 2005.05.25
Fatherhood
Love is thicker than blood
Whether parents are natural or adoptive, it's how they care for their kids that counts
By Mathew Pereira
RECENTLY, my friend Lian Kee and his wife told their 13-year-old daughter, Pamela, that they were not her natural parents and that she was adopted.
My eyes filled up as my wife told me this, and I tried to visualise the stunned teenager standing with her parents, trying to come to grips with what she had just heard.
Pamela was still a nameless baby in China when Lian Kee first told me about her. Their hearts were set on this beautiful girl they had seen at an adoption agency in Hainan Island, he said.
They were to make a follow-up trip to bring her home after the paperwork was done.
Seeing Pamela in church every week, I have watched her grow from a tiny bawling baby into a confident, cheerful, chatty girl. She had some very close friends in church whom she spent a lot of time with, given that she had no siblings.
Her parents meant everything to her, but I wondered if this would now change.
I spoke to Lian Kee, who is in his 50s, the following day. Yes, Pamela cried. She was crushed.
But it was something his wife and he had decided a long time ago to do. 'We have been praying for the right time,' he said.
As a father, he was loving and committed to Pamela to a fault. But her not knowing that she was adopted ate into him, he said.
It was not the first time that I had heard of his desire to be a perfect father.
In contrast, just a week before this incident, I was told about another father. His successful business in China took him away from home regularly.
'He is never home,' his sister-in-law complained. And when he is, he does not talk to his children.
'He was never actively involved in bringing them up, he just made sure that their material and physical needs were provided for,' she added.
His sons, she noted, had grown up with little guidance from him. 'The kids take up courses and drop out midway, job-hop and basically did not have the perseverance to see something through,' she said of the two sons who were in their 20s.
What an irony - a natural father who did not bother much about his kids but an adoptive parent who tried to be the perfect Dad.
But Lian Kee is not the first adoptive parent who has set himself high parenting standards. It made sense. People like him are eager to have children and consider it a privilege to be able to adopt.
As such, I have always been left with a positive view of adoption. In fact, I seriously contemplated doing it about 10 years ago.
Then, my wife was in her mid-30s and we had three children. Our target from the onset (at a time when the Stop At Two policy was still in place) was four.
Not wanting to go through the anxiety of a fourth pregnancy and also for a variety of other reasons, we thought of adopting instead.
At that time, I was hearing of more adoption cases. From anecdotal evidence, the number appeared to be on the rise and I believe it has been increasing steadily.
Last year, there were 731 child adoptions in Singapore. Two-thirds of the children were from abroad. The year before that, 672 children were adopted.
It was my Mum who scared me off my plans. It is fine if you have no children, she said. But with three of your own, you are bound to discriminate against the adopted one.
I could not quite tell if she was articulating fears about the possibility of her discriminating as a grandmother or whether she really had no faith in me. But she had planted enough doubts to make me drop the idea.
However, I continued to support adoption, pushing the idea among close friends who were unable to have children of their own.
I remember a good friend who laughed when I handed him a hongbao when his wife and he adopted a child. 'There is no reason to,' he said. 'I adopted the child.'
'I know,' I replied and pushed the hongbao into his palm.
The child, whether adopted or not, made no difference to me. He was now the child's father.
About two weeks after Lian Kee shared the events in his family with me, he suffered a stroke.
Fortunately, it was a mild one which the doctors assured he would almost surely recover fully from.
Even so, when I visited him in hospital, he was in a contemplative mood and had been giving life and death issues serious thought.
He was ready to die, he said, 'but for one thing - I would like to see my Pamela graduate'.
His wish was no different from what mine would have been, if I were ill.
I asked him at the hospital how Pamela was coping.
'Has she gotten over the whole incident, has it changed the relationship?'
He said that things had worked out well.
In fact, on the night when she was told about her adoption, she had walked over to hug him tightly, just before she went to bed.
And she had said: 'Dad, I love you.'
Send your comments to stlife@sph.com.sg
Fatherhood
Love is thicker than blood
Whether parents are natural or adoptive, it's how they care for their kids that counts
By Mathew Pereira
RECENTLY, my friend Lian Kee and his wife told their 13-year-old daughter, Pamela, that they were not her natural parents and that she was adopted.
My eyes filled up as my wife told me this, and I tried to visualise the stunned teenager standing with her parents, trying to come to grips with what she had just heard.
Pamela was still a nameless baby in China when Lian Kee first told me about her. Their hearts were set on this beautiful girl they had seen at an adoption agency in Hainan Island, he said.
They were to make a follow-up trip to bring her home after the paperwork was done.
Seeing Pamela in church every week, I have watched her grow from a tiny bawling baby into a confident, cheerful, chatty girl. She had some very close friends in church whom she spent a lot of time with, given that she had no siblings.
Her parents meant everything to her, but I wondered if this would now change.
I spoke to Lian Kee, who is in his 50s, the following day. Yes, Pamela cried. She was crushed.
But it was something his wife and he had decided a long time ago to do. 'We have been praying for the right time,' he said.
As a father, he was loving and committed to Pamela to a fault. But her not knowing that she was adopted ate into him, he said.
It was not the first time that I had heard of his desire to be a perfect father.
In contrast, just a week before this incident, I was told about another father. His successful business in China took him away from home regularly.
'He is never home,' his sister-in-law complained. And when he is, he does not talk to his children.
'He was never actively involved in bringing them up, he just made sure that their material and physical needs were provided for,' she added.
His sons, she noted, had grown up with little guidance from him. 'The kids take up courses and drop out midway, job-hop and basically did not have the perseverance to see something through,' she said of the two sons who were in their 20s.
What an irony - a natural father who did not bother much about his kids but an adoptive parent who tried to be the perfect Dad.
But Lian Kee is not the first adoptive parent who has set himself high parenting standards. It made sense. People like him are eager to have children and consider it a privilege to be able to adopt.
As such, I have always been left with a positive view of adoption. In fact, I seriously contemplated doing it about 10 years ago.
Then, my wife was in her mid-30s and we had three children. Our target from the onset (at a time when the Stop At Two policy was still in place) was four.
Not wanting to go through the anxiety of a fourth pregnancy and also for a variety of other reasons, we thought of adopting instead.
At that time, I was hearing of more adoption cases. From anecdotal evidence, the number appeared to be on the rise and I believe it has been increasing steadily.
Last year, there were 731 child adoptions in Singapore. Two-thirds of the children were from abroad. The year before that, 672 children were adopted.
It was my Mum who scared me off my plans. It is fine if you have no children, she said. But with three of your own, you are bound to discriminate against the adopted one.
I could not quite tell if she was articulating fears about the possibility of her discriminating as a grandmother or whether she really had no faith in me. But she had planted enough doubts to make me drop the idea.
However, I continued to support adoption, pushing the idea among close friends who were unable to have children of their own.
I remember a good friend who laughed when I handed him a hongbao when his wife and he adopted a child. 'There is no reason to,' he said. 'I adopted the child.'
'I know,' I replied and pushed the hongbao into his palm.
The child, whether adopted or not, made no difference to me. He was now the child's father.
About two weeks after Lian Kee shared the events in his family with me, he suffered a stroke.
Fortunately, it was a mild one which the doctors assured he would almost surely recover fully from.
Even so, when I visited him in hospital, he was in a contemplative mood and had been giving life and death issues serious thought.
He was ready to die, he said, 'but for one thing - I would like to see my Pamela graduate'.
His wish was no different from what mine would have been, if I were ill.
I asked him at the hospital how Pamela was coping.
'Has she gotten over the whole incident, has it changed the relationship?'
He said that things had worked out well.
In fact, on the night when she was told about her adoption, she had walked over to hug him tightly, just before she went to bed.
And she had said: 'Dad, I love you.'
Send your comments to stlife@sph.com.sg
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
vesak day wkend....
这次没能和她们一起“旅行”因为我不喜欢骑脚车。。。有点可惜。。。很想去，可我真的不喜欢。。。觉得有点奇怪因为通常有这么长的假期都会和她们一起过。。。这个假期我们都各分东西。。。妮和TCC 骑车旅游，SWING 去了KRABI 攀岩，我和他一起度过。。。就是觉得奇怪。。。可能已经很习惯有她们的陪伴。。。生活有了改变，因为有了个他。。。我一直没有想过我会先有个他。。。因为我们曾经VOTE 过8 个人中谁会先GET MARRIED， 而我一律被通过为LAST。。。所以我一点都没想过会那么快有个他。。。有他很好，可我觉得她们好像有点疏远了，可能是因为她们不想打扰我和他。。。我不想因为有了他， 让我们疏远。。。可能是我太TTM 了。。。我们一定要再一起去度假！！！SWING， U R TASKED WIF OUR NX TRIP！！！ HEHEHE。。。。期待我们的 NX TTMG CLUB OUTING！！！
ST 2005.05.21
Crack down on child sex tourists
By Claudine Lim, Melissa Kwee, and Saleemah Ismail
For The Straits Times
THE recent frank discussion in the press and Parliament on the issue of Singaporeans sexually exploiting children and trafficked women is a welcome development. In particular, the Home Affairs Ministry statement that it is seriously considering appropriate legislation is a significant step.
Focusing on the demand component in such sexual abuse is progress.
This region has largely viewed the issue in its supply side context - the result of poverty, structural inequality, absence of effective legislation and weak or corrupt law enforcement.
While these are without doubt key factors, there has been globally a relative silence on how more affluent citizens exploit the gaps at home and abroad to buy the sexual services of women and children who are often forced to work under exploitative, degrading conditions.
Effective legislation is undoubtedly important, but as Senior Minister of State for Law and Home Affairs, Associate Professor Ho Peng Kee, pointed out in Parliament on Monday the problem is not solely the Government's responsibility. There are three main challenges which require broader social cooperation.
First, there is the network that facilitates access to under-aged prostitutes and trafficking victims. This embraces Internet chat rooms and websites in the virtual world and, on the ground, tour operators, taxi drivers, pimps, hotel staff and others who often benefit from the fees-for-service. Tackling this requires a counter network of caring citizens who will report such transactions or victims in need.
Second, the networks are not merely local but also transnational. Effective action requires the cooperation of civil society, businesses and law enforcement both within and between their sectors, and across national boundaries.
Third, it is not easy but important that we acknowledge our culture of silence on sexual offences and related issues. Our laws identify and severely punish sexual offenders. However, society also punishes the victims by stigmatising them and their families when they seek help. In the absence of a compassionate response, victims of sexual abuse and their families, as well as offenders' families, often see silence as their only option. The Government cannot solve this, but as friends and community members, we can.
The customers
ULTIMATELY, the source of demand must be addressed. Who are these customers?
Singaporean sex tourists who travel to nearby low-cost locations to procure sex services from minors and trafficked girls are mostly 'preferential' or 'situational' abusers, not paedophiles per se.
Preferential abusers seek out ever younger girls or boys for a variety of reasons: a sense of power, a fallacious belief that they are 'cleaner' and therefore lower the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Some labour under an even more misguided notion that 'virginal' girls have curative or restorative effects on men.
Situational offenders are those who do not specifically seek out young girls but are presented with the opportunity, and choose to accept. They may be motivated by similar reasons to the preferential abuser. Or perhaps they choose to ignore the fact that the girl is under-aged, or rationalise their actions as being in the girl's best interest (for example, by providing her with an income or by using her service, help her avoid punishment by her pimp or abuse by a client who is less kind).
Establishing that the sexual exploitation of children while overseas is a criminal act and making it clear that society is not willing to turn a blind eye will deter potential preferential and situational offenders, if not hardcore paedophiles. Public education, backed up by force of law, will make for a more vigilant community that does not condone such behaviour.
Enforcement is no doubt challenging and complex. Challenges include obtaining reliable evidence and witnesses, protecting victims and managing the complexities of transnational cooperation.
Nonetheless, there is an upward trend in the number of successful prosecutions in countries that have child sex tourism laws in place, as more experience is gained and techniques become more sophisticated.
In the business sector, willingness to act has been muted, but some airlines and hotel groups have a clear policy of taking a stand against child sex tourism by educating their customers.
Some even have a reporting mechanism in place to assist law enforcement. Over time, it is hoped that this group of enlightened tourism players will grow.
A Code of Conduct (www.thecode.org) promulgated by the non-governmental organisation End Child Prostitution, Pornography and Trafficking, the World Tourism Organisation and the United Nations Children's Fund has been endorsed by many governments, most recently the United States and Japan.
Tourism companies that adopt the code commit themselves to establishing an ethical policy against commercial sexual exploitation of children, providing relevant staff training, requiring suppliers to take a common stand on the issue and educating customers.
Last but not least, public education is crucial. We can punish and shame offenders, but it is how the rest of us raise our children, teach values of respect and self-worth, and act towards our fellow humans that will make the long-term difference. Child sex tourism and sexual abuse and exploitation of vulnerable women and children should not be seen only as a crime but also a deep festering moral wound.
The writers belong to the national committee of Unifem Singapore, the Singapore chapter of the UN Development Fund for Women. www.unifemsingapore.org.sg
Crack down on child sex tourists
By Claudine Lim, Melissa Kwee, and Saleemah Ismail
For The Straits Times
THE recent frank discussion in the press and Parliament on the issue of Singaporeans sexually exploiting children and trafficked women is a welcome development. In particular, the Home Affairs Ministry statement that it is seriously considering appropriate legislation is a significant step.
Focusing on the demand component in such sexual abuse is progress.
This region has largely viewed the issue in its supply side context - the result of poverty, structural inequality, absence of effective legislation and weak or corrupt law enforcement.
While these are without doubt key factors, there has been globally a relative silence on how more affluent citizens exploit the gaps at home and abroad to buy the sexual services of women and children who are often forced to work under exploitative, degrading conditions.
Effective legislation is undoubtedly important, but as Senior Minister of State for Law and Home Affairs, Associate Professor Ho Peng Kee, pointed out in Parliament on Monday the problem is not solely the Government's responsibility. There are three main challenges which require broader social cooperation.
First, there is the network that facilitates access to under-aged prostitutes and trafficking victims. This embraces Internet chat rooms and websites in the virtual world and, on the ground, tour operators, taxi drivers, pimps, hotel staff and others who often benefit from the fees-for-service. Tackling this requires a counter network of caring citizens who will report such transactions or victims in need.
Second, the networks are not merely local but also transnational. Effective action requires the cooperation of civil society, businesses and law enforcement both within and between their sectors, and across national boundaries.
Third, it is not easy but important that we acknowledge our culture of silence on sexual offences and related issues. Our laws identify and severely punish sexual offenders. However, society also punishes the victims by stigmatising them and their families when they seek help. In the absence of a compassionate response, victims of sexual abuse and their families, as well as offenders' families, often see silence as their only option. The Government cannot solve this, but as friends and community members, we can.
The customers
ULTIMATELY, the source of demand must be addressed. Who are these customers?
Singaporean sex tourists who travel to nearby low-cost locations to procure sex services from minors and trafficked girls are mostly 'preferential' or 'situational' abusers, not paedophiles per se.
Preferential abusers seek out ever younger girls or boys for a variety of reasons: a sense of power, a fallacious belief that they are 'cleaner' and therefore lower the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Some labour under an even more misguided notion that 'virginal' girls have curative or restorative effects on men.
Situational offenders are those who do not specifically seek out young girls but are presented with the opportunity, and choose to accept. They may be motivated by similar reasons to the preferential abuser. Or perhaps they choose to ignore the fact that the girl is under-aged, or rationalise their actions as being in the girl's best interest (for example, by providing her with an income or by using her service, help her avoid punishment by her pimp or abuse by a client who is less kind).
Establishing that the sexual exploitation of children while overseas is a criminal act and making it clear that society is not willing to turn a blind eye will deter potential preferential and situational offenders, if not hardcore paedophiles. Public education, backed up by force of law, will make for a more vigilant community that does not condone such behaviour.
Enforcement is no doubt challenging and complex. Challenges include obtaining reliable evidence and witnesses, protecting victims and managing the complexities of transnational cooperation.
Nonetheless, there is an upward trend in the number of successful prosecutions in countries that have child sex tourism laws in place, as more experience is gained and techniques become more sophisticated.
In the business sector, willingness to act has been muted, but some airlines and hotel groups have a clear policy of taking a stand against child sex tourism by educating their customers.
Some even have a reporting mechanism in place to assist law enforcement. Over time, it is hoped that this group of enlightened tourism players will grow.
A Code of Conduct (www.thecode.org) promulgated by the non-governmental organisation End Child Prostitution, Pornography and Trafficking, the World Tourism Organisation and the United Nations Children's Fund has been endorsed by many governments, most recently the United States and Japan.
Tourism companies that adopt the code commit themselves to establishing an ethical policy against commercial sexual exploitation of children, providing relevant staff training, requiring suppliers to take a common stand on the issue and educating customers.
Last but not least, public education is crucial. We can punish and shame offenders, but it is how the rest of us raise our children, teach values of respect and self-worth, and act towards our fellow humans that will make the long-term difference. Child sex tourism and sexual abuse and exploitation of vulnerable women and children should not be seen only as a crime but also a deep festering moral wound.
The writers belong to the national committee of Unifem Singapore, the Singapore chapter of the UN Development Fund for Women. www.unifemsingapore.org.sg
Untitled by Simple Plan
dear's fav song at tis moment....i like tis song 2.....
Untitled
by Simple Plan
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Untitled
by Simple Plan
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
bored stiff....
in class now.....really bored stiff!!!! thk gdness e projector cldn't work in e other room so we came down 2 e computer lab 4 e class, so here i m blogging away while e trainer is speaking away....he's basically teaching stuff tt i oredi know & he doesn't give any more indepth stuff....i tot e class was supposed 2 teach us how 2 train pple 2 help us conduct field surveys, not teach stats!!!! if i 1ed stats i wld 've gone 4 my spss class....not waste a couple o hundreds sitting here blogging.....argh.....hopefully he'll teach factor analysis & relaibility analysis ltr on.....pls pls pls....ok gg 2 help him compare e hp prices....he spent >200Rm on hp bills last mth.... ;p sorry dear.....
Friday, May 13, 2005
humor....
wah she know how 2 appreciate humor 2!!!
here's her fwd email....not bad!!!
When times are bad....................Hang Cheng Pai.....................A NUS graduate found himself difficult to get a job here. He finally accepted the offer to work with Mandai Zoo."What to do? It's better to work like this than earning nothing...", mumbling to himself.So since that day, the IT grad started work acting as a monkey. He has to wear monkey suit and mask, chew nuts and eat bananas. He has to climb trees too and jump from one to another to attract visitors. The zoo has since then enjoyed tremendous business due to the increase in visitors. Even SM Lee wanted to see the super 'smart' monkey in the world. Unfortunately, one day when he was jumping from the trees. He fell down into a crocodile pool! "Oh my God....I'm dying... now" he thought, as a hungry looking crocodile swam steadily towards his direction. In the middle of his struggle, suddenly he heard a soft voice, "Don't be afraid my friend... I'm from NTU".
i dunno y but when i read e last part, reminded me o da shi xiong!!! hahahhaa....i can imagine him wearing e suit hahhaha....den still have e bear....hahhahah
here's her fwd email....not bad!!!
When times are bad....................Hang Cheng Pai.....................A NUS graduate found himself difficult to get a job here. He finally accepted the offer to work with Mandai Zoo."What to do? It's better to work like this than earning nothing...", mumbling to himself.So since that day, the IT grad started work acting as a monkey. He has to wear monkey suit and mask, chew nuts and eat bananas. He has to climb trees too and jump from one to another to attract visitors. The zoo has since then enjoyed tremendous business due to the increase in visitors. Even SM Lee wanted to see the super 'smart' monkey in the world. Unfortunately, one day when he was jumping from the trees. He fell down into a crocodile pool! "Oh my God....I'm dying... now" he thought, as a hungry looking crocodile swam steadily towards his direction. In the middle of his struggle, suddenly he heard a soft voice, "Don't be afraid my friend... I'm from NTU".
i dunno y but when i read e last part, reminded me o da shi xiong!!! hahahhaa....i can imagine him wearing e suit hahhaha....den still have e bear....hahhahah
Thursday, May 12, 2005
a 1000 miles...
swing do u remember tis song??? everytime i hear tis song i always remember e time we studied in nus, at e bench near e E lang department...remember??? e v secluded place??? den we play open open win???? i tink cos tt time e song was v popular so everytime also play....i remember e raintree....e cool breeze....e dabao chicken rice...my mini-radioclock....e early mornings where we smetimes 've 2 go chop our place....so huai nian......
"A Thousand Miles" by Vannessa Carlton
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd
And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know
I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me
'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories
'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight
And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd
And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know
I'd walkA thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight
"A Thousand Miles" by Vannessa Carlton
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd
And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know
I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me
'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories
'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight
And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd
And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know
I'd walkA thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight
T4MG....
trials & tribulations o e TTMG....
in progress.....
current page count: 55....
days 2 publishing: TBA.....
STAY TUNED.....DUN MISS E OFFICIAL LAUNCH O TIS EXCLUSIVE BOOK BY E TTMG....
in progress.....
current page count: 55....
days 2 publishing: TBA.....
STAY TUNED.....DUN MISS E OFFICIAL LAUNCH O TIS EXCLUSIVE BOOK BY E TTMG....
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
妈咪...
我挺喜欢煮东西的，不喜欢吃不过就是喜欢煮。。。虽然煮得并不是很好就是喜欢 experiment。。。这里加一点，那里加一点。。。应该是受妈妈的影响。。。
小时候妈妈有时没空，她会让我帮忙煮，虽然是很简单的菜，有时还会炒的过火，很难吃，可她都会说可以，然后会提点下次应该怎么做。。。就是她那很包容的心让我在成长的过程有了更多的机会尝试。。。可能也因为她的放松让我有时会把她给忽略了。。。不征求她的同意，只一谓的做自己想做的事。。。觉得自己很自私从来都不会想她会不会担心。。。知道她会就不告诉她直到完成后才让她懂。。。
这个母亲节我们会在这星期天才庆祝。。。不知道要不要去划龙舟后才去。。。不知道要不要让他去。。。不知道要不要买东西送她。。。不知道要买什么。。。
妈咪，母亲节快乐。。。希望你会天天快乐。。。不要为我们操心，我们都长大了，是时候让我们照顾你了。。。你和爸爸可以牵着手一起到你们向往的地方去渡假。。。让我存多点钱下次让你们去更好的地方。。。
小时候妈妈有时没空，她会让我帮忙煮，虽然是很简单的菜，有时还会炒的过火，很难吃，可她都会说可以，然后会提点下次应该怎么做。。。就是她那很包容的心让我在成长的过程有了更多的机会尝试。。。可能也因为她的放松让我有时会把她给忽略了。。。不征求她的同意，只一谓的做自己想做的事。。。觉得自己很自私从来都不会想她会不会担心。。。知道她会就不告诉她直到完成后才让她懂。。。
这个母亲节我们会在这星期天才庆祝。。。不知道要不要去划龙舟后才去。。。不知道要不要让他去。。。不知道要不要买东西送她。。。不知道要买什么。。。
妈咪，母亲节快乐。。。希望你会天天快乐。。。不要为我们操心，我们都长大了，是时候让我们照顾你了。。。你和爸爸可以牵着手一起到你们向往的地方去渡假。。。让我存多点钱下次让你们去更好的地方。。。
打包...
今天又是在 office 里吃午餐。。。每次都 dabao。。。这几天想 detox 因为一直吃，没停得吃。。。不知道是不是大姨妈要来了才这样。。。又没运动，肚腩是越来越大，怎样都减不掉。。。我知道我并不胖不过就是想让自己更匀称一点。。。有哪个女人不想呢？？？
有时不吃晚餐不是为了减肥，而是因为吃了后要运动会不舒服。。。也因为不知道要吃什么。。。我还真够懒的。。。连吃什么都懒得想。。。其实有时候我真得想不用吃东西那该多好。。。
我真得是懒到没话说。。。饿了，同事怎么还没回来？？？
有时不吃晚餐不是为了减肥，而是因为吃了后要运动会不舒服。。。也因为不知道要吃什么。。。我还真够懒的。。。连吃什么都懒得想。。。其实有时候我真得想不用吃东西那该多好。。。
我真得是懒到没话说。。。饿了，同事怎么还没回来？？？
Monday, May 09, 2005
starfish....
it was a pleasant & sweet surprise....i didn't expect it....i tot it was e cookies he mentioned...e cookies were a sweet gesture 2....i'll upload e pic once i get his camera...ok i found e pic on e web...
Friday, May 06, 2005
ST 2005.05.06
Time to throw the book at child sex tour organisers
By Andy Ho
Senior Writer
RECENTLY, Temasek Polytechnic teacher Darwis Rianto Lim was arrested in Bangkok for allegedly trying to procure young boys for sex.
He is not the only Singaporean to have tried that. A recent Johns Hopkins study shows that some Singaporeans visit Batam for sex with girls as young as 14 years.
As domestic law stands at the moment, Singaporeans commit no offence when they have sex with children while overseas.
This is despite the urging of a number of people over the years to change the law. Last year, Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Seng explained in Parliament that, even if there were such an amendment, implementing it to deter local child-sex tourists would be fraught with difficulties.
But not everyone is convinced. The president of the Association of Criminal Lawyers, Mr Subhas Anandan, points out that Singaporeans who take drugs elsewhere have been prosecuted when they returned home.
But the parallel between drug takers and paedophiles is far from perfect, for several reasons.
Mr Lim Hsin Hin, a Singaporean lawyer practising in London, points out that there is a principle of 'active nationality', which is recognised under international law, which makes it permissible for a government to exercise territorial jurisdiction over one of its nationals for crimes committed abroad. This principle is widely accepted in drugs cases, but whether it would be equally accepted in paedophilia cases remains untested.
Then there is the concern over 'double jeopardy'. As Mr Anandan says, while a local who has sex with children overseas should be prosecuted when he returns home, the offender should not be convicted in two countries as it would not be fair to punish a person twice.
This sounds about right - but there is an exception for the worst crimes under the 'dual sovereignty' rule. That is, while a person should not be prosecuted twice for the same offence by the same sovereign, but if his act violates the laws of two sovereigns, it can then be seen as two distinct offences under the 'dual sovereignty' exception.
Thus, re-prosecution on coming home in such cases would not count as double jeopardy and could be permissible.
At any rate, in the real world, prosecutions rarely occur in the countries where child sex acts take place. Thus, local law would likely be prosecuting a Singaporean child sex tourist for the first time - without fear of double jeopardy.
This means that the Singapore Government could amend the law to cover child sex tourists under the active nationality principle, even re-prosecute them under the dual sovereignty exception. Yet it has not done so.
Why? Very practical reasons apply.
While most of the countries where the child sex trade occurs have laws prohibiting it, local law enforcement is lax. Poverty drives families to sell their own children into prostitution. Gathering evidence against a child sex offender under such circumstances would be a nightmare for any prosecutor, from Singapore or anywhere else.
For instance, both Australia and the United States have adopted laws against child sex tourists.
There is the Crimes (Child Sex Tourism) Amendment Act (CST Act) in Australia while the US has its Protect (Prosecutorial Remedies and other Tools to end the Exploitation of Children Today) Act.
However, both laws have seen only limited success. After a decade of enforcement, Australia has only charged 16 people and convicted a mere 11 of them.
Similarly, the US Protect Act itself was a 2003 update of the Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Act of 1994, under which only two US citizens were ever convicted.
If these experiences are anything to go by, a Singaporean amendment may fare no better as local prosecutors will face the same difficulties that hobble Australian and US prosecutors. Mr Lim points out four of them.
First, in gathering evidence abroad, investigators who are unfamiliar with the laws there may infringe upon them, leading to their own arrests or detentions. Moreover, the foreign jurisdiction may perceive its sovereignty to have been challenged, which could spark off a diplomatic spat.
Second, some countries make it difficult for foreign law enforcement officers to gather evidence on their soil. Until recently, the most common method of obtaining such evidence was a letter rogatory, a request by one court of a foreign counterpart for help in obtaining information. This has to pass through a long diplomatic chain, which may take a year or longer.
A newer alternative is the Mutual Legal Assistance in Criminal Matters treaty (MLAT). Last November, all Asean nations including Singapore - but not Thailand and Myanmar - signed a multilateral MLAT.
(Child sex tourism thrives in Thailand, the Philippines and Indonesia and is beginning to flourish in Cambodia and Vietnam.)
Even so, that treaty will come into effect only after it has been ratified by the respective governments. Still, MLATs are generally only available to prosecutors, while defence counsel must usually resort to letters rogatory to obtain evidence.
Third, whether resorting to letters rogatory or MLATs, while abroad, foreign law will still govern the standards of evidence gathering there. For example, a witness will testify according to his country's standards for criminal proceedings.
So a Singaporean consular officer might, in theory, be allowed by the host country to administer oaths to witnesses before recording their testimonies abroad. But while Thailand permits such voluntary depositions for some consulates, its witnesses are allowed - according to Thai practice - to refuse to take the oath.
Under such circumstances, Singaporean procedural safeguards when obtaining witness testimony may not be observed such that strict Singaporean statutory requirements may not be met.
Last, there are difficulties in locating witnesses, language barriers and the need for interpreters in the field and during the trial process itself. Dealing with child witnesses is also particularly difficult, especially those who have been abused sexually.
It all looks insuperable.
So shall we forget about adopting any child sex tourism law at all?
Not necessarily.
Adopting a law - like 32 nations other have done - will send a signal to Singaporeans who are planning child sex jaunts abroad that they will be prosecuted when they come home.
One option is for a law to focus on the organisers of child sex tours, in addition to the offenders themselves.
True, not much is known about local operators yet. In 1995, an Australian parliamentary investigation found no evidence to suggest that organised commercial ventures were involved there. Child sex tour 'operators' were thought to be paedophiles networking informally with others of their ilk to assist one another going overseas for child sex.
Today, however, as the Johns Hopkins University study has found, there are more than 100 websites promoting child sex tourism in Asia alone. Travel agents and website owners, it says, advertise child sex tours to hot spots in the Philippines, Thailand and Vietnam.
The study has also found that Singaporeans formed the largest group of sex tourists in the Riau islands, including Batam, where spending a night with a girl reportedly costs $40. Virgins, including the underaged, cost $500 each. In Batam, 3 per cent of its 6,600 prostitutes are underaged.
To match that supply with demand, it is not unlikely that tour organisers are already operating alone or in syndicates here. Ferreting them out is work cut out for law enforcement officials.
It makes sense to target profit-motivated operators as punitive fines and jail time could change their behaviour. Also, convicting one sex tourist removes but one perpetrator, while taking a tour organiser out of action hinders several child sex tourists at one go.
ST 2005.05.06
Time to put our foot down on the sex trade
By Braema Mathi
IT WAS a desperate call to a helpline from a man who wanted to free two young Thai sex workers from a Geylang brothel.
Their ordeal was horrible: They had a quota of 10 men per night; they were banned from going out; and they had to clear a debt of 10,000 baht (S$420) within two weeks before their social visit passes expired.
His account clearly showed the girls were forced into a situation and needed help. But they were afraid to seek it.
It would have meant filing charges against the brothel owner, and the Singapore and Thai agents. And they themselves risked jail terms for having worked illegally - in the sex trade to boot - while on a social visit pass.
These women never took up the offer of help. Their plight, and those of others, will remain unchanged until we review our approach to the trafficking of people.
Victim or criminal?
THE United Nations Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons, Especially Women and Children offers one such solution. Some 120 countries have signed it.
It defines the trafficked persons as victims, who were so vulnerable that they ended up being exploited, whether for the sex trade, or as slaves, or to have their organs removed.
The definition means the consent of the individual becomes irrelevant.
Instead, the trafficker is criminalised under this protocol, which is a supplement to the UN Convention on Transnational Organised Crime. Singapore is a signatory to this document.
Adopting this definition requires putting in place a legislative process to confiscate assets from traffickers to compensate victims.
A system of tracking and investigating violators through greater transnational cooperation will also be needed, as will support schemes to help the victims.
This way, the trafficked person may also be more willing to help in the investigations as she will not be treated as a criminal.
Singapore maintains there is minimal incidence of trafficked persons here. But using this broader definition may give rise to higher numbers.
The Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA) is making changes. It has said there is a need to accord greater protection to minors as they are not yet fully mature, physically or psychologically.
This is a positive sign.
We now need to extend this same approach to the protection of adults, who are also victims of trafficking.
But a bigger challenge is to review the definition of trafficking.
Lucrative global industry
THE global sex industry has been growing since the early 1990s and runs parallel to the entertainment, travel, leisure and gambling industries, often complementing each other.
Its growth is aided by the complicity of some sender countries, which depend on remittances by their women and children, and therefore do not take steps to be vigilant.
Some of those at the helm of the trafficking business are also major financial supporters of political parties and are hardly taken to task for their activities.
This industry will continue to grow because corruption, poverty, and the advent of easy and cheap travel will steer people into the trade, or to be its consumers.
Accurate data is hard to come by, but statistics from the International Organisation for Migration reveal that nearly one-third of the global trafficking trade - or about 200,000 to 250,000 women and children - is from South-east Asia.
It is also a lucrative business. Thai estimates showed the trade is at least three times more profitable than drug trafficking.
Regional action
IT WAS heartening that at the recent Conference on Trafficking held here, Asean secretary-general Ong Keng Yong spoke of instituting an Asean declaration to tackle this problem.
This has been on the cards for more than a year and I hope the process can be speeded up as there is already an Asean Centre for Combating Transnational Crime (ACTC) whose focus
includes looking into issues of trafficking.
Some terms of reference for the Asean Task Force could include brothel licensing criteria, dealing with corrupt officers, and criminalising traffickers and those in the travel businesses.
Strengthen laws here
WE HAVE always been very serious players when it comes to becoming signatories to conventions.
But we are found wanting when we align ourselves with some international treaties and not with others on the same issue.
For money laundering, we amended the Extradition Act to make certain serious crimes extraditable offences.
Yet we seem to fight shy of having the Extradition Act applied to those who travel to solicit sex with minors.
Our domestic laws are a deterrent and do protect our own women and children.
But these laws become meaningless if a Singaporean takes his violent ways to children in the region.
Equipping our laws with an extra-territorial jurisdiction provision means rapists may have to come home to face trial.
MHA's multi-agency committee is reviewing sexual offences currently prescribed in the Penal Code, Women's Charter and Children and Young Persons Act.
It will also be timely to review possibilities for extradition and strengthening laws to protect children and women caught in offshore sex industries.
While the State can play its part, we, too, need to question our values.
Is the Singapore male so irrepressible in his quest to have paid and casual sex that we tolerate the sex industry and have stopped asking our men why they persist in doing so.
Sweden has criminalised men who buy sex, and women who offer sex as prostitutes.
Yes, there will be some men who will move to other countries as travellers to get their quick fix.
But the message that resounds in Sweden for the majority of the population is one of respecting women and themselves.
Where will we stand on this, Singapore?
The writer, a former Nominated MP, is a visiting research fellow at the Institute of South-east Asian Studies (Gender Studies Programme). This is her personal comment.
Time to throw the book at child sex tour organisers
By Andy Ho
Senior Writer
RECENTLY, Temasek Polytechnic teacher Darwis Rianto Lim was arrested in Bangkok for allegedly trying to procure young boys for sex.
He is not the only Singaporean to have tried that. A recent Johns Hopkins study shows that some Singaporeans visit Batam for sex with girls as young as 14 years.
As domestic law stands at the moment, Singaporeans commit no offence when they have sex with children while overseas.
This is despite the urging of a number of people over the years to change the law. Last year, Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Seng explained in Parliament that, even if there were such an amendment, implementing it to deter local child-sex tourists would be fraught with difficulties.
But not everyone is convinced. The president of the Association of Criminal Lawyers, Mr Subhas Anandan, points out that Singaporeans who take drugs elsewhere have been prosecuted when they returned home.
But the parallel between drug takers and paedophiles is far from perfect, for several reasons.
Mr Lim Hsin Hin, a Singaporean lawyer practising in London, points out that there is a principle of 'active nationality', which is recognised under international law, which makes it permissible for a government to exercise territorial jurisdiction over one of its nationals for crimes committed abroad. This principle is widely accepted in drugs cases, but whether it would be equally accepted in paedophilia cases remains untested.
Then there is the concern over 'double jeopardy'. As Mr Anandan says, while a local who has sex with children overseas should be prosecuted when he returns home, the offender should not be convicted in two countries as it would not be fair to punish a person twice.
This sounds about right - but there is an exception for the worst crimes under the 'dual sovereignty' rule. That is, while a person should not be prosecuted twice for the same offence by the same sovereign, but if his act violates the laws of two sovereigns, it can then be seen as two distinct offences under the 'dual sovereignty' exception.
Thus, re-prosecution on coming home in such cases would not count as double jeopardy and could be permissible.
At any rate, in the real world, prosecutions rarely occur in the countries where child sex acts take place. Thus, local law would likely be prosecuting a Singaporean child sex tourist for the first time - without fear of double jeopardy.
This means that the Singapore Government could amend the law to cover child sex tourists under the active nationality principle, even re-prosecute them under the dual sovereignty exception. Yet it has not done so.
Why? Very practical reasons apply.
While most of the countries where the child sex trade occurs have laws prohibiting it, local law enforcement is lax. Poverty drives families to sell their own children into prostitution. Gathering evidence against a child sex offender under such circumstances would be a nightmare for any prosecutor, from Singapore or anywhere else.
For instance, both Australia and the United States have adopted laws against child sex tourists.
There is the Crimes (Child Sex Tourism) Amendment Act (CST Act) in Australia while the US has its Protect (Prosecutorial Remedies and other Tools to end the Exploitation of Children Today) Act.
However, both laws have seen only limited success. After a decade of enforcement, Australia has only charged 16 people and convicted a mere 11 of them.
Similarly, the US Protect Act itself was a 2003 update of the Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Act of 1994, under which only two US citizens were ever convicted.
If these experiences are anything to go by, a Singaporean amendment may fare no better as local prosecutors will face the same difficulties that hobble Australian and US prosecutors. Mr Lim points out four of them.
First, in gathering evidence abroad, investigators who are unfamiliar with the laws there may infringe upon them, leading to their own arrests or detentions. Moreover, the foreign jurisdiction may perceive its sovereignty to have been challenged, which could spark off a diplomatic spat.
Second, some countries make it difficult for foreign law enforcement officers to gather evidence on their soil. Until recently, the most common method of obtaining such evidence was a letter rogatory, a request by one court of a foreign counterpart for help in obtaining information. This has to pass through a long diplomatic chain, which may take a year or longer.
A newer alternative is the Mutual Legal Assistance in Criminal Matters treaty (MLAT). Last November, all Asean nations including Singapore - but not Thailand and Myanmar - signed a multilateral MLAT.
(Child sex tourism thrives in Thailand, the Philippines and Indonesia and is beginning to flourish in Cambodia and Vietnam.)
Even so, that treaty will come into effect only after it has been ratified by the respective governments. Still, MLATs are generally only available to prosecutors, while defence counsel must usually resort to letters rogatory to obtain evidence.
Third, whether resorting to letters rogatory or MLATs, while abroad, foreign law will still govern the standards of evidence gathering there. For example, a witness will testify according to his country's standards for criminal proceedings.
So a Singaporean consular officer might, in theory, be allowed by the host country to administer oaths to witnesses before recording their testimonies abroad. But while Thailand permits such voluntary depositions for some consulates, its witnesses are allowed - according to Thai practice - to refuse to take the oath.
Under such circumstances, Singaporean procedural safeguards when obtaining witness testimony may not be observed such that strict Singaporean statutory requirements may not be met.
Last, there are difficulties in locating witnesses, language barriers and the need for interpreters in the field and during the trial process itself. Dealing with child witnesses is also particularly difficult, especially those who have been abused sexually.
It all looks insuperable.
So shall we forget about adopting any child sex tourism law at all?
Not necessarily.
Adopting a law - like 32 nations other have done - will send a signal to Singaporeans who are planning child sex jaunts abroad that they will be prosecuted when they come home.
One option is for a law to focus on the organisers of child sex tours, in addition to the offenders themselves.
True, not much is known about local operators yet. In 1995, an Australian parliamentary investigation found no evidence to suggest that organised commercial ventures were involved there. Child sex tour 'operators' were thought to be paedophiles networking informally with others of their ilk to assist one another going overseas for child sex.
Today, however, as the Johns Hopkins University study has found, there are more than 100 websites promoting child sex tourism in Asia alone. Travel agents and website owners, it says, advertise child sex tours to hot spots in the Philippines, Thailand and Vietnam.
The study has also found that Singaporeans formed the largest group of sex tourists in the Riau islands, including Batam, where spending a night with a girl reportedly costs $40. Virgins, including the underaged, cost $500 each. In Batam, 3 per cent of its 6,600 prostitutes are underaged.
To match that supply with demand, it is not unlikely that tour organisers are already operating alone or in syndicates here. Ferreting them out is work cut out for law enforcement officials.
It makes sense to target profit-motivated operators as punitive fines and jail time could change their behaviour. Also, convicting one sex tourist removes but one perpetrator, while taking a tour organiser out of action hinders several child sex tourists at one go.
ST 2005.05.06
Time to put our foot down on the sex trade
By Braema Mathi
IT WAS a desperate call to a helpline from a man who wanted to free two young Thai sex workers from a Geylang brothel.
Their ordeal was horrible: They had a quota of 10 men per night; they were banned from going out; and they had to clear a debt of 10,000 baht (S$420) within two weeks before their social visit passes expired.
His account clearly showed the girls were forced into a situation and needed help. But they were afraid to seek it.
It would have meant filing charges against the brothel owner, and the Singapore and Thai agents. And they themselves risked jail terms for having worked illegally - in the sex trade to boot - while on a social visit pass.
These women never took up the offer of help. Their plight, and those of others, will remain unchanged until we review our approach to the trafficking of people.
Victim or criminal?
THE United Nations Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons, Especially Women and Children offers one such solution. Some 120 countries have signed it.
It defines the trafficked persons as victims, who were so vulnerable that they ended up being exploited, whether for the sex trade, or as slaves, or to have their organs removed.
The definition means the consent of the individual becomes irrelevant.
Instead, the trafficker is criminalised under this protocol, which is a supplement to the UN Convention on Transnational Organised Crime. Singapore is a signatory to this document.
Adopting this definition requires putting in place a legislative process to confiscate assets from traffickers to compensate victims.
A system of tracking and investigating violators through greater transnational cooperation will also be needed, as will support schemes to help the victims.
This way, the trafficked person may also be more willing to help in the investigations as she will not be treated as a criminal.
Singapore maintains there is minimal incidence of trafficked persons here. But using this broader definition may give rise to higher numbers.
The Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA) is making changes. It has said there is a need to accord greater protection to minors as they are not yet fully mature, physically or psychologically.
This is a positive sign.
We now need to extend this same approach to the protection of adults, who are also victims of trafficking.
But a bigger challenge is to review the definition of trafficking.
Lucrative global industry
THE global sex industry has been growing since the early 1990s and runs parallel to the entertainment, travel, leisure and gambling industries, often complementing each other.
Its growth is aided by the complicity of some sender countries, which depend on remittances by their women and children, and therefore do not take steps to be vigilant.
Some of those at the helm of the trafficking business are also major financial supporters of political parties and are hardly taken to task for their activities.
This industry will continue to grow because corruption, poverty, and the advent of easy and cheap travel will steer people into the trade, or to be its consumers.
Accurate data is hard to come by, but statistics from the International Organisation for Migration reveal that nearly one-third of the global trafficking trade - or about 200,000 to 250,000 women and children - is from South-east Asia.
It is also a lucrative business. Thai estimates showed the trade is at least three times more profitable than drug trafficking.
Regional action
IT WAS heartening that at the recent Conference on Trafficking held here, Asean secretary-general Ong Keng Yong spoke of instituting an Asean declaration to tackle this problem.
This has been on the cards for more than a year and I hope the process can be speeded up as there is already an Asean Centre for Combating Transnational Crime (ACTC) whose focus
includes looking into issues of trafficking.
Some terms of reference for the Asean Task Force could include brothel licensing criteria, dealing with corrupt officers, and criminalising traffickers and those in the travel businesses.
Strengthen laws here
WE HAVE always been very serious players when it comes to becoming signatories to conventions.
But we are found wanting when we align ourselves with some international treaties and not with others on the same issue.
For money laundering, we amended the Extradition Act to make certain serious crimes extraditable offences.
Yet we seem to fight shy of having the Extradition Act applied to those who travel to solicit sex with minors.
Our domestic laws are a deterrent and do protect our own women and children.
But these laws become meaningless if a Singaporean takes his violent ways to children in the region.
Equipping our laws with an extra-territorial jurisdiction provision means rapists may have to come home to face trial.
MHA's multi-agency committee is reviewing sexual offences currently prescribed in the Penal Code, Women's Charter and Children and Young Persons Act.
It will also be timely to review possibilities for extradition and strengthening laws to protect children and women caught in offshore sex industries.
While the State can play its part, we, too, need to question our values.
Is the Singapore male so irrepressible in his quest to have paid and casual sex that we tolerate the sex industry and have stopped asking our men why they persist in doing so.
Sweden has criminalised men who buy sex, and women who offer sex as prostitutes.
Yes, there will be some men who will move to other countries as travellers to get their quick fix.
But the message that resounds in Sweden for the majority of the population is one of respecting women and themselves.
Where will we stand on this, Singapore?
The writer, a former Nominated MP, is a visiting research fellow at the Institute of South-east Asian Studies (Gender Studies Programme). This is her personal comment.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
难以忘记的脚车经验和体会。。。
这次的经验和体会和她们的有一点不同。。。因为我一直垫底。。。没能和你们一起骑。。。我很努力的骑。。。我知道我在途中不能放弃，不过我到resort 时， 我真的想在隔天搭cab 回。。。因为我不想连累大家。。。可是我又不甘心。。。我真的很怕自己撑不下去。。。一直一直骑。。。心里一直想为什么我要如此的折磨自己。。。唯一感到欣慰的是有他一直在我身旁不停的说话。。。不知他会不会渴。。。他不时的说“有车来了进去一点 go left。。。”。。。他还记得我分不清左右。。。不过他有时自己都会把 left right 搞错。。。hahhahhaaa =)
在那好像永无止境的 upslopes 时，我很想放弃。。。不知是在哪个upslope 我停下脚车，想喘口气，没有亭子也没有树。。。我站在那，想坐下可是没有地方可以坐。。。他站在旁边，“靠着我。。。”。。。我靠着他， 等着如和龙。。。“r u ok?”。。。我摇着头。。。他抱着我。。。可以依赖他我很开心。。。
不知道为什么他一直都没放弃我。。。谢谢你。。。
回去的路程虽然有很多 downslopes 可是我的 knees 一开始就有点不对劲。。。在 downslope 我也一直战战兢兢的因为很怕会跌倒。。。一直放不下那心里的恐惧。。。撑到最后的五公里我好想哭。。。膝盖真的好痛好痛。。。我知道如果我停我一定骑不下去，也会哭。。。他问我要不要休息。。。我一直没回答他。。。我知道他有点担心。。。我终于摇了摇头，拼命的骑。。。咬着下唇， 骑呀骑。。。看到 nee, 在那一刻眼泪差点掉下。。。他想拍照可我一心直想马上下车坐下，我叫他去拍，自己先进去。。。一到里面 Alvin 说没有票。。。我没什么感觉，只是很高兴终于骑完了。。。没船也没关系。。。搭 cab loh。。。
后记：他还欠我一只冰棒。。。谢谢大家没有嫌弃我骑得那么慢。。。谢谢 nee 4 organising tis trip。。。我知道如果他不在你们也会照顾我，谢谢。。。谢谢大师兄的熊与鳄鱼笑话。。。谢谢 junwei 的 mini astronomy class。。。谢谢你们那么好笑的尖叫声。。。谢谢那美丽的 nite sky 和 sunrise。。。谢谢大家。。。=)
在那好像永无止境的 upslopes 时，我很想放弃。。。不知是在哪个upslope 我停下脚车，想喘口气，没有亭子也没有树。。。我站在那，想坐下可是没有地方可以坐。。。他站在旁边，“靠着我。。。”。。。我靠着他， 等着如和龙。。。“r u ok?”。。。我摇着头。。。他抱着我。。。可以依赖他我很开心。。。
不知道为什么他一直都没放弃我。。。谢谢你。。。
回去的路程虽然有很多 downslopes 可是我的 knees 一开始就有点不对劲。。。在 downslope 我也一直战战兢兢的因为很怕会跌倒。。。一直放不下那心里的恐惧。。。撑到最后的五公里我好想哭。。。膝盖真的好痛好痛。。。我知道如果我停我一定骑不下去，也会哭。。。他问我要不要休息。。。我一直没回答他。。。我知道他有点担心。。。我终于摇了摇头，拼命的骑。。。咬着下唇， 骑呀骑。。。看到 nee, 在那一刻眼泪差点掉下。。。他想拍照可我一心直想马上下车坐下，我叫他去拍，自己先进去。。。一到里面 Alvin 说没有票。。。我没什么感觉，只是很高兴终于骑完了。。。没船也没关系。。。搭 cab loh。。。
后记：他还欠我一只冰棒。。。谢谢大家没有嫌弃我骑得那么慢。。。谢谢 nee 4 organising tis trip。。。我知道如果他不在你们也会照顾我，谢谢。。。谢谢大师兄的熊与鳄鱼笑话。。。谢谢 junwei 的 mini astronomy class。。。谢谢你们那么好笑的尖叫声。。。谢谢那美丽的 nite sky 和 sunrise。。。谢谢大家。。。=)
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
i dunno how i feel.....
i dunno how i feel or wat i'm tinking at all.....do u feel disappted in me??? seriously i dunno wat i'm feeling at all cos i dun feel at all.....& i dun even tink.....i dunno i dunno i dunno.....i feel sad tt i feel tis way & i feel sad tt i can only tell u tis much....all i know is tt i dun 1 2 hurt u.....i feel so disappted in myself....i like it when i'm wif u.....tt's all tt i know.....i worry when u didnt return....i'm upset when u dun reply......i 1 2 c u when u r away......i look fwd 2 c-ing u.....i like it when u encouraged me....even though i know i wldn't give up....i like it when u try so hard.....i appreciate it....a lot....really....i feel bad....even though u said u enjoyed urself....i really hope u did....i like it when u try 2 make me feel beta....i know u try....i'm juz hard 2 please....i'm sorry....i say tt a lot in my blog....u said sorry.....i dun tink it's necessary....
i dun tink i 1 2 let u read all these....but i'm glad u let me read ur blog....although it's all past entries...at least i got 2 know a little more abt u....even though it's things u've told me b4....not even 2 mths....we dun even know each other 4 >2mths.....serious.....y did we walk so far????have we walked 2 far????my god......i hate myself......
i dun tink i 1 2 let u read all these....but i'm glad u let me read ur blog....although it's all past entries...at least i got 2 know a little more abt u....even though it's things u've told me b4....not even 2 mths....we dun even know each other 4 >2mths.....serious.....y did we walk so far????have we walked 2 far????my god......i hate myself......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
