tt's e bridge i jumped fr...

http://kevan.org/johari?name=tannie2811

not even half way thru' but i'm zapped...

we made it...

stupid inheritance...

we talked abt her over lunch...

we discovered her website...a long ago 1...she seemed ok den...wat happened 2 her??? how did she bec who she is now???

she had a bro...i didnt know tt...had sth happened 2 him??? cos she had never mentioned him b4...sis yes...but bro???

she's scary....she seem 2 've so many diff sides 2 her...so many diff personalities....she's smart & professional 1 moment...she mess things up e nx...4getting wat had been discussed...she's authoritative...she's seeking ur opinion & instructions e nx...she's overly defensive most o e time...she tries 2 b 2 helpful...she speaks things which only she finds funny...she drops 1-liners out o e blue which is totally off e conversation subject...she's insinuating a lot o times...she twists e things she hears...she perceive things in a diff way...she says things which u dunno wat she really 1s u 2 know...

she's so scary...u dunno how she'll turn ard & bit u...

e saddest thing is tt boss is 2 lenient...in e end every1 had 2 pick up shit 4 her....& e reason they cant fire her so easily is cos she hasnt cause any major trouble....& y not? cos we r e 1s rectifying e situation....letting her go scot-free...it feels so stupid...& society is kping her cos they had "inherited" her bond fr her previous employer....duh....stupid...

i dunno...r there more 2 it den it seems???

we almost came 2 e end last nite...i didnt know it wld turn out tis way...tt wasnt wat i had tot...we'll c 2nite....

Dun read below if u r pregnant or gg 2 've baby soon.....it's really horrible.....

ST Feb 22, 2006
Baby & Child
Baby so big he tore mum apart
A new mum was wheelchair-bound for eight months and had to go through four operations. She can never carry her baby - or have another. Lee Hui Chieh reports.

Giving birth to her first baby should have been one of the happiest moments in Mrs Jenny Lim's life, but she was left unable to walk for eight months, incontinent for life and unlikely to have a second child.

Her baby had been too big - 4.3kg at birth - and the doctor eventually had to use a device to suck him out of her, in a process known as vacuum extraction.

Her pelvic bones were forced open so wide, and the ligaments holding the bones together so badly torn, that she could hardly stand and had to sit in a wheelchair for the next eight months.
Her bladder slipped out of place and both her vagina and urethra were ruptured, causing her to suffer from total incontinence, or an inability to control urine flow.

The vagina is the birth canal from which the baby is born, while the urethra is the channel that runs beside it through which urine is discharged from the bladder.

Over the next 11 months, she went through four operations to try to repair the damage.

The first two procedures were unsuccessful. The latest one, in September last year, reduced the extent of her incontinence significantly. Still, the 31-year-old manager will have to rely on sanitary napkins for the rest of her life.

She said: 'In the second trimester, the gynaecologist told me that my baby was considered normal but on the lower end of the range. So I kept eating because I was worried about the weight of my child. It's so ironic.'

The day her son was born, Oct 15, 2004, became what Mrs Lim calls her personal 'Good Friday' - her day of extreme suffering for the love for her child.

She said: 'All I remember was that I saw a lot of people rushing in. Four nurses - two on each side - were pushing my thighs apart and asking me to push with my greatest might.

'I gave a huge push and there was a very sharp pain even though I had been given an epidural and I shouted very loudly. That was when my pelvic bones just gave way, but I had no idea how severe it was.

'One of the nurses screamed at me: 'Quiet! The more you shout, the more painful it will be.' So I tried to control my pain.'

Mrs Lim's concern then was for her son's well-being.

Her engineer husband, Mr K.P. Lim, 34, who was in the delivery room with her, said: 'I saw my son's head come out and I was shocked to see that it was purple. My wife gave a shout and his shoulder came out. He gave two cries and then grew quiet. He refused to cry even when the nurses slapped his feet.'

The vacuum extraction had left the boy's head 'rocket-shaped' and with 'slit eyes', said Mr Lim. These have since returned to normal.

The hospital kept Mrs Lim on the epidural for the rest of that day, after the traumatic labour.

She said: 'When the epidural wore off the second day, I practically couldn't sit up.'

She started to run a high fever and was given antibiotics for it.

An X-ray showed that the joint holding her pelvic bones together in front - known as the symphysis pubis - had been very badly torn, the left and right sections separated by 7.5cm.
She also had tears at two joints in the back of her pelvic girdle, each measuring 2mm.

The pelvic girdle is formed by three major bones that are held together by joints and ligaments to form a circle. The main joints are the symphysis pubis in front and the two at the back are known as the sacroiliac joints.

During pregnancy, the cartilage of the joints is softened by the body's hormones so that the pelvis can stretch and allow the baby to emerge. The normal distance between the two bones is about 4mm to 5mm for a non-pregnant woman, and up to 9mm for a pregnant woman.

It is very rare for women to experience such a wide separation of the symphysis pubis.

An orthopaedic surgeon reassured Mrs Lim that it was nothing to worry about, that the tear would recover naturally and asked her to see him after three weeks.

So after about five days, Mrs Lim went home, wearing a catheter that channelled her urine from her bladder into a bag. Despite that, urine still leaked and she had to use sanitary napkins.

She was 'waddling like a duck', said her husband. Every step made her feel 'like someone was stabbing me with a knife', so she used a wheelchair to move around.

She could not go to work or take care of her baby. Her mother had to quit her job as a nurse to help look after the boy. And after a month, Mrs Lim also moved to her parents' place so that they could take care of her when her husband was at work.

A week or two after her discharge, Mrs Lim returned to the same private hospital and underwent day surgery to stitch up the opening of her urinary tract. But there was no improvement at all.

She turned to KK Women's and Children's Hospital for help. Doctors there tried to reconstruct her urethra by stitching up the torn tissues and muscles. Her condition improved slightly, but she still had to wear diapers that had to be changed every two to three hours because they would be soaked through.

It was back to square one in a month. The stitches had given way.

The Lims were referred to an orthopaedic surgeon and a urologist at Singapore General Hospital. They realised that the problem was that Mrs Lim's pelvic bones were not healing on their own, like most women's do, because her rupture was too serious.

So in April last year, they made a 15cm-long incision down her pelvic area, realigned her bones and bladder and inserted two metal plates to hold the bones together so that the joint in the centre could heal.

There had been a risk of infection and bleeding to death in such a major operation. It was the darkest period of the Lims' lives.

'I felt totally hopeless and had suicidal thoughts,' Mrs Lim said.

'I'd been to see so many doctors but they all said: 'We don't know what to do for you.' I just cried every night and I wondered: How am I going to take care of my son?'

Mr Lim remembers an evening when he returned home alone after visiting his wife at her parents'. Remembering how they used to walk down the path home together every day, he broke down and sat on his sofa in a daze for three to four hours.

He said: 'I imagined what it would be like walking back alone from now on. I was afraid my wife was going to die.'

Luckily the operation went well. About two months later, Mrs Lim was finally able to walk after eight months of moving between bed and wheelchair.

Then, in September, the urologist reconstructed her urethra again and also cut a flap of tissue from her vagina to support it.

Mrs Lim said: 'After the surgery, my whole lower body swelled up like a balloon.'

The swelling lasted for a month, but her condition has since improved greatly - she can get through a day on a pantyliner or sanitary napkin.

She returned to work - partly because her company warned her that it would have to replace her if she did not go back.

'But I will never be back to normal again,' she said.

Her back aches if she sits or stands for too long, and she cannot roll from one side of the bed to the other. She also cannot carry heavy things - her son included.

When she tried to carry the boy, now 13kg, in her arms in June last year, she felt a sharp pain.
One of the metal plates had broken.

The doctor warned her that she should not risk doing that again, and also advised her against having another baby because her pelvis was too fragile to carry another baby to term or to survive another delivery.

'I see other mothers carrying their children, something that they take for granted. It's a luxury that I'll never have,' she said.

'We love children and we had wanted two or three. I'm very sad I won't get a second chance.'

E-mail: huichieh@sph.com.sg

i finished my 1st adventure race...

Aching。。。全身上下都痛。。。完成了2006年的第一个adventure race。。。其实没有完成。。。We missed 1 station cos we were delayed。。。

Starting pt， Youth park。。。Puzzle @ Dhoby Ghaut MRT。。。Poster Q & A @ Fort Canning Battlebox。。。Soccer & skipping rope challenge @ Hong Lim Park。。。Rope climbing @ Duxton Plain Park。。。Rockclimbing @ Climbadventure。。。Cycling @ Marina South。。。Kayaking from Clarke Quay 2 Kallang Basin。。。Bridge jumping @ Oasis Bridge & swim in Kallang river。。。Abseiling @ Shaw Towers。。。Back 2 Youth Park。。。

We miss e abseiling part。。。Btw each challenge we had 2 run 2 e places。。。

跑到脚要断。。。气也快要断了。。。抬起脚都有困难。。。

在Climbadventure等了>1小时。。。要kayak时，不够life vests。。。等了>30分钟。。。

现在连上厕所都有困难！！！哈哈哈。。。我真的很weak！！！

不过真的很好玩！！！尤其是跳桥。。。站在桌子，我hyperventilate！！！脚升出又缩回。。。好害怕！！！站在那里有5mins吧。。。终于闭起眼睛跨出去。。。现在写着，心还是扑通扑通的跳！！！真的好恐怖！！！也挺痛的！！！我想bungee jumping也是这种感觉吧。。。那时skydive 都没有那么怕！！！可能是因为skydive有人和你一起跳，这次要自己跨出第一步。。。

很好的经验。。。=) 我不知道会不会再参加adventure race。。。因为真的很考体力、勇气和毅力。。。去年did NUS biathlon 、Desaru cycling 和diving。。。今年NTU X-Physique。。。接下来不知道会参加什么。。。V 刚刚email another adventure race。。。PA’s Beach Stomp。。。19th Mar。。。Hmmmm。。。不知道会不会参加。。。

Girls u 1 2 join????

stress-o-meter

The pictures attached are used to test the level of stress a person can handle.The slower the pictures move, the better your ability of handling stress. Alleged criminals that were tested see them spinning around madly; However, senior citizens and kids see them standing still.None of these images are animated - they are perfectly static.

spinning

spinning...

is it spinning???

vomitted & diarrhoea & high fever on sun...i tot i was gg 2 b ok after resting on mon...but things dun seem 2 b improving....

breaking down...

Mayb cos i feel v inadequate tt's y so stressed??? mayb tt's y fall sick so easily??? i dunno....there're so many holidays but i dun seem 2 've taken a break at all....i feel so tired so tired....no use complaining but i juz cant help myself....

every wkend had things 2 do...haven really sat down & relax....i'm so tired....& i feel so stressed when i fall sick....there r so many things 2 b done & all e deadlines tt i cant even rest properly when i'm sick....ytd had mc cos o food poisoning...but my whole mind was on wat i haven done...tinking abt how i had messed up my schedule becos o not being able 2 do e things planned....2 studies both seem 2 b running a little late oredi...

i kp telling myself tt i cant let work control me....but....argh....i really really 1 2 rest properly.....but i juz cant take my mind off work....

i cant go on like tis....else i know i'm gg 2 break down anytime....& i cant afford 2 break down....

even planning 4 a break is difficult....argh....

food poisoning over e wkend。。。很不舒服。。。头好像缺氧。。。Very lightheaded 的feeling。。。好像要晕的感觉。。。吃不下。。。会饿可是吃不了多少。。。大概有3+ days 没有胃口。。。HS 说我瘦了。。。可能吧。。。我只觉得很weak。。。很weak。。。

没有答案。。。

哭可以解放压抑的情绪。。。可是当你只能自己哭，而又不能哭出声来。。。那是多么痛苦的？？？你知道吗？？？

隐藏你在哭。。。隐藏哭过的痕迹。。。好难，好辛苦。。。

为什么那么委屈自己？？？直得吗？？？我没有答案。。。

忍。。。

我可不可以告诉你，我有时真的感觉不到。。。我只能相信你。。。可能是骗自己。。。我不知道。。。

很想发你的脾气。。。可是觉得很无理取闹。。。我会要求太多吗？？？

忍。。。

终是为你着想，你有为我想过吗？？？终是迁就你，你有迁就过我吗？？？

我或许比你有时间，这并不代表你不能付出多一点。。。感情是不能衡量可是最终应该有来有往吧？？？

你说我从来都不说。。。我想说时，你在不在呢？？？你问过你自己吗？？？I deserve more don’t I？？？

吞进去。。。

有时真的觉得对自己很不公平。。。为什么要那么为难自己。。。明明是很不开心可是就是要装做没关系。。。很虚伪。。。

知道不是他的错，可是还是不开心。。。而这不开心只能往自己的肚里吞。。。只能装潇洒。。。心里的痛不知如何解决。。。不知告诉自己多少遍他是无能为力的，不要不开心、不要哭，泪还是流。。。

TTM President 的荣衔我很想卸下，可是始终还是被我蝉联。。。

有时很想回到过去。。。没那么多emotions。。。

TTM Club 还没解散吧。。。至少President 还在。。。只是mtg少了吧。。。Member也少了吧？？？