Monday, January 31, 2005

i'll stand by you.....

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
’cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

So if you’re mad, get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you
When you’re standing at the crossroads
And don’t know which path to choose
Let me come along
’cause even if you’re wrong

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you

And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You’re feeling all alone
You won’t be on your own

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you

I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

tis song's by e pretenders originally but i tink girls r loud r doing tis song also...heard tis song quite a lot on radio recently....& i tink it speaks o how i feel towards 3 o my closest friends......even though i may speak w/o tinking & hurt ur feelings u know i dun mean it....i may not b able 2 solve ur problems but i can listen if tt is any consolation....i may not know a lot o things but i can stand by u......
ST Jan 31, 2005

When Mr Right comes at the wrong time
Timing is everything, even in love. And when you are not ready to commit, you could end up regretting it
By Janice Wong

SOMETIMES, timing rather than love decides who we end up being with - or without.

Only some lucky people marry the loves of their lives. The rest marry the most suitable person who comes along when they are ready to settle down.

A friend in his 20s came to this conclusion after confiding in me that he had recently met a woman who is more attractive than his wife, and so occupies his thoughts more often than his wife does.

'If only I had met her before I got married,' he said wistfully.

But I think even if the love of one's life appears when one is single, one may not be in the right frame of mind to recognise him or her as such.

And then love passes by.

Life is littered with near misses and lost opportunities.

I attended my ex-boyfriend's wedding last month, which triggered many memories.

We met five years ago when I was 23 and he 31. It was love at first sight.

He had an established career, was down-to-earth and steadfastly religious.

I was then working as an air stewardess and my head was - literally and metaphorically - in the clouds.

I was also - well, let's put it this way - not religious.

Despite our differences, we were soulmates. We had the same quirky sense of humour and shared long, intense overnight conversations.

But human nature is perverse. When someone is excessively nice to us, we start taking things for granted, instead of appreciating them even more.

My ex sent me to the airport, fixed my PC, reminded me to take health supplements - and go to church.

He had everything I could want in a husband - except that I was not looking for one. A boyfriend was all I could cope with then.

I loved fast cars, danced wildly at Zouk and took off on shopping holidays at a whim. My life revolved around I, me and myself.

In the six months that we were together, he popped the question several times and talked ad nauseam about having children. He wanted us to enrol for a Christian marriage preparation course.

Yes, I did often fantasise about a Vera Wang wedding gown, but I was at that stage of my life when I was more interested in Guess than Baby Guess.

And where - dare I admit it? - I still wanted to meet other men.

So I was a 23-year-old with the emotional maturity of a 13-year-old. Responsibility? Wasn't that for adults?

In short, I met Mr Right at the wrong time.

The more he talked about marriage and religion, the more I felt pressured and the more pressured I felt, the more irritable I became.

I was too impatient to compromise. Every trivial matter blew up as a big deal. My mood obliterated the good in our relationship and reached a point where I just wanted out.

He was heartbroken; I was sad but relieved. He still called me regularly, beseeching me to change my mind.

The calls stopped finally after a year. Now and then, we say 'Hi' via e-mail.

I had a few painful relationships after that. Served me right, as those rude wake-up calls were necessary for me to realise the meaninglessness of my hedonistic high life.

I missed the tenderness of my ex and began having second thoughts.

Perhaps I also felt more urgency to find someone marriageable before my biological clock reached zero hour. It dawned on me that I am not a pixie like Peter Pan who can flit around forever. One day, I'd wake up sick and alone when my fair weather friends flit away.

But I was too proud and too unsure of my ex's reaction to call him until last year.

The first thing he told me excitedly was that he had found The One. My heart tumbled to my feet. So, that's Fate.

If only I could turn back time. If only I had met him later. If only... what feeble words.

These days, I am more circumspect. I have come to terms with my loss. There is nothing I can do about timing, but I can do everything about my choices.

Sometimes, when the nights get lonely, I toy with the idea of marrying a platonic friend of mine, who often assures me earnestly that, if the worst comes to the worst, he'd be willing to marry me.

But I always dismiss that. I have already made one mistake. I should not make another by settling for second best merely for the sake of getting hitched - only to regret it soon after, as the guy who confided in me did.

Hopefully, the best is not over but yet to be.
perhaps if i keep on laughing (which is a form o exercise), i can laugh away e 3 tubs o gelato????
ok u r cute, period.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

double double double double....

i'm gg 2 overdose on happinesss.......

ytd was a great day!!!! everything juz sort o fall into place w/o me planning anything.....a great end 2 ytd was 4 doubles 4 tkd!!!!! all e junior belts got double & all e senior belts passed!!!!!

yay.........

i'm so overdosing on happinesss.....stop being so smug!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm so vb.......tell u gals after pilates......

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

he's cute btw....heehehheee...

shld have asked more qns but i didn't....there'll b a next time!


i 1 2 finish my article by 2day...but i doubt my own efficiency.... it's juz 2 cold down here 4 me 2 really concentrate on wat i shld b writing.....shld i go grab another coffee???? i shldn't b drinking so much coffee.....bad 4 my throat & i've running nose......

1 2 hear sam's voice!!!! i missed it tt day!!!!! hahhaaaa.......ultra r u still in cloud 9?????

i was down in e pits e last few days but 2 day i put all o CSEW behind.....i'm gg 2 concentrate on reliability........

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

i must have jinxed myself.......shoot.......

Monday, January 24, 2005

smetimes i dun understd myself.....y i did things i've done.....y i feel e way i m......i'm so tired 2day....i tink i feel a fever coming up......i shldn't have binge on e Mcdonalds......i shldn't have stuff myself wif food 2 feel beta.....i dun feel any beta after all e food.....tmr's gid.....if i'm a bitch or if i'm not responsive pls 4give me......i'm really not in e mood....

i'm supposed 2 not take it personally but i did.....y can't he c my pt???? y r e others not replying???? i feel so shit.....made me doubt myself.......i tink i juz got off e wrong side o my bed.....i'm juz dwelling 2 much.......haizzzz.....sore throat....shoot......i hate it man......

how shld i make my next move?????is there smething wrong wif my research style????
Jan 24, 2005, P 8

Grief for brain-dead girl unites Taiwanese
Four-year-old dies two weeks after being beaten by father and rejected by hospitals
By Lawrence Chung
Taiwan Correspondent

TAIPEI - MOST Taiwanese forgot their political differences yesterday to grieve for a four-year-old girl finally declared brain dead after two weeks of fruitless treatment.

A group of doctors and prosecutors determined the girl - denied treatment by several hospitals in Taipei after being severely beaten by her drunken father - was brain dead and said her heart, livers and kidneys would be donated to others 'with the agreement of her parents'.

Soon after the announcement by Mr Tung Jui-nien, head of the Tungs' Metro Harbor Hospital in Taichung, operations began to save the girl's vital organs for designated recipients.

Her tearful mother had taken about 24 hours to agree to signing the organ-donation letter.

'Before she signed, she touched the girl's little hands, her feet and body again and again,' said a second hospital spokesman.

The media reported that her father, awaiting trial in jail over the case, had tremblingly said he regretted what he had done to the girl, surnamed Chiu, when told of her possible brain death on Saturday. He will now face a manslaughter charge.

Dozens of concerned parents - total strangers to the girl - who had gathered outside her hospital room cried upon hearing she could not live.

Cards, flowers and toys from well-wishers had packed the girl's room since Jan 10 when news of her plight broke over local television.

It detailed how the father had smashed her against a wall until she fell into a coma and how she had subsequently been rejected by Taipei hospitals.

Six hours were wasted before the girl was finally admitted to the Metro Harbor Hospital. Later it was discovered there had been rooms available in Taipei's other hospitals.

Two doctors from Jen-Ai Hospital, where the girl was sent immediately after the violence, could be facing a jail term. They were on duty on Jan 10 but decided not to admit the girl.

The reports sparked a public uproar, forcing Taipei Mayor Ma Ying-jeou to replace the city's health director and cancel his own trip to Australia, his popularity dented.

A sullen Mr Ma said yesterday: 'This unfortunate case has triggered public concern over the severity of the child-abuse problem...and the need to reform Taiwan's medical system.'

But he said Chiu's brief life had not been a waste if every Taiwanese could learn a lesson from her tragedy.

Mr Ma's city government has ordered that no hospital in Taipei is to arbitrarily transfer seriously ill or injured patients.

A welfare system has also been set up to help abused children and ensure good hospital treatment.

On Saturday, President Chen Shui-bian, a political rival of Mr Ma, urged government agencies to apply to the hilt laws and regulations on children's welfare and provide youngsters with better health care and treatment.


i hate it when pple say e words highlighted in pink.....we learn a lesson fr a tragedy....do things have 2 turn bad b4 we can learn smething? i hate tis rationale.....
i was supposed 2 b so happy tis morning.....had a wonderful weekend.....

but.......

e 1st email i read tis morning.....made me feel so sad.....so angry....so disappointed......i worked so hard.....i admit i shld have cleared my doubts rite fr e beginning but how was i supposed 2 know wat i was supposed 2 know???? i wldn't know wat 2 ask until i've read/researched......

so upset......

his email sounded like i shld have done my research properly......tt i didn't put in effort 2 do my work properly.....he asked if i received his latest email.....regarding mtg on sats....he make me sound so stupid.....so unorganised abt e schedules....i didn't 1 2 b impolite so i wrote in my email tt 1 o e RAs didn't 1 2 have it on weekends...can't he read between e lines??? i'm trying my hardest 2 b polite......

y m i so upset????

haizzzzz.....

tis is e shittest day ever since i started work at scs.....

feel so sad........juz 1 email & i feel so bad......mayb it's juz tt i'm tired....didn't sleep 2 well last nite.....mayb juz tt i'm not feeling 2 well....been staying up late, staying in e sun 2 much & not eating properly......

Thursday, January 20, 2005

excerpt fr conversation at swensons....

"u take e banana & i'll take e balls...."

sounds sinister???? hahahhaaa.....

they were talking abt e banana crumble & e chocolate malt ice cream....hehheee but taken out o context...really hmmmmm....

hehheeee...

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

finally i found e ans....

Goat meat is sometimes called chevon

mutton, lamb, sheep, goat.....

fr dictionary.com

sheep:

Any of various usually horned ruminant mammals of the genus Ovis in the family Bovidae, especially the domesticated species O. aries, raised in many breeds for wool, edible flesh, or skin.

goat:

Any of various hollow-horned, bearded ruminant mammals of the genus Capra, originally of mountainous areas of the Old World, especially any of the domesticated forms of C. hircus, raised for wool, milk, and meat.

lamb:

a. A young sheep, especially one that is not yet weaned.
b. The flesh of a young sheep used as meat.
c. Lambskin.

mutton:

The flesh of fully grown sheep.


so wat do u call e meat fr a goat???? mutton????

so when we have e mutton curry, which animal is it from???

Monday, January 17, 2005

m i such a "taken 4 granted" thing????

can any1 appreciate me????

y do i even bother?????

if u dun 1 2 go pls say it out straight....dun have 2 go 1 big round....

waste o my time.....

so tt's y i'm offline....

seriously i dun really 1 2 care abt how u feel loh.....

i dunno if u know i'm so pissed.....

i dunno y i must b so pissed.....

dun even bother talking 2 me......dun waste my time.....i tink i can do much more things.....

i sound so angry.....i dunno y but really dun 1 2 bother....dunno if u know who i'm referring 2 but i juz 1 2 voice it out.....

ST Jan 15, 2005, P 10

Trauma shows up in drawings and hallucination
GALLE (SRI LANKA) - PALESTINIAN children drew pictures of Israeli helicopters spitting gunfire when the intifada began; under the Taleban, Afghan children drew pictures of Islamic militants gunning down civilians.

In Sri Lanka these days, they are drawing dead bodies floating in giant waves.
'It's normal, children draw what they're experiencing,' said Dr Ajith Durusinghe, medical officer in charge of the Unawatuna psychiatric hospital in the tsunami-battered southern town of Galle.

'Children can't verbalise their feelings, so they use crayons and paper instead. It's an emotional release.'

Nursery school principal Chandra Koralage said the four-year-olds in her school, attached to the Kovillagodalla Buddhist temple here, had been 'unusually quiet'.

'They don't say much at all. They quietly play with handicrafts - and they draw a lot.'

Psychiatrist Manoj Kumara of Galle's Karapitiya Hospital said no one was sure of the Dec 26 tsunamis' long-term impact on the children of Sri Lanka, where more than 30,800 have been killed and nearly a million left homeless.

With relatives missing, homes swept away and familiar neighbourhoods turned into wastelands, it is clear that there has been great trauma.

Many people will develop what is called post-traumatic stress disorder. Symptoms include nervousness, insomnia and excessive worrying.

With children making up the biggest number of casualties, parents are expected to be wracked with guilt.

'If it's a case of a mother having been forced to give up one child to save another, the stress will be tremendous,' said Ms Linda Lam, a professor of psychiatry at Hong Kong's Chinese University.

In Thailand, tales of ghost sightings in the six worst-hit southern provinces have become endemic.

Spooked volunteers searching for bodies in the resort areas of Phi Phi Island and Khao Lak are reported to have looked for tourists heard laughing and singing on the beach, only to find darkness and empty sand.

Experts warn that it could be a result of mass trauma after living through the deadly waves and witnessing horrific scenes in their aftermath.

'This is a type of mass hallucination that is a cue to the trauma being suffered by people who are missing so many dead people, and seeing so many dead people, and only talking about dead people,' said Thai psychologist and media commentator Wallop Piyamanotham. \-- AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE

ytd, my parents were talking abt e ghost-sightings at e disaster-hit places....i was rather sceptical abt it.....as it is, being psychology-trained, i didn't really tink there was such a thing as ghost...rather, i believe in dimensions.....when u die, u die....however there may b another u in another dimension & u r still very much alive there....smetimes we can accidentally step into e other dimensions & tt's when pple tink they r seeing smething supernatural.....i believe tt when u r emotionally & psychologically overloaded, u start 2 imagine a lot o things.....e neurons in ur brain r firing ever so fast & rapid tt e receptors may get all screwed up....all e hormones may also b cocked up....so tt's when u sense so many things which may juz b some hallucinations/illusions.....& i tink pple's minds r very active, they can conjure up anything......e sightings....i believe it's more o a psychological thing rather than supernatural.....

Thursday, January 13, 2005

wonderful colleague :)

tt's how she describe herself lah.....i dunno wat i shld describe her la....i'm teaching her abt blogs & she 1s 2 know how 2 post smething on e blog....ok she is looking at me type all these things....ok we'll try posting now.....

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

hoping for gd news 2nite....

everything sucks 2day!!!! i was pretty happy & ready 2 go 2day when i came into office....but things juz didn't turn out as gd as e day went by......1st i knocked myself on e desk....a big balugu i got.....ouch.....still painful.....juz as things were looking up, my boss say probably send me or another colleague 2 USA 2 attend a conference....i hope it'll b me but tt will mean a lot o extra work.....i've oredi have a huge load on me.....wat wif my pri study gg a slightly different direction, an article waiting 2 b edited b4 being published, & o cos e conference at e end o e yr......& e tsunami relief work by e dragonboat community....i shldn't b doing so much things......y does things always come at e same time???? i'm so stressed.....& tis stupid article doesn't have e scale 1 1ed!!!! wat a waste o all e effort i put into finding it!!!!! 2 mtgs tmr....i hope everything ends well.....another mtg on fri......stressed......& e result 4 y tis day sucks!!!!! cos e stupid email doesn't work!!!! & my emails which i was rushing cldn't get 2 my boss!!!! then tt stupid cybersite pple & e lanworks pple went on their taichi moves!!!!! i was so angry!!!! i shldn't have got myself involved cos i'm not e IT person in my dept......wasted half o my afternoon away......now i've 2 4go a free ride 2 my tkd 2 do my things which i was supposed 2 do if i wasn't caught up wif e IT!!!!!! shoot.......& i'm 2 stoned 2 do work now......& i'm wasting my time blogging.......shoot........

i hope tt there'll b gd news at tkd 2nite.....i hope there're sme doubles after e grading......i hope.....

Sunday, January 09, 2005

wat m i doing....

at my sis' place.....my nephew's bday......had tkd grading 2day....finally over....seniors said out o e 4 o us bound 2 've at least sme1 getting a double......i hope it's me but i dun tink i did very well.....

anyway, there's a whole load o pple inside tis room playing rummy-o while i'm blogging away down here....1 o my bro-in-law's niece is watching me as i type tis blog......

anyway, i'm rather sleepy cos i woke up early....was rather stressed last nite cos o e grading.....waited 4 quite sme time 4 my grading, e grp in front o us was unusually slow....e examiner kept asking them 2 re-do....wah liao.....brown belt leh.....they kick like shit....but they r kids la.....so ok loh.....

anywayz.....pple wayching me blog a bit stress....beta log off.....


Friday, January 07, 2005

wat do u do....

wat do u do when e man u r gg 2 marry cheats on u????

it's been in a span o last than 6 mths, & i came across 2 friends who found out tt their man cheated on them.......
fr my boss--3

probably wld b useful 2 any1 working wif children......since e disaster affects not juz those directly hit by e tsunamis.....

There are many websites dedicated to dealing with trauma/disasters, including this one. http://www.trauma-pages.com/pg5.htm
Also, Ricky Greenwald's - he specialises in treating children. http://www.childtrauma.com/index.html

The way in which people process such traumatic events normally is to go over and over them in their minds, tell the story over and over until the feelings are all worked through. Some people go through this process without developing PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) or needing therapy. With the enormity of this disaster and with the losses and subsequent stresses, such a process may take many months or some years to fully work through. The children who are suffering from acute stress mayor may not develop PTSD.

In my experience when I work with children, I find that they often know best how to work through their memories, emotions, grief and fears given adequate support. Some approaches I use include the following, depending on the child (and these could be used with groups)

1. Cognitive Behavioural approach to trauma (older children). An adult outlines the basic facts of the story of what happened (basic info about the fact that there was an earthquake, an earthquake of the magnitude that rarely occurs, and that it caused the huge Tsunami, so that the missing knowledge is supplied and the children understand better. It is important that the information is factual and does not minimise their experience, grief, suffering or fear, but also normalises their reactions. Address the exact questions asked, briefly and clearly to prevent confusions and misunderstandings. These questions are likely to move into the details of the affects of the Tsunami. Keeping this at a cognitive level as much as possible at first, helps prevent further trauma. Then each of the children can begin to tell the story from their personal perspectives, gradually putting it all together and making some sort of sense of it.

During this stage for healing to occur it is essential that each child feel sufficient emotion for processing, but NOT be overwhelmed by emotion/pain etc. or secondary traumatisation may occur. Every child will move at his or her own pace of course.

2. Drawing or other play approaches for younger children. Again, each child needs to know the basic facts. Each child drawing the event from his or her own perspective and doing whatever he or she wants to the drawing ensures that individuals deal with their feelings at their own pace. They may need to draw many pictures over a period of time. Some may want to "re-enact" the event with water etc. in a sand pit. Again the level of arousa lneeds to be monitored and enough individual support provided (by a significant adult if at all possible). Some children may choose to use symbolic things to deal with their traumatic experiences (for there would be many related to the Tsunami).

3. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be most effective if there are counsellors trained to use it.

4. Narrative Therapy is another approach.

guidelines for wellbeing of children--tsunami disaster....

fr boss---2

Psychosocial aspects of the Tsunami Disaster
What you can do to support children in disaster areas

§ For children, being able to trust at least one adult who can take care of them can pull them through stressful times. Therefore, helping children to maintain relationships with a family member or known person is very important.

§ It is not always the event that can have a psychological and emotional impact on the child, but the lack of emotional support, separation from parents or family, taken out of familiar context and community, and grief and distress of parents and adults in the aftermath of the disaster event.

§ Do not remove or separate children from family members. Do not separate siblings. If family members are missing try to keep the child with someone he/she knows and trusts and support that caregiver and child.

§ Identify informal care systems that exist in the community (relatives or neighbours taking care of children), and find out if traditional care systems have been affected by crises/disaster.
§ Moving a child from such informal care arrangements provided by the community or other family members could bring additional distress. A child should be moved only if the assessment shows that the child is suffering from emotional or physical abuse, exploitative labour, neglect, poor care or abandonment from these new care givers.

§ Provide economic, social and emotional support to these informal arrangements so that the child can remain in familiar surroundings and within relationships that they trust.

§ Children should be informed of care arrangements and be consulted in decision-making processes about their care.

§ Be honest and open about the disaster. Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know” and keep discussions about the their experiences open and honest.

§ In cases of children being separated from family members or siblings collect as much information as possible from the child, from the people the child was found with, and relatives/friends/school teachers. Give this information to groups documenting and working on missing people. If possible take a photograph of the child and attach to the file.

§ It is important to document all possible information as soon as the child is found. Please register separated children with relevant government authorities such as child probation offers, local police stations, divisional secretariats, etc. Record the following information: Name and pet name(whatever the child remembers), Age, Sex, Address or Village name, Names of family members, relatives (in the area and outside the area), friends and neighbours, Name of school, occupation of parents, where the child is located currently and where he/she may be moved.

§ Show the child to adults and children from the area that may recognise him/her before moving the child anywhere.

§ Establish a location where adults can also provide information about missing children and maintain detailed database on this.

§ If children are being moved for some unavoidable reason provide children with identity tags (with the above information), provide drivers of vehicles transporting children with rosters of names and other details of children, register children in location they are being moved from and give clear information about where they are being moved to. At all times, attempt to keep children close to their homes or at least within the town or district.

§ Try to involve older children and adolescents in activities carried out in the camp/displaced community – such as distributing goods, documenting information, caring for younger children etc.

§ All notices and information provided should be in simple language so that a child of 12 years can understand and follow it.

§ Be sensitive to special needs or adolescent girl children, such as menstruation, special clothing and undergarments, toilet facilities and safety.

§ Try to maintain a daily routine (however basic such as regular eating and sleeping times) for the child as much as possible.

§ If someone comes to claim a child, make sure that the child is able to identify the person. In all cases, take down information (ID number, address, contact details) of the person claiming the child prior to handing the child over. Remember that some people may be trying to take advantage of the situation to exploit such vulnerable children.

§ Anxiety, crying, sleeplessness, sadness, anger, restlessness, withdrawal, being very active, grief, shock, emotional numbness or expression is part of any normal human response to extremely stressful or dangerous situations.

§ Important: These are normal and expected reactions from children and should not be treated as a major psychological trauma or pathological reactions needing professional help.

§ Respect children’s responses and allow them time and opportunities to express them in a way that they are comfortable with.

§ Attend to immediate needs of the children and be supportive.

§ Be sensitive to children with special needs, such as children with disabilities.

§ Be kind, calm, and attempt to explain everything that is being done, even if you are not sure that they understand you.

Reference: Separated Children: Care and Protection of Children in Emergencies A Field Guide. Save the Children Federation 2004

This document has been drafted by the Psychosocial Support Programme of the IWTHI Trust. Please send in your comments and feedback to pspcp@eol.lk. If you have any concerns or clarifications, please call 011 4516408 or 0777423445.
31st December 2004










Psychosocial Aspects of the Tsunami Disaster

Got e following fr my boss....

Psychosocial Aspects of the Tsunami Disaster
What You Can Do Right Now to Support Wellbeing

People in these areas may be experiencing many different emotional and physical responses at this time. Some of these responses include confusion, fear, hopeless, sleeplessness, crying, difficulty in eating, headaches, body aches, anxiety, and anger. They may be feeling helpless; some may be in a state of shock; others may be aggressive, mistrustful, feeling betrayed, despairing, feeling relieved or guilty that they are alive, sad that many others have died, and ashamed of how they might have reacted or behaved during the critical incidents. There may be some experiencing a sense of outrage, shaken religious faith, loss of confidence in themselves or others, or sense of having betrayed or been betrayed by others they trusted.

These are all normal reactions to extremely dangerous or stressful situations. They do not mean that these people are traumatised, mentally disturbed or mentally ill.

You may be able to support people get through these normal reactions while meeting their basic and other practical needs by following the suggestions below.

DOs
§ Do listen to people who share their stories, if necessary again and again.
§ Do be friendly, compassionate and caring, even if people are angry or demanding.
§ Do give practical help or assistance to people as and when required.
§ Do help people to contact others either through post or making telephone calls on their behalf.
§ Do engage people in meeting their own needs.
§ Do find out where the government and non-government services are located and direct people to the appropriate services available in the area.
§ Do understand the emotions of people who have suffered losses, and take them seriously. There is no right or wrong way for people to feel, given the horrific situation.
§ Do give reliable information about what tsunamis are and how they occur. This will help people understand the situation.
§ Do protect people from further harm, as they may be vulnerable to assault and abuse by those who are taking advantage of the chaotic situation.

DON’Ts
§ Don’t force people to share their stories with you, especially very personal details. If they don’t want to talk much, do not disturb them.
§ Don’t tell people what you think they should be feeling, thinking or doing.
§ Don’t make promises about what you will do for them, if you are not sure about this.
§ Don’t give simple reassurances to people, saying ‘everything will be ok’, or ‘at least you have survived’ or ‘others have suffered more than you’.
§ Don’t tell people why you think they have suffered, especially giving reasons about their personal behaviours or beliefs.
§ Don’t tell people what you think they should have or could have done, whilst in the critical situation, especially to save loved ones.
§ Don’t criticise existing services and activities being carried out in these areas, especially in front of people who are in need of these services. Support the service providers to make the services better.
§ Don’t separate surviving family members and relatives from one another, if possible, especially children.
§ Don’t label people as traumatised.

This document has been drafted by the College of Psychiatry, Colombo and the Psychosocial Support Programme of the IWTHI Trust. Please send in your comments and feedback to pspcp@eol.lk. If you have any concerns or clarifications, please call 011 4516408 or 0777423445.

lame vs funny

e line between being lame & funny is really blur......

singlish.....so damned funny....

fr http://www.talkingcock.com/html/lexec.php?op=LexView&lexicon=lexicon

CORRIGHT
The proper and correct Singlish pronunciation of 'correct'; illustrates how Singlish can combine two related words, creating a new word with improved potency. Often used as a response when the truth is glaringly obvious.

OR-BI-GOOD (Contributed by Roger Ng)
Not the name of a Singaporean Jedi Knight, this is a Singlish term which is used to express that someone deserves his current predicament. Often said while making an action like a chicken flapping its wing, with arm curled, and the elbow hitting one's side. Of unknown derivation.
"Ah Seng is such a ya-ya papaya. Now he fail his 'N' Level, or-bi-good!"

BIN CHOW CHOW
Hokkien phrase literally meaning, "smelly face". Used to describe someone with a grumpy look and sour disposition.
"I do'wan to talk to him, lah. He always so bin chow chow one."

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Row for a Cause

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

happy....

i'm quite happy wif my job at SCS......(i hope i dun jinx it....) i'm busy wif lit search & also e numerous journal articles tt i've 2 read......but i'm happy wif it actually......i'm weird!!!!

Sunday, January 02, 2005

050101

didn't get 2 c e stars.....didn't get 2 c e sunrise.....but i was happy, contented, & a really serene peace enveloped my heart when we left 2 have lunch......smehow i tink i started 2005 wif smething really gd!!!! i started 2005 wif peace in my heart.....even though i shed my 1st tears, i felt really gd.....my eyes stung when i cried.....i didn't know y i cried in e 1st place.....then i cried cos e others were crying......

i dunno y we have such camaraderie.....e 4 o us....smehow we seem 2 have endless 2 talk abt.....smehow i can speak fr my heart wif u......e 4 o us......so different......i dunno how 2 describe e 4 o us......we can b so lame at times yet speak wif so much truth & enlightenment.....i tink we have mo qi......take e WLD game.......no matter how ugly e drawings r, we seem 2 know wat 1 another is drawing.......

i'm glad tt i've such a friendship......i doubt any1 in e world cld b as fortunate as me......

i've grown up a lot......talking 2 u......i tink i grew up.......

i seriously hope tt we can have another overnite chat.......everytime we talk i grow up......i become more aware o myself......

torchic---e 3 pple i mention in ur letter, i tink e 1 i took advantage o, i tink i may not 1 2 treat as a friend only.....i was a little sad & worried 4 him when i know where he went.....he's a gd person....is it compassion or smething more? i dunno.......

ultra---who did u get 2 know more???? us???? or sme1 significant?????

owl---i'm glad tt u took e step......i dunno if i'm in any position 2 tell u abt love......but u can count on me 2 lend u my shoulders......

P.S. shld we pop down 2 bintan 1 o these days???? i 1 2 c e stars........e shooting stars......