mole...

there's an interesting article regarding moles on e body...

http://www.wofs.com/fsw.php?load=arcview&article=756&c=miscellaneous

i dunno la...really...haizzz...

smetimes i really pity her...but tt doesnt mean tt i agree tt she shld stay on...i tink e boss had been giving her way 2 much chance...ok she's not as bad as L...but...she's a bigger muddlehead den any o us...& tt cld really get on e nerves o every1...

& i really 1ed 2 jump on her once...e only gd tt she cld redeem herself is her IT knowledge...but currently e connection here sucks & nth much cld b done & it sort o diminish her role even more given tt she cant solve e problem...

i dunno if she's given 2 much things 2 do or not...

like me, when i've 2 many things 2 handle i miss out details...

i really dunno...she always say she knows, she will do it...etc...but in e end things not done...& others r fretting over it...& when e boss tells her she say she'll improve...haizz..it's been once 2 many times oredi loh...

e 2 yrs tt i've been here...she has not handled things as well as wat she's supposed 2...i cant say she sucks but she's not doing e best o jobs...i wonder if she realises it...

i really hope tt she look 4 sth else...cos it's really not her forte here...

i can understd their hostility...& e gossiping...i did e same when L was such a pain in my ass...

i dunno la...i tink it's really time she look 4 sth else...i hope e boss had done sth...else it's putting a strain on others...

when i heard tt e boss wld b giving both her & me an extra half/1 day off cos o our involvemt in special proj, i smehow felt tt e measuremt yardstick was broken...

she worked hard....but it's cos she was not organised enough 2 complete e things...i worked hard cos there was so much 2 do...i dunno mayb i dunno wat she had done...

althought e extra time-off can never compensate 4 e amt o time tt i put in, it sort o gave recognition 2 e work tt i've done....it's supposed 2 b reflected in e appraisal, & appraisal is linked 2 wage increment!!!

i hope i get due recognition...

felt e tremours on wed...kind o scary...& we knew smrt was doing sme constructions...1st tot nichol highway...e trembling lasted 4 quite sme time...felt it again ytd...e ans tt e management gave:

"LTA engineer has clarify that the vibration comes from the vibration roller from the National Library as they are carrying out some road works over at our carpark entrance.

There is no need for any evacuation.

In any case of emergency that requires a total evacuation, our building fire alarm bell will sound continues. Upon hearing that then an evacuation is require.

We will follow up closely with our surrounding contractors on their activities."


i'm feeling e tremblings now again...but e roller machine is not moving at all.....hmmm...

i dun 1 2 die ah....not cos o sme stupid construction...

i can finally sit down 2 a proper meal...ahhhh....it feels really wonderful...

but i guess it will only last no more den a wk...cross my fingers...

i'm starting 2 get e jitters even b4 it starts...

i guess all women r e same...i guess it's e hormones...i guess we feel loneliness more emotionally...

finally...i sort o got sme reprievation...

ytd's mtg...finally finally...Prof E...he finally said e golden words...not outright, but definitely e message was out...

at least pple recognise e hardship & hardwork...i hope i get due recognition (in monetary forms i hope..)

fact 1: i hate chain-mail, so i'm not playing e blog tagging game ;p

Colic G:

now i know who e smartest is...now den i know...really v late...so tis is wat life is...really v naive...shld 've trusted tt nagging feeling in my heart...dogs tt dun bark really is e scariest...y didnt i get it when u told me...

click on e pic 2 enlarge..

wat's wrong???

i took a break ytd...hoping 2 recover fr tt irritating strain in my eyes & tt constant dull throbbing headache...& also 2 catch up on sme really needed slp...

i really wonder wat is wrong...e doc said tt it was probably e strain in my eyes tt caused my "muscle tension headache"...he precribed muscle relaxant medication which really knocked me out...& also sme medication 2 aid digestion...i've not been able 2 hold down much food...i get realy hungry but i've no appetite...& after eating, i get really sick...juz felt like throwing up, or it felt like e food was stuck btw my throat & tummy...

haizz...

red...

my eyes have these red veins all e time...i'm starting 2 get a bit worried...it's been quite sme time oredi, but i dismiss it cos i've been working on e com 4 v long hrs these past few wks...but these few days, i can really hardly open my eyes w/o feeling pain in them in e morn...tt day i had a really bad headache & i went 2 e doc... e 1st thign tt e doc noticed were my eyes...i started 2 b more conscious of them & i'm beginning 2 worry....

胡姬花。。。

坐在外面。。。看着那胡姬花。。。好漂亮。。。阿婆种了好多东西。。。她走了谁来照顾呢？？？家里的东西怎么办？？？想起公公和干妈。。。他们的东西怎么了？？？

突然想起妈妈。。。如果有一天她走了怎么办呢？？？马上把这想法忘了。。。人就是这样吧？？？可能是我吧。。。不想想不好的东西。。。

大舅安好了阿婆，走出来。。。拿起了水喉，浇起了花。。。会有人想起阿婆做的事吧。。。

每个人都有不一样的反应。。。

我想dear和阿姨比较感性吧。。。

阿姨从我看到她到最后一天她一直忙东忙西。。。应该是想让自己尽一点最后孝心送给阿婆。。。阿婆走了。。。她应该是最寂寞的。。。阿婆应该最不放心她。。。每个人都有另一半安慰。。。她只能安慰自己。。。每个人都觉得她做得太多。。。可能这就是安抚自己的最佳办法。。。大家的脾气都不是很好。。。熬太多夜了吧。。。不过最后大家还是一家人。。。

dear也是一样。。。我知道他很想做多一点，让阿婆感受到最后的一点孝心。。。dear，阿婆知道的。。。

她最后一程没有我想像的那么难过。。。可能是大家接受了她会离去。。。自己在家里。。。会难过。。。可能是想起了公公和干妈。。。当时真的好难过。。。到现在都还会想起。。。当时不知流了多少的泪水。。。可能是这些复杂的情绪惹得我很烦。。。让我不知如何。。。

smetimes...

smetimes i really wonder...he believes things tt i dun...mayb i'm overly sceptical...i dunno...smetimes i feel tt it wld b beta if we believe in e same things...

smetimes i cant help but tink tt he's juz 2 young...2 young 4 many things...he tinks he's mature enough...but i dun agree...but i dun say it in his face...but i guess my face showed it all...

smetimes when i juz 1 him 2 b more aware o how i feel...even though i dun understd myself tt much...smetimes i juz wish he cld say smething more den wat he did...smetimes i juz wish tt he cld shut up...when he does...i wonder y he kps 2 himself & not care abt me more...

smetimes he say things which i feel he isnt putting his heart in...he's juz saying 4 e sack o saying...pls dun...i can feel it...

smetimes he juz dun understd my mood...y i cry..y i ignore him...smetimes i wish he cld juz know w/o having me 2 say everything...

smetimes i wish u dun juz ask me how i m 2day....smetimes i wish u dun ask me if i've anything 2 say 2 u...smetimes i wish u dun ask me if anything is wrong...cos e ans is so obvious...

smetimes i wish i wasnt so rash...

smetimes....

i look ugly...

it's amazing tt pple actually noticed tt i'm in e show!! haha...u'll c me again in e same show on wed...i'm sitted at e same place in e boat again!! haha...e person tt they interviewed is not part o our team, but his members were not avail tt day so he came 2 row wif us...we r trying 2 c if we can team our deaf and e visually handicapped together as a team...tt'll b interesting..

很巧。。。他的外婆和她的堂弟都在同一个parlour。。。星期六应该会去送她最后一程。。。

看到她那无声的躯体有种莫名的感伤。。。一直安慰自己她离开了痛苦。。。为她祈福、送她到极乐。。。

他也是一直安慰自己。。。

很想去陪他。。。很想时间快点过。。。可是analysis还没做完。。。arghhhh。。。

bye bye...

真的是太巧了。。。可能就是要他回去看她最后一面吧。。。

刚买不到一星期、穿不到3次，鞋就坏了。。。他不得得回去换。。。

他应该很难过吧。。。我仿佛 在他的简讯里听到他哽咽的声音。。。我很想在他身边。。。我知道他一定是一副大哥哥的模样到处安慰其他的人。。。

她走了。。。放下痛苦了吧。。。希望她到极乐世界。。。不必担心。。。安息。。。再见啊婆。。

好累好累。。。每天都要六点半起来。。。真的好累。。。两个星期来都一直伤透脑筋做analysis。。。好多东西做。。。2 big projects & all e mini analysis。。。i’m seriously thinking tt i’m underpaid & not tt much appreciated。。。haizzzz。。。

argh...

wat m i doing in office now??? i'm officially off work at 530...but i'm still working...cos i nd 2 rush a report out tis thu...& i've not finished...argh...& i dun tink i can finish in time...argh...

& wat m i doing blogging instead o analysing??? cos my mind's a blank...argh....

i overslpt tis morn....i woke up at 730...tt was e time i was supposed 2 've left my home in order 2 b on time 4 work...argh...i called in late....intending 2 juz take 1 hr off, but i cld claim time-off 4 e wed cos i've 2 attend e interviewer trg 4 my pri study...

& e thing tt sucks e most is tt, after doing all e hard work...i dun get 2 go 4 e presentation in UK...argh....unjust i can say....but wat can i do??? we r VWOs (Voluntary Welfare Organisations)...we r NGOs (Non-Profit Organisations)....so we cannot afford 2 send every1 over...damned....& cos i'm not e principal investigator....i dun get 2 go....but wat i can say is tt w/o e analysis part e presentation wld b nth...

4 pple r scheduled 2 go....e other project which was accepted at e conference (2 presentors cos 1 o them happened 2 b pregnant & she might not go so her RA was put on e list...); my boss; & e current project's presentor....

haizzz....i m v disappointed...i was so hopefully tt i wld get 2 go....but all is dashed...haizzzz....

i tolf HN abt it...he said i shld 've "zheng qu"....but how???? it's not tt i dun 1...but how....

my boss said tt i shld let pple know my feelings...tt i shldnt hide my feelings, tt i shldnt juz shoulder e burden alone....but wat can b done even if i cry & make a big fuss???since nth can b done shldnt i juz take it???haizzz......

no doubt i'm sad....no doubt tt i cry...but wat can i do???