advance OP - tioman pics

these pics long overdued..no time 2 find out wat these nudibranchs call...

tis trip not bad...alot o big big stuff..we stayed at e same resort as e 1st time tt i went 2 tioman..

i'm especially delighted 2 've spotted e pink nudibranch & e super giant octopus myself..heheh (head big big..) hahaha..cos even e DM also never c...ever when i pointed e thing out 2 pple, they also cant c e octopus..only when e octopus started 2 move den they saw..haha...

try 2 spot where e octopus is in pic 3... try 2 c if u can c e stonefish...was so fat & bloated...& tt rose look-alike thing, it's actually 2 chelidurna...they r i'm guessing mating...tonnes & tonnes o them all over in tioman...c until no1 interested in it anymore...ahha...;p

bao to queen???

i've been complaining a lot abt my job 2 friends...haizzz...2 busy also complain..2 free also complain...

i dunno if i shld juz enjoy e freedom here..but it juz goes agst my conscience leh...

or mayb it's cos i feel tt i'm v left out / ostracise in e off...

it's both i tink...

& i hate it tt i put in so much effort in my work, while they r playing boardgames/gg gym/ or simply juz eating snakes blatantly in office...e least they cld do is really juz go inside e room & play quietly la..dun disturb me when i'm busy msn-ing/researching...

really i dunno wat 2 do...shld i juz bao to them??? i dun tink so la...

haizzz....so bo liao 2 've 2 tink abt such issues...

when it's time 2 go...

i always try 2 tink tt e person who passed away will b gg 2 a beta place...they've finished their work on earth...& they've gone 2 rest...gone 2 a beta place...

it's never easy 2 face death...i hate it...but inevitably we have 2 face it...

wif it we always face remorse...remorse at y we haven spent more time wif them...

i still cant handle death well..no matter how many times i've faced e issue...

it takes time 2 get over pain...alot o time...but u'll never 4get...

Tioman trip video...

Nudi in action...

dedication 2 J...

was randomly looking at my old blog posts when i came 2 a post on a song lyrics tt i posted almost 3 yrs ago...

read e lyrics & i juz 1ed 2 dedicate e song 2 J...

no matter how e ending might b...at least u've felt love urself...=)

http://try2bbionic.blogspot.com/2004/12/dreamzfmshould-i-stay.html

new job...

i'm at my new job...

sth i learn here is really juz 2 shut up & act blur...

actually we observe more when we shut up...

tis unit tt i work in start ard a yr ago..there r 2 bosses, 1 proj coordinator/logistics person, 2 psychologists...they started tis new prog under which i m employed approx 2.5 mths ago. there r 6 o us in e office. recently they juz employed 2 more. but e office is v small, can acc only e 6 o us..so e rest r in another office in another block..

so far tis is e analysis i've o e 5 pple tt i work wif..

1st o cos is V...

she is 1 loud mouth..so can observe a lot o things...1 thing i can conclude is tt she is 1 person who has low self-esteem..she nds 2 verbally let eveyr1 know abt her accomplishments...& she does so in a rather loud voice most o e time...

1 o e most funny episodes:

Scenario: conference rm waiting 2 give presentation 2 big pple..V seated in e middle o me & colic D.
V 2 D: aiyo y u so kan cheong...no nd 2 rehearse la..

D ignores her. i wasnt doin much stuff juz waiting 4 big pple 2 arrive
V 2 me abt sth which i dun rememb...

V 2 me: i'm lecturing 2nite..
me 2 V: oh..where u lecturing?
V 2 me: i'm teaching research methods at XXX..
me 2 V: wah...

Scene 2: time for presentation
V---mouth dry, face flushed, hands trembling badly during presentation....

In my mind: i tot V said she lecture in XXX? y e nervousness when she presented???


there r many many funny episodes o her...which juz makes me wonder if she knows tt silence is golden...she is also extremely self-centered...v inconsiderate alot o times...& she is over-enthu in trying 2 b sporty...her 2 buddies at lunch fasting now, so she also skip lunch, go gym wif them instead..in e end, she had fainting spells & had 2 go 2 e doc...ahhaha...



2nd colic, X..

she is e youngest in e grp...5 yrs my jnr..i'm 1 o e oldest in my grp..

she is 1 person who must chap ji ka (CJK) everytime...e only time she dun cjk is when colic AL is talking...

her cubicle is way inside e off & she can appear in .05s when there r >1 person talking.. regardless o e topic tt is being discussed...

she is 1 immature person who nds 2 show tt she is mature enough & knows a lot o things...over-zealous most o e time...


3rd colic, D..

v typical girls' sch girl...can b extremely loud...but i guess cos she has counselling bkgrd, so i tink she tone down a bit...


4th colic, AL..

pregnant colic who is abt 2 deliver soon...EDD nx wk...

she is originally fr C...but married a M, now is Spore citizen...smetimes she can get a little irritating..cos dunno y she cannot get e thigns pple r talking abt..dunno is it cos beign pregnant really makes pple a little slower... i tink V dun like her much...cos V always never seem 2 've much conversation wif her...


5th colic, L...

he's a daddy, got married when he was juz 23.. he is sme1 who can bland wif every1...mr nice guy...but who dunno how 2 say no...

he is 1 determined guy...but who also knows how 2 eat snake...



all o them not bad pple la...juz tt i'm writing abt e more interesting & funny things which smetimes i get irritated abt...

save the world..haha..

tis is a lot o fun...but at e same time, really lets u know e limitations of govt..

http://www.stopdisastersgame.org/

different strategies 4 e diff disasters..

seem like a long long time since i last blogged..

after e aur trip..lang was nx...was quite apprehensive cos there wasnt v gd review abt it..

personally, i tink it's juz a v unexplored place...

imagine us juz reef walking @ nite & we found 10 or so o octopuses...& junvenile scorpionfish...& e leaf slug..2 o them...& these 2 tiny tiny nembrotha lookalike...

& tonnes o other things there...

even snorkelling also got black tip shark...loads o things really...juz tt e DM is quite new(he has only been diving there 4 barely 3 wks...)

diving was ok...saw tis big big kingfish...my heart stopped 4 3s when i saw them actually..

continue another time..gg lunch =)

ttm club revived...

i tot u said tt we shldnt ttm so much??? reading ur blogs...e 1 tot i have is tt u r ttming...

i dunno if i'm really tt fortunate...at least i tink i m la... or rather there can b many things tt i can choose 2 complain abt...but everytime i complain e words tt u said were tt we shld learn 2 take it or else change it...if tt is e advise u can give 2 others...y not use it 4 urself?

learning 2 b contented is not easy...but learning 2 appreciate things can start fr anywhere...if u r not happy...accept it or else change it...or juz complain abt it...things will resolve sooner or ltr...

ttm club members...things will turn out well...jia u...

Juvenile scorpionfish...

big bro...

i kpt tinking last wk if he cld 've avoided tt accident if certain things changed...

den i saw nee's blog on gg bk in time & changing things...i wldnt b who i m rite now if things had changed...

things happen 4 a reason...& smehow we've juz got 2 learn & appreciate wat we've now...

i wld miss him...a big bro...thk u...

i'm feeling much beta now...i tink i pretty much sorted out my thoughts & feelings...

i still feel sad tt he's gone...but like every1 says he's probably in a beta place rite now...

may u rest in peace...

he passsed away.. so sudden.. i dun even know how i felt when i rec e sms.. he's sme1 not unfamiliar.. but neither sme1 i'm v close wif... but i knew abt his family.. i rememb e words o encouragement.. i remembered him as a big bro 2 me.. i didnt attend his wake...partly cos i dunno any1 else...i only know him.. & also cos i know i wld not b able 2 hold bk tears... his funeral is 2day...

i had e urge 2 sms him...2 juz make sure tt all these were not dreams or juz sme mistakes...

he was part o my life during my 1st yr o work...

when he was not making any contacts i tot he was not doin his job & i had plans 2 change agent...den i found out tt he was actually down wif sme life-threatening illness during e time he went "missing"...

tis time...i haven even had e chance 2 tell him tt i've started on a new job...i rec news o his death on my 1st day o work...

tell me how i shld feel...

up close....

e chelidonura....



>



e spotted hyselodoris, wif e zoom-in below...



obsolete chromodoris, wif a zoom-in shot...

features of magnificent..

tis is e magnificent chromodoris..notice e 1 below has retracted its gills..and e thing trailing is called the foot...

more common nudis..

these r e more common nudibranchs...however they r v diff...each 1 has their own unique color & pattern...

i tink tis is a variscose phyllidia...



these 3 are pustulose phyllidiella...





tis 1 look like e above..but also look like liz's phyllidiella...or mayb it's a baby pustulose phyllidiella..

jancy jancy

hey jan...

thks 4 e compliments 4 e pics...but my hm com cd reader sth wrong...alot o my pics in cds cant b read...when i get laptop fr hao nian den i'll try 2 send pics 2 u..;p

Nudis of AUR....

The most exciting pair of nudibranchs we saw...initially i tot it was such a big & long nudibranch!! haha..den HN pointed out tt it was actually 2...hahaha.. i read e bk, it says tt it's actually foreplay 4 nudibranchs..tailgating, b4 mating..=) tis pair o nudibranchs are called Tryon's Risbecia...



This is the magnificent chromodoris...quite a big fellow we've here...



this fellow here is also sth new...it's a lined nembrotha...



tis is much-desired flabellina...it's really v small..& perched rite on top a a rock/reef...



tis miniature thing, around 1.5-2cm long is a spotted hypselodoris..2 small, e macro feature in e camera cant take it so close-up...



obsolete chromodoris...i tink it's a baby..small little thing hiding under e reefs..



these 2 creatures r e most amazing things...they look really weird!! they r not actually nudibranchs...they r part o e family o optisbranch...they r sme sort o chelidonura...they're not featured in e nudibranch ID book tt HN has....

aur...

Back to Aur again..a different feeling...e place has bec more run-down...but still it was a haven for those wanting 2 escape from reality...

E sea was barren...a real pity...

but as always... E worst day diving is better den e best day working....

quite a reward in tis trip cos saw a lot o nudibranch...& there were 2 pairs 2gether..usu only singles...;p

& e camera-woman 4 e day was ME...haha...a lot o e pics were quite blur actually..haha...but e flabellina was a great shot...haha..lucky only la...haha...

my 2nd resignation tis yr....

i finally mademy decision....

$$$ is still more impt...

梦里能找到自己吧。。

为什么长大了烦恼会越来越多呢???懂得越多是不是烦恼就越多???很累了可是就是不想睡。。。头都麻痹了。。。看到大家都忙着很重要的事。。。我好像好浪费时间。。。

我有好多东西想讲。。。可是又不知要讲什么。。。终觉得自己会浪费人家的时间。。。我的时间好像一点价值都没有。。。要的只是别人的肯定。。。有那么难吗???有时真的好像自私一点。。。不要想那么多。。。对自己好一点。。。不要理会别人的看法。。。可是办不到。。。这就是自己。。。

终觉得自己被埋在深深的谎言里。。。一个自己编造出来的自己。。。到底自己跑去哪儿了。。。

觉得他应该会是个很不错的老板。。。可是我觉得我一定不会是个优秀的员工。。。

该睡了。。。可能在梦里能找到自己吧。。

遗忘了的梦。。。

去了一个应征。。。它唤醒了我遗忘了的梦。。。我挣扎了。。。我惶了。。。我不知道该怎么办。。。一个好久以前的梦。。。我是否该去追逐呢。。。我是否还是想实现那个梦想呢。。。

去争取一个机会。。。梦想会不会实现、想不想实现， 以后才想吧。。。=)

是否你以忘了该怎么去爱了。。。

最近每天都忙着应征。。。那天和她吃饭。。。我突然好想去背包。。。好想一个人。。。

其实突然想blog，是因为这一个game。。。http://www.miniclip.com/games/loves-arrow/en/。。。

它让我有很多感触。。。当你忙着射箭时，有好多你想救的人以伤心的离去。。。你明明是想把爱给的人却错过。。。而刚好经过的却把爱拾走了。。。本想射下多点时间。。。可却浪费了更多的时间。。。

当你忙着时，是否忘了你身边的家人、朋友、爱人。。。是否你以忘了该怎么去爱了。。。

除了我。。。

每个人都好像很忙。。。除了我。。。我好像很懒散。。。妈妈没有很催我。。。可是她还是有明示我该找份工作。。。

我想好好放下所有的东西，慢慢的找到我想要的。。。可是很可惜我却被自己搞的很乱。。根本没有在我休息的3个星期里做了什么。。。好听是责任。。可是是害怕吧。。。是自己很没有计划吧。。。可是我真的很累。。。一点想计划的心都没有。。。自己想什么真的很模糊。。。现在以没有刚刚离开时那么emotional。。。我想我会慢慢找到的。。。

很想到"Gone Fishing"，出来喝杯东西聊聊天。。。可是每个人都好忙。。。

在这里每个人的节奏都好快。。。在岛上，每个人都慢很多很多拍。。。

我想我喜欢 "花样少年少女"也可能是很怀念学生时期吧。。。不用想那么多，把功课搞好、考好，就是了。。。

真的是老了。。。

王菲、小虎队 的红蜻蜓、郭富成、林志颖 啦。。。我dl 了好多很久以前的歌。。。好怀念。。。哈哈哈。。。

Kapas...

bk fr pulau kapas..lots o mosquito bites...& i got tis terrible swollen toe/foot fr a ant bite..so itchy & swollen...haizzz...

not exactly a v nice place at p. kapas...1st, e journey there took 10hrs by coach...den we dropped off at tis wu lu place when e sun was not out yet, ard 6am & e street lights were not working..it was complete darkness...we had 2 walk 500m 2 tis little village call marang....& we napped in a little pavilion until there was light...

e pple were really slack...6+ still no1 in sight...until 7+ den pple started work...we had a nice nasi ayam & teh...but e speedboat was still not opened...so i had a snooze in e pavilion...almost 845 den e boat was ready...e speedboat ride was fast...only 15mins....

there was construction gg on on e island...a new resort coming up...

we chked in & got 2 out chalet...it was not exactly v nice...cos e beds looked a bit dirty... e bedsheet had brown bloodstains..eeeeeeeeeee.....

e tv only had 1 channel...thk gdness e toilet looked ok...but as usu, no hot water....

e weather was gd..but i didnt get a v gd nite slp on e coach...so i had a nap b4 i got up...shld 've gone 4 a dive cos e current didnt look tt strong & e vis was reasonable gd...

we had a walk ard e island...there was hardly anybody ard...it was really v v quiet..

we walked bk 2 e resort & decided 2 go snorkel...there was a super big puffer & 2 smaller puffers...also quite a big o fishes...

not a lot o things 2 do at nite....& we had 2 wait 1 hr 4 our dinner...we walked alng e beach 1ing 2 c if we had any luck o seeing turtles comin up e shore 2 lay eggs...bot no luck...a lot o mosquitoes...so we went bk 2 e chalet & had e air-con on full blast...

e 2nd day was bad...after bfast, it rained...our diving trip was cancelled cos e water vis was low...we walked ard, suntanned...zo bo 4 a while...den we decided 2 go 4 sotong catching (we exchanged it wif our complimentary 2 snorkelling trip)...when we got 2 e counter, there was another family o 6 who were gg 2...& 1 o e lady say tt e sotong catching will end at 3am! it was barely 6pm...& we were gg out on a small fishing boat...i was terrified...they were gg 2 go out in open sea in a mini fishing boat...i wld never survive tt... we decided agst it....& instead we had our dinner & strolled 2 e jetty where we saw pple fishing & catchin sotong...

we retired early...it was pouring when we got bk 2 e chalet...heng we didnt go 4 e sotong catching...

e 3rd day we decided 2 go 4 our diving regardless o e vis...we went 2 e octopus reef...e current was so strong...e swells were scary...but i managed it...e vis wasnt spectacular...but it was ok...there wasnt a lot o things 2 c...most o e stuff were brown & dying...quite a few nudibranches we saw...& a new 1, e magnificent chromodoris...

& i saw tis super big parrotfish! which none o e rest saw...i guess they were busy looking 4 other things while e parrotfish swam by...& there was tis cute stonefish...still a baby i guess...but e camera didnt really capture it well...or rather it camouflaged itself really well...


we finished e dive...i 1ed 2 go 4 a 2nd 1...but e DM was rather not enthu...so we decided agst it...we had our lunch & slacked on e beach...we still haven used our 2 complimentary snorkelling trip so we exchanged it 4 kayaking...we kayaked 2 tt pte beach & HN went snorkelling while i made a sand turtle on e beach...hhaha...HN came bk & started 2 draw his "cute art" on e sand...hahha...gradually more pple came by wif their kayaks...& started 2 draw on e sand also...hahah...


we had a little swim b4 we kayaked bk 2 e resort...tis was e last nite at e resort...

we didnt venture out cos there were a lot o construction workers on e island..not v safe wif juz e 2 o us...& most o e places were quite dark & quiet...


we had 2 get up early in e morn also cos e bus bk 2 singapore leave at 9am fr e tregganu bus terminal...we had 2 pay extra RM50 4 e early morning speedboat & another RM30 4 e ride 2 e bus terminal...


anyway tis trip was badly planned...i was 2 impulsive in arranging e trip..shld have planned it beta..haizz...& i missed e chance 2 go redang...haizzz....2 late...anyway...will started planning 4 another trip soon...i'm gg 2 get ready...gg 4 interview ltr....

清醒的脑袋。。。

本来有很多要说。。。可是现在也不知道要写些什么。。。

再过几个小时我就要到Pulau Kapas。。。心里就是有点紧张。。。

终于递上了辞呈。。。是有点冲动吧。。。我现在真的很想安安静静的好好想想自己到底要什么。。。

我很少看连续剧。。。可是现在每个晚上都看花样少男少女。。。现在看第2遍。。。我不喜欢看结局。。。因为有了结局我就不能每天有期望收看每一集。。。就是不想有结局。。。一旦有了终点， 接下来又要去开始。。。

记得那时我看了3遍的Hana Yuri Dango aka 流星花园的卡通。。。看完了又看。。。就是不想有结局。。。

有时我只想停留。。。停留在那完美的那一刻，永远都不要走。。。

现在的心情是复杂的。。。

是不想改变还是。。。

我很久没有清醒的脑袋了。。。我很想静下来。。。我好累。。。真的好累。。。幸福我摸到了。。。可是我很想永远拥有它。。。可是我知道是因为他的很大的付出，我才有它。。。我不想只有他的付出。。。我也想好好的爱他。。。


喜欢花样少男少女里的泉。。。可能因为像他。。。我很想把他永远留在身边。。。是自私的吧。。。

thank you baby...

從來沒想過會對他動心，但他卻走進了我的心中…那是一種從未有過的心跳，就好像童話中所敘述的一樣，而我卻比別人幸運的遇見了幸福… (quoted from 花樣少年少女 )

toto...

uncle patrick..lucky toto no.s 4 u ah...zhong le ji de bao ke hong bao gai wo..hahhaa

2, 3, 4, 23, 24, 34, 42

fall in love...

never lose sight of why u fall in love in the 1st place....

thk u 4 e advice... i really needed tt...

4D。。。

给大家一个真字。。。我的手机号码。。。这几个星期一直有人打错电话。。。朋友啦、strangers 啦。。。都打到我的手机。。。大家买买看吧。。。中了记得请我吃饭啊。。。

稀不稀罕。。。

最后一天是23号。。。真的很希望快点到。。。可是RAs说这样很可惜。。。因为我的心血就快有回报了。。。我不该在这时候放弃。。。我并不觉得可惜。。。可是就如RA 说的，一定要给big potato看到我做的。。。我知道她一定会fight for my name 2 b on e end product。。。我现在正在考虑该不该多留一个月，present 2 EXCO。。。可能他们都不稀罕。。。

天涯海角。。。

梦想拥有天涯海角。。。可惜TOTO没有中。。。好像是个很难实现的梦想。。。真的要好好的计划一下。。。research 一下。。。这样就知道每个月该存多少钱。。。该朝这个梦想前进吧。。。

Slow Down Culture

Food for thought- Slow Down Culture

An interesting reflection : Slow Down Culture

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalize processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses aneed to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in another words:

1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.

2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.

3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.

4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "qualityof being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour work weeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present,which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one ofus does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said,"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalized world.

第一次丢信。。。

终于，letter写好了。。心里不知为什么会难过。。是应为长长的假期过了。。还是舍不得。。又或许是终于离开了comfort zone。。

我有想要怎么开口。。可是最终她不在。。Email了她，把信放在桌子。。想到她可能会training后pop back 2 office，是有点不知所措。。。

第一次丢信。。。真的不简单。。。

office 里没有人会想到我会丢吧。。。Or mayb they know？？？

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR...

another new yr...so fast...it's oredi into march oredi...1/4 o e yr...tt's so fast...so scary....

我的期限是26 Feb。。。

可能是大家都应为她的离去，开始想死亡。。。或许是自己舍不得离开。。。又或许是刚刚开始读Mitch Albom 的Tuesdays wif Morrie。。。又或则是自己没有像以前那么健康了，开始担心。。。又可能是自己本来就是TTM 掌门人。。。

当我终于给自己一个期限时，我真的是觉得很开心。。。好像是终于可以解放似的。。。我可以了解为何G当时会在一夜之间做决定。。。她也是痛苦了廷久的吧。。。

我真的写得很烂吗？？？我从来都不觉得。。。可是这里让我觉得自己很烂。。。不止一次。。。我觉定不要再让人家为难自己，不要他们让自己觉一文不止。。。

我不知道是不是冲动。。。可能、或许、有可能。。。Anyway。。。我的期限是26 Feb。。。

music 4 e beach

we r gg bintan...like a long time never rest & relax...bum on e beach...

any1 got any songs/mp3 which is great 4 beach getaway??? i've got beach boys kokomo...any other songs ah???

dreams...

seriously i cant really rememb any...i know theoretically every1 will dream when they slp...but i dunno if i'm really tt tired...most o e nites i dun recall any dreams at alll...so i was really "surprised" tt jan cld have so many dreams...do u log down all ur dreams jan??

e result is out...

i went 2 e doc...waited 4 >2hrs... it kinda o stupid tt they fix appt 4 u, but they dun kp their time...when u r late 4 e appt, they qn u non-stop...WTF... if u fixed it at 415pm, jolly well let me c my doc at 415 la...y do i nd 2 wait till 630??? & it's a mere 10mins conversation wif e doc, smetimes it takes barely 5mins...nx time pls fix me appt at 630 den....

anyway, mri result was out...there was absolutely nth wrong wif my left hip joint..it was in perfect condition!!!!! shld i b happy??? at least i spend 400 bucks 2 know tt it's ok, despite e fact tt it has a dull ache 4 > 1 yr.... so i asked e doc y...

he said it definitely ruled out e suspicion tt he had earlier tt i had a tear in e skin o e ligament...it cld most prob b becos o my back which cld prob had been a slight slipped disc, pressing on sme nerves hence e dull ache...

it was all prob tis prob tt...i had tt speech fr e docs 4 >1 yr....

i told him i experience ache in my knee & my back also... he asked which was more serious...both were equally so...den he asked y i never associate e 2 prob as 1?

cos in e beginning, i didnt experience any pain in both areas....i only had tis dull ache tt doesnt go away in my left hip joint... tt was when i decided 2 go 2 e doc....& tt was when i decided 2 stop my tkd...& tt was also when i decided 2 relax a bit fr my dragonboat...

i had an x-ray done...nth was wrong wif e hip...but cos i had tis shoulder ache which comes on when i'm extremely tired 4 like countless years, since i'm doing e x-ray i might as well do it on my shoulder also...& tt is where they found tt my neck/spine has "degenerative" symptoms....watever tt means...

so i was referred 2 nuh...

as e hip joint wasnt serious, they concentrated on my shoulders, wif physio 4 my hip joint occasionally...

i was doing pretty ok...except e hip joint didnt heal...didnt get worse but was still there...

i went bk 2 e doc 4 review...e doc say it was ok, asked me 2 continue physio, which i didnt cos it was taking 2 much time...i was getting more & more inactive...except wif e occasion db race...

den i started 2 get tis numbness in my left knee when i start >20mins in e train...i wasnt particularly bothered cos i tot mayb i was juz standing 2 long...

den i got stiff back whenever i sat 2 long in off....& e knee prob got worse...i went bk 2 e doc (a new doc was seeing me now, they dun 've a fixed doc...whoever was e registrar will b e 1 u c) after they postponed it like 4 3mths...

i was so caught up wif work tt i didnt really bother tt e appt was postponed 4 so long...i juz endured e pain & did stretching (which didnt help much..)...hip joint prob was again ignored... concentration was put on e back which was giving quite a lot o trouble...

physio again....started 2 get beta....den i missed 1 physio cos i was sick...e stupid phone was always engaged when i tried 2 fix another appt 4 my physio...so i gave up....since i was getting a bit beta, i decided 2 exercise on my own...& e therapist suggested tt i do my pilates/yoga 2 strengthed my back...i went jogging...twice in tt wk...which was a mistake....my backache became so bad...& since i was gg 2 c e doc i decided 2 give myself a break...

bk 2 e doc...a new doc again... he asked how i was... back still aches & it was really bad when i jog...so he asked me 2 go bk 4 my physio...he asked me 2 go 4 a bk x-ray 1st & he was gg 2 refer me 2 e spinal dept...i complained 2 him abt my hip joint....& tt was when i had 2 go 4 my mri...

1 more appt wif e spinal dept in feb...if they still dunno wat is wrong...i'm really not sure wat i'm gg 2 do... i'm getting really fed-up...

MRI...

i'm gg 4 my MRI tmr... a bit apprehensive...a few days ago den i found out tt nd 2 have intravenous injection b4 e scan... all in all it'll take ard 2hrs 4 everything... haizzz...consoling myself tt i'll finally get 2 know wat is happening...

but still...i wldnt know e results cos my nx appt is in jan, only den wld e doc tell me wat is wrong...so i'm still in e unknown....haizzz....

慢慢自杀。。。

这几个星期来， 心情都不是很好。。。可能是因为生病， 而且不知道是不是吃了antibiotics， 脸和劲部有很多一粒一粒的。。。到现在还有。。。很 烦。。。一点心情都没有。。。

昨天，回去复诊。。。As usual，医生说没什么大挨。。。需要continue physio。。。haizzz。。。一年 了，原因还是不确定。。。因为back 没有好， doc 说 最好照 脊椎x-ray。。。ok，照了。。。我问他为什么我的hip joint 一直没有好。。。 他也不知道。。。说了说，最后他说做MRI scan，maybe 可以find out if the skin o e ligament is torn。。。it was e most probable cause o e constant dull ache in my hip joint。。。haizzz。。。我好伤心。。。OK， juz go 4 e scan 2 find out loh。。。

走出医院，我好伤心。。。有一种不想再做任何事，让“病情”恶化到死掉算了。。。爽快的死了好过想这样。。。so super annoying。。。

当时只想回家。。。一到家，一个人也不在。。。突然很想哭。。。



我现在了解为什么人会自杀。。。

shld i go 2 e doc if i kp getting dizzy spells??? is it work & lack o slp???

=))

i finally changed my blog appearance...after more den 2 yrs....ahhahaa...blogging is no longer e same nowadays...at least compared 2 2 yrs ago...mayb i've changed...

did i mention tt i met my insurance agent b4 i left 4 europe??? i haven seen him 4 almost a yr or 2...e 1 thing i rememb most abt tt mtg was tt he mentioned tt i'm no longer e little girl he used 2 know...i'm no longer e carefree person who always tot o e best o everything...is it bad???

i really dunno where tt self o me had gone 2...i really miss it...i dunno...i really really miss tt...

i 1 2 go out 2nite...2 vent my frustrations away at e machines...

i guess DYM coming...mood in e dumps...

New Year Resolutions

long time never update my blog...busy wif my new venture...sth which i've always 1ed 2 do..but never got down 2 doing..mayb we can really do sth...a lot o time wasted on discussion & watching tv...hahah...but i tink we r really gg places...even though we r not earning much profit...but i tink we will soon...

1ed 2 start my exercise regime but really no time 2...evenings r filled wif dinners, venture discussions & sourcing 4 ideas & stuff...& also mtg wif financial planner..my finances r in a mess...3 yrs o working, i haven even save much...i really nd 2 start sth...or else how 2 sustain my travelling passion & my new venture if i really decide 2 quit...

another thing which has been popping up these few mths is my mom's incessant hints o getting a flat..hmmm...

i'm barely 26..crossing tt in a few days, but really it's a bit premature...dunno la...it's not sth tt has not cross my mind b4, but not w/n these few yrs..

& my colic's constant reminder tt it's always beta 2 have sme1 2 wake up 2...she's a v nice colic..who looks out 4 me, & constantly reminding me tt he is a really nice guy...

we'll get things done 1 by 1 ok???

resolution 4 e nx yr..2 get my advance in diving...2 mayb get my driving license???2 finally plan sth 4 my further studies...& properly my new venture 2 prosper...

a little 2 early 4 resolution???it's never 2 early 2 dream 1 guess....

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Candy Chocolate helpers

Chk out the website...great gifts 4 family & friends who love chocolate..link is on the left also..

www.candyhelpers.blogspot.com

wtfffffffffffffff.....................

真的是很烦leh。。。她越来越小题大做。。。So bo liao。。。不懂是我没有看到
BIGGGGGGGG PICTUREEEEEEEE。。。很frustrating。。。你叫我act fast的， 当
然我就give watever he 1 loh。。。den 你又说不可以之给juz e figure。。。he
only ask 4 e figure mah。。。自己人， ok loh。。。我send loh。。。sent liao，
你又讲不要send。。。wah lau， wat u 1 me 2 do？？？every small little thing
i run 2 u， u say executive level oredi， u dun employ us 2 listen 2 instructions
only， nd 2 ‘ve initiative。。。do on my own， den u say i never c big
picture， shld go 2 u。。。WTF do u 1？？？更年期到了is it。。。really feel like slapping her left rite centre。。。

海阔天空。。。

正当我觉得生活开始有点无趣时，我surf到了Hubble Telescope 的site。。。又让
我想起第一次看流星时。。。

第一次真正看到流星是在Bintan。。。真的是好漂亮。。。好亮、好长的尾巴。。。
哈哈，nee 还被我们尖叫声给吓到。。。哈哈哈。。。

后来在Aur，一阵停电，满天的星星。。。让我觉得自己好渺小。。。问题也变得没
那么大不了。。。

在Perhentian，要有两个人以上看到才算的流星。。。哈哈哈。。。每次都忘了要
喊“Whaleshark”。。。

有时就是要提醒自己没有什么是不能解决的。。。不要为了一点点东西就斤斤计较。。。
LIFE IS MORE THAN THAT。。。

好想去Bintan。。。好想去Aur。。。好想去Perhentian。。。我们几时去潜水？？？

有时真的很矛盾。。。haizzzz。。。

grey-ing...

i love watching grey's anatomy...it's really graps me & makes me tink...but it airs on mon at 11pm...which means i can only get 2 bed at 12...

i resisted watching it 4 e last 2 wks..but last nite i decided 2 catch a glimpse...c if it has finished...

again i was griped & it made me tink alot...mayb cos e main character meredith is always caught in a dilemna...sth w i find myself trapped in ever since i'm wif him...1 thing tis show really highlights is tt there is no "right" std 4 falling 4 sme1...

u never know who u fall in love wif...but follow ur heart even though clouds (or haze these days) might cover ur eyes...hurdles abound but really follow ur heart...if u cant hear wat it says, try a bit harder...juz feel where u 1 2 go...there r no rite or wrong...dun tink o e rd u've travelled as a waste o time...cos there r no time wasted in anything...in everything u learn...

u never really know unless u try...dun give up juz becos u dunno e future...continue cos u wldnt know future...

life is ever so vulnerable...juz try 2 do watever it is...cry if u have 2...shout out all e Fs if u nd...life never stops 4 any1...so dun stop becos o fear...wat wld happen if u fail??? wat wld happen if ur choice is wrong??? u juz learn 2 accept it & move on...as long as u dun harm any1 intentionally, there is never gg 2 b a wrong...

i know it's hard 2 believe in tt...& even harder 2 really do it...but take a deep breathe & dive in...hold ur mask...do a giant leap or even a back flip...plunge in & c e bubbles...sign an ok sign...everything will b juz fine...we came bk in 1 pc fr europe didnt we??? our legs felt like they were gg 2 break didnt they??? but in e end they didnt, & we lost a pound or 2 rite??

我最满意的欧洲游照片。。。

look at e reflection...

wake up ladies & smell e coffee...

STI Oct 2, 2006
Guys who can't commit
If your date admits to being one of them, you would do well to listen

By Girl Talk, Jill Alphonso

A FRIEND of someone I know recently dated a guy who turned out to be a complete jerk.

Some of you more world-weary girls out there might say: So what's new. (Sorry, guys.)

He seemed sweet at first, but went on to blow hot and cold with her in the most extreme ways.

He would take her out and kiss her good-night on one date, and would practically say goodbye with a handshake on the next.

Once, he even took along another girl on their date.

To be fair, he had warned my friend's friend on the first date that he wasn't exactly Prince Charming material.

'You have to be careful with me,' he apparently said. 'I can be a jerk.'

On the second date, he managed to bring this topic up again, adding that he had been called commitment-phobic by his ex-girlfriends.

And he said so again on the third date.

In fact, he seemed to take pride in being Mr Not-So-Nice.

Why did she persist with this useless dude?

Why do women - despite all their academic qualifications and career achievements - persist with guys who are on a different wave-length? You know, the type who clearly signal they want a fun time, not a long time?

Truth is, they overlook this blatantly basic lack of compatibility in the hope that he will be The One.

Women cling to their own expectations of a relationship, no matter what a guy says to them.

Some relationship experts say this is due to a Cinderella complex, aptly described by writer Colette Dowling as 'women... still waiting for something external to transform their lives'.

And that something is often the idea of a perfect relationship in which that figurative white knight appears and sweeps a woman off her feet.

Men, however, tend to be burdened with less on the expectation front - a concept women often seem unable to grasp.

I've been there myself. Guys have told me after the first two weeks of dating that while they liked spending time with me, they weren't ready for a relationship.

Yet because they were still keen on seeing me, I hoped that time spent together having fun would turn into something more.

When those relationships ended, I would find myself resentful.

The turning point came with one particularly upfront boyfriend who told me several times that previous girlfriends had said that he had commitment issues.

He even agreed that he had a problem.

But ever hopeful, I concluded that if he could admit to a commitment problem in the past, perhaps it meant he was now willing to commit to me.

It didn't take a psychic to predict what happened. We broke up six months later because he couldn't commit.

I was angry at first. But eventually I realised he had in fact given me something valuable at the start - honesty, guy-style. No rose-tinted Prince Charming stuff.

And though he told me that I was the kind of girl he wanted to eventually spend the rest of his life with, the fact was that he simply wasn't ready for that at the time.

Breaking up may always be harder for the girl. So many of us continually hope that someone will come along and rescue us - from what, I'm not sure. Perhaps it's because we've been biologically primed over thousands of years to find someone who'll take care of us.

Surviving Mr Commitment-Phobe - and realising there was nothing to beat myself up about - proved empowering.

I am now in a relationship where we are on the same page about where we want it to go - to a happy future.

So much hurt comes from messages being lost in translation and by women refusing to face reality.

It was a painful lesson I learnt. I can only hope that something clicks for my friend's friend on this issue, so that one day, she'll be ready to click with someone who is right for her.

jilla@sph.com.sg

欧洲游后记 - II

看着照片很后悔没有try“绑紧跳”。。。应该很难有机会try吧。。。可是当时是有
点害怕，没有勇气尝试。。。也挺遗憾没有try paragliding。。。是挺贵的。。。
CHF290，大概是新币365。。。不到半个钟头就花掉S$365，有点舍不得。。。可是
回到新加坡，你愿意花S$400都不能做到。。。不只是舍不得，也可能是因为会担心
安全吗。。。会想到可能会危险，所以就没再多想。。。现在后悔来不及了。。。
下一次，我一定要去para-glide，也要去坐hot air balloon！！！难得有机会，我
一定不要再错过！！！

欧洲游后记 - I

旅行回来的感觉总是怪怪的。。。Jet-lag 是one thing。。。Another 是心情。。。不管旅行再怎么累、怎么cock-up，也比蹲在Singapore有趣。。。就好像Perhentian的名言：“The worst day diving is better then the best day working” similarly，“The worst day travelling is better then the best day working”。。。哈哈。。。 这次有点不同。。。因为很想念一个人。。。很想和他分享每天的点点滴滴。。。在欧洲时一边想着假期不要这么快过、另一边想着他。。。想早点回新加坡。。。回来后，我并没有她们那么想念欧洲。。。可能这不是第一次到欧洲吧。。。怀念的是无须烦恼工作的每一天。。。怀念的是度假的心情。。。回来后没有时间休息也让我更怀念度假的每一天。。。一到办公室我特别想再放假。。。那也许是为什么我会对你发脾气。。。因为说好了要一起旅行的，后来又不能。。。不是你的错，可是我还是很upset。。。希望很快能再放假。。。能松懈身心。。。真的需要RECHARGE。。。我好累啊。。。

九月二日

登上飞机，踏上第二次欧洲之旅。。。坐在我旁边的是个有口臭的洋人。。。还好
我以好累不然不知道该怎么过。。。QF 真的好挤。。。看了两部戏。。。终于到达
伦敦的Heathrow 机场。。。T4在装修，要搭shuttle bus到tube stn 转tube 到 Kings
Cross (45 mins)，den 火车到York (2hrs)。。。

到了酒店，不能chk in，三点才能。。。把重重的背包放下，上了厕所， 我们便到
处走走。。。雨开始下。。。很冷。。。走到了York Minister，其他的人想去别的
地方，剩下我和bj。。。在里面很温暖就决定留下。。。刚好有人在那举行婚礼，
入门费打折。。。


和很多欧洲的其他教堂一样，York Minister became another addition 2 my collection
of cathedrals。。。比较有趣的是它的Undercroft。。它其实是建在很久以前的建
筑。。。有Roman、Norman 和 Vikings 的遗迹。。。有audio-guide不过听到很闷。。。
YM 比其他的cathedrals大。。。这回我没有象以前那么enthu，爬上 tower。。。
Anyway，那个salesperson dun recommend gg up 因为天气不好，很朦。。。


走完了YM，走undercroft。。。bj 说她要晕了。。。她好饿又累。。。于是我们就
去找lunch。。。雨下的好大。。。风也好冷、好强。。。找到一家有set lunch的
hotel restaurant。。。2 course meal 9。90英镑 (大概新币30)。。。好好吃的
炸蘑菇。。。外面脆脆，里面多汁又热呼呼。。。好吃！！！可是吃了那碟炸蘑菇，
结下来的beef stew wif yorkshire pudding & potatoes吃不完。。。Yorkshire
pudding 其实不是pudding。。。是一个空的pastry上面淋了sauce。。。Doggy-bagged
了beef stew，本来想晚上可以吃。。。可是hotel rm 没有microwave。。。

吃了lunch，开始往hotel走去。。。可是有点lost。。。Anyway，很巧的经过了一
间“One pound” shop。。。bj 买了水，我们re-orientate，往hotel回去因为说
好3点大家一起chk in。。。回到hotel，其他人都还没回， 我们就先回去wash up。。。


一整天没有刷牙冲凉了。。。wash up 后好舒服。。。好累。。。可是如果睡觉一
定jet-lag。。。开电视看，可是都是很无聊的戏。。。其他的人也chk in。。。约
好7点dinner。。。在床上laze了 一下。。。准备出去吃饭。。。很多店都关了。。。
5点它们都打烊了。。。好无聊。。。终于找到一家在brochure里有advert的一家餐
馆。。。不是很饿。。。决定‘ve kids meal不过必须below 12years old。。。侍
应生问我：“Are you below 12？” _ _||| Obviously。。。可是她还是问了她的
经理，so i got e kids meal。。。

After dinner，走了走，看了看。。。回到hotel。。。bj 很快的睡着了。。。我
很累，可是还是managed 2 写了一点“travel diary”、看了点电视。。。Nites。。。

Your results:
You are Robin

Robin 55% Spider-Man 50% The Flash 50% Green Lantern 50% Wonder Woman 45% Hulk 45% Superman 40% Supergirl 40% Batman 30% Iron Man 30% Catwoman 15%

Young and acrobatic. You don't mind stepping aside to give someone else glory.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

"every ending is a new beginning..."

tt was on her blackboard...

"when i need u e most, when i'm all alone, & u r not there, i know u dun love me tt much..."

tt was on her blog...

"In e end Chiang Mai will b visited by me alone.."

tt was on her blog...


2 wks...i wonder wat went wrong...

dun try 2 b strong...it only makes urself weaker...lousier...it wldnt make u any stronger...

dun try 2 b rational...cos there is no nd 2 b rational...

dun....

no matter wat it is....things will eventually b alrite...it doesnt seem so now...but it will b...sme1 above promise...

it's alrite 2 b tired...it's alrite 2 ignore pple...it's alrite 2 ask pple 2 fuck off...it's alrite 2 juz slp...cos slping really makes ur soul stronger...cos emotions nd not b rein in...

slp it off....everything will b alrite...

九月一日...

和平常一样做工。。。坐在电脑前发呆。。。在过几个钟头就要飞到地球的另一边。。。Print 了一些York的map。。。做最后的准备。。。十二点半，收拾好回家。。。Dear supposed 2 meet me but long queue @ ICA。。。自己先回去。。。

到家，吃了午餐，看了点电视。。。有点累。。。拿了本杂志，躺在床上。。。睡了半个小时。。。又开始re-pack backpack。。。Dear 终于来了。。。好不容易pack 好。。。Showered。。。吃了dinner。。。是时候去机场。。。妈妈送我出门。。。有点舍不得。。。不是第一次出远门。。。可是还是有点舍不得。。。

计程车很快就截到。。。常常坐德士都会晕，这次也不例外。。。握着Dear 的手在沉默中接近我们将分离的地点。。。这是我们交往500多天以来第二次分开那么久。。。第一次是他到Penang attachment， 一个月没见面。。。这次只是16天。。。很快的吧。。。希望。。。

大约花了一个钟头才到机场。。。Chked in。。。还有两个多小时才要进去。。。不长也不短。。。

我们走到viewing gallery。。。他将会一个人在这看飞机。。。

忘了带lipbalm。。。跑到T2去买。。。顺便吃了Mac。。。

很快的时间到了。。。我们又回到viewing gallery。。。最后一个拥抱。。。不舍的心情。。。不听话的泪水。。。不想分开。。。红红的眼睛。。。很快回来的。。。很快。。。

haizzz...smetimes i wonder if i'm juz a perfectionist...

i kp emphasizing...i'm e most junior o e lot...& i've 2 do e most work...& i dun understd y i nd 2 spell things out so clearly...

i tink my "yu qi" wasnt tt gd...but really...u r a grown up loh...e word is "fed-up"....

i know u r under a lot o stress....but stilll....m i not under e same stress???? but my rank is lower...u cant really expect me 2 teach u how 2 speak rite??? wah lau...really loh...i shld deserve sme additional monetary reward isnt it...

europe 01092006-17092006 part 1...

1st Sept - 17th Sept 2006

i flew on e 1st...rc london on 2nd early morn ard 5+...took e tube 2 king's cross, den e train 2 york...cab 2 hotel, dumped our luggage & walked ard...

i was @ e york minister most o e time...& walked ard a little...got bk 2 hotel 2 chk in..showered..rest...dinner...most o e places close @ 5...so bored...bj serious jet-lag...she said she was gg 2 faint...my god...(shake head)...she didnt really make an effort 2 get rid o e jet-lag..i feel...

after dinner..went bk hotel, slpt...

3rd
early morn...had master class...lost our way...had 2 walked wif heels...argh...

we left after lunch cos it was so boring...bj still jet-lag...she was slping most o e time during e master class...

we walked ard e city centre...bj was hungry again...s 1ed 2 put her conquest in her rm..while ct was mtg his prof...rh was long gone..half way thro' e master class he went off...he went 2 meet his friends...& got wasted there...

so i went alone walking ard e castle walls...took pics...when i got bk bj was in e shower...i went out 2 've dinner wif s, bj 1ed 2 rehearse her presentation so we left...


when i came bk, bj was sound aslp...she was really not making an effort 2 "cure" her jet-lag...

4th

1st day o congress official...went 4 e early morning session which starts @ 730am!!!!!!who e hell tot o putting tis time slot???anyway, both speakers were v gd...1 talked abt e reliability o a child's memory, e other talked abt sexual abuse by staff in institutions...

1ed 2 go 4 a talk on child homicide..but e place was quite far...dunno y e organisations put e talks in all e different places...how m i supposed 2 walk >500m in my heels???? & w/n 15mins or less...so stupid...anyway, i went 2 listen 2 1 which was related 2 my study...young pple's view on a "good childhood"...i was really comforted after hearing e study...cos i realise i'm not e only person having problems measuring "well-being"...& i tink i'm doing a pretty fine job...hahha...

had a short coffee break...btw english coffee really dun taste v well...they r 2 bland 4 my taste...their expresso taste like a mild version o our kopi-o, juz imagine their daily brew...it's coffee-flavored hot water...& we only had cookies & coffee 4 e break...

den i attended another few presentations on internet child abuse...quite interesting..& i'm rather surprised tt e indians & pakistan talked so readily abt e problems they face...

e lunch workshop was really gd...but 1 o e presentation, on post traumatic disorder 4 children, they played an actual call made by a 7 or 8 yr old child 2 911...my hair was on their ends all e time when i was listening...my god...it was so nerve-racking...i was pretty disturbed hearing tt...i juz cannot imagine e trauma e child had 2 go thro'...i'm only listening & i felt so much fear...imagine e child...witness her father violently attacking her mother...

e rest o e sessions were really boring...& i was so tired...met rh & we decided 2 go bk 2 e hotel earlier 2 wash up, cos there was a congress dinner, & it was pretty near e hotel...

dinner was @ e rail museum... i was almost dying o thirst, & guess wat, they charge 2.50 pound 4 a bottle o water!!!!!!!!! @ e congress dinner leh!!!! they dun serve plain water!!!!!either u have orange juice or wine...damn stupid...

anyway, i took loads o pic o e trains & had a look @ e royal carriages...e dinner ended v late...11pm...so we decided 2 skip e breakfast session presentation e nx morn...

5th
attened a session on how 2 handle toddler tantrums..quite funny..wonder if it really works...got e dvd (4 free) will pass 2 my sis c if e technique works...

den i rushed off 2 attend my poster presentation...there was hardly any1 who looked @ e posters...i spent damned fucking how many nites trying 2 get e poster out...there were less den 10 pple who looked @ e poster while i was standing there...& only 3 who asked any qns...

anyway, cos i stayed later...i went 2 e nearest rm 4 e nx session..e rm was full!!!! no chairs...& e rm was so stuffy...1 o e presentation was fr spore...& fr tt ministry...my god...i really felt like digging a hole & hide my face...she was like selling s'pore...telling e whole world how gd a job spore had done...but she never tell us wat she had done...duh...stupid...waste o my time..

i went 4 1 o e lunch workshop again...& again it was a v gd presentation...both talked abt how doctors shld b aware o e signs o child sexual abuse...& how e doctors cld aid in e diagnosis o CSA...

2 lazy 2 move...i sat in e same rm...& i was glad i was tt lazy...e 1st presentation was by a lady who survived CSA...it was a really powerful presentation...it clearly illustrates e gap btw victims & those who r helping...y victims do not disclose...& e vicious cycle tt follows...it was a gd presentation..

again i skipped e other sessions...cos i haven really toured york & i wld b leaving tmr...so i took down my poster & went bk...put my things down & changed into my comfortable trainers...bj came bk wif me...she said she 1ed 2 practise cos her presentation was e nx morn...

i walked ard e city...walked across e musuem gardens...walked...walked walked...went 2 e shambles...e shops there were closed but i had a look thro' their windows...& they were all so nice...i basically covered e whole o york city centre on feet...

went bk 2 hotel 2 meet bj 2 go 2 e castle museum where we a reception....

walked ard...& spent at least 2 hrs there...picked up a few gifts...den we left 2 get dinner...most shops were closed & we had subway...

6th
last day o conf...both rh & bj were presenting in e 730 slot...we had 2 get up @ 530...

there was a pathetic no o pple who turned up...there was only bj, rh, s, ct, me, & e other 2 presentors...rh went 1st...his presentation was kind o boring...i expected more fr him...bj was nx 2 present, & there were more pple turning up...surprisingly bj presented really well...i wld say i was really proud o her & o cos myself...cos i prepared e presentation...

i went 2 e nx session on fabricated & induced illness...again i was smacked wif a horrific video clip...a father was smothering a baby...e baby's legs were fratically kicking...it was really hard 2 swallow...really scary...

i decided 2 go off after tis session as there was an accident @ e train stn & there were delays...i was supposed 2 go 2 paris 2 meet e rest...so i took a cab wif sme other delegates who were also leaving...

thk gdness e train 2 london was not affected...rc in time 4 eurostar 2 paris...

& by tis time, e weather was starting 2 turn rather warm...it was freezing when i 1st got in london...

rc paris ard 7+pm...met tcc, swing & cl...went bk 2 e hostel...e shower was e most interesting..will post it when tcc comes bk wif her camera...

e rm was so noisy...cos juz outside e window was a cross jn...e other 3 were wasted...cos they had a 16hr flight all e way fr spore...my nite was long....

hello...

it's been a long long time since i've blogged..

busy busy busy...wif 2 projects on hand & e York Congress...finally congress over...& i spent 10 days touring western europe...i walked alot...saw a lot o things...

juz came bk on sun evening..

not much jet-lag...but still a little spaced out smetimes...

started work immediately...i'm still stuck wif e 2 projects...i tot i cld wash my hands clean o 1 o them cos they employing another RO...but in e end i got stuck 2 do e report...haizzz...

so many things 2 b completed by end o e mth...

i haven really started my engine after coming bk...

mole...

there's an interesting article regarding moles on e body...

http://www.wofs.com/fsw.php?load=arcview&article=756&c=miscellaneous

i dunno la...really...haizzz...

smetimes i really pity her...but tt doesnt mean tt i agree tt she shld stay on...i tink e boss had been giving her way 2 much chance...ok she's not as bad as L...but...she's a bigger muddlehead den any o us...& tt cld really get on e nerves o every1...

& i really 1ed 2 jump on her once...e only gd tt she cld redeem herself is her IT knowledge...but currently e connection here sucks & nth much cld b done & it sort o diminish her role even more given tt she cant solve e problem...

i dunno if she's given 2 much things 2 do or not...

like me, when i've 2 many things 2 handle i miss out details...

i really dunno...she always say she knows, she will do it...etc...but in e end things not done...& others r fretting over it...& when e boss tells her she say she'll improve...haizz..it's been once 2 many times oredi loh...

e 2 yrs tt i've been here...she has not handled things as well as wat she's supposed 2...i cant say she sucks but she's not doing e best o jobs...i wonder if she realises it...

i really hope tt she look 4 sth else...cos it's really not her forte here...

i can understd their hostility...& e gossiping...i did e same when L was such a pain in my ass...

i dunno la...i tink it's really time she look 4 sth else...i hope e boss had done sth...else it's putting a strain on others...

when i heard tt e boss wld b giving both her & me an extra half/1 day off cos o our involvemt in special proj, i smehow felt tt e measuremt yardstick was broken...

she worked hard....but it's cos she was not organised enough 2 complete e things...i worked hard cos there was so much 2 do...i dunno mayb i dunno wat she had done...

althought e extra time-off can never compensate 4 e amt o time tt i put in, it sort o gave recognition 2 e work tt i've done....it's supposed 2 b reflected in e appraisal, & appraisal is linked 2 wage increment!!!

i hope i get due recognition...

felt e tremours on wed...kind o scary...& we knew smrt was doing sme constructions...1st tot nichol highway...e trembling lasted 4 quite sme time...felt it again ytd...e ans tt e management gave:

"LTA engineer has clarify that the vibration comes from the vibration roller from the National Library as they are carrying out some road works over at our carpark entrance.

There is no need for any evacuation.

In any case of emergency that requires a total evacuation, our building fire alarm bell will sound continues. Upon hearing that then an evacuation is require.

We will follow up closely with our surrounding contractors on their activities."


i'm feeling e tremblings now again...but e roller machine is not moving at all.....hmmm...

i dun 1 2 die ah....not cos o sme stupid construction...

i can finally sit down 2 a proper meal...ahhhh....it feels really wonderful...

but i guess it will only last no more den a wk...cross my fingers...

i'm starting 2 get e jitters even b4 it starts...

i guess all women r e same...i guess it's e hormones...i guess we feel loneliness more emotionally...

finally...i sort o got sme reprievation...

ytd's mtg...finally finally...Prof E...he finally said e golden words...not outright, but definitely e message was out...

at least pple recognise e hardship & hardwork...i hope i get due recognition (in monetary forms i hope..)

fact 1: i hate chain-mail, so i'm not playing e blog tagging game ;p

Colic G:

now i know who e smartest is...now den i know...really v late...so tis is wat life is...really v naive...shld 've trusted tt nagging feeling in my heart...dogs tt dun bark really is e scariest...y didnt i get it when u told me...

click on e pic 2 enlarge..

wat's wrong???

i took a break ytd...hoping 2 recover fr tt irritating strain in my eyes & tt constant dull throbbing headache...& also 2 catch up on sme really needed slp...

i really wonder wat is wrong...e doc said tt it was probably e strain in my eyes tt caused my "muscle tension headache"...he precribed muscle relaxant medication which really knocked me out...& also sme medication 2 aid digestion...i've not been able 2 hold down much food...i get realy hungry but i've no appetite...& after eating, i get really sick...juz felt like throwing up, or it felt like e food was stuck btw my throat & tummy...

haizz...