my mom sort o found out abt my new rs....she asked my sis 2 ask me if my bf was tt young....i didn't reaffirm....i asked my sis, 3T, who said it...den i found out tt 1 o my sis, J, saw us at west coast & told my mom tt he looked v young, younger den 3T....but i dun really buy tt story....i tink S probably told J, & she told mom....but i dun 1 2 pursue e matter...i juz told J 2 tell mom tt everything is still immature & i dun 1 2 talk abt it....
he told me 2 not get angry wif my sis & 2 talk 2 my mom when i told him tt my mom found out abt him...
i dunno if i'm angry actually...i tink i'm not...juz tt i dunno wat 2 say abt e rs...till now i still have no idea how i feel actually....everytime i go v quiet, he'll ask me wat i'm tinking....if i've anything 2 say 2 him....i know i dun tell him a lot abt my feelings....cos i dunno wat 2 say or how i feel or even wat i tink... seriously i dunno...i dun 1 2 tink...but smehow i still nd 2 tink...
y is it never easy....y is it always so confusing....y do i have 2 tink abt these????do u really 've 2 tink abt things????
i like it tt we do spontaneous things....we had no idea wat 2 do ytd....i 1ed 2 eat mos burger so we went 2 PS...after tt we decided 2 catch a movie but nothing was interesting & e shows were late....so he suggested gg 2 s'pore river 2 walk walk....as we walked 2 e mrt, i remembered fort canning park, where we had e wmd, so i suggested walking there...kind o tough walking cos we juz had dinner....e place was quiet & nice...away fr e hustle & bustle...it's a really nice place except 4 e occasional mosquito.....walk walk walk...i've no idea where 2 go....den we saw e g-max....
i told him b4 tt i 1ed 2 try tt....so he said we shld go try....& we did....i did a whole load o screaming....although it wasn't as fun as skydiving....but i had fun....i didn't 1 e vcd cos i was so ugly but we got tt free & he kept it....
he keeps a lot o stuff...every little thing he keeps....he did ask me 2 keep but i told him i dun 1....i know he's v thoughtful & he treasures little little things...it's not tt i dun 1 2 treasure all these but i really dun 've e space 2 keep all these things...& i juz 1 2 keep e memory inside my small little brain...
it's sweet tt he does little acts 4 me...but i tink i never show him tt i appreciate it...serious, i dun tink i'm tt xi xin....i dun like soft toys, i dun like chocolates, i dun like little momentos....i wld rather keep everything in my heart & mind....he asked me abt my fav color etc...but i never bother 2 ask him....even when he mentions it i tink i probably 4got abt it...
my colics said tt they'll remember every little thing tt their partners say...ok so i'll try 2 make tt effort!!! i'm sorry dear....& i always poke fun at him....& i give him tt duh look everytime he say smething lame or stupid....ok i'm not tt great in my role as a gf....sorry.....
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Monday, April 25, 2005
You Are 22 Years Old |
22 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
so excited....
every1 seem so excited & happy tt i've got sme1 special in my life.....every1 looked so excited!!!!it's as though i struck 4D......his friends were equally excited looking..... i find it a little amusing actually.....dunno if it's cos every1 ard me is so excited tt i dun feel tt much excitement.....we've decided 2 go buy 4D 2gather.....i'm such a bad influence, getting him 2 gamble!!!! hahhaahaa....hope i really strike 4D!!!!cross fingers, cross toes.....
Monday, April 18, 2005
我不知道
我也不知道我自己要什么。。。她说她感觉不到应有的兴奋。。。她问我是否准备好了。。。我真的不知道。。。说完后，我一直觉得头麻痹。。。一直无法清楚的想。。。事情发生得真的快了些。。。他也有同感。。。不过，我们决定想一起走走。。。我很高兴他很迁就我，很想知道我的看法。。。可能我真的没好好说出自己的想法吧。。。可能我自己到 现在都无法真的相信所有发生的事。。。他也无法相信。。。我的脑袋里一直空荡荡的。。。不知道是否是因为太累。。。我让他做主，无须我想。。。他让我觉得开心。。。可我会不知不觉的想到我们之间的不同。。。特别是在朋友群中。。。他很大方。。。我很欣赏这点。。。他会让我把不同忘了。。。让我觉得无须解释。。。我很想让他知道我很开心，不知道他是否感觉得到我和他在一起的快乐。。。快乐就好吧。。。不同只是自己和社会设定的吧。。。真的无须理会别人的看法。。。自己快乐真的才是最重要。。。不必TTM。。。我应该卸下TTMG President 的 position 4 a while....so VP pls take charge o e club while I 闭关修练 4 a while....
fell off my chair....
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
THEN THEN THEN i tot it should be gone.. i mean fly out
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
flew bk in?
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
ahhahaa
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
THEN THEN 2 days later i found it dead lying outside my store room hahaha
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
i dunno why dead haha
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
how u know it's e same?
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
i wan to ask my family did they kill the cockroach
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
haha that's a good question
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
hahhahaa
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
i always tot it's the same one cos of the size haha....
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
i fall off chair!
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
_ _
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
i dunno wat 2 say......
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
_ _
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
fine
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
ahahhaaaa....
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
i still rem the cockroach so i tot it mite be it
THEN THEN THEN i tot it should be gone.. i mean fly out
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
flew bk in?
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
ahhahaa
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
THEN THEN 2 days later i found it dead lying outside my store room hahaha
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
i dunno why dead haha
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
how u know it's e same?
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
i wan to ask my family did they kill the cockroach
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
haha that's a good question
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
hahhahaa
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
i always tot it's the same one cos of the size haha....
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
i fall off chair!
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
_ _
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
i dunno wat 2 say......
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
_ _
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
fine
...e tiredness o e physical overtook e eagerness o e mental.... says:
ahahhaaaa....
ε Θ )ß Yollev Torchic says:
i still rem the cockroach so i tot it mite be it
April 18, 2005
UPFRONT
US child sex criminals getting away with it
By Paul Zach
Straits Times US Bureau
CLEVELAND (OHIO) - LITTLE Jessica Lunsford was a picture of happy innocence.
A photograph of the nine-year-old smiling under a fuzzy pink hat was broadcast repeatedly on TV across the United States after she disappeared from her bed one night in late February.
All the publicity raised hopes that Jessica would quickly be found. But as the days passed, the optimism turned to dread.
Singaporeans experienced the same feelings last year after seeing pictures of Huang Na, the
eight-year-old from China who disappeared. Hope turned to horror when her tiny body was found crammed into a cardboard box at Telok Blangah Hill Park.
Police here in the US dug up Jessica's body too, behind a neighbour's house just 150m from her bedroom in Homossasa, Florida.
Not only is she believed to have been sexually assaulted, but she may have been buried alive, CNN and Fox News said.
Such crimes against children happen all too often in the US.
Last week, 13-year-old Sarah Lunde was reported missing from home, not far from where Jessica disappeared. Police say a body found in a pond at an abandoned fishing camp on Saturday is almost certainly hers.
Each week the National Centre For Missing & Exploited Children sends cards bearing photos of children who have vanished to 79 million homes across the country each week.
It reports that in 1999, the latest year studied, 58,200 children were abducted by non-family members. It also said that one in five girls and one in 10 boys in this country are exploited sexually, and less than 35 per cent of those assaults are reported.
Another study reported by the centre revealed that about 100 children who go missing are found dead each year.
In fact, as Florida police were digging up Jessica's body, 10-year-old Jetseta Gage was kidnapped from her home in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Her body was found the next day in a mobile home.
In Massillon, Ohio, a predator has tried to abduct nine children since February.
In one case, the man pulled his car into a driveway where a six-year-old boy was playing alone and held out a bag of sweets. The boy's father came to the rescue, but the man sped away.
In the same city in the 1980s, two little girls were raped and murdered. In one of those cases, a neighbour was sentenced to death for killing seven-year-old Marie Hendershot. But the Governor of Ohio commuted the sentence to life in prison.
And there's the rub.
Few would disagree with the view that the American penal and legal system is increasingly weighted in favour of criminals at the expense of victims, even when they are children.
Court rulings have made it difficult for prosecutors to win convictions, and even those who are convicted are soon on the streets again.
Investigators say a convicted sex offender, John Evander Couey, 46, has confessed to abducting and killing Jessica.
The drifter had already been arrested 24 times, including on a 1991 charge of fondling a child.
He had absconded more than once and, at the time of Jessica's disappearance, was wanted for a parole violation.
Jetseta's body was found in a mobile home with Roger Bentley, 37, police said, and he has been charged with her murder. He had already served two years in prison for abusing another child.
In the case of Sarah's disappearance, police are interviewing yet another sex offender - one of 24 who lived in her neighbourhood.
Jessica's father Mark, and Roy Brown, whose 7-year-old daughter, Amanda, was killed by a convicted child molester in 1997, had both joined the search for Sarah.
It took an earlier case involving a little girl before many Americans were even allowed to know that such sex offenders roamed freely in their midst.
In 1995, Megan Kanka, a seven-year-old New Jersey girl, was raped and murdered by a convicted child molester who lived across the street.
Her parents did not know he was there: nothing in the law protected Megan, but a law shielded the murderer, preventing police from releasing sex-offender information on him.
A public outcry led to Megan's Law. It now allows public access to such information, including on the Internet.
Just a year later, however, nine-year-old Amber Hagerman was riding her bike near her home in Arlington, Texas, singing America The Beautiful, when a man in a truck snatched her.
Four days later, her body was found in a ditch, her throat cut.
Concerned citizens again responded, helping set up the Amber Alert, in which Americans nationwide are informed over TV and radio whenever a child is abducted.
The system has helped recover 198 children since it was established, according to Mr Jim Libonati of the National Centre For Missing & Exploited Children.
Still, neither effort saved Jessica or Jetseta, and many Americans are now taking a harder look at their legal system.
An alert on the Congress.org website noted that while Jessica and Jetseta were being murdered, most politicians were focused on the case of the court-ordered removal of a feeding tube from the brain-damaged Mrs Terri Schiavo.
It pointed out that, unlike in the Schiavo case, there had been no special legislative sessions or emergency convening of Congress or state politicians for either girl. It urged Congress: 'Please strongly consider immediately discussing legislation that will allow for stricter sentencing guidelines, and monitoring of sexual offenders.'
Congressman Ginny Brown-Waite presented a proposal last week for new federal sex offender legislation named for yet another victim, the Jessica Lunsford Act. Yet what's still not getting enough attention is making sure that justice is done right from the start.
That was highlighted recently here in Cleveland.
Despite considerable evidence against him, a jury acquitted Mr Daniel Hines, 26, of the rape, murder and dismemberment of 11-year-old Shakira Johnson.
After three days of deliberations the jury asked the judge for a definition of 'reasonable doubt' - American juries are told by courts they cannot convict a person if they have such a doubt.
Last month, he was put on trial again, this time for trying to rape his 13-year-old cousin. The court heard that when her brother and a friend, Marine Private Brandon Sloan, tried to stop him, he attacked them.
Pte Sloan confirmed all that in court. But after 12 hours of deliberations, the judge declared a hung jury.
Mr Hines was cleared again.
UPFRONT
US child sex criminals getting away with it
By Paul Zach
Straits Times US Bureau
CLEVELAND (OHIO) - LITTLE Jessica Lunsford was a picture of happy innocence.
A photograph of the nine-year-old smiling under a fuzzy pink hat was broadcast repeatedly on TV across the United States after she disappeared from her bed one night in late February.
All the publicity raised hopes that Jessica would quickly be found. But as the days passed, the optimism turned to dread.
Singaporeans experienced the same feelings last year after seeing pictures of Huang Na, the
eight-year-old from China who disappeared. Hope turned to horror when her tiny body was found crammed into a cardboard box at Telok Blangah Hill Park.
Police here in the US dug up Jessica's body too, behind a neighbour's house just 150m from her bedroom in Homossasa, Florida.
Not only is she believed to have been sexually assaulted, but she may have been buried alive, CNN and Fox News said.
Such crimes against children happen all too often in the US.
Last week, 13-year-old Sarah Lunde was reported missing from home, not far from where Jessica disappeared. Police say a body found in a pond at an abandoned fishing camp on Saturday is almost certainly hers.
Each week the National Centre For Missing & Exploited Children sends cards bearing photos of children who have vanished to 79 million homes across the country each week.
It reports that in 1999, the latest year studied, 58,200 children were abducted by non-family members. It also said that one in five girls and one in 10 boys in this country are exploited sexually, and less than 35 per cent of those assaults are reported.
Another study reported by the centre revealed that about 100 children who go missing are found dead each year.
In fact, as Florida police were digging up Jessica's body, 10-year-old Jetseta Gage was kidnapped from her home in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Her body was found the next day in a mobile home.
In Massillon, Ohio, a predator has tried to abduct nine children since February.
In one case, the man pulled his car into a driveway where a six-year-old boy was playing alone and held out a bag of sweets. The boy's father came to the rescue, but the man sped away.
In the same city in the 1980s, two little girls were raped and murdered. In one of those cases, a neighbour was sentenced to death for killing seven-year-old Marie Hendershot. But the Governor of Ohio commuted the sentence to life in prison.
And there's the rub.
Few would disagree with the view that the American penal and legal system is increasingly weighted in favour of criminals at the expense of victims, even when they are children.
Court rulings have made it difficult for prosecutors to win convictions, and even those who are convicted are soon on the streets again.
Investigators say a convicted sex offender, John Evander Couey, 46, has confessed to abducting and killing Jessica.
The drifter had already been arrested 24 times, including on a 1991 charge of fondling a child.
He had absconded more than once and, at the time of Jessica's disappearance, was wanted for a parole violation.
Jetseta's body was found in a mobile home with Roger Bentley, 37, police said, and he has been charged with her murder. He had already served two years in prison for abusing another child.
In the case of Sarah's disappearance, police are interviewing yet another sex offender - one of 24 who lived in her neighbourhood.
Jessica's father Mark, and Roy Brown, whose 7-year-old daughter, Amanda, was killed by a convicted child molester in 1997, had both joined the search for Sarah.
It took an earlier case involving a little girl before many Americans were even allowed to know that such sex offenders roamed freely in their midst.
In 1995, Megan Kanka, a seven-year-old New Jersey girl, was raped and murdered by a convicted child molester who lived across the street.
Her parents did not know he was there: nothing in the law protected Megan, but a law shielded the murderer, preventing police from releasing sex-offender information on him.
A public outcry led to Megan's Law. It now allows public access to such information, including on the Internet.
Just a year later, however, nine-year-old Amber Hagerman was riding her bike near her home in Arlington, Texas, singing America The Beautiful, when a man in a truck snatched her.
Four days later, her body was found in a ditch, her throat cut.
Concerned citizens again responded, helping set up the Amber Alert, in which Americans nationwide are informed over TV and radio whenever a child is abducted.
The system has helped recover 198 children since it was established, according to Mr Jim Libonati of the National Centre For Missing & Exploited Children.
Still, neither effort saved Jessica or Jetseta, and many Americans are now taking a harder look at their legal system.
An alert on the Congress.org website noted that while Jessica and Jetseta were being murdered, most politicians were focused on the case of the court-ordered removal of a feeding tube from the brain-damaged Mrs Terri Schiavo.
It pointed out that, unlike in the Schiavo case, there had been no special legislative sessions or emergency convening of Congress or state politicians for either girl. It urged Congress: 'Please strongly consider immediately discussing legislation that will allow for stricter sentencing guidelines, and monitoring of sexual offenders.'
Congressman Ginny Brown-Waite presented a proposal last week for new federal sex offender legislation named for yet another victim, the Jessica Lunsford Act. Yet what's still not getting enough attention is making sure that justice is done right from the start.
That was highlighted recently here in Cleveland.
Despite considerable evidence against him, a jury acquitted Mr Daniel Hines, 26, of the rape, murder and dismemberment of 11-year-old Shakira Johnson.
After three days of deliberations the jury asked the judge for a definition of 'reasonable doubt' - American juries are told by courts they cannot convict a person if they have such a doubt.
Last month, he was put on trial again, this time for trying to rape his 13-year-old cousin. The court heard that when her brother and a friend, Marine Private Brandon Sloan, tried to stop him, he attacked them.
Pte Sloan confirmed all that in court. But after 12 hours of deliberations, the judge declared a hung jury.
Mr Hines was cleared again.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Dakota by the Stereophonics.....
Thinking about thinking of you
Some of the time thinking it was due
Yeah thinking it was due.
Laying back, head on the grass
Children grown having some laughs
Yeah having some laughs.
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Drinking back, drinking for two
Drinking with you
And drinking was new
Sleeping in the back of my car
Never went far
Needed to go far
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
I don’t know where we are going no
I don’t know where we are going no
Wake up for coffee and juice
Remembering you
What happened to you?
I wonder if we’ll meet again
Talk about us instead
Talk about why did it end
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
I don’t know where we are going no
I don’t know where we are going no
So take a look at me now
Some of the time thinking it was due
Yeah thinking it was due.
Laying back, head on the grass
Children grown having some laughs
Yeah having some laughs.
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Drinking back, drinking for two
Drinking with you
And drinking was new
Sleeping in the back of my car
Never went far
Needed to go far
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
I don’t know where we are going no
I don’t know where we are going no
Wake up for coffee and juice
Remembering you
What happened to you?
I wonder if we’ll meet again
Talk about us instead
Talk about why did it end
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
I don’t know where we are going no
I don’t know where we are going no
So take a look at me now
i dunno y....
i dunno y but i seriously dislike her!!!! every little thing she does i find it irritating....i try my v best not 2 show my feelings but still i get frustrated wif her....shoot.....does it help tt i know others r equally frustrated wif her??? no it doesn't actually....i feel a little pang o sympathy 4 her but still i cannot help myself fr disliking her......& wondering always y she does e things she does....y y y.....it doesn't make me feel any beta tt others show their displeasure more explicitly than me.....still i hope she can buck up!!!!! pls!!!! 4 ur own sake & 4 every1 working wif u pls pls pls pull up ur socks!!!!!
many many things happened....
many many things happened during e past few days & i'm not even begining 2 comprehend wat is gg on....
my tkd grading was over....butterflies in e stomach as usu b4 e grading....but in e end all was well....results shld b known in 2 wks time.....
i held his hand 1st cos he was obviously shy 2 do it.....so i held his hand.....i bet he was shocked!!! i didn't know y i held his hand.....juz felt like it i guess.....
we talked abt little little things....but obviously he wasn't warmed up after e movie where i sprung a surprise attack on his hand....but gradually as we shopped ard he started 2 b more relaxed.....
he knew i was nervous abt my grading.....he offered 2 accompany me 2 e stadium e next day....i didn't 1 him 2 watch me do my grading so i tok him not 2....he insisted tt he was gg there 2 return sme stuff 2 a friend who was there 2 do grading 2.....so we made e trip 2gather....sweet o him....
i made him leave e stadium once i reached & he had returned his stuff 2 his friend....but yes he didn't go....i didn't know abt it until much later in e day.....
went 4 my dragonboat trg after my grading....been a long long time since i've last went 4 trg.....still aching now....
when i reached home, i was so tired....but he sms me tt he had smething 2 say 2 me once i reached home....so i smsed him....
his sms read: "i luv u....."
i was really stunned & speechlesss.....i dunno how 2 reply.....it was seriously a little 2 fast ain't it??? when i didn't reply, he smsed me:"so do u have anything 2 say 2 me???"
i was seriously speechless & totally numb....not sure if it's cos i was so stoned after a full day o activity.....
i dun remember e exact msg tt i smsed him....but i told him tt it was sweet & tt i was totally numb.....
after a few smses later, i smsed him:" is it weird tt i feel like seeing u now?".....
cos i seriously 1ed 2 look at him when he said wat he said....
a few other smses later, i was really tired & told him tt i was gg 2 bed....he was oredi on his way 2 my place!!! so i waited 4 him.....
when i met him....e 1st thing he said was:"i dunno y i'm here....but i'm here....".... i sort o melted at tt moment....he was blushing, i'm not sure if it was cos he rushed 2 my place or cos he was shy....it was probably a combination o both.....
e worst part o e mtg was my sis saw us.....& knowing her KP character, every1 in my family know tt i was holding sme guy's hand......i cant say my family's not close, but i've yet 2 make head & tail out o tis whole situation so i didn't 1 2 announce 2 e world tt there's tis cute young boy tt i'm c-ing.....
& i seriously dun tink they wld understd y i wld c sme1 so much younger than me....much younger than my youngest sis even!!!
anyway, i tink i'll start tinking abt it when he comes bk fr m'sia & when he has finished his exams.....4 now....i know tt i like him.....tt's abt wat i can say.....
my tkd grading was over....butterflies in e stomach as usu b4 e grading....but in e end all was well....results shld b known in 2 wks time.....
i held his hand 1st cos he was obviously shy 2 do it.....so i held his hand.....i bet he was shocked!!! i didn't know y i held his hand.....juz felt like it i guess.....
we talked abt little little things....but obviously he wasn't warmed up after e movie where i sprung a surprise attack on his hand....but gradually as we shopped ard he started 2 b more relaxed.....
he knew i was nervous abt my grading.....he offered 2 accompany me 2 e stadium e next day....i didn't 1 him 2 watch me do my grading so i tok him not 2....he insisted tt he was gg there 2 return sme stuff 2 a friend who was there 2 do grading 2.....so we made e trip 2gather....sweet o him....
i made him leave e stadium once i reached & he had returned his stuff 2 his friend....but yes he didn't go....i didn't know abt it until much later in e day.....
went 4 my dragonboat trg after my grading....been a long long time since i've last went 4 trg.....still aching now....
when i reached home, i was so tired....but he sms me tt he had smething 2 say 2 me once i reached home....so i smsed him....
his sms read: "i luv u....."
i was really stunned & speechlesss.....i dunno how 2 reply.....it was seriously a little 2 fast ain't it??? when i didn't reply, he smsed me:"so do u have anything 2 say 2 me???"
i was seriously speechless & totally numb....not sure if it's cos i was so stoned after a full day o activity.....
i dun remember e exact msg tt i smsed him....but i told him tt it was sweet & tt i was totally numb.....
after a few smses later, i smsed him:" is it weird tt i feel like seeing u now?".....
cos i seriously 1ed 2 look at him when he said wat he said....
a few other smses later, i was really tired & told him tt i was gg 2 bed....he was oredi on his way 2 my place!!! so i waited 4 him.....
when i met him....e 1st thing he said was:"i dunno y i'm here....but i'm here....".... i sort o melted at tt moment....he was blushing, i'm not sure if it was cos he rushed 2 my place or cos he was shy....it was probably a combination o both.....
e worst part o e mtg was my sis saw us.....& knowing her KP character, every1 in my family know tt i was holding sme guy's hand......i cant say my family's not close, but i've yet 2 make head & tail out o tis whole situation so i didn't 1 2 announce 2 e world tt there's tis cute young boy tt i'm c-ing.....
& i seriously dun tink they wld understd y i wld c sme1 so much younger than me....much younger than my youngest sis even!!!
anyway, i tink i'll start tinking abt it when he comes bk fr m'sia & when he has finished his exams.....4 now....i know tt i like him.....tt's abt wat i can say.....
Friday, April 08, 2005
Thursday, April 07, 2005
bintan 05.04.03 - 05.04.05
i 1ed 2 write tis blog entry in chinese actually but i'm in nie now...dunno how 2 use chinese here....didn't have time 2 blog ytd.....
i cried in e showers again ytd....i remembered very clearly e other time i did tt was in jc....after jj lost e volleyball game.....i wrote in my journal my feelings & torchic read it....she said she dun understd y i cried.....i was tinking abt it & i tink it's cos i felt bad.....or mayb i was very touched by e whole event & e more i tink abt it while i was in e showers, i cried....tt was probably it....
anyway bk 2 e bintan story.....i was walking home after tkd.....along e way i started 2 tink abt wat i shld b blogging....tinking as i walked....i felt e urge 2 cry.....as i passed by shuqun pri sch, i lifted my head 2 look at e stars....wah........there was a lot!!!!!!! but i've no idea wat constellation they belonged 2......
I cried…..we didn’t get 2 c stars at bintan, but tis trip I discovered smething more….a friendship tt I know I’m so fortunate 2 have…..
I cried at bintan….at e beach….not fr laughter….but a sense o contentment….a sense o being so fortunate……we didn’t c e stars but we saw more……e sometimes snow-like spectacle, & most times e most magical feel….i was mesmerized by e whole thing…..it looked like millions & millions o shooting stars….i made a wish….tt every1 wld b幸福.....cos I felt so幸福.....e rain started 2 get bigger….we decided 2 leave…..but we stopped at e shelter…..there…..it was more spectacular….every1 stood there 2gather…..i cld feel e body heat….warming not juz my body….but my heart…..i cried at tt pt….& I’m crying as I re-live tt moment…..
I dunno y but I’m so high during e 3 days……we didn’t do much things but I discovered smething much more…..i discovered tt 幸福原来是那么简单.....i didn’t hold any expectations b4 e trip…..i only 1ed 2 slack & do nothing…& I discovered tt I got more in return…..
I kept asking myself tis qn….y I’m so fortunate 2 have tis bunch o friends….i must have done a lot o gd deeds in my previous life!!!! & they r all here 2 return e favor in tis lifetime!!!!
Yes I’m gg 2 use my tagline: I’m not ugly, I’ve a gd family, I’ve a gd job, I dun ‘ve much 2 worry abt, I’ve a bunch o such gd friends, I’m really very 幸福......
Tis bunch o gals who in spite o my eye rolling reflex (& not 2 nice smelling s***), continue 2 make me laugh & feel happy, & make me cry…..thks gals!!!! I really appreciate it……u gals mean more than friends 2 me…..
i cried in e showers again ytd....i remembered very clearly e other time i did tt was in jc....after jj lost e volleyball game.....i wrote in my journal my feelings & torchic read it....she said she dun understd y i cried.....i was tinking abt it & i tink it's cos i felt bad.....or mayb i was very touched by e whole event & e more i tink abt it while i was in e showers, i cried....tt was probably it....
anyway bk 2 e bintan story.....i was walking home after tkd.....along e way i started 2 tink abt wat i shld b blogging....tinking as i walked....i felt e urge 2 cry.....as i passed by shuqun pri sch, i lifted my head 2 look at e stars....wah........there was a lot!!!!!!! but i've no idea wat constellation they belonged 2......
I cried…..we didn’t get 2 c stars at bintan, but tis trip I discovered smething more….a friendship tt I know I’m so fortunate 2 have…..
I cried at bintan….at e beach….not fr laughter….but a sense o contentment….a sense o being so fortunate……we didn’t c e stars but we saw more……e sometimes snow-like spectacle, & most times e most magical feel….i was mesmerized by e whole thing…..it looked like millions & millions o shooting stars….i made a wish….tt every1 wld b幸福.....cos I felt so幸福.....e rain started 2 get bigger….we decided 2 leave…..but we stopped at e shelter…..there…..it was more spectacular….every1 stood there 2gather…..i cld feel e body heat….warming not juz my body….but my heart…..i cried at tt pt….& I’m crying as I re-live tt moment…..
I dunno y but I’m so high during e 3 days……we didn’t do much things but I discovered smething much more…..i discovered tt 幸福原来是那么简单.....i didn’t hold any expectations b4 e trip…..i only 1ed 2 slack & do nothing…& I discovered tt I got more in return…..
I kept asking myself tis qn….y I’m so fortunate 2 have tis bunch o friends….i must have done a lot o gd deeds in my previous life!!!! & they r all here 2 return e favor in tis lifetime!!!!
Yes I’m gg 2 use my tagline: I’m not ugly, I’ve a gd family, I’ve a gd job, I dun ‘ve much 2 worry abt, I’ve a bunch o such gd friends, I’m really very 幸福......
Tis bunch o gals who in spite o my eye rolling reflex (& not 2 nice smelling s***), continue 2 make me laugh & feel happy, & make me cry…..thks gals!!!! I really appreciate it……u gals mean more than friends 2 me…..
Official Award Letter
Dear Zhen,
This is to officially inform you that you've been awarded the life-long membership to the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.
With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG
This is to officially inform you that you've been awarded the life-long membership to the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.
With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG
Official Appointment Letter
Dear Juan,
This is to officially inform you that you've been appointed the Treasurer of the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.
With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG
This is to officially inform you that you've been appointed the Treasurer of the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.
With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG
i'm so dense...
i was still wondering y he never asked me out.....how weird tt things developed via sms only....i spoke 2 him only twice after our dive....juz morning calls.....& i knew he must have practised a speech b4 he called me....hahahaa...he was so nervous....
i'm so dense!!!! until my dear colic mas enlightened me ytd....hahahaha....i'm so laughing at myself!!!!!he did dropped hints but i never caught them....hahahaa....ok so now i get how tis whole game o love works!!!!at least how e initial part is like.....hahhaaaa....we're gg out 4 movie on sat.....i dunno if i'm excited abt it.....i'm actually more worried tt we've nothing 2 say actually......
haizzzz....c how it goes la.....
i'm so dense!!!! until my dear colic mas enlightened me ytd....hahahaha....i'm so laughing at myself!!!!!he did dropped hints but i never caught them....hahahaa....ok so now i get how tis whole game o love works!!!!at least how e initial part is like.....hahhaaaa....we're gg out 4 movie on sat.....i dunno if i'm excited abt it.....i'm actually more worried tt we've nothing 2 say actually......
haizzzz....c how it goes la.....
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
seawater is gd 4 cough!!!!
amazingly my cough is getting so much beta!!!!dunno if it's cos i drank so much seawater or is it becos i'm so happy.....hahhahaaa...anyway.....i'm so so so happy.....indulging myself again.....hahhahaa....3 cheers 2 our TTMG club!!!! hip hip hurray...hip hip hurray...hip hip HURRAY!!!!!!! ;P
Monday, March 28, 2005
WMD fest....
shoot....2 times!!!! i deleted my own post 4 2 consecutive times!
anyway....
WMDfest....i dun tink it was a real sucess but it was a gd event, & i'm glad i was part o it....
e last 3 days i was happy......sun was happy wif e purchases tt i made!!!! although i burned a hole in my pocket......
fri & sat was busy wif e WMD.....but i was happy 4 another reason.....yes ultra ur guess was correct....u can really read me.....
he's juz sweet......wif his smses.....i didn't 1 2 tell u gals abt him until he stops his smses....but he continued wif his sweet smses......it's sweet.....i'm overdosing myself.....i shldn't b tinking so much but i did anyway...& i'm indulging myself.....ok tell u gals more abt wat happened on thu.....i'm gg 4 a SPSS launch tmr so tt's no chance u gals can grill me then!!!! hheheheheee....
anyway, he's really young.....but he's sweet.....& i shld seriously stop tinkin gso much.....
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Official Award Letter
Dear Ultra,
This is to officially inform you that you've been awarded the life-long membership to the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.
With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG
This is to officially inform you that you've been awarded the life-long membership to the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.
With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG
Official Appointment Letter
Dear Owl,
This is to officially inform you that you've been appointed the Secretary of the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.
With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG
This is to officially inform you that you've been appointed the Secretary of the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.
With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG
Official Appointment Letter
Dear Torchic,
This is to officially inform you that you've been appointed the Vice President of the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.
With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG
This is to officially inform you that you've been appointed the Vice President of the exclusive club, Club TTMG. You do not need to reply to this letter unless you wish to revoke your position. In the latter case, the President of the Club will look into the case personally.
With many happy regards,
Bionicgal
President, Club TTMG
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
CLUB TTMG
Club President: Bionicgal
Vice President: Torchic
Secretary: Owl
Life-long Member: Ultra
For eligibility to this exclusive club, pls try to TTM every day, every hr, every min, every sec....
For subscription to club please write to comments@bionicgal
Motto: TTM every waking & sleeping moment....TTM is not a fault, it's a rite....
Vice President: Torchic
Secretary: Owl
Life-long Member: Ultra
For eligibility to this exclusive club, pls try to TTM every day, every hr, every min, every sec....
For subscription to club please write to comments@bionicgal
Motto: TTM every waking & sleeping moment....TTM is not a fault, it's a rite....
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Friday, March 18, 2005
a week ago....
exactly a week ago....i took e bus 2 transview.....all ready 2 go 4 my open waters.....i dun really my feeling then....i guess i was in a pretty much concussed state then cos i had 2 wake up really early 2 do publicity at orchard hotel....which wasn't part o my job actually....
when we reached, doremon was there....saw e list o pple who were gg.....all their passport no. start fr 80+++ much much younger than us.....then there was tis whole bunch o NS guys (same crew cut, same poser pattern....) coach ride 2 mersing was kind o uncomfortable cos i kept swinging here & there.....but it was still ok, at least i wasn't having any travel sickness....ferry ride was also smooth but rather cold......
reached e resort ard 6am....we had 2 wake up at 8 4 breakfast then e dive.....i ko almost immediately when i reach e bed....
i woke...still sleepy but excited....breakfast wasn't tt gd actually & i didn't 1 2 eat 2 much else i wld puke.....moses gave a little talk under e coconut trees then we had 2 change & get ready.....
1st dive, giant stride......wasn't tinking much...juz doing.....snokled a bit while waiting 4 e others 2 jump in....fishes...reefs...i was happy......descend.....shit, i hit e reefs....i bent my knees but i hit e reefs wif my knees 2....sorry coral reefs!!!!! a run o e skills tt we learnt....finished...
2nd dive a bit chaotic....every1 was floating here there everywhere.....haonian & victor were having trouble contolling every1....moses was helping pam equalise her ears....but tis dive was where i saw e most beautiful things among all e 5 dives.....i wasn't as frightened as i tot i wld b...mayb becos i saw e others who were much more KC than me.....hhahaaaa....
3rd was ok....but e current at e surface was making me a little scared actually.....but underneath it was peace & quiet.......
end o 1st day's dive.....had dounuts 4 tea...btw e lunch suck big time...but again i didn't take much cos i was afraid i wld get seasick....
sat at e beach...looking at e sunset....relaxing....even though i knew time was short....i felt gd.....climbed e bridge...wobbly at certain parts....not much o an adventure....but fr e brige, e sunset was even more beautiful....
e nite was e best.....e stars.....i was totally absorbed in it......it was beautiful.....tt momentous blackout was e highlight.....stars.......wow.......
more fun wif e other open water divers.....all youngsters fr SP.....young men...or shld i say boys becoming men.....cute...innocent...gentlemenly most o e time....
2 more dives then we were on our way bk 2 s'pore......kind o sad actually.....i knew time was short but it was really 2 short.....
e last meal o tt day, at fong seng....prata wif teh tarik.....took cab home wif haonian....he asked...y did u 1 2 dive.....i paused.....i 1ed 2 overcome my phobia.....u did well then! congrats....yes i did it....& i'm glad.....
i'm sure many times we have many different phobias & we choose not 2 face them.....but when u do, they may not b as scary as they seem.....i tried & i succeeded.....
when we reached, doremon was there....saw e list o pple who were gg.....all their passport no. start fr 80+++ much much younger than us.....then there was tis whole bunch o NS guys (same crew cut, same poser pattern....) coach ride 2 mersing was kind o uncomfortable cos i kept swinging here & there.....but it was still ok, at least i wasn't having any travel sickness....ferry ride was also smooth but rather cold......
reached e resort ard 6am....we had 2 wake up at 8 4 breakfast then e dive.....i ko almost immediately when i reach e bed....
i woke...still sleepy but excited....breakfast wasn't tt gd actually & i didn't 1 2 eat 2 much else i wld puke.....moses gave a little talk under e coconut trees then we had 2 change & get ready.....
1st dive, giant stride......wasn't tinking much...juz doing.....snokled a bit while waiting 4 e others 2 jump in....fishes...reefs...i was happy......descend.....shit, i hit e reefs....i bent my knees but i hit e reefs wif my knees 2....sorry coral reefs!!!!! a run o e skills tt we learnt....finished...
2nd dive a bit chaotic....every1 was floating here there everywhere.....haonian & victor were having trouble contolling every1....moses was helping pam equalise her ears....but tis dive was where i saw e most beautiful things among all e 5 dives.....i wasn't as frightened as i tot i wld b...mayb becos i saw e others who were much more KC than me.....hhahaaaa....
3rd was ok....but e current at e surface was making me a little scared actually.....but underneath it was peace & quiet.......
end o 1st day's dive.....had dounuts 4 tea...btw e lunch suck big time...but again i didn't take much cos i was afraid i wld get seasick....
sat at e beach...looking at e sunset....relaxing....even though i knew time was short....i felt gd.....climbed e bridge...wobbly at certain parts....not much o an adventure....but fr e brige, e sunset was even more beautiful....
e nite was e best.....e stars.....i was totally absorbed in it......it was beautiful.....tt momentous blackout was e highlight.....stars.......wow.......
more fun wif e other open water divers.....all youngsters fr SP.....young men...or shld i say boys becoming men.....cute...innocent...gentlemenly most o e time....
2 more dives then we were on our way bk 2 s'pore......kind o sad actually.....i knew time was short but it was really 2 short.....
e last meal o tt day, at fong seng....prata wif teh tarik.....took cab home wif haonian....he asked...y did u 1 2 dive.....i paused.....i 1ed 2 overcome my phobia.....u did well then! congrats....yes i did it....& i'm glad.....
i'm sure many times we have many different phobias & we choose not 2 face them.....but when u do, they may not b as scary as they seem.....i tried & i succeeded.....
Thursday, March 17, 2005
sometime vs sometimes.....
sometime
adv.
adv.
- At an indefinite or unstated time: I'll meet you sometime this afternoon.
- At an indefinite time in the future: Let's get together sometime.
- Obsolete. Sometimes.
- Archaic. Formerly.
adj.
- Having been at some prior time; former: a sometime secretary.
- Usage Problem. Occasional.
Usage Note: Sometime as an adjective has been employed to mean “former” since the 15th century. Since the 1930s, people have used it to mean “occasional”: the team's sometime star and sometime problem child. This latter use, however, is unacceptable to a majority of the Usage Panel.
adj : belonging to some prior time; "erstwhile friend"; "our former glory"; "the once capital of the state"; "her quondam lover" [syn: erstwhile(a), former(a), once(a), onetime(a), quondam(a), sometime(a)] adv : at some indefinite or unstated time; "let's get together sometime"; "everything has to end sometime"; "It was to be printed sometime later"
- At times; now and then.
- Obsolete. At some previous time; formerly.
adv : on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always; "sometimes she wished she were back in England"; "sometimes her photography is breathtaking"; "sometimes they come for a month; at other times for six months"
muay thai....
any1 interested in gg 4 1 or 2 weeks trg of muay thai in thailand??? check out the following site
http://www.phuket-muay-thai.com/index.htm
i'm planning 4 a short getaway then go 4 tis trg.....
http://www.phuket-muay-thai.com/index.htm
i'm planning 4 a short getaway then go 4 tis trg.....
happy st patrick's
happy st patrick's 2 all!!!!
wat's it celebrating actually i'm not 2 sure......
Fr http://www.stpatricksday.ie/cms/stpatricksday_history.html
St. Patrick's Day - History
St. Patrick's Festival was established by the Government of Ireland in November 1995.
The principle aim of St. Patrick's Festival, since its inauguration, is to develop a major annual international festival around the national holiday over which the 'owners' of the festival, the Irish people, would stand proud. It sets out to reflect the talents and achievements of Irish people on many national and world stages, and it acts as an exciting showcase for the manifold skills of the people of Ireland, of every age and social background.
As the one national holiday that is celebrated in more countries around the world than any other, St. Patrick's Day is the day when everyone wants to be Irish. However, it was a strange fact of life that the celebrations held in Ireland for St. Patrick's Day prior to 1996 paled in comparison to those held abroad, especially when one considers what an ideal opportunity the day represented to showcase Ireland and Dublin to the world. We set out to seize that opportunity, and completely transform the national and international perception of St. Patrick's Day in Dublin. This country is bursting with the kind of creative energy, ideas and enthusiasm required to do the job. Our job has been to harness them, and make our national holiday an unforgettable experience for all.
Why was it started?
St. Patrick's Festival was set up in November 1995 with the following brief from Government:
Offer a national festival that ranks amongst all of the greatest celebration in the world
Create energy and excitement throughout Ireland via innovation, creativity, grassroots involvement, and marketing activity provide the opportunity and motivation for people of Irish descent (and those who sometimes wish they were Irish) to attend and join in the imaginative and expressive celebrations project, internationally, an accurate image of Ireland as a creative, professional and sophisticated country with wide appeal, as we approach the new Millennium.
The first St Patrick's Festival was held over one day, and night, on March 17th 1996. With a little over four months in which to effect change, the main object was to demonstrate that changes were afoot and starting the process away from "just a parade". The live audience for the day was estimated to be 430,000.
In 1997, we dropped the word "Day" from our title and it became "St. Patrick's Festival", a three day event. The festival has since grown to become a four day festival and in 2001 is was enjoyed by 1.2million people.
Preparation for the first St Patrick's Festival used to take only 5 months, but with the growth of the Festival, it now takes 18 months to plan for Ireland's biggest annual celebration.
wat's it celebrating actually i'm not 2 sure......
Fr http://www.stpatricksday.ie/cms/stpatricksday_history.html
St. Patrick's Day - History
St. Patrick's Festival was established by the Government of Ireland in November 1995.
The principle aim of St. Patrick's Festival, since its inauguration, is to develop a major annual international festival around the national holiday over which the 'owners' of the festival, the Irish people, would stand proud. It sets out to reflect the talents and achievements of Irish people on many national and world stages, and it acts as an exciting showcase for the manifold skills of the people of Ireland, of every age and social background.
As the one national holiday that is celebrated in more countries around the world than any other, St. Patrick's Day is the day when everyone wants to be Irish. However, it was a strange fact of life that the celebrations held in Ireland for St. Patrick's Day prior to 1996 paled in comparison to those held abroad, especially when one considers what an ideal opportunity the day represented to showcase Ireland and Dublin to the world. We set out to seize that opportunity, and completely transform the national and international perception of St. Patrick's Day in Dublin. This country is bursting with the kind of creative energy, ideas and enthusiasm required to do the job. Our job has been to harness them, and make our national holiday an unforgettable experience for all.
Why was it started?
St. Patrick's Festival was set up in November 1995 with the following brief from Government:
Offer a national festival that ranks amongst all of the greatest celebration in the world
Create energy and excitement throughout Ireland via innovation, creativity, grassroots involvement, and marketing activity provide the opportunity and motivation for people of Irish descent (and those who sometimes wish they were Irish) to attend and join in the imaginative and expressive celebrations project, internationally, an accurate image of Ireland as a creative, professional and sophisticated country with wide appeal, as we approach the new Millennium.
The first St Patrick's Festival was held over one day, and night, on March 17th 1996. With a little over four months in which to effect change, the main object was to demonstrate that changes were afoot and starting the process away from "just a parade". The live audience for the day was estimated to be 430,000.
In 1997, we dropped the word "Day" from our title and it became "St. Patrick's Festival", a three day event. The festival has since grown to become a four day festival and in 2001 is was enjoyed by 1.2million people.
Preparation for the first St Patrick's Festival used to take only 5 months, but with the growth of the Festival, it now takes 18 months to plan for Ireland's biggest annual celebration.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
y do u 1 2 've kids????
y does any1 1 2 've kids???? seriously, i can't find an ans 2 tt.....or rather i find e ans i get disappointing....give ur comments on tis issue on http://kenjin.motime.com ..........seriously i 1 2 know e reason.....i 1 2 know if i'm really tt odd....
Monday, March 14, 2005
i left my heart......
only 1 sentence 2 describe my last weekend.....
i left my heart at pulau aur & wif e kids fr SP.........
i left my heart at pulau aur & wif e kids fr SP.........
Dear Friends of Singapore Children's Society
To many, a mobile phone strap is lauded for its many utility functions; ease of locating your ringing phone in that ever cluttered bag, and of course, perks up your phone! On 18 March 2005, an extraordinary, cause-worthy meaning will be added to the existence of mobile phone straps: to bring hope, add colours to little lives, and help many disadvantaged children make a connection for an better future through our Street Sale 2005 fundraising project.
An inaugural fundraising project by Singapore Children’s Society, Street Sale 2005 aims to raise S$150,000 for our children through the island-wide public sale of mobile phone straps bearing the Children’s Society’s Logo. A total of 80,000 attractive phone straps available in four vibrant colours will be sold at a minimum S$4 each on the streets on 18 March 2005.
We invite you to share your love, hope and dreams with the 12,000 needy children, youths and families under our care by adopting our hand phone straps in blue, pink, black and white!
You can place your orders by filling up the attached order form and fax it back to us. A minimum order of 4 pieces in one set at S$20 (including postage) is required for postal order. Local delivery is only applicable for 50 pieces and above. Please see the attached form for more information on how to order the "love connection"; i.e mobile phone straps.
Please help us to help our children by circulating this email to your friends, colleagues or relatives. Thank you!
Check out www.childrensociety.org.sg for more information.
To many, a mobile phone strap is lauded for its many utility functions; ease of locating your ringing phone in that ever cluttered bag, and of course, perks up your phone! On 18 March 2005, an extraordinary, cause-worthy meaning will be added to the existence of mobile phone straps: to bring hope, add colours to little lives, and help many disadvantaged children make a connection for an better future through our Street Sale 2005 fundraising project.
An inaugural fundraising project by Singapore Children’s Society, Street Sale 2005 aims to raise S$150,000 for our children through the island-wide public sale of mobile phone straps bearing the Children’s Society’s Logo. A total of 80,000 attractive phone straps available in four vibrant colours will be sold at a minimum S$4 each on the streets on 18 March 2005.
We invite you to share your love, hope and dreams with the 12,000 needy children, youths and families under our care by adopting our hand phone straps in blue, pink, black and white!
You can place your orders by filling up the attached order form and fax it back to us. A minimum order of 4 pieces in one set at S$20 (including postage) is required for postal order. Local delivery is only applicable for 50 pieces and above. Please see the attached form for more information on how to order the "love connection"; i.e mobile phone straps.
Please help us to help our children by circulating this email to your friends, colleagues or relatives. Thank you!
Check out www.childrensociety.org.sg for more information.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
another stupid publishing error.....watever i wrote not published......
i'm so sleepy oredi pls stop doing tis 2 me!!!!!!!!!
2day totally caught up wif fri's conference publicity......haven touched on e things 4 tmr's mtg....die......but i'm so tired now 2 continue plus i need 2 go tkd.....
he's cute.....he kept me entertained.....althought it was probably juz polite exchanges between us.....appreciated it though....i'm juz so easily satisfied.....
i'm so sleepy oredi pls stop doing tis 2 me!!!!!!!!!
2day totally caught up wif fri's conference publicity......haven touched on e things 4 tmr's mtg....die......but i'm so tired now 2 continue plus i need 2 go tkd.....
he's cute.....he kept me entertained.....althought it was probably juz polite exchanges between us.....appreciated it though....i'm juz so easily satisfied.....
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Today Monday • March 7, 2005
In a generation that has much, S'pore women still can't have it all
Teo Hwee Nakhweenak@newstoday.com.sg
They headed straight for the cot. One took a corner of the blanket and lifted it slightly. They looked. Then, without a word to the woman lying on the bed next to the cot, the two women left.
Gender check.
That was my welcome into this world.
I was my parents' third daughter, and my arrival — to some — was cause more for disappointment than celebration.
When Ma gave birth to my eldest sister, her in-laws sent over a pot of boiled pig's intestine. One whole intestine, uncut.
My grandmother chuckled.
"Your in-laws are hoping for a son the next time round," she told Ma. "That big chunk of an intestine is to 'change' your womb, so that it can produce a boy."
It didn't work. By the time I arrived, Ma was exhausted. Three daughters in four years.
As she cradled me, she cried. Not for her, but for me.
Today, Ma looks at me with pride.
Sometimes, with a tinge of envy, she comments on my seemingly full life, my promising career and doting husband, my material indulgences.
But every now and then, she reminds me gently: "Nak, you should start thinking about having a baby. And then you'll have it all."
Can I really have it all?
While a woman's status in society has made quite a leap since my mother's time, some things have changed precious little. Perhaps they will never change.
The truth is, while women have dramatically expanded their role in society over the last few decades, men have hardly progressed.
The default burden of domestic responsibilities still falls primarily on women. In Singapore, where a domestic helper is almost de rigueur for working couples with children, even the handling of matters related to the maid is mainly left to the female in the family. We won't even talk about who does the household chores for a couple without help.
While women have stepped with ease into what is traditionally seen as men's territory at the workplace, men have not taken on domestic obligations as naturally.
When I go out with girlfriends of mine who have become mothers, I have come to expect frantic phone calls from fathers asking for help: Jamie's refusing to eat, what shall I do? When am I supposed to give the next feed? How much of that medicine did Doc say to give?
Not surprisingly, these dinners often end abruptly, earlier than planned.
In reviewing child-friendly policies in March last year, the Government predictably disregarded calls to consider paternity leave. Being the ever-pragmatic government, they are well aware how much help men can render, compared to women. Minister Lim Hng Kiang, the chairman of the steering committee on population, told the House that if given too much paternity leave, men would probably stay home "doing nothing".
In other words, while women today are expected to be superwomen, men remain just that — men.
Having said that, no one can deny the exclusivity of a mother's role in a child's growing years. This firm belief is what has kept me from venturing into the next phase of my life.
Motherhood is more than dumping your child with the grandma or the maid, or at an infant care centre.
It has to be better than affording your child 45 minutes of the day before he sleeps — because you have meetings to attend and work to clear.
Singapore has only just woken up to the urgency of developing an infrastructure that can sufficiently support the working mother. Foremost on the list is a mindset change in employers so that a mother-friendly workplace can be the norm rather than the exception. Can that happen within this generation?
Norway, reputed for its family-friendly policies and high birth rate for a developed economy, took 50 years.
So. Reality check.
If you are expecting the men to shoulder more than they are traditionally conditioned to, get real.
If you're waiting for miracles to happen soon at the workplace, forget it.
Want to have a baby, and give your child that undivided devotion? The best option might be the most obvious one.
It takes courage to say this, because it is just not politically correct to want to give up one's career for full-time motherhood. Many of the women I know would not agree with my view that a mother should commit to her new role full-time, at least for the first crucial years.
Because the women's liberation movement started out with fighting for a woman's rights to work, gender equality has since always been seen as being synonymous with a woman's ability to work.
I know women who have chosen to stay home — but feel lousy about themselves.
At the same time, I look at friends who are working mothers and very often see a harassed woman who complains about the trials of being a working mother. Ironically, while thinking that we have at last been set free, women have let themselves get weighed down by the shackles of the right to have it all, and with the measurement of a woman's self-worth by her career. Should not true liberation be the ability to go after the one thing that we want — happiness?
Right now, I have accepted the shackles. I have chosen my career, at least until my biological clock protests and my maternal instincts cannot be ignored.
Am I better off than my mother?
She had too little. I have too much.
For her generation, life was ruled by simplicity. For mine, it is complicated by greed. Compared to the world that greeted me as a newborn girl, society has moved on.
Still, for whatever those credit card ads would like us to believe, the feminist-propagated notion that women can have it all is a myth — still, at least for my generation. And I wonder, when I cradle my newborn daughter in my arms, what will I be thinking?
This commentary appears in Her Story, a book of essays by women published by the Singapore Council of Women's Organisations to mark its 25th anniversary this year. If you would have a view to share on the issues raised, please write to us at news@newstoday.com.sg
In a generation that has much, S'pore women still can't have it all
Teo Hwee Nakhweenak@newstoday.com.sg
They headed straight for the cot. One took a corner of the blanket and lifted it slightly. They looked. Then, without a word to the woman lying on the bed next to the cot, the two women left.
Gender check.
That was my welcome into this world.
I was my parents' third daughter, and my arrival — to some — was cause more for disappointment than celebration.
When Ma gave birth to my eldest sister, her in-laws sent over a pot of boiled pig's intestine. One whole intestine, uncut.
My grandmother chuckled.
"Your in-laws are hoping for a son the next time round," she told Ma. "That big chunk of an intestine is to 'change' your womb, so that it can produce a boy."
It didn't work. By the time I arrived, Ma was exhausted. Three daughters in four years.
As she cradled me, she cried. Not for her, but for me.
Today, Ma looks at me with pride.
Sometimes, with a tinge of envy, she comments on my seemingly full life, my promising career and doting husband, my material indulgences.
But every now and then, she reminds me gently: "Nak, you should start thinking about having a baby. And then you'll have it all."
Can I really have it all?
While a woman's status in society has made quite a leap since my mother's time, some things have changed precious little. Perhaps they will never change.
The truth is, while women have dramatically expanded their role in society over the last few decades, men have hardly progressed.
The default burden of domestic responsibilities still falls primarily on women. In Singapore, where a domestic helper is almost de rigueur for working couples with children, even the handling of matters related to the maid is mainly left to the female in the family. We won't even talk about who does the household chores for a couple without help.
While women have stepped with ease into what is traditionally seen as men's territory at the workplace, men have not taken on domestic obligations as naturally.
When I go out with girlfriends of mine who have become mothers, I have come to expect frantic phone calls from fathers asking for help: Jamie's refusing to eat, what shall I do? When am I supposed to give the next feed? How much of that medicine did Doc say to give?
Not surprisingly, these dinners often end abruptly, earlier than planned.
In reviewing child-friendly policies in March last year, the Government predictably disregarded calls to consider paternity leave. Being the ever-pragmatic government, they are well aware how much help men can render, compared to women. Minister Lim Hng Kiang, the chairman of the steering committee on population, told the House that if given too much paternity leave, men would probably stay home "doing nothing".
In other words, while women today are expected to be superwomen, men remain just that — men.
Having said that, no one can deny the exclusivity of a mother's role in a child's growing years. This firm belief is what has kept me from venturing into the next phase of my life.
Motherhood is more than dumping your child with the grandma or the maid, or at an infant care centre.
It has to be better than affording your child 45 minutes of the day before he sleeps — because you have meetings to attend and work to clear.
Singapore has only just woken up to the urgency of developing an infrastructure that can sufficiently support the working mother. Foremost on the list is a mindset change in employers so that a mother-friendly workplace can be the norm rather than the exception. Can that happen within this generation?
Norway, reputed for its family-friendly policies and high birth rate for a developed economy, took 50 years.
So. Reality check.
If you are expecting the men to shoulder more than they are traditionally conditioned to, get real.
If you're waiting for miracles to happen soon at the workplace, forget it.
Want to have a baby, and give your child that undivided devotion? The best option might be the most obvious one.
It takes courage to say this, because it is just not politically correct to want to give up one's career for full-time motherhood. Many of the women I know would not agree with my view that a mother should commit to her new role full-time, at least for the first crucial years.
Because the women's liberation movement started out with fighting for a woman's rights to work, gender equality has since always been seen as being synonymous with a woman's ability to work.
I know women who have chosen to stay home — but feel lousy about themselves.
At the same time, I look at friends who are working mothers and very often see a harassed woman who complains about the trials of being a working mother. Ironically, while thinking that we have at last been set free, women have let themselves get weighed down by the shackles of the right to have it all, and with the measurement of a woman's self-worth by her career. Should not true liberation be the ability to go after the one thing that we want — happiness?
Right now, I have accepted the shackles. I have chosen my career, at least until my biological clock protests and my maternal instincts cannot be ignored.
Am I better off than my mother?
She had too little. I have too much.
For her generation, life was ruled by simplicity. For mine, it is complicated by greed. Compared to the world that greeted me as a newborn girl, society has moved on.
Still, for whatever those credit card ads would like us to believe, the feminist-propagated notion that women can have it all is a myth — still, at least for my generation. And I wonder, when I cradle my newborn daughter in my arms, what will I be thinking?
This commentary appears in Her Story, a book of essays by women published by the Singapore Council of Women's Organisations to mark its 25th anniversary this year. If you would have a view to share on the issues raised, please write to us at news@newstoday.com.sg
modern women????
i dunno if we r really modern women.....
but my sisters all disagree wif my mom's philosophy abt marriage.....r we e modern women????
i'm not sure.....but i'm glad tt i'm not e only person who felt tt my mom's philo is wrong.....
but my sisters all disagree wif my mom's philosophy abt marriage.....r we e modern women????
i'm not sure.....but i'm glad tt i'm not e only person who felt tt my mom's philo is wrong.....
chastity underwear....
was talking 2 my younger sisters abt my eldest sis' family problem.....
we had a conclusion......
let men wear chastity underwear.....
wif e wives having e key......tt way, men can't stray.....
but i doubt any men will 1 2 wear....wat wif their super inflated ego......
any men out there who's willing 2 do tt????
we had a conclusion......
let men wear chastity underwear.....
wif e wives having e key......tt way, men can't stray.....
but i doubt any men will 1 2 wear....wat wif their super inflated ego......
any men out there who's willing 2 do tt????
Monday, March 07, 2005
y....i can't ans tt....
y r they always quarrelling.....
r they still quarrelling......
i'm hungry......
i 1 2 go home......
i dun 1 2 go home.....
bong bong 1st???
no....
go home????
no.....
u 1 2 stay at ah ma house????
nod nod.....
tmr got school leh.....
come on let's go.....
do u 1 2 go home????
.......
.......
di di sleeping oredi?????
xiao di di not di di....
i tink so....
how u know.....
(i dun.....)
r they still quarrelling......
i'm hungry......
i 1 2 go home......
i dun 1 2 go home.....
bong bong 1st???
no....
go home????
no.....
u 1 2 stay at ah ma house????
nod nod.....
tmr got school leh.....
come on let's go.....
do u 1 2 go home????
.......
.......
di di sleeping oredi?????
xiao di di not di di....
i tink so....
how u know.....
(i dun.....)
20km at least....
i walked 4 >20km on sat.....till sun actually.....started at macritchie to bt timah......walked 4 ard 9km (exclude kampong trail???) then e hike thro' bt timah.....rested, had mee hoon bandung....then started to walk all e way bk 2 jurong west.....e approx distance fr bt timah 2 jurong west was 5km....
sam, xie xie u 4 joining us thro' e bt timah route.....thks 4 entertaining us....u must have felt silly walking wif 4 jie jie.....who didn't act their age.....i was oredi quite out o breath when u asked abt europe.....not tt i dun 1 2 share but i was "up breath cannot catch down breath".....hahhaa old liao la......& we really like gan lu.....i was busy trying 2 keep up & not fall down........ahhahaaa a bit nite-blind la....shld eat more carrots.......
walking walking wallking......sounds o e 15 pple chatting.....sound o nature.....i was concentrating on not falling....concentrating on sam's jokes (lame it may b smetimes....).....trying 2 pic him & ultra.....trying 2 b happy......trying 2 let time pass.....
i juz 1 e time 2 pass.......but i dun 1 e sun 2 raise juz yet......trying 2 hold on 2 e darkness....
my comment on torchic's blog.....
"i didn't 1 2 talk actually...i juz 1ed 2 waste away e time....2am....it was really early....i didn't 1 2 talk much....we were talking abt everything else except wat was bothering me...i was glad 4 it actually....was glad tt sam was there cos else i wld b crying....tt's y 1 jio bryan 4 movie actually...cos i know then i wldn't need 2 tell him my problems....& juz let time pass wif sme1 by my side.....i didn't 1 2 cry in front o u gals cos i dun 1 u gals 2 b sad...."
i know u gals wld tink it's alrite 4 me 2 cry......but i dun 1 2 cry......it's juz sad smehow...i juz felt sad....tt's all....it'll b ok soon......i dun 1 u gals 2 've 2 know all these sadness....cos i dunno how 2 verbalise it anyway.....i juz 1ed 2 walk & walk....walk.....it didn't matter tt my feet was not tt glad o e trip....i 1ed 2 walk smemore when i reach my park.....but i knew it was an irresponsible thing 2 do......i 1ed 2 walk 2 lakeside.....walk rd e canal.....walk bk again.....but it wasn't safe.....i 1ed 2 walk alone.....no....actually i 1ed sme1 2 walk by my side....any1 wld do actually....any1 wld do.....but again, it was really irresponsible o me if i asked......
i 1ed 2 sit there perhaps......i'm juz so afraid o gg bk smehow.....i'm juz so afraid o waking up......i juz 1 e time 2 stop.....stop at e summit.....i felt like crying then actually, when suddenly sam went ouch..."ant bite my ear...." hahhaaaa....his unintentional moments made tis trip memorable......thk u da shi xiong/shi fu/sam/william.......& 2 u gals......
e beautiful sky...e stars.....e chong ming sound.....e cool breeze.....e darkness....e tiredness.........
sam, xie xie u 4 joining us thro' e bt timah route.....thks 4 entertaining us....u must have felt silly walking wif 4 jie jie.....who didn't act their age.....i was oredi quite out o breath when u asked abt europe.....not tt i dun 1 2 share but i was "up breath cannot catch down breath".....hahhaa old liao la......& we really like gan lu.....i was busy trying 2 keep up & not fall down........ahhahaaa a bit nite-blind la....shld eat more carrots.......
walking walking wallking......sounds o e 15 pple chatting.....sound o nature.....i was concentrating on not falling....concentrating on sam's jokes (lame it may b smetimes....).....trying 2 pic him & ultra.....trying 2 b happy......trying 2 let time pass.....
i juz 1 e time 2 pass.......but i dun 1 e sun 2 raise juz yet......trying 2 hold on 2 e darkness....
my comment on torchic's blog.....
"i didn't 1 2 talk actually...i juz 1ed 2 waste away e time....2am....it was really early....i didn't 1 2 talk much....we were talking abt everything else except wat was bothering me...i was glad 4 it actually....was glad tt sam was there cos else i wld b crying....tt's y 1 jio bryan 4 movie actually...cos i know then i wldn't need 2 tell him my problems....& juz let time pass wif sme1 by my side.....i didn't 1 2 cry in front o u gals cos i dun 1 u gals 2 b sad...."
i know u gals wld tink it's alrite 4 me 2 cry......but i dun 1 2 cry......it's juz sad smehow...i juz felt sad....tt's all....it'll b ok soon......i dun 1 u gals 2 've 2 know all these sadness....cos i dunno how 2 verbalise it anyway.....i juz 1ed 2 walk & walk....walk.....it didn't matter tt my feet was not tt glad o e trip....i 1ed 2 walk smemore when i reach my park.....but i knew it was an irresponsible thing 2 do......i 1ed 2 walk 2 lakeside.....walk rd e canal.....walk bk again.....but it wasn't safe.....i 1ed 2 walk alone.....no....actually i 1ed sme1 2 walk by my side....any1 wld do actually....any1 wld do.....but again, it was really irresponsible o me if i asked......
i 1ed 2 sit there perhaps......i'm juz so afraid o gg bk smehow.....i'm juz so afraid o waking up......i juz 1 e time 2 stop.....stop at e summit.....i felt like crying then actually, when suddenly sam went ouch..."ant bite my ear...." hahhaaaa....his unintentional moments made tis trip memorable......thk u da shi xiong/shi fu/sam/william.......& 2 u gals......
e beautiful sky...e stars.....e chong ming sound.....e cool breeze.....e darkness....e tiredness.........
backstabber....
shit u.....
i didn't expect u 2 b so stupid....i shldn't 've assumed tt fools do not exist....i'm e greater fool now having caught e shit u shifted 2 me!!!! stupid....thk gdness i'm e white horse, 've sme magical power 2 shift e shit bk 2 u.....
S knows how u work tt's y she forwarded e email 2 me....else i wld never know tt u backstabbed me....shit u....S told me tt i shld try 2 accomodate how u work, tt every1 has their weakness & strength....shit.....no choice tt i'm working wif u on e pre-conf....i'll juz need 2 b prepared not 2 get e shit fr u ever again!!!!!! i promise i'll always remember how stupid u can get......i'll not assume u can b smart.....no use saying sorry when i seriously dun tink u meant it.....i dun tink ur vocab was tt bad tt ur email sounded tt way....& plus it didn't help tt u didn't cc e email 2 S 2 me when u r always e expert at cc every single email 2 every1....
shit u......
glad tt e shit is cleared fr me....but e smell will always linger.....i'm tt XQ......no choice.....i really 've no respect 4 u.....
i didn't expect u 2 b so stupid....i shldn't 've assumed tt fools do not exist....i'm e greater fool now having caught e shit u shifted 2 me!!!! stupid....thk gdness i'm e white horse, 've sme magical power 2 shift e shit bk 2 u.....
S knows how u work tt's y she forwarded e email 2 me....else i wld never know tt u backstabbed me....shit u....S told me tt i shld try 2 accomodate how u work, tt every1 has their weakness & strength....shit.....no choice tt i'm working wif u on e pre-conf....i'll juz need 2 b prepared not 2 get e shit fr u ever again!!!!!! i promise i'll always remember how stupid u can get......i'll not assume u can b smart.....no use saying sorry when i seriously dun tink u meant it.....i dun tink ur vocab was tt bad tt ur email sounded tt way....& plus it didn't help tt u didn't cc e email 2 S 2 me when u r always e expert at cc every single email 2 every1....
shit u......
glad tt e shit is cleared fr me....but e smell will always linger.....i'm tt XQ......no choice.....i really 've no respect 4 u.....
Thursday, March 03, 2005
i dunno.....
i really wonder.....
do i 1 2 ask?????
haizzzz.....
pls take care o urself....
u r e only 1 who can take care o urself.....
there's nothing any1 else can do 4 u unless u 1 2 help urself.....
smetimes i wonder if pple tink i'm 2 strong???? i 1 pple 2 take care o me 2......but they always seem 2 tink tt i can take care o myself very well.....i know i can so i tink every1 else can do it 2.....
pls pls pls take acre o urself......if u really need a pull, u know i'll try my best 2 help u.....i can't promise tt i can do it well, but i can promise tt i'll try my best.......
i really wonder.....
do i 1 2 ask?????
haizzzz.....
pls take care o urself....
u r e only 1 who can take care o urself.....
there's nothing any1 else can do 4 u unless u 1 2 help urself.....
smetimes i wonder if pple tink i'm 2 strong???? i 1 pple 2 take care o me 2......but they always seem 2 tink tt i can take care o myself very well.....i know i can so i tink every1 else can do it 2.....
pls pls pls take acre o urself......if u really need a pull, u know i'll try my best 2 help u.....i can't promise tt i can do it well, but i can promise tt i'll try my best.......
yahoo schoolfriends......
interesting...pls do try...
tis yahoo schoolfriend thing quite fun....get 2 c pple fr ur school who have also signed in.....mayb can find ur chu lian qing ren here????
my colics were asking me if i wld drop email 2 my crush if i found him on schoolfriends....i wld definitely...i wldn't hesitate.....nothing wrong wif dropping him an email....
try it....
http://yahoo.schoolfriends.com.sg/
tis yahoo schoolfriend thing quite fun....get 2 c pple fr ur school who have also signed in.....mayb can find ur chu lian qing ren here????
my colics were asking me if i wld drop email 2 my crush if i found him on schoolfriends....i wld definitely...i wldn't hesitate.....nothing wrong wif dropping him an email....
try it....
http://yahoo.schoolfriends.com.sg/
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
vicious cycle....
i tend 2 drink 2 much coffee when i get exasperated...then i get all edgy & can't tink properly...then i drink more coffee.....i get even more on edge....then i can't sleep....then i get headache.....then i can't concentrate...then i drink more coffee.....goes on & on & on.....vicious cycle....i must break it!!!!!
Mar 6th, Sagittarius
Quickie:Things aren't going quite as planned. Sometimes all you can do is go with the flow.
Overview:It's time to pull back, to let others know that you're not a soft touch - at least, not as soft as they thought. In the meantime, standing your ground and actually saying no is a good place to start.
Quickie:Things aren't going quite as planned. Sometimes all you can do is go with the flow.
Overview:It's time to pull back, to let others know that you're not a soft touch - at least, not as soft as they thought. In the meantime, standing your ground and actually saying no is a good place to start.
Mar 5th, Sagittarius
Quickie:Suddenly, the well has dried. Better put off that purchase until the next paycheck.
Overview:Go ahead, get out there and do some serious shopping. You've earned the right, after being frugal for all this time - a virtue that you're not often able to add to your list of credits.
Quickie:Suddenly, the well has dried. Better put off that purchase until the next paycheck.
Overview:Go ahead, get out there and do some serious shopping. You've earned the right, after being frugal for all this time - a virtue that you're not often able to add to your list of credits.
Mar 4th, Sagittarius
Quickie:Suddenly, your ship has lost its anchor. Wait and see where the currents take you.
Overview:Is it love? It sure will feel like it. You're set up for a sudden infatuation -- and you'll feel it within seconds. This doesn't mean it's not legit, but waiting a few days to book that Vegas chapel certainly couldn't hurt.
Quickie:Suddenly, your ship has lost its anchor. Wait and see where the currents take you.
Overview:Is it love? It sure will feel like it. You're set up for a sudden infatuation -- and you'll feel it within seconds. This doesn't mean it's not legit, but waiting a few days to book that Vegas chapel certainly couldn't hurt.
Mar 3rd, Sagittarius
Quickie:A goal you've sought is close enough to touch. But only patience will make it yours.
Overview:Just when you thought you had a handle on the spending thing, here comes another burst of extravagance. Should you hire a bodyguard for your hard-earned cash? Maybe not, since that's quite expensive, but you should definitely think about next month's bills.
Quickie:A goal you've sought is close enough to touch. But only patience will make it yours.
Overview:Just when you thought you had a handle on the spending thing, here comes another burst of extravagance. Should you hire a bodyguard for your hard-earned cash? Maybe not, since that's quite expensive, but you should definitely think about next month's bills.
Mar 2nd, Sagittarius
Quickie:You aren't one to take 'no' for an answer. But today you might have to do just that.
Overview:You're still dealing with that certain someone who's been trying to bend you to their wishes. Needless to say, you don't much care for bending. So when yet another challenge comes along, don't you dare buckle. Not one iota.
Quickie:You aren't one to take 'no' for an answer. But today you might have to do just that.
Overview:You're still dealing with that certain someone who's been trying to bend you to their wishes. Needless to say, you don't much care for bending. So when yet another challenge comes along, don't you dare buckle. Not one iota.
Mar 1st, Sagittarius
Quickie:Pay attention to the lessons of time. Let the past be your guide to the future.
Overview:Ever get the feeling that you're being worked by an expert? Well, if you haven't, you will soon -- and the expert in question may be a family member. Feel free to forget that and put your foot down.
Daily Singles:If you're feeling moody, devote a little energy toward discovering what's at the heart of it. Some quiet contemplation can help you figure out the bigger picture. Let your mind wander and see where it goes.
Quickie:Pay attention to the lessons of time. Let the past be your guide to the future.
Overview:Ever get the feeling that you're being worked by an expert? Well, if you haven't, you will soon -- and the expert in question may be a family member. Feel free to forget that and put your foot down.
Daily Singles:If you're feeling moody, devote a little energy toward discovering what's at the heart of it. Some quiet contemplation can help you figure out the bigger picture. Let your mind wander and see where it goes.
i now know y.....
now i know y pple qn a woman's decision when she decides 2 quit her job 2 bec a full-time mom.....when a woman works, she still has capability 2 earn a living w/o having 2 stick out her hand 2 get $$$ fr her husband....& becos e society is stigmatised agst woman who re-join e work force after a few yrs in e full-term arena o motherhood.....
i used 2 tink tt being a full-time mom is a noble thing, yes it is really noble......but........i can understd y pple qn when u 1 2 b full-time mom, cos who knows wat 'll happen, wat if ur husband no longer provides????
i know it's bad 2 tink abt e dissolution o a marriage b4 it happens.....but we do need 2 do sme planning.......b4 things happen...it shldn't b seen as a stigma......i tink a pre-nuptial agreement shld b signed.....everything shld b spelt out clearly......yes, it looks like getting married will bec a contract tis way, but it really serves a purpose when things do turn out bad.....things wld not b so ugly then.......but i guess it means tt pple will not try as hard 2 salvage but.......
i dunno.........
i used 2 tink tt being a full-time mom is a noble thing, yes it is really noble......but........i can understd y pple qn when u 1 2 b full-time mom, cos who knows wat 'll happen, wat if ur husband no longer provides????
i know it's bad 2 tink abt e dissolution o a marriage b4 it happens.....but we do need 2 do sme planning.......b4 things happen...it shldn't b seen as a stigma......i tink a pre-nuptial agreement shld b signed.....everything shld b spelt out clearly......yes, it looks like getting married will bec a contract tis way, but it really serves a purpose when things do turn out bad.....things wld not b so ugly then.......but i guess it means tt pple will not try as hard 2 salvage but.......
i dunno.........
ST Feb 27, 2005
Marry him, Fann
No longer a spring chicken at 34, is it 'time' Fann Wong marries Christopher Lee? Or does such an attitude demean women?
By Sumiko Tan
YOU have noticed that I haven't been dwelling on the topics of love, marriage and relationships
of late, it's deliberate.
When I started writing this Sunday column in 1994, hardly a few months went by when I didn't lament my singlehood. Musing on past, present and future romances was a constant theme.
But it's one thing to be hung up on love when you're in your eligible 20s and still-available 30s, and another when you've hit 40.
When you're 40 and still unmarried, it's unbecoming to be seen as pining for romance. In fact, it's desperate and pathetic.
Like it or not, the search for love and marriage is regarded as a privilege of the young.
While 40 isn't exactly 'old', it certainly can't be considered young, and pity a single woman of that age bemoaning her marital status in public.
The reason I'm revisiting the issue is Fann Wong.
Last week, the Life! section of The Straits Times carried a report speculating on how she and her alleged boyfriend, fellow TV artiste Christopher Lee, are getting married at last.
Both are 34.
One of the actress' fans was quoted as saying: 'At her age, it's also time she got married.'
It's a sentiment I share.
In the larger scheme of things, 34 isn't old (especially if you are, like me, 41). But when it comes to marriage, it's getting there.
If she loves Christopher, Fann should marry him, I think. And quickly.
A colleague was indignant when she heard this.
'How can you say something like that?' she asked.
I suppose views like mine do reinforce stereotypes about women.
Stereotypes such as how women - even beautiful, talented and rich ones like Fann - have sell-by dates, and if they miss the boat, will be left on the shelf, pardon the mixed metaphors.
Stereotypes like how women lose their attractiveness when they grow older.
Stereotypes like how women desire to be attractive to men.
Stereotypes like how, without a romantic partner, a woman's life isn't complete.
I'm going to get flak for saying this, but, guess what? I believe there is truth to all those stereotypes.
Women do have sell-by dates.
Women are physically less attractive as they age.
Women do want to appeal to men.
And having a man in one's life is better than none.
WHEN the HBO sitcom Sex And The City was launched in 1998, I, like so many other single, independent women in cities around the world, was charmed.
How we loved the antics of Carrie and gang as they flitted from one romance to another, loving and leaving men and giving them as good as they got.
The characters spoke for us liberated women on the cusp of the 21st century. We could take on men on our terms.
But the magic for me wore thin after a few seasons.
The older the characters grew (and the actresses too, visibly), the more their lives appeared more strained than swinging.
It's acceptable when you're in your early 30s to work a room full of men, showing off your cleavage. But when you're approaching 40 and still doing this, something must be wrong in your life.
Besides, much as the characters were depicted as gutsy and independent, what they were all chasing in the end was the man of their dreams.
They wanted a relationship or marriage, to be with a man and be looked after by him.
The sitcom drew to a neat close last year with all the characters happily partnered.
In real life, of course, this doesn't always happen. Many swinging single women don't have a happily ever after.
My theory is that 35 is the make-or-break age of a woman in the marriage market.
Miss it - either through lack of choice or because you are too busy or fussy to commit - and it will take extraordinary luck or hard work for you to claw back into the market and get hitched.
This is because 35 is also, alas, that age when one's looks start heading south (just check out those forehead lines that seemingly appear overnight).
And no matter how men and women will say otherwise, in the game of courtship, youthful looks always fare better than craggy ones. It's just a fact of life.
BEING still-single at 40 is a strange experience.
On the one hand, there's that part where your heart can still skip a beat when you meet someone dishy. On the other, you realise that you must finally start behaving with at least some adult decorum. It's just so sad to still be squealing over a 'cute guy'.
Complicating the matter is how, most times, you actually find yourself just not that interested anymore.
Dating is boring and meaningless, and a stress-free, asexual lifestyle with your dog and TV actually sounds inviting, especially when you come home pooped from work.
Yet, when you see happily married couples and their children around you, you feel a twinge of What If.
So, if I were 34 again and in Fann's shoes, what would I do?
Marry before I hit 35 or it'll be 'too late'? Or luxuriate a while more in singlehood, shelf-life be damned?
All things considered, I'd choose marriage.
If you are so lucky as to ever discover The One, don't let him slip away.
Because, as someone who has been there, but hadn't done that, you wouldn't want to wake up at 40 and regret it.
Send your comments to stlife@sph.com.sg
Marry him, Fann
No longer a spring chicken at 34, is it 'time' Fann Wong marries Christopher Lee? Or does such an attitude demean women?
By Sumiko Tan
YOU have noticed that I haven't been dwelling on the topics of love, marriage and relationships
of late, it's deliberate.
When I started writing this Sunday column in 1994, hardly a few months went by when I didn't lament my singlehood. Musing on past, present and future romances was a constant theme.
But it's one thing to be hung up on love when you're in your eligible 20s and still-available 30s, and another when you've hit 40.
When you're 40 and still unmarried, it's unbecoming to be seen as pining for romance. In fact, it's desperate and pathetic.
Like it or not, the search for love and marriage is regarded as a privilege of the young.
While 40 isn't exactly 'old', it certainly can't be considered young, and pity a single woman of that age bemoaning her marital status in public.
The reason I'm revisiting the issue is Fann Wong.
Last week, the Life! section of The Straits Times carried a report speculating on how she and her alleged boyfriend, fellow TV artiste Christopher Lee, are getting married at last.
Both are 34.
One of the actress' fans was quoted as saying: 'At her age, it's also time she got married.'
It's a sentiment I share.
In the larger scheme of things, 34 isn't old (especially if you are, like me, 41). But when it comes to marriage, it's getting there.
If she loves Christopher, Fann should marry him, I think. And quickly.
A colleague was indignant when she heard this.
'How can you say something like that?' she asked.
I suppose views like mine do reinforce stereotypes about women.
Stereotypes such as how women - even beautiful, talented and rich ones like Fann - have sell-by dates, and if they miss the boat, will be left on the shelf, pardon the mixed metaphors.
Stereotypes like how women lose their attractiveness when they grow older.
Stereotypes like how women desire to be attractive to men.
Stereotypes like how, without a romantic partner, a woman's life isn't complete.
I'm going to get flak for saying this, but, guess what? I believe there is truth to all those stereotypes.
Women do have sell-by dates.
Women are physically less attractive as they age.
Women do want to appeal to men.
And having a man in one's life is better than none.
WHEN the HBO sitcom Sex And The City was launched in 1998, I, like so many other single, independent women in cities around the world, was charmed.
How we loved the antics of Carrie and gang as they flitted from one romance to another, loving and leaving men and giving them as good as they got.
The characters spoke for us liberated women on the cusp of the 21st century. We could take on men on our terms.
But the magic for me wore thin after a few seasons.
The older the characters grew (and the actresses too, visibly), the more their lives appeared more strained than swinging.
It's acceptable when you're in your early 30s to work a room full of men, showing off your cleavage. But when you're approaching 40 and still doing this, something must be wrong in your life.
Besides, much as the characters were depicted as gutsy and independent, what they were all chasing in the end was the man of their dreams.
They wanted a relationship or marriage, to be with a man and be looked after by him.
The sitcom drew to a neat close last year with all the characters happily partnered.
In real life, of course, this doesn't always happen. Many swinging single women don't have a happily ever after.
My theory is that 35 is the make-or-break age of a woman in the marriage market.
Miss it - either through lack of choice or because you are too busy or fussy to commit - and it will take extraordinary luck or hard work for you to claw back into the market and get hitched.
This is because 35 is also, alas, that age when one's looks start heading south (just check out those forehead lines that seemingly appear overnight).
And no matter how men and women will say otherwise, in the game of courtship, youthful looks always fare better than craggy ones. It's just a fact of life.
BEING still-single at 40 is a strange experience.
On the one hand, there's that part where your heart can still skip a beat when you meet someone dishy. On the other, you realise that you must finally start behaving with at least some adult decorum. It's just so sad to still be squealing over a 'cute guy'.
Complicating the matter is how, most times, you actually find yourself just not that interested anymore.
Dating is boring and meaningless, and a stress-free, asexual lifestyle with your dog and TV actually sounds inviting, especially when you come home pooped from work.
Yet, when you see happily married couples and their children around you, you feel a twinge of What If.
So, if I were 34 again and in Fann's shoes, what would I do?
Marry before I hit 35 or it'll be 'too late'? Or luxuriate a while more in singlehood, shelf-life be damned?
All things considered, I'd choose marriage.
If you are so lucky as to ever discover The One, don't let him slip away.
Because, as someone who has been there, but hadn't done that, you wouldn't want to wake up at 40 and regret it.
Send your comments to stlife@sph.com.sg
Monday, February 28, 2005
spinning.....
stayed up 4 e nite again.....getting old.....cannot take e strain o it.....my head's sort o spinning now....can't really concentrate on wat i'm supposed 2 b doing.....headache.....cough came bk again....e slightest flu also.....y.......
i'm feeling all sad again.....i dunno wat 2 do......i dun 1 2 do anything actually.....i dun 1......i hate it....feel like crying......hormonal changes i guess.......shit......
my boss asked me y i lacked confidence.....i told her i set 2 high a goal 4 myself all e time.....she said e journey is more impt than e end.....o cos i know.....i try 2 appreciate e process.....
i took time 2 tink.....i didn't get much reflection....or i dunno wat 2 tink actually i dunno wat i shld know....i dunno anything anymore.......things dun seem as bad as i tink.....
e feeling o sad juz envelopes me.....pls go away.....dust it away.....dun ever come near me.....i dun 1 u.....
i 1 2 do so much more....but i'm only tinking, never doing......can i ever have e courage or strength......i 1 so much more.....
pls stop asking y......stop asking e qn......stop tormenting urself.......stop it.....when can e brain speak 2 e brain?????when can we talk 2 ourselves......how do i make myself understd myself????when u dunno wat u r tinking abt..........
spinning spinning spinning......stop pls.....stop.............
can u pls talk 2 me????
i'm feeling all sad again.....i dunno wat 2 do......i dun 1 2 do anything actually.....i dun 1......i hate it....feel like crying......hormonal changes i guess.......shit......
my boss asked me y i lacked confidence.....i told her i set 2 high a goal 4 myself all e time.....she said e journey is more impt than e end.....o cos i know.....i try 2 appreciate e process.....
i took time 2 tink.....i didn't get much reflection....or i dunno wat 2 tink actually i dunno wat i shld know....i dunno anything anymore.......things dun seem as bad as i tink.....
e feeling o sad juz envelopes me.....pls go away.....dust it away.....dun ever come near me.....i dun 1 u.....
i 1 2 do so much more....but i'm only tinking, never doing......can i ever have e courage or strength......i 1 so much more.....
pls stop asking y......stop asking e qn......stop tormenting urself.......stop it.....when can e brain speak 2 e brain?????when can we talk 2 ourselves......how do i make myself understd myself????when u dunno wat u r tinking abt..........
spinning spinning spinning......stop pls.....stop.............
can u pls talk 2 me????
Saturday, February 26, 2005
waiting....
at home....waiting 4 my sis......i dunno wat happened.....i dun 1 2 take sides.....they never said anything until last thu.....
mayb i never really bothered abt knowing anything.....i was kind o disturbed when i asked my nephew if he heard them quarreling b4.....apparently they have.....many times i wld say.....he was innocently saying he was playing.....jen said tt a child b4 5 is not suitable 4 couseling cos e behavior they display is a demonstration o e parents' behaviors.....my nephew is a real terror at home....i'm really at my wits' end when i deal wif him....he's such a mischief.......
i dunno wat 2 say....i dunno how 2 do things.....my mom spoke 2 my sis last nite.....i had 1ed 2 talked 2 her ytd, but she was so calm tt i didn't know how 2 approach e matter.....my mom brought up e issue.....i dunno wat 2 say.....i juz felt like crying.....she was crying.....my mom did say some really strong pts but it was probably 2 edged.....i didn't know how 2 intervene......i tot my mom was wrong in sme....i didn't know wat 2 say.....conflicts inside......
my bro-in-law called & told me a lot o things....i dunno if they r e truth or not......it let me c things in a much more different light......i hope my sis was really ok......but seem like not e case.....i've convinced him 2 go 4 counseling.....i've 2 talked 2 my sis 2 ask her 2 go 4 counseling 2....
my colic called....gave me sme advise......tt i shld let them know tt e ultimate issue shld b 4 both o them 2 sort out.....i shldn't b burden wif it.....i know....i shldn't b siding any1 but must make sure tt when i talk 2 my sis, 've 2 know tt i care & tt i'm taking her side.....i know.....
i 1 2 take my niece 2 class.....i 1 2 have a chance 2 talk 2 her.....i tink i can find out more things fr her...(btw, she's far 2 young 2 appreciate ur play......break a leg.....)....
i dunno if he strayed or not.....he said there was no physical thing gg on.....
man's biology is built such tt they wld try 2 propagate themselves....tt's y they can never stick 2 1 mate....plus man r living longer than they used 2 so sticking 2 1 mate is all e more impossible.....my mom said tt as a wife u shld open 1 eye close 1 eye.....juz know it in ur heart & dun bother abt so much things......i doubt i can do tt.....i dun tink woman shld do tt......
i've no idea wat 2 say......how.......ok juz tell her tt i told him not 2 come bk......tell her tt i 1 her 2 go 4 couseling.....tell her tt things r not as bad as it seem.....tt i tink it's best tt things b trashed out.....tt i tink they wld start arguing if they do it thmeselves....tt i tink professional help wld b best.....tt she shld not do anything now.....juz let me arrange e appt.....i'll bring them down 4 e counseling......i hope i can do it......ask her not 2 keep things 2 herself......tell her tt no matter wat we r behind her.....tell her tt she dun have 2 face e thing alone......tell her 2 tell us anything.....
mayb i never really bothered abt knowing anything.....i was kind o disturbed when i asked my nephew if he heard them quarreling b4.....apparently they have.....many times i wld say.....he was innocently saying he was playing.....jen said tt a child b4 5 is not suitable 4 couseling cos e behavior they display is a demonstration o e parents' behaviors.....my nephew is a real terror at home....i'm really at my wits' end when i deal wif him....he's such a mischief.......
i dunno wat 2 say....i dunno how 2 do things.....my mom spoke 2 my sis last nite.....i had 1ed 2 talked 2 her ytd, but she was so calm tt i didn't know how 2 approach e matter.....my mom brought up e issue.....i dunno wat 2 say.....i juz felt like crying.....she was crying.....my mom did say some really strong pts but it was probably 2 edged.....i didn't know how 2 intervene......i tot my mom was wrong in sme....i didn't know wat 2 say.....conflicts inside......
my bro-in-law called & told me a lot o things....i dunno if they r e truth or not......it let me c things in a much more different light......i hope my sis was really ok......but seem like not e case.....i've convinced him 2 go 4 counseling.....i've 2 talked 2 my sis 2 ask her 2 go 4 counseling 2....
my colic called....gave me sme advise......tt i shld let them know tt e ultimate issue shld b 4 both o them 2 sort out.....i shldn't b burden wif it.....i know....i shldn't b siding any1 but must make sure tt when i talk 2 my sis, 've 2 know tt i care & tt i'm taking her side.....i know.....
i 1 2 take my niece 2 class.....i 1 2 have a chance 2 talk 2 her.....i tink i can find out more things fr her...(btw, she's far 2 young 2 appreciate ur play......break a leg.....)....
i dunno if he strayed or not.....he said there was no physical thing gg on.....
man's biology is built such tt they wld try 2 propagate themselves....tt's y they can never stick 2 1 mate....plus man r living longer than they used 2 so sticking 2 1 mate is all e more impossible.....my mom said tt as a wife u shld open 1 eye close 1 eye.....juz know it in ur heart & dun bother abt so much things......i doubt i can do tt.....i dun tink woman shld do tt......
i've no idea wat 2 say......how.......ok juz tell her tt i told him not 2 come bk......tell her tt i 1 her 2 go 4 couseling.....tell her tt things r not as bad as it seem.....tt i tink it's best tt things b trashed out.....tt i tink they wld start arguing if they do it thmeselves....tt i tink professional help wld b best.....tt she shld not do anything now.....juz let me arrange e appt.....i'll bring them down 4 e counseling......i hope i can do it......ask her not 2 keep things 2 herself......tell her tt no matter wat we r behind her.....tell her tt she dun have 2 face e thing alone......tell her 2 tell us anything.....
Friday, February 25, 2005
tired.....
i'm tired.....sorry ultra, can't go 4 e open water......i dun even have any idea how 2 solve e problem.....
i wasn't prepared at all ytd....but i tink i did e rite thing.....i wasn't trained at all in counseling.....but i took control o e situation.....now i'm caught in e middle....how shld i proceed....i've no idea.......
haizzzz.....i tink tmr i'll need 2 sit down wif my niece 2 c how she is......
children r e most innocent.....
pls pls pls let everything b ok.......
i wasn't prepared at all ytd....but i tink i did e rite thing.....i wasn't trained at all in counseling.....but i took control o e situation.....now i'm caught in e middle....how shld i proceed....i've no idea.......
haizzzz.....i tink tmr i'll need 2 sit down wif my niece 2 c how she is......
children r e most innocent.....
pls pls pls let everything b ok.......
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
irrational fears....
it creeps up everytime.....i tink abt e worst scenerios.....making myself scared shitless....i try 2 battle them....most o e time i win....i wld finish e task....but e next time i'm confronted wif e same situation, i get bk 2 tinking abt e worst again....i've conquered it e 1st time but i always get scared when i'm faced wif e same situation.....
i tink smehow e fear gets lodged in e sub-conscious & it never ever goes away....or in short, i'm juz chicken....
cycling....it's not tt scary....i completed e pegarang trip...but i've limited confidence on my cycling skills...
swimming....it's scary....i completed e biathlon....but i wld hesitate if i'm gg 4 another race.....
skydiving.....exhilarating...i went 4 it last feb....if it's tandem i dun mind doing it again...but if i'm doing it on my own, i doubt my ability....
travelling alone....it's not tt fun....i shld juz relax myself but i dunno when it's alrite 2 relax & when i left my guard down 2 much....was apprehensive but learnt alot.....i tink i wld b able 2 travel alone next time.....
diving....i'm scared....e 1st time i went 4 e pool session ytd....i totally freaked.....i 4got wat i was supposed 2 do.....everything seem alien smehow....i 4got 2 breathe....i dunno wat i'm doing....but i calmed myself after a while....but my heart's pumping faster as i tink abt e episode......2nite's e 2nd pool session, then e wkends i'm gg 4 e open-water......i'm scared really......but i 1 2 do it......
since i 1 2 do it i shldn't b scared.....but i m.....i 1 2 do a lot o things but i'm scared but i did them anywayzz.....irrational fears.....i'm juz so chicken.....
i tink smehow e fear gets lodged in e sub-conscious & it never ever goes away....or in short, i'm juz chicken....
cycling....it's not tt scary....i completed e pegarang trip...but i've limited confidence on my cycling skills...
swimming....it's scary....i completed e biathlon....but i wld hesitate if i'm gg 4 another race.....
skydiving.....exhilarating...i went 4 it last feb....if it's tandem i dun mind doing it again...but if i'm doing it on my own, i doubt my ability....
travelling alone....it's not tt fun....i shld juz relax myself but i dunno when it's alrite 2 relax & when i left my guard down 2 much....was apprehensive but learnt alot.....i tink i wld b able 2 travel alone next time.....
diving....i'm scared....e 1st time i went 4 e pool session ytd....i totally freaked.....i 4got wat i was supposed 2 do.....everything seem alien smehow....i 4got 2 breathe....i dunno wat i'm doing....but i calmed myself after a while....but my heart's pumping faster as i tink abt e episode......2nite's e 2nd pool session, then e wkends i'm gg 4 e open-water......i'm scared really......but i 1 2 do it......
since i 1 2 do it i shldn't b scared.....but i m.....i 1 2 do a lot o things but i'm scared but i did them anywayzz.....irrational fears.....i'm juz so chicken.....
Monday, February 21, 2005
i shld rest more....
i've been sick 4 e longest time....b4 e CNY until now.....it came & went a few times but never really recovered properly....i'm gg diving soon....& i'm really worried tt i can't dive cos o my sickness.....so after taking my cough medication, i'm drowsy & i tink i beta hint my mom's advice 2 rest... at least 4 2nite....tmr's e pool session...excited....'ve oredi taken half day off each 4 e pool sessions & e open water......dun 1 2 rush so much....excited....
i rested on sat e whole day, 4going a dragonboat trg, but i went 2 e nus biathlon on sun & got myself all burnt like a cooked lobster.....
ok i'll take a rest 2nite & hopefully i'll b alrite tmr....
pls i 1 2 go dive....
i rested on sat e whole day, 4going a dragonboat trg, but i went 2 e nus biathlon on sun & got myself all burnt like a cooked lobster.....
ok i'll take a rest 2nite & hopefully i'll b alrite tmr....
pls i 1 2 go dive....
ST Feb 20, 2005
The price of love
LOVE cost about $50 last Monday. On Valentine's Day, that was the minimum price of six stems of flowers. Apparently, though, they are not enough to earn the love of many working women these days. That is because Valentine's Day has become something of a competitive sport as women compare the prices and sizes of bouquets of roses, tulips or lilies. The sport benefits those in the business of romance, of course. Prices get doubled on Valentine's Day. So great is the pressure to be feted that, at one end of the romantic spectrum, single and unattached women end up sending themselves flowers. At the other end, when a woman calls a florist about the value of bouquets, it often means she has received flowers from different men. She obviously wants to know who has spent how much on her.
Now, there is no reason why the cost of loving should not keep pace with the cost of living. And why should roses be any different from the jewellery and creature comforts by which some women judge the worth of eligible men? In any case, it is difficult to see how Valentine's Day can escape the logic of commercialisation that has invaded festivals both religious and secular around the world. However, something rankles when a price war over love breaks out on a day meant to commemorate a person, probably a Roman priest, who was put to death in AD269 for marrying young couples. Marriage, it was thought then, made young men weak soldiers. Romance today, it seems, remains a battleground, with the price of roses on the market outweighing the intrinsic qualities of the hands presenting them. All is fair in love and war, but what would valiant Valentine have said to his memory being consigned to a market in love?
The price of love
LOVE cost about $50 last Monday. On Valentine's Day, that was the minimum price of six stems of flowers. Apparently, though, they are not enough to earn the love of many working women these days. That is because Valentine's Day has become something of a competitive sport as women compare the prices and sizes of bouquets of roses, tulips or lilies. The sport benefits those in the business of romance, of course. Prices get doubled on Valentine's Day. So great is the pressure to be feted that, at one end of the romantic spectrum, single and unattached women end up sending themselves flowers. At the other end, when a woman calls a florist about the value of bouquets, it often means she has received flowers from different men. She obviously wants to know who has spent how much on her.
Now, there is no reason why the cost of loving should not keep pace with the cost of living. And why should roses be any different from the jewellery and creature comforts by which some women judge the worth of eligible men? In any case, it is difficult to see how Valentine's Day can escape the logic of commercialisation that has invaded festivals both religious and secular around the world. However, something rankles when a price war over love breaks out on a day meant to commemorate a person, probably a Roman priest, who was put to death in AD269 for marrying young couples. Marriage, it was thought then, made young men weak soldiers. Romance today, it seems, remains a battleground, with the price of roses on the market outweighing the intrinsic qualities of the hands presenting them. All is fair in love and war, but what would valiant Valentine have said to his memory being consigned to a market in love?
ST Feb 19, 2005
Never Neverland
Boys will be boys, but Peter Pan should remain the stuff of fairy tales, not reality
By Ong Soh Chin
THE story of Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie's famous character, continues to fascinate many children today with its heady promise of eternal youth.
I suspect Barrie's story has an especial impact on young boys because the main girl in it, Wendy, is pretty much a grown-up with her practicality and the way she takes care of her younger brothers.
In contrast, Tinkerbell, the story's other female, is capricious and vindictive, and learns the grown-up lessons of true love and generosity the hard way.
As a young girl, the message I subconsciously imbibed from it was this: Girls are nurturing and responsible. Boys will always be boys.
Fast forward a couple of decades and I see this mentality still persists, not only within me but also around me. (What woman hasn't fallen for a man's boyish charms only to realise that she is doomed forever to playing nursemaid?)
My love affair with Peter Pan was rejuvenated recently when I caught the Oscar-nominated movie Finding Neverland.
Starring Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet, it tells the story of Barrie's real life friendship with a woman, Sylvia Llewelyn Davies, and her four sons, which eventually inspired him to write his famous fairy tale.
All in, it is a magnificent movie that reminds one of the forgotten child inside us and how, even in adversity, one can find solace in one's dreams and imagination.
Finding Neverland also jolted my memory of another excellent movie I had caught a few months earlier. This was a little-seen retelling of Peter Pan, starring a cast of relative unknowns and directed by P.J. Hogan, who did Muriel's Wedding.
It brought a lump to my throat the way Barrie's story never did when I read it or saw the Disney version on the big screen as a child.
Watching it now drove home the realisation that Peter Pan probably has more resonance for adults than for kids, despite it being generally regarded as a children's tale.
Kids are kids. They have no idea what adulthood will hold for them. And in that innocence, there is some measure of bliss.
For adults who have been there, done that and know they can never go back again, Peter Pan takes them back to a Lost (Boys) paradise that can never be regained.
Surveying Peter Pan's world as an adult also has deeper and more disturbing implications. While a child's universe is necessarily black and white, an adult's is far from being so.
The movie Finding Neverland has an important and uplifting message. But what it glosses over is also important.
Never mind the fact that Sylvia is a widow in the movie when, in real life, her husband Arthur was still alive when Barrie befriended the family.
More importantly, what the movie ignores is the fact that Barrie was a controversial character whose friendship with young boys was questioned.
The movie also sidesteps the eventual tragedy of most of Llewelyn Davies' sons.
Of the five boys - only four of whom were featured in the movie - one died in World War I, another drowned himself in an apparent gay suicide pact and Peter, the boy who inspired
Barrie's famous character, eventually killed himself.
He had apparently been depressed at being cut out of Barrie's will.
But real life aside, the Peter Pan story in itself is really all about darkness masquerading as light.
British theatre critic Lyn Gardner called it one of the most 'darkly disturbing' plays ever written. She said: 'It is the story of a strange, dysfunctional boy who refuses to grow up, who hangs around a nursery window and lures its children away.
'There is no evidence that J.M. Barrie ever acted on any of his impulses and most contemporary reports describe him as distinctly asexual, but his predilection for hanging around Kensington
Gardens making friends with small children would today set alarm bells ringing and send social workers running to take protective action.'
Perhaps it is no surprise then that one of Peter Pan's biggest fans is Michael Jackson.
The pop superstar, once on top of his game and loved by millions, is now mired, for the second time, in a legal battle to clear his name of child molestation accusations.
Even if he manages to do so successfully, will the real world still be able to embrace the idea of a man who refuses to grow up, sharing his Neverland ranch and having sleepovers with kids?
It is the stuff of fairy tales.
But sadly, as most adults know, fairy tales remain only in a child's dream world.
As seductive as the world of dreams and imagination may be, losing one's grip on reality can only lead to disaster and tragedy.
Send your comments to stlife@sph.com.sg
Never Neverland
Boys will be boys, but Peter Pan should remain the stuff of fairy tales, not reality
By Ong Soh Chin
THE story of Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie's famous character, continues to fascinate many children today with its heady promise of eternal youth.
I suspect Barrie's story has an especial impact on young boys because the main girl in it, Wendy, is pretty much a grown-up with her practicality and the way she takes care of her younger brothers.
In contrast, Tinkerbell, the story's other female, is capricious and vindictive, and learns the grown-up lessons of true love and generosity the hard way.
As a young girl, the message I subconsciously imbibed from it was this: Girls are nurturing and responsible. Boys will always be boys.
Fast forward a couple of decades and I see this mentality still persists, not only within me but also around me. (What woman hasn't fallen for a man's boyish charms only to realise that she is doomed forever to playing nursemaid?)
My love affair with Peter Pan was rejuvenated recently when I caught the Oscar-nominated movie Finding Neverland.
Starring Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet, it tells the story of Barrie's real life friendship with a woman, Sylvia Llewelyn Davies, and her four sons, which eventually inspired him to write his famous fairy tale.
All in, it is a magnificent movie that reminds one of the forgotten child inside us and how, even in adversity, one can find solace in one's dreams and imagination.
Finding Neverland also jolted my memory of another excellent movie I had caught a few months earlier. This was a little-seen retelling of Peter Pan, starring a cast of relative unknowns and directed by P.J. Hogan, who did Muriel's Wedding.
It brought a lump to my throat the way Barrie's story never did when I read it or saw the Disney version on the big screen as a child.
Watching it now drove home the realisation that Peter Pan probably has more resonance for adults than for kids, despite it being generally regarded as a children's tale.
Kids are kids. They have no idea what adulthood will hold for them. And in that innocence, there is some measure of bliss.
For adults who have been there, done that and know they can never go back again, Peter Pan takes them back to a Lost (Boys) paradise that can never be regained.
Surveying Peter Pan's world as an adult also has deeper and more disturbing implications. While a child's universe is necessarily black and white, an adult's is far from being so.
The movie Finding Neverland has an important and uplifting message. But what it glosses over is also important.
Never mind the fact that Sylvia is a widow in the movie when, in real life, her husband Arthur was still alive when Barrie befriended the family.
More importantly, what the movie ignores is the fact that Barrie was a controversial character whose friendship with young boys was questioned.
The movie also sidesteps the eventual tragedy of most of Llewelyn Davies' sons.
Of the five boys - only four of whom were featured in the movie - one died in World War I, another drowned himself in an apparent gay suicide pact and Peter, the boy who inspired
Barrie's famous character, eventually killed himself.
He had apparently been depressed at being cut out of Barrie's will.
But real life aside, the Peter Pan story in itself is really all about darkness masquerading as light.
British theatre critic Lyn Gardner called it one of the most 'darkly disturbing' plays ever written. She said: 'It is the story of a strange, dysfunctional boy who refuses to grow up, who hangs around a nursery window and lures its children away.
'There is no evidence that J.M. Barrie ever acted on any of his impulses and most contemporary reports describe him as distinctly asexual, but his predilection for hanging around Kensington
Gardens making friends with small children would today set alarm bells ringing and send social workers running to take protective action.'
Perhaps it is no surprise then that one of Peter Pan's biggest fans is Michael Jackson.
The pop superstar, once on top of his game and loved by millions, is now mired, for the second time, in a legal battle to clear his name of child molestation accusations.
Even if he manages to do so successfully, will the real world still be able to embrace the idea of a man who refuses to grow up, sharing his Neverland ranch and having sleepovers with kids?
It is the stuff of fairy tales.
But sadly, as most adults know, fairy tales remain only in a child's dream world.
As seductive as the world of dreams and imagination may be, losing one's grip on reality can only lead to disaster and tragedy.
Send your comments to stlife@sph.com.sg
ST Feb 19, 2005
Want longer life for wife?
Let her argue with you
LONDON - A WOMAN who keeps quiet during an argument with her husband is four times more likely to die from heart disease and other causes, according to a study published in the American Heart Association (AHA) journal.
Researchers believe women who argue with their husbands are warding off heart disease and other causes of death.
And women whose work had a disruptive effect on their home lives were twice as likely to develop heart disease.
The researchers studied 3,700 people in Framingham, Massachusetts, over a 10-year period, the BBC reported.
The joint Boston University and Wisconsin-based Eaker Epidemiology Enterprises team also found that marriage suited men as husbands only had half the chance of dying from heart disease as unmarried men.
Lead researcher Elaine Eaker said doctors should be looking for signs of marital stress to refer patients for counselling.
'We believe we have found characteristics of marriages that have an impact on people's health and longevity.
'While medical care providers are not specifically trained to intervene on psychosocial issues such as marital characteristics, they may be the most likely contact to observe or uncover these characteristics or emotions.'
A second study of 35,000 women by the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta looked at the link between cardiovascular disease and work.
It found unemployed women looking for work reported the worst physical health, with nearly a third having high blood pressure and 6 per cent suffering a heart attack, stroke or chest pain.
At least one British doctor has disputed the research published in the AHA, saying it should be treated with a 'pinch of salt'.
'We need to remind ourselves that we self-select into certain groups. People who choose to get married have different characteristics from those who do not. So they may be more or less at risk of developing health problems.
'We cannot be sure that the research is comparing 'like with like', ' said Sir Alexander Macara, of the National Heart Forum.
Want longer life for wife?
Let her argue with you
LONDON - A WOMAN who keeps quiet during an argument with her husband is four times more likely to die from heart disease and other causes, according to a study published in the American Heart Association (AHA) journal.
Researchers believe women who argue with their husbands are warding off heart disease and other causes of death.
And women whose work had a disruptive effect on their home lives were twice as likely to develop heart disease.
The researchers studied 3,700 people in Framingham, Massachusetts, over a 10-year period, the BBC reported.
The joint Boston University and Wisconsin-based Eaker Epidemiology Enterprises team also found that marriage suited men as husbands only had half the chance of dying from heart disease as unmarried men.
Lead researcher Elaine Eaker said doctors should be looking for signs of marital stress to refer patients for counselling.
'We believe we have found characteristics of marriages that have an impact on people's health and longevity.
'While medical care providers are not specifically trained to intervene on psychosocial issues such as marital characteristics, they may be the most likely contact to observe or uncover these characteristics or emotions.'
A second study of 35,000 women by the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta looked at the link between cardiovascular disease and work.
It found unemployed women looking for work reported the worst physical health, with nearly a third having high blood pressure and 6 per cent suffering a heart attack, stroke or chest pain.
At least one British doctor has disputed the research published in the AHA, saying it should be treated with a 'pinch of salt'.
'We need to remind ourselves that we self-select into certain groups. People who choose to get married have different characteristics from those who do not. So they may be more or less at risk of developing health problems.
'We cannot be sure that the research is comparing 'like with like', ' said Sir Alexander Macara, of the National Heart Forum.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
virtual GID....
ok e whole thing i blogged ytd went missing.....shoot.....
wat exactly did i write????
GID topic 2: bears & flowers.....
totally not necessary 4 me at least.....but once in a blue moon surprise wld b great....but exorbitant prices during V day is really not worthed it.....a nite out star-gazing, walking along e beach, or reading a nice book wld b more welcomed than a teddy....& i doubt i've any space in my bedroom 2 store these things cos i share wif e room my 3 other sis.....flowers....nice....but they can't keep....but pls dun buy plastic 1s...so i wld say (at least 4 me), women appreciate e tot rather than e $$$, although i shld state tt we do appreciate guys who can splurge on us ever so often....
GID topic 1: red/white bands.....
responsiblity shld b e word....wearing e band or not is not impt....e most impt is whether u r ready 2 take e responsibility....i agree wif jan tt in e heat o passion who wld remember tt band??? if u remember ur condom tt's more impt!!!!
2 abstain or not really depends on e self....if u 1 ur future significant other 2 b a virgin then u shld jolly well do e same....if u can't then u shldn't implement it on others...
yes, pls do educate pple on e proper use o condoms!!!! not talking abt sex does not mean tt it will not happen.....so i tink it's really time 2 teach more abt sex......knowing abt sex doesn't mean tt pple will do it anyway....2 b beta informed & educated wld go a long way definitely...
ok i beta stop.....haven been reading my articles.....
wat exactly did i write????
GID topic 2: bears & flowers.....
totally not necessary 4 me at least.....but once in a blue moon surprise wld b great....but exorbitant prices during V day is really not worthed it.....a nite out star-gazing, walking along e beach, or reading a nice book wld b more welcomed than a teddy....& i doubt i've any space in my bedroom 2 store these things cos i share wif e room my 3 other sis.....flowers....nice....but they can't keep....but pls dun buy plastic 1s...so i wld say (at least 4 me), women appreciate e tot rather than e $$$, although i shld state tt we do appreciate guys who can splurge on us ever so often....
GID topic 1: red/white bands.....
responsiblity shld b e word....wearing e band or not is not impt....e most impt is whether u r ready 2 take e responsibility....i agree wif jan tt in e heat o passion who wld remember tt band??? if u remember ur condom tt's more impt!!!!
2 abstain or not really depends on e self....if u 1 ur future significant other 2 b a virgin then u shld jolly well do e same....if u can't then u shldn't implement it on others...
yes, pls do educate pple on e proper use o condoms!!!! not talking abt sex does not mean tt it will not happen.....so i tink it's really time 2 teach more abt sex......knowing abt sex doesn't mean tt pple will do it anyway....2 b beta informed & educated wld go a long way definitely...
ok i beta stop.....haven been reading my articles.....
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
tonsils.......
Fr http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/teeth/tonsillitis.html
Way in the back of your throat are your tonsils - one on the right and one on the left. These two balls of tissue are part of your body's infection-fighting system to keep you from getting sick.
But what happens if these infection fighters get infected? Then you have tonsillitis (say: tahn-sul-lye-tus).
What Are Tonsils?
The tonsils' job is to catch germs before they cause infections in the throat, mouth, or sinuses.
Usually, tonsils do their job well. But sometimes bacteria or viruses get into the tonsils. When this happens, you have tonsillitis.
How Can I Tell if I Have Tonsillitis?
If you have tonsillitis, your throat usually hurts and it's hard to eat or drink or even swallow.
You may also have a fever. Here are some other signs that bacteria or a virus is infecting your tonsils:
redder-than-normal tonsils
a yellow or white coating on the tonsils
a funny-sounding voice
swollen glands in the neck
fever
bad breath
What Will the Doctor Do?
The doctor will ask you how you've been feeling and then look at your tonsils. He or she will probably use a wooden stick called a tongue depressor to help hold your tongue down to get a good look at what's going on in there.
The doctor might also look into your nose and ears, listen to your chest, and look for other signs of infection. Both bacteria or a virus can cause tonsillitis. It's important for your doctor to know if it's strep. Strep is short for streptococci (say: strep-toh-kah-kye) bacteria. If you have this kind of infection, you need special treatment.
To check for strep, the doctor will use a long cotton swab to swipe the back of your throat. This test doesn't hurt, but it might make you gag. It's called a throat culture. It usually takes a day or 2 to get the results, but some doctors will do a similar test called a rapid strep test. Within minutes, this test will tell your doctor if there are any strep bacteria in your throat.
How Is Tonsillitis Treated?
If the tonsillitis is caused by strep bacteria, the doctor will prescribe antibiotics, a type of medicine that kills bacteria. It's very important to take the antibiotics exactly as you're supposed to and finish the entire prescription to kill all the bacteria.
If the tonsillitis is caused by a virus, antibiotics won't work and your body will fight off the infection on its own. Sometimes kids get an operation to remove their tonsils, but only if their tonsils get infected a lot during the year or are so big they make it hard for the kid to breathe at night.
If you get tonsillitis, here are some tips that can help you feel better:
Drink plenty of fluids.
Eat smooth foods, including flavored gelatin, soups, icepops, and applesauce.
Avoid hard, crunchy, or spicy foods.
Use a cool-mist vaporizer or humidifier in the room where you spend the most time.
Rest.
Soon your tonsils will be back in action and ready to fight germs again!
must b all e CNY goodies tt i've been devouring lately, making my tonsils act up again.....bad headache ytd....now i juz feel numb in my brain.....i tink it's e medicine 4 e headache tt's making me so numb in e brain.....it's e same feeling when i had sleeping pills....u r awake but ur mind keep asking u 2 shut down.....i hate tis feeling......i'm feeling like i'm standing at a distance instead o inside my body.....
Way in the back of your throat are your tonsils - one on the right and one on the left. These two balls of tissue are part of your body's infection-fighting system to keep you from getting sick.
But what happens if these infection fighters get infected? Then you have tonsillitis (say: tahn-sul-lye-tus).
What Are Tonsils?
The tonsils' job is to catch germs before they cause infections in the throat, mouth, or sinuses.
Usually, tonsils do their job well. But sometimes bacteria or viruses get into the tonsils. When this happens, you have tonsillitis.
How Can I Tell if I Have Tonsillitis?
If you have tonsillitis, your throat usually hurts and it's hard to eat or drink or even swallow.
You may also have a fever. Here are some other signs that bacteria or a virus is infecting your tonsils:
redder-than-normal tonsils
a yellow or white coating on the tonsils
a funny-sounding voice
swollen glands in the neck
fever
bad breath
What Will the Doctor Do?
The doctor will ask you how you've been feeling and then look at your tonsils. He or she will probably use a wooden stick called a tongue depressor to help hold your tongue down to get a good look at what's going on in there.
The doctor might also look into your nose and ears, listen to your chest, and look for other signs of infection. Both bacteria or a virus can cause tonsillitis. It's important for your doctor to know if it's strep. Strep is short for streptococci (say: strep-toh-kah-kye) bacteria. If you have this kind of infection, you need special treatment.
To check for strep, the doctor will use a long cotton swab to swipe the back of your throat. This test doesn't hurt, but it might make you gag. It's called a throat culture. It usually takes a day or 2 to get the results, but some doctors will do a similar test called a rapid strep test. Within minutes, this test will tell your doctor if there are any strep bacteria in your throat.
How Is Tonsillitis Treated?
If the tonsillitis is caused by strep bacteria, the doctor will prescribe antibiotics, a type of medicine that kills bacteria. It's very important to take the antibiotics exactly as you're supposed to and finish the entire prescription to kill all the bacteria.
If the tonsillitis is caused by a virus, antibiotics won't work and your body will fight off the infection on its own. Sometimes kids get an operation to remove their tonsils, but only if their tonsils get infected a lot during the year or are so big they make it hard for the kid to breathe at night.
If you get tonsillitis, here are some tips that can help you feel better:
Drink plenty of fluids.
Eat smooth foods, including flavored gelatin, soups, icepops, and applesauce.
Avoid hard, crunchy, or spicy foods.
Use a cool-mist vaporizer or humidifier in the room where you spend the most time.
Rest.
Soon your tonsils will be back in action and ready to fight germs again!
must b all e CNY goodies tt i've been devouring lately, making my tonsils act up again.....bad headache ytd....now i juz feel numb in my brain.....i tink it's e medicine 4 e headache tt's making me so numb in e brain.....it's e same feeling when i had sleeping pills....u r awake but ur mind keep asking u 2 shut down.....i hate tis feeling......i'm feeling like i'm standing at a distance instead o inside my body.....
ST Feb 15, 2005
Lessons in love on US campuses
Marriage-minded students flock to courses on relationship skills
MUNCIE (INDIANA) - MR SCOTT Hall wants to spark a discussion, so he asks his students something bound to provoke a reaction: Do women want more out of marriage than men?
It is just the sort of conversation starter that is heard more often in university classrooms in the United States these days.
Affairs of the heart - love, relationships and marriage - have gone from being an obsession outside class to the reason for class.
The students in Mr Hall's course on marriage at Ball State University laugh and nod at his question. Most of them agree with research he cites stating that men are most interested in a partner who's attractive and good in bed.
But not Mr Mike Toscano, a 21-year-old: 'It's not 'Oh she looks cute and she cooked a pot pie'. I want to be held once in a while, too, y'all.'
'I'm glad he feels that way,' Ms Anitra Montgomery, a 22-year-old, responds to the class. 'But he is rare!'
Over the past 30 years, academics have been developing the study of 'close relationships', as they call it, forming the International Association for Relationship Research to share resources and data.
Such research is 'not just about what makes people happy but how relationships can affect other things - for instance, someone's health', says assistant professor Lisa Baker, who teaches psychology at Purchase College, part of the State University of New York.
In recent years, though, some professors have moved beyond theory, making the discussion more personal to students by teaching relationship skills they can use outside the classroom.
Some call it Relationships 101 - a concept that has proven wildly popular on campuses across the country.
Mr Toscano says he and his girlfriend Bethany Ringrose decided to take the class together this term to see if they want to take their relationship to the next level.
'It helps me understand my actions and his, too,' says Ms Ringrose, 20, a junior at the school in central Indiana. With divorce as common as it is in the US - about half of married couples divorce - experts say young couples are wise to do their marriage homework.
'The thinking is, the earlier people learn those skills, the better off they'll be,' says psychology professor Dennis Lowe at Pepperdine University in Malibu, California, who team-teaches a freshman seminar called Developing Healthy Relationships with his wife Emily Scott-Lowe.
Students in their classes practise listening - namely giving the other person a chance to speak his or her mind without interruption.
And if students are considering long-term, committed relationships, they are asked to consider questions such as whose job it would be to buy a car, discipline a child or cook dinner.
Professor Leslie Parrott of Seattle Pacific University says surveys at her university and others regularly show that relationships are a priority for students.
'They're often more focused on relationship quality than their careers,' says Prof Parrott, a marriage and family therapist who teaches relationships courses with her husband Les.
Lecture topics include Falling In Love Without Losing Your Mind and How To Break Up Without Falling Apart.
'Breaking up is a real rite of passage for people their age - they're just dying and they have no real guidance,' says Prof Parrott.
She says that some academics question whether classes like these belong in a college setting. But others say there is no reason love should be ignored.
'The longer I live, the more I realise that the hardest thing is just relationships,' says assistant professor Robert Brancatelli, who teaches religion at Santa Clara University in California. 'It's hard enough to figure out yourself, let alone another person.' -- ASSOCIATED PRESS
ST Feb 15, 2005
Personalities the key to good marriage
WASHINGTON - SHARED moral values are less important than compatible personalities as a recipe for a good marriage, according to a study just released.
Married couples often share the same attitudes about faith and other values, researchers at the University of Iowa found. But those with personalities similar to their spouses were the happiest.
'People may be attracted to those who have similar attitudes, values and beliefs and even marry them,' the researchers said on Sunday, and those qualities are easy to spot in a potential mate.
Attitudes towards subjects such as religion or politics 'are highly visible', they said.
But how married people behave was shown to have a greater effect on happiness.
'Being in a committed relationship entails regular interaction and requires extensive coordination in dealing with tasks, issues and problems of daily living,' the study found.
Differences in how to deal with everyday matters can lead to 'more friction and conflict', it said.
Personality-driven traits - like being open, easy-going or organised - are likely to play a bigger role in the marriage, the researchers found after studying 291 newly married couples.
The couples were married for an average of five months when the data was culled late in 2000 and had dated for an average of 3 1/2 years.
The couples were participants in the Iowa Marital Assessment Project, a long-term study being conducted by the university with funding from the National Institute of Mental Health under the National Institutes of Health.
Participants were asked to evaluate their own traits and were videotaped interacting with each other.
Partners who rated their marriages as highly satisfactory were found to have more common personality traits.
Similar attitudes among the couples, however, showed no clear impact on happiness, according to the study published in the American Psychological Association's Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. -- REUTERS
ST Feb 15, 2005
Find your 'cereal' mate and check out
SYDNEY - A SHOPPING mall launched a 'cereal dating' night at its supermarket yesterday, telling singles to come and 'get frisky at the fruit counter' for a Valentine's night out.
Management at the upmarket Westfield Bondi Junction shopping centre in Sydney's eastern suburbs suggested singles eager to meet a kindred soul cruise the supermarket aisles with message-sending breakfast cereal boxes perched on their carts.
'Choosing the correct cereal is crucial, with different cereals attracting different mates,' Westfield said.
For 'cereal virgins', it explained that boxes of Fruit Loops signal a 'quirky, outrageous type that lives life on the edge', while carrying All Bran or Mini Wheats attracts 'dependable, regular, conservative types'.
'For those that don't really care - a variety pack will show that the shopper is willing to chat to anyone.' -- AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE
Lessons in love on US campuses
Marriage-minded students flock to courses on relationship skills
MUNCIE (INDIANA) - MR SCOTT Hall wants to spark a discussion, so he asks his students something bound to provoke a reaction: Do women want more out of marriage than men?
It is just the sort of conversation starter that is heard more often in university classrooms in the United States these days.
Affairs of the heart - love, relationships and marriage - have gone from being an obsession outside class to the reason for class.
The students in Mr Hall's course on marriage at Ball State University laugh and nod at his question. Most of them agree with research he cites stating that men are most interested in a partner who's attractive and good in bed.
But not Mr Mike Toscano, a 21-year-old: 'It's not 'Oh she looks cute and she cooked a pot pie'. I want to be held once in a while, too, y'all.'
'I'm glad he feels that way,' Ms Anitra Montgomery, a 22-year-old, responds to the class. 'But he is rare!'
Over the past 30 years, academics have been developing the study of 'close relationships', as they call it, forming the International Association for Relationship Research to share resources and data.
Such research is 'not just about what makes people happy but how relationships can affect other things - for instance, someone's health', says assistant professor Lisa Baker, who teaches psychology at Purchase College, part of the State University of New York.
In recent years, though, some professors have moved beyond theory, making the discussion more personal to students by teaching relationship skills they can use outside the classroom.
Some call it Relationships 101 - a concept that has proven wildly popular on campuses across the country.
Mr Toscano says he and his girlfriend Bethany Ringrose decided to take the class together this term to see if they want to take their relationship to the next level.
'It helps me understand my actions and his, too,' says Ms Ringrose, 20, a junior at the school in central Indiana. With divorce as common as it is in the US - about half of married couples divorce - experts say young couples are wise to do their marriage homework.
'The thinking is, the earlier people learn those skills, the better off they'll be,' says psychology professor Dennis Lowe at Pepperdine University in Malibu, California, who team-teaches a freshman seminar called Developing Healthy Relationships with his wife Emily Scott-Lowe.
Students in their classes practise listening - namely giving the other person a chance to speak his or her mind without interruption.
And if students are considering long-term, committed relationships, they are asked to consider questions such as whose job it would be to buy a car, discipline a child or cook dinner.
Professor Leslie Parrott of Seattle Pacific University says surveys at her university and others regularly show that relationships are a priority for students.
'They're often more focused on relationship quality than their careers,' says Prof Parrott, a marriage and family therapist who teaches relationships courses with her husband Les.
Lecture topics include Falling In Love Without Losing Your Mind and How To Break Up Without Falling Apart.
'Breaking up is a real rite of passage for people their age - they're just dying and they have no real guidance,' says Prof Parrott.
She says that some academics question whether classes like these belong in a college setting. But others say there is no reason love should be ignored.
'The longer I live, the more I realise that the hardest thing is just relationships,' says assistant professor Robert Brancatelli, who teaches religion at Santa Clara University in California. 'It's hard enough to figure out yourself, let alone another person.' -- ASSOCIATED PRESS
ST Feb 15, 2005
Personalities the key to good marriage
WASHINGTON - SHARED moral values are less important than compatible personalities as a recipe for a good marriage, according to a study just released.
Married couples often share the same attitudes about faith and other values, researchers at the University of Iowa found. But those with personalities similar to their spouses were the happiest.
'People may be attracted to those who have similar attitudes, values and beliefs and even marry them,' the researchers said on Sunday, and those qualities are easy to spot in a potential mate.
Attitudes towards subjects such as religion or politics 'are highly visible', they said.
But how married people behave was shown to have a greater effect on happiness.
'Being in a committed relationship entails regular interaction and requires extensive coordination in dealing with tasks, issues and problems of daily living,' the study found.
Differences in how to deal with everyday matters can lead to 'more friction and conflict', it said.
Personality-driven traits - like being open, easy-going or organised - are likely to play a bigger role in the marriage, the researchers found after studying 291 newly married couples.
The couples were married for an average of five months when the data was culled late in 2000 and had dated for an average of 3 1/2 years.
The couples were participants in the Iowa Marital Assessment Project, a long-term study being conducted by the university with funding from the National Institute of Mental Health under the National Institutes of Health.
Participants were asked to evaluate their own traits and were videotaped interacting with each other.
Partners who rated their marriages as highly satisfactory were found to have more common personality traits.
Similar attitudes among the couples, however, showed no clear impact on happiness, according to the study published in the American Psychological Association's Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. -- REUTERS
ST Feb 15, 2005
Find your 'cereal' mate and check out
SYDNEY - A SHOPPING mall launched a 'cereal dating' night at its supermarket yesterday, telling singles to come and 'get frisky at the fruit counter' for a Valentine's night out.
Management at the upmarket Westfield Bondi Junction shopping centre in Sydney's eastern suburbs suggested singles eager to meet a kindred soul cruise the supermarket aisles with message-sending breakfast cereal boxes perched on their carts.
'Choosing the correct cereal is crucial, with different cereals attracting different mates,' Westfield said.
For 'cereal virgins', it explained that boxes of Fruit Loops signal a 'quirky, outrageous type that lives life on the edge', while carrying All Bran or Mini Wheats attracts 'dependable, regular, conservative types'.
'For those that don't really care - a variety pack will show that the shopper is willing to chat to anyone.' -- AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE
Monday, February 14, 2005
dreams....cranberries...repeat mode...
i listen 2 it on repeat mode last nite....wondering y i like tis song so much....
trying 2 psychoanalysis myself....
trying 2 tink abt when i 1st hear e song....
i juz dun remember....
in sec sch?????
dunno la....juz got hit wif so much emotion cos met a lot pple....making me tink 2 much.....
i listen 2 it on repeat mode last nite....wondering y i like tis song so much....
trying 2 psychoanalysis myself....
trying 2 tink abt when i 1st hear e song....
i juz dun remember....
in sec sch?????
dunno la....juz got hit wif so much emotion cos met a lot pple....making me tink 2 much.....
Today February 14, 2005
Affairs of the mind
Mohd Rosle Ahmad
IS there such a thing as intellectual infidelity?
As my wife and I look forward to our 10th anniversary this year, we thought about our contemporaries — couples who have gone their separate ways.
Four have called it quits while one managed to save and rebuild his marriage after indulging in what I would call intellectual infidelity.
We've heard about emotional infidelity, but intellectual infidelity? I checked the Internet for information but turned up nothing. What on earth is it?
A natural homebody, my friend's simple routine is "home-work-home". Male-bonding sessions are restricted to the hours from 1 to 2pm and he only lunches with his male colleagues. So I was shocked when he called one day to say that his wife wanted him to find another job. She felt that he was getting too close intellectually to a female colleague.
To cut a long story short, both he and the colleague are happily married. They worked on the same team but never went out for coffee together or even talked outside the office.
But the things they talked about often, beyond work-related matters, were politics, economics and religion.
This was one Muslim-Christian dialogue that was leading to a misunderstanding, albeit a marital one.
My friend, who thought nothing of their chats, would simply share details of them with his wife when he returned home.
The last straw came on Valentine's Day last year when the inter-faith exchange strayed into how affairs of the heart were being commercialised to death.
My friend's wife was livid upon hearing that her hubby had shared with the colleague in question their three cardinal "love bytes".
Since the day they were married, they had eternalised these principles of love in a list that was posted on the refrigerator:
1 To remain on the true path of love, let deeds of love guide you at every turn.
2 Without love the verb, love the feeling will wither and disappear.
3 The test of one's love comes in the absence of the loved one.
Declared the wife: "You are dangerously close to the emotional gateway: I think it's best you stop all unofficial discourse — or find another job."
But as fate would have it, his colleague was transferred to another branch.
While some of us will find his wife's reactions absurd, I guess if there is emotional infidelity, there can be an intellectual kind.
The fear is, of course, that either one could lead to the destructive, physical betrayal.
My friend says he now practices intellectual celibacy with all "insignificant others" at the office.
So while he fully engages them in all work-related matters, he reserves all current affairs for the missus.
Happy Valentine's Day.
The writer is a Today reader. If you would like to comment on this writer's views, please send an email to news@newstoday.com.sg
Affairs of the mind
Mohd Rosle Ahmad
IS there such a thing as intellectual infidelity?
As my wife and I look forward to our 10th anniversary this year, we thought about our contemporaries — couples who have gone their separate ways.
Four have called it quits while one managed to save and rebuild his marriage after indulging in what I would call intellectual infidelity.
We've heard about emotional infidelity, but intellectual infidelity? I checked the Internet for information but turned up nothing. What on earth is it?
A natural homebody, my friend's simple routine is "home-work-home". Male-bonding sessions are restricted to the hours from 1 to 2pm and he only lunches with his male colleagues. So I was shocked when he called one day to say that his wife wanted him to find another job. She felt that he was getting too close intellectually to a female colleague.
To cut a long story short, both he and the colleague are happily married. They worked on the same team but never went out for coffee together or even talked outside the office.
But the things they talked about often, beyond work-related matters, were politics, economics and religion.
This was one Muslim-Christian dialogue that was leading to a misunderstanding, albeit a marital one.
My friend, who thought nothing of their chats, would simply share details of them with his wife when he returned home.
The last straw came on Valentine's Day last year when the inter-faith exchange strayed into how affairs of the heart were being commercialised to death.
My friend's wife was livid upon hearing that her hubby had shared with the colleague in question their three cardinal "love bytes".
Since the day they were married, they had eternalised these principles of love in a list that was posted on the refrigerator:
1 To remain on the true path of love, let deeds of love guide you at every turn.
2 Without love the verb, love the feeling will wither and disappear.
3 The test of one's love comes in the absence of the loved one.
Declared the wife: "You are dangerously close to the emotional gateway: I think it's best you stop all unofficial discourse — or find another job."
But as fate would have it, his colleague was transferred to another branch.
While some of us will find his wife's reactions absurd, I guess if there is emotional infidelity, there can be an intellectual kind.
The fear is, of course, that either one could lead to the destructive, physical betrayal.
My friend says he now practices intellectual celibacy with all "insignificant others" at the office.
So while he fully engages them in all work-related matters, he reserves all current affairs for the missus.
Happy Valentine's Day.
The writer is a Today reader. If you would like to comment on this writer's views, please send an email to news@newstoday.com.sg
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