Wednesday, February 23, 2005

irrational fears....

it creeps up everytime.....i tink abt e worst scenerios.....making myself scared shitless....i try 2 battle them....most o e time i win....i wld finish e task....but e next time i'm confronted wif e same situation, i get bk 2 tinking abt e worst again....i've conquered it e 1st time but i always get scared when i'm faced wif e same situation.....

i tink smehow e fear gets lodged in e sub-conscious & it never ever goes away....or in short, i'm juz chicken....

cycling....it's not tt scary....i completed e pegarang trip...but i've limited confidence on my cycling skills...

swimming....it's scary....i completed e biathlon....but i wld hesitate if i'm gg 4 another race.....

skydiving.....exhilarating...i went 4 it last feb....if it's tandem i dun mind doing it again...but if i'm doing it on my own, i doubt my ability....

travelling alone....it's not tt fun....i shld juz relax myself but i dunno when it's alrite 2 relax & when i left my guard down 2 much....was apprehensive but learnt alot.....i tink i wld b able 2 travel alone next time.....

diving....i'm scared....e 1st time i went 4 e pool session ytd....i totally freaked.....i 4got wat i was supposed 2 do.....everything seem alien smehow....i 4got 2 breathe....i dunno wat i'm doing....but i calmed myself after a while....but my heart's pumping faster as i tink abt e episode......2nite's e 2nd pool session, then e wkends i'm gg 4 e open-water......i'm scared really......but i 1 2 do it......

since i 1 2 do it i shldn't b scared.....but i m.....i 1 2 do a lot o things but i'm scared but i did them anywayzz.....irrational fears.....i'm juz so chicken.....

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