Today December 13, 2004

We politely disagree

WHEN pigs fly — or should it be, when Singaporeans fly off their seats to offer them to pregnant women on the MRT — that's when we can say "gracious" and "Singaporean" in the same breath without gagging on the contradiction.

That, at least, seems to be the incredulous reaction of most readers to Swede Camilla Porsman's description of treatment she received from local train commuters ("Friendliness is everywhere in Singapore", Dec 6).

As PJ Lee, who is 36 weeks pregnant put it, the details of Ms Porsman's letter "almost made me choke on my breakfast".

Only two days earlier, she said, she had boarded the train with her six-year-old son in tow.

"I was standing near the corner seats with the sign that reads, 'Please offer this seat to those who need it'.

The folks in those seats were doing a great job of ignoring me and my son. Some of the actions of such people are so pretentious, I feel like laughing sometimes.

"In her experience, only "four times out of ten do people actually get up to offer me their seats. The people who have (including a group of Indian construction workers, once) are my heroes".

There were two exceptions to the cynical backlash from readers. Terry Yap witnessed several passengers standing up for a pregnant woman on a train.

Taiwanese Susan Hsu raved about the "loveliness, warmth and friendliness" of Singaporeans since she arrived a year ago.

"One day when it was pouring, I was waiting for a traffic light to change so I could cross the road. One woman saw me and offered to share her umbrella with me," she recounted.

"I have travelled on business to many Asian countries and this has never happened to me before.

"In stark contrast, Chilean Patricio Briceno — who gets the cold shoulder when he says "hello" to a neighbour or a fellow lift passenger — said: "I have never seen people as impolite and unfriendly as Singaporeans."

"My only guess as to the reason for Ms Porsman's experience is that she is probably a blonde, good-looking Caucasian lady."

Glenn M Jothy concurred. "Her daily experiences will certainly be far more pleasant than those of a Bangladeshi foreign worker or your common Indonesian maid.

"Or, for that matter, even the ordinary Singaporean living in the HDB heartland.

"So let's not fool ourselves into believing for even one moment that we have 'arrived' as a society when it comes to graciousness and kindness."

But if the majority of Singaporeans seem to fail to measure up in terms of small acts of everyday kindness, now and then, an opportunity comes along for those with heart to respond.

As seven people did last week after reading about Madam Zarina Harpal Singh's selfless mission for foreign workers in Singapore ("A hand for the helpless", Dec 6).

One woman said her ministry division was interested in the chance to do community work. A man volunteered a temporary shelter. Another woman offered $160 in shopping vouchers.

At times like this, one can almost believe Susan Hsu's affirmation of Singaporeans — that "they are born with a genuine heart."


i admit i'm 1 o those who dun give up their seats! i'm so tired & i really 1 2 sit down!!! in e morn tt's e only time i've 2 catch up on my sleep.....& when i get off work, tt's e only time i can give my body a little rest.... ok excuses.....my bottomline is tt if i feel tt person needs e seat more than me then i'll give it up, if i feel they dun, i'll only give up my seat if they asked me, period. if u really need a seat tt badly, e least u cld do is ask!!!!

giving up ur seat doesn't equate 2 being gracious.......i dunno wat i carry in my bags but they weigh at least a kg or 2.....i dun disagree tt pregnant women's load is much more than tt, but smetimes i juz dun bother......okk another excuse.....

anywayz, i feel tt smetimes many pple juz dun bother abt e little little things....it's juz 2 much work smehow......i'll try 2 b more gracious..... if i'm not tt tired!!!ok ok.......