Today December 22, 2004

FLIP SIDE OF ABUSE

Mei Tan

AS I write this letter, feelings of guilt, anger and pain start to flow in my heart. My story began just after Christmas last year. We employed a domestic helper to help around the house and take care for my two sons, aged three and a newborn. I would rate her as a capable worker and fast learner. I trusted her a lot.

But I ended up spending New Year in hospital with my then two-month-old boy who suffered from two skull fractures. After an hour of persistent questioning, my helper admitted she had dropped my baby, who hit his head against the side of the rocker.

The police started their investigations when the doctors found that the injuries were not consistent with what the helper had said and the Ministry of Community Development,Youth and Sports stepped in as this could be a case of child abuse.

We sent the helper back to the agency and cancelled her contract. We were told by the police to write to the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) to place her on a special pass while the investigations were carried out; she would be placed in remand under the agency's care.

We were also told by the maid agency that we had to bear the levy for as long as the helper was in Singapore. I found out later (in March) that I could write to MOM to explain the circumstances and ask to be exempted from paying the levy. We then had no further contact with the maid agency — until October, when I received a call from the agency demanding that I pay the $5,000 bond as the helper had gone missing since July and her special pass would expire on Nov 2. The agency also said the police had decided to prosecute her and would also charge her for being an illegal immigrant, as this was her second escape from the boarding house. The first time, she was found eating at a hawker centre.

Where did she get the money to pay for the food? Had she perhaps been allowed by the agency to work part-time illegally?

I was disgusted that the agency had not done its job in keeping an eye on her and that it had not bothered to check that I had earlier bought insurance for the bond.

I also have not heard from the police since June. Every attempt made to contact the officer in charge of the case was in vain. Other official bodies also could not shed light on the matter.

The authorities should have the courtesy to let me know the status of the case, so that I can close this traumatic chapter.

I thank God today, my boy is a happy and healthy 13-month-old. We always read about helpers being abused and how they get little help. What happens if the tables are turned? How often, if and when, do we hear of abuse to children, be it physical or sexual, by these helpers? Are there any statistics or surveys about such abuses?

I am all for organisations such as Aware and TWC2 which foreign domestic helpers can turn to for help.

But what about employers like me? Who do we turn to for help? I believe that when faced with such crises, many employers simply terminate the contracts and send the helpers home, for fear of the financial burden or long time needed to sort out the problem.

I am a good example. It has been a year and the case is still pending.

What happens, when it is through no fault of the employer (as in my case) that the helper goes missing? Is it fair for the employer to be responsible for the bond?

I also feel maid agencies have too much autonomy. As such, some conduct their businesses in an improper manner. Finally, I hope a group can be set up to act as a mediator for the employers/employees. And for parents with similar experiences, I wish you well and ask that you speak up. It helps.

Mei Tan is a 35-year-old homemaker who wrote this letter to Today. Have you a view? Tell us at news@newstoday.com.sg

My sis had a lot o trouble wif her maid as well.....she has since changed countless maids & wif e recent events o maids dumping babies off high-rise flats, i tink she's having 2nd tots o employing 1 but no choice cos she has 3 little 1s 2 take care o.......

i dun deny tt e maid has 2 work doubly hard in our h/h cos there r really tonnes o clothes 2 wash cos o my very big family......& i dun deny tt my bro-in-law is a "gd employer".......he demands 2 much fr e maid.......however e hassle & e financial burden levied on 1 is really a lot when u encounter problems wif maids.......tt's y a lot o pple juz choose 2 send e maid bk instead o pursuing matters further.......these maids i presume will come bk 2 s'pore 2 work again......& e next family has 2 go thro' all e nightmare again......

i really hope tt more can b done abt maid problems.....but now i'm not in e rite frame o mind 2 tink o a possible solution......i'll try 2 tink abt it during my scheduled vacation wif myself.....i'll reserve a slot 2 review all social issues then i can blog abt it........