Wise up man!!!! & women 2!!!!! get ur men 2 work!!!!

ST Dec 11, 2004

Men, get that broom out if you want to stay married
Couples more likely to be happier and stay together if they share chores: Study
By Vivi Zainol

A LOCAL study has found that more Singapore fathers are pitching in when it comes to looking after the children, even though they believe it is really the mother's job.

Said Associate Professor Paulin Straughan, from the National University of Singapore's sociology department, who began the study in March this year: 'This is perhaps the first empirical evidence we have that Singapore fathers have grown from the traditional breadwinner model to one which sees them as involved fathers.'

But because of their mindset about women's role, fathers rarely go beyond disciplining their children.

The study, commissioned by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports, also found that couples are more likely to be happier and stay together if they also share household chores besides the children's upbringing. In fact, relationships go from strength to strength with each added task a husband does.

The chances of a marriage continuing increases by 1.8 times for every added chore husbands take on, said Prof Straughan, as women are happier when their husbands do more at home, and the more their husbands do, the happier marriages are.

In the study of 1,026 married people and 827 divorcees in their mid-20s, partners in ongoing unions share about five chores, while those in relationships which have ended did about three.

The study also found that though men may help out, they do not want to be responsible for housework.

One example is civil servant Ethan Teo, 35, who admitted that his wife is 'not very happy' with the division of labour in their home.

'It's the wife's job to do the more 'feminine' chores like cooking, washing and putting the kids to sleep,' he claimed. 'I'll change the light bulb and do things that are more strenuous, like mopping the floor.

'Because of this sort of thinking, women take the lead in all but three of the 19 tasks involving either home care and supervision, child care or looking after an elderly person. The three are carrying out household repairs, washing the car and paying bills.

Women are also held responsible for an average of 8.8 domestic tasks compared with men's 2.7.

Prof Straughan said parents, families, friends, schools, the mass media and forms of popular culture are responsible for the gender-based attitudes to chores.

State policies also contribute, she added. For example, until recently, only mothers could take leave to tend to a sick child.

Deducting the foreign maid levy only from the wife's income also sends a strong message that the maid is taking over her responsibilities.

'Singapore women are really in a bind,' she said. 'They're expected to embrace multiple roles and responsibilities: to be a good wife, a loving mother who is expected to be on call 24/7, domestic manager, and to top it all... a committed employee. Meanwhile, their husbands continue to hold on to very traditional expectations.

'Many women seem yet to realise this. Said Madam Koh Lay Hong, 39, who has a three-month-old child and helps in her husband's business: 'I do what I can, and when I need help, I ask for it and my husband obliges. That makes me very happy.'