stop 11.28

let time stop at 1128, 28112004.......

spinning.....

stayed up 4 e nite again.....getting old.....cannot take e strain o it.....my head's sort o spinning now....can't really concentrate on wat i'm supposed 2 b doing.....headache.....cough came bk again....e slightest flu also.....y.......

i'm feeling all sad again.....i dunno wat 2 do......i dun 1 2 do anything actually.....i dun 1......i hate it....feel like crying......hormonal changes i guess.......shit......

my boss asked me y i lacked confidence.....i told her i set 2 high a goal 4 myself all e time.....she said e journey is more impt than e end.....o cos i know.....i try 2 appreciate e process.....

i took time 2 tink.....i didn't get much reflection....or i dunno wat 2 tink actually i dunno wat i shld know....i dunno anything anymore.......things dun seem as bad as i tink.....

e feeling o sad juz envelopes me.....pls go away.....dust it away.....dun ever come near me.....i dun 1 u.....

i 1 2 do so much more....but i'm only tinking, never doing......can i ever have e courage or strength......i 1 so much more.....

pls stop asking y......stop asking e qn......stop tormenting urself.......stop it.....when can e brain speak 2 e brain?????when can we talk 2 ourselves......how do i make myself understd myself????when u dunno wat u r tinking abt..........

spinning spinning spinning......stop pls.....stop.............

can u pls talk 2 me????

ourselves....

we can never live 4 ourselves.....

waiting....

at home....waiting 4 my sis......i dunno wat happened.....i dun 1 2 take sides.....they never said anything until last thu.....

mayb i never really bothered abt knowing anything.....i was kind o disturbed when i asked my nephew if he heard them quarreling b4.....apparently they have.....many times i wld say.....he was innocently saying he was playing.....jen said tt a child b4 5 is not suitable 4 couseling cos e behavior they display is a demonstration o e parents' behaviors.....my nephew is a real terror at home....i'm really at my wits' end when i deal wif him....he's such a mischief.......

i dunno wat 2 say....i dunno how 2 do things.....my mom spoke 2 my sis last nite.....i had 1ed 2 talked 2 her ytd, but she was so calm tt i didn't know how 2 approach e matter.....my mom brought up e issue.....i dunno wat 2 say.....i juz felt like crying.....she was crying.....my mom did say some really strong pts but it was probably 2 edged.....i didn't know how 2 intervene......i tot my mom was wrong in sme....i didn't know wat 2 say.....conflicts inside......

my bro-in-law called & told me a lot o things....i dunno if they r e truth or not......it let me c things in a much more different light......i hope my sis was really ok......but seem like not e case.....i've convinced him 2 go 4 counseling.....i've 2 talked 2 my sis 2 ask her 2 go 4 counseling 2....

my colic called....gave me sme advise......tt i shld let them know tt e ultimate issue shld b 4 both o them 2 sort out.....i shldn't b burden wif it.....i know....i shldn't b siding any1 but must make sure tt when i talk 2 my sis, 've 2 know tt i care & tt i'm taking her side.....i know.....

i 1 2 take my niece 2 class.....i 1 2 have a chance 2 talk 2 her.....i tink i can find out more things fr her...(btw, she's far 2 young 2 appreciate ur play......break a leg.....)....

i dunno if he strayed or not.....he said there was no physical thing gg on.....

man's biology is built such tt they wld try 2 propagate themselves....tt's y they can never stick 2 1 mate....plus man r living longer than they used 2 so sticking 2 1 mate is all e more impossible.....my mom said tt as a wife u shld open 1 eye close 1 eye.....juz know it in ur heart & dun bother abt so much things......i doubt i can do tt.....i dun tink woman shld do tt......

i've no idea wat 2 say......how.......ok juz tell her tt i told him not 2 come bk......tell her tt i 1 her 2 go 4 couseling.....tell her tt things r not as bad as it seem.....tt i tink it's best tt things b trashed out.....tt i tink they wld start arguing if they do it thmeselves....tt i tink professional help wld b best.....tt she shld not do anything now.....juz let me arrange e appt.....i'll bring them down 4 e counseling......i hope i can do it......ask her not 2 keep things 2 herself......tell her tt no matter wat we r behind her.....tell her tt she dun have 2 face e thing alone......tell her 2 tell us anything.....

tired.....

i'm tired.....sorry ultra, can't go 4 e open water......i dun even have any idea how 2 solve e problem.....

i wasn't prepared at all ytd....but i tink i did e rite thing.....i wasn't trained at all in counseling.....but i took control o e situation.....now i'm caught in e middle....how shld i proceed....i've no idea.......

haizzzz.....i tink tmr i'll need 2 sit down wif my niece 2 c how she is......

children r e most innocent.....

pls pls pls let everything b ok.......

irrational fears....

it creeps up everytime.....i tink abt e worst scenerios.....making myself scared shitless....i try 2 battle them....most o e time i win....i wld finish e task....but e next time i'm confronted wif e same situation, i get bk 2 tinking abt e worst again....i've conquered it e 1st time but i always get scared when i'm faced wif e same situation.....

i tink smehow e fear gets lodged in e sub-conscious & it never ever goes away....or in short, i'm juz chicken....

cycling....it's not tt scary....i completed e pegarang trip...but i've limited confidence on my cycling skills...

swimming....it's scary....i completed e biathlon....but i wld hesitate if i'm gg 4 another race.....

skydiving.....exhilarating...i went 4 it last feb....if it's tandem i dun mind doing it again...but if i'm doing it on my own, i doubt my ability....

travelling alone....it's not tt fun....i shld juz relax myself but i dunno when it's alrite 2 relax & when i left my guard down 2 much....was apprehensive but learnt alot.....i tink i wld b able 2 travel alone next time.....

diving....i'm scared....e 1st time i went 4 e pool session ytd....i totally freaked.....i 4got wat i was supposed 2 do.....everything seem alien smehow....i 4got 2 breathe....i dunno wat i'm doing....but i calmed myself after a while....but my heart's pumping faster as i tink abt e episode......2nite's e 2nd pool session, then e wkends i'm gg 4 e open-water......i'm scared really......but i 1 2 do it......

since i 1 2 do it i shldn't b scared.....but i m.....i 1 2 do a lot o things but i'm scared but i did them anywayzz.....irrational fears.....i'm juz so chicken.....

i shld rest more....

i've been sick 4 e longest time....b4 e CNY until now.....it came & went a few times but never really recovered properly....i'm gg diving soon....& i'm really worried tt i can't dive cos o my sickness.....so after taking my cough medication, i'm drowsy & i tink i beta hint my mom's advice 2 rest... at least 4 2nite....tmr's e pool session...excited....'ve oredi taken half day off each 4 e pool sessions & e open water......dun 1 2 rush so much....excited....

i rested on sat e whole day, 4going a dragonboat trg, but i went 2 e nus biathlon on sun & got myself all burnt like a cooked lobster.....

ok i'll take a rest 2nite & hopefully i'll b alrite tmr....

pls i 1 2 go dive....

ST Feb 20, 2005

The price of love
LOVE cost about $50 last Monday. On Valentine's Day, that was the minimum price of six stems of flowers. Apparently, though, they are not enough to earn the love of many working women these days. That is because Valentine's Day has become something of a competitive sport as women compare the prices and sizes of bouquets of roses, tulips or lilies. The sport benefits those in the business of romance, of course. Prices get doubled on Valentine's Day. So great is the pressure to be feted that, at one end of the romantic spectrum, single and unattached women end up sending themselves flowers. At the other end, when a woman calls a florist about the value of bouquets, it often means she has received flowers from different men. She obviously wants to know who has spent how much on her.

Now, there is no reason why the cost of loving should not keep pace with the cost of living. And why should roses be any different from the jewellery and creature comforts by which some women judge the worth of eligible men? In any case, it is difficult to see how Valentine's Day can escape the logic of commercialisation that has invaded festivals both religious and secular around the world. However, something rankles when a price war over love breaks out on a day meant to commemorate a person, probably a Roman priest, who was put to death in AD269 for marrying young couples. Marriage, it was thought then, made young men weak soldiers. Romance today, it seems, remains a battleground, with the price of roses on the market outweighing the intrinsic qualities of the hands presenting them. All is fair in love and war, but what would valiant Valentine have said to his memory being consigned to a market in love?

ST Feb 19, 2005

Never Neverland
Boys will be boys, but Peter Pan should remain the stuff of fairy tales, not reality
By Ong Soh Chin

THE story of Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie's famous character, continues to fascinate many children today with its heady promise of eternal youth.

I suspect Barrie's story has an especial impact on young boys because the main girl in it, Wendy, is pretty much a grown-up with her practicality and the way she takes care of her younger brothers.

In contrast, Tinkerbell, the story's other female, is capricious and vindictive, and learns the grown-up lessons of true love and generosity the hard way.

As a young girl, the message I subconsciously imbibed from it was this: Girls are nurturing and responsible. Boys will always be boys.

Fast forward a couple of decades and I see this mentality still persists, not only within me but also around me. (What woman hasn't fallen for a man's boyish charms only to realise that she is doomed forever to playing nursemaid?)

My love affair with Peter Pan was rejuvenated recently when I caught the Oscar-nominated movie Finding Neverland.

Starring Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet, it tells the story of Barrie's real life friendship with a woman, Sylvia Llewelyn Davies, and her four sons, which eventually inspired him to write his famous fairy tale.

All in, it is a magnificent movie that reminds one of the forgotten child inside us and how, even in adversity, one can find solace in one's dreams and imagination.

Finding Neverland also jolted my memory of another excellent movie I had caught a few months earlier. This was a little-seen retelling of Peter Pan, starring a cast of relative unknowns and directed by P.J. Hogan, who did Muriel's Wedding.

It brought a lump to my throat the way Barrie's story never did when I read it or saw the Disney version on the big screen as a child.

Watching it now drove home the realisation that Peter Pan probably has more resonance for adults than for kids, despite it being generally regarded as a children's tale.

Kids are kids. They have no idea what adulthood will hold for them. And in that innocence, there is some measure of bliss.

For adults who have been there, done that and know they can never go back again, Peter Pan takes them back to a Lost (Boys) paradise that can never be regained.

Surveying Peter Pan's world as an adult also has deeper and more disturbing implications. While a child's universe is necessarily black and white, an adult's is far from being so.

The movie Finding Neverland has an important and uplifting message. But what it glosses over is also important.

Never mind the fact that Sylvia is a widow in the movie when, in real life, her husband Arthur was still alive when Barrie befriended the family.

More importantly, what the movie ignores is the fact that Barrie was a controversial character whose friendship with young boys was questioned.

The movie also sidesteps the eventual tragedy of most of Llewelyn Davies' sons.

Of the five boys - only four of whom were featured in the movie - one died in World War I, another drowned himself in an apparent gay suicide pact and Peter, the boy who inspired

Barrie's famous character, eventually killed himself.

He had apparently been depressed at being cut out of Barrie's will.

But real life aside, the Peter Pan story in itself is really all about darkness masquerading as light.
British theatre critic Lyn Gardner called it one of the most 'darkly disturbing' plays ever written. She said: 'It is the story of a strange, dysfunctional boy who refuses to grow up, who hangs around a nursery window and lures its children away.

'There is no evidence that J.M. Barrie ever acted on any of his impulses and most contemporary reports describe him as distinctly asexual, but his predilection for hanging around Kensington

Gardens making friends with small children would today set alarm bells ringing and send social workers running to take protective action.'

Perhaps it is no surprise then that one of Peter Pan's biggest fans is Michael Jackson.

The pop superstar, once on top of his game and loved by millions, is now mired, for the second time, in a legal battle to clear his name of child molestation accusations.

Even if he manages to do so successfully, will the real world still be able to embrace the idea of a man who refuses to grow up, sharing his Neverland ranch and having sleepovers with kids?

It is the stuff of fairy tales.

But sadly, as most adults know, fairy tales remain only in a child's dream world.

As seductive as the world of dreams and imagination may be, losing one's grip on reality can only lead to disaster and tragedy.

Send your comments to stlife@sph.com.sg

ST Feb 19, 2005

Want longer life for wife?
Let her argue with you

LONDON - A WOMAN who keeps quiet during an argument with her husband is four times more likely to die from heart disease and other causes, according to a study published in the American Heart Association (AHA) journal.

Researchers believe women who argue with their husbands are warding off heart disease and other causes of death.

And women whose work had a disruptive effect on their home lives were twice as likely to develop heart disease.

The researchers studied 3,700 people in Framingham, Massachusetts, over a 10-year period, the BBC reported.

The joint Boston University and Wisconsin-based Eaker Epidemiology Enterprises team also found that marriage suited men as husbands only had half the chance of dying from heart disease as unmarried men.

Lead researcher Elaine Eaker said doctors should be looking for signs of marital stress to refer patients for counselling.

'We believe we have found characteristics of marriages that have an impact on people's health and longevity.

'While medical care providers are not specifically trained to intervene on psychosocial issues such as marital characteristics, they may be the most likely contact to observe or uncover these characteristics or emotions.'

A second study of 35,000 women by the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta looked at the link between cardiovascular disease and work.

It found unemployed women looking for work reported the worst physical health, with nearly a third having high blood pressure and 6 per cent suffering a heart attack, stroke or chest pain.

At least one British doctor has disputed the research published in the AHA, saying it should be treated with a 'pinch of salt'.

'We need to remind ourselves that we self-select into certain groups. People who choose to get married have different characteristics from those who do not. So they may be more or less at risk of developing health problems.

'We cannot be sure that the research is comparing 'like with like', ' said Sir Alexander Macara, of the National Heart Forum.

TKD grp pic

virtual GID....

ok e whole thing i blogged ytd went missing.....shoot.....

wat exactly did i write????

GID topic 2: bears & flowers.....

totally not necessary 4 me at least.....but once in a blue moon surprise wld b great....but exorbitant prices during V day is really not worthed it.....a nite out star-gazing, walking along e beach, or reading a nice book wld b more welcomed than a teddy....& i doubt i've any space in my bedroom 2 store these things cos i share wif e room my 3 other sis.....flowers....nice....but they can't keep....but pls dun buy plastic 1s...so i wld say (at least 4 me), women appreciate e tot rather than e $$$, although i shld state tt we do appreciate guys who can splurge on us ever so often....

GID topic 1: red/white bands.....

responsiblity shld b e word....wearing e band or not is not impt....e most impt is whether u r ready 2 take e responsibility....i agree wif jan tt in e heat o passion who wld remember tt band??? if u remember ur condom tt's more impt!!!!

2 abstain or not really depends on e self....if u 1 ur future significant other 2 b a virgin then u shld jolly well do e same....if u can't then u shldn't implement it on others...

yes, pls do educate pple on e proper use o condoms!!!! not talking abt sex does not mean tt it will not happen.....so i tink it's really time 2 teach more abt sex......knowing abt sex doesn't mean tt pple will do it anyway....2 b beta informed & educated wld go a long way definitely...


ok i beta stop.....haven been reading my articles.....

virtual GID....

tonsils.......

Fr http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/teeth/tonsillitis.html

Way in the back of your throat are your tonsils - one on the right and one on the left. These two balls of tissue are part of your body's infection-fighting system to keep you from getting sick.

But what happens if these infection fighters get infected? Then you have tonsillitis (say: tahn-sul-lye-tus).

What Are Tonsils?
The tonsils' job is to catch germs before they cause infections in the throat, mouth, or sinuses.

Usually, tonsils do their job well. But sometimes bacteria or viruses get into the tonsils. When this happens, you have tonsillitis.

How Can I Tell if I Have Tonsillitis?
If you have tonsillitis, your throat usually hurts and it's hard to eat or drink or even swallow.

You may also have a fever. Here are some other signs that bacteria or a virus is infecting your tonsils:
redder-than-normal tonsils
a yellow or white coating on the tonsils
a funny-sounding voice
swollen glands in the neck
fever
bad breath

What Will the Doctor Do?
The doctor will ask you how you've been feeling and then look at your tonsils. He or she will probably use a wooden stick called a tongue depressor to help hold your tongue down to get a good look at what's going on in there.

The doctor might also look into your nose and ears, listen to your chest, and look for other signs of infection. Both bacteria or a virus can cause tonsillitis. It's important for your doctor to know if it's strep. Strep is short for streptococci (say: strep-toh-kah-kye) bacteria. If you have this kind of infection, you need special treatment.

To check for strep, the doctor will use a long cotton swab to swipe the back of your throat. This test doesn't hurt, but it might make you gag. It's called a throat culture. It usually takes a day or 2 to get the results, but some doctors will do a similar test called a rapid strep test. Within minutes, this test will tell your doctor if there are any strep bacteria in your throat.


How Is Tonsillitis Treated?
If the tonsillitis is caused by strep bacteria, the doctor will prescribe antibiotics, a type of medicine that kills bacteria. It's very important to take the antibiotics exactly as you're supposed to and finish the entire prescription to kill all the bacteria.

If the tonsillitis is caused by a virus, antibiotics won't work and your body will fight off the infection on its own. Sometimes kids get an operation to remove their tonsils, but only if their tonsils get infected a lot during the year or are so big they make it hard for the kid to breathe at night.

If you get tonsillitis, here are some tips that can help you feel better:
Drink plenty of fluids.
Eat smooth foods, including flavored gelatin, soups, icepops, and applesauce.
Avoid hard, crunchy, or spicy foods.
Use a cool-mist vaporizer or humidifier in the room where you spend the most time.
Rest.

Soon your tonsils will be back in action and ready to fight germs again!

must b all e CNY goodies tt i've been devouring lately, making my tonsils act up again.....bad headache ytd....now i juz feel numb in my brain.....i tink it's e medicine 4 e headache tt's making me so numb in e brain.....it's e same feeling when i had sleeping pills....u r awake but ur mind keep asking u 2 shut down.....i hate tis feeling......i'm feeling like i'm standing at a distance instead o inside my body.....

remnants....

remnants....

yu sheng minus e raw fish...

CNY 2005

ST Feb 15, 2005

Lessons in love on US campuses
Marriage-minded students flock to courses on relationship skills

MUNCIE (INDIANA) - MR SCOTT Hall wants to spark a discussion, so he asks his students something bound to provoke a reaction: Do women want more out of marriage than men?

It is just the sort of conversation starter that is heard more often in university classrooms in the United States these days.

Affairs of the heart - love, relationships and marriage - have gone from being an obsession outside class to the reason for class.

The students in Mr Hall's course on marriage at Ball State University laugh and nod at his question. Most of them agree with research he cites stating that men are most interested in a partner who's attractive and good in bed.

But not Mr Mike Toscano, a 21-year-old: 'It's not 'Oh she looks cute and she cooked a pot pie'. I want to be held once in a while, too, y'all.'

'I'm glad he feels that way,' Ms Anitra Montgomery, a 22-year-old, responds to the class. 'But he is rare!'

Over the past 30 years, academics have been developing the study of 'close relationships', as they call it, forming the International Association for Relationship Research to share resources and data.

Such research is 'not just about what makes people happy but how relationships can affect other things - for instance, someone's health', says assistant professor Lisa Baker, who teaches psychology at Purchase College, part of the State University of New York.

In recent years, though, some professors have moved beyond theory, making the discussion more personal to students by teaching relationship skills they can use outside the classroom.

Some call it Relationships 101 - a concept that has proven wildly popular on campuses across the country.

Mr Toscano says he and his girlfriend Bethany Ringrose decided to take the class together this term to see if they want to take their relationship to the next level.

'It helps me understand my actions and his, too,' says Ms Ringrose, 20, a junior at the school in central Indiana. With divorce as common as it is in the US - about half of married couples divorce - experts say young couples are wise to do their marriage homework.

'The thinking is, the earlier people learn those skills, the better off they'll be,' says psychology professor Dennis Lowe at Pepperdine University in Malibu, California, who team-teaches a freshman seminar called Developing Healthy Relationships with his wife Emily Scott-Lowe.

Students in their classes practise listening - namely giving the other person a chance to speak his or her mind without interruption.

And if students are considering long-term, committed relationships, they are asked to consider questions such as whose job it would be to buy a car, discipline a child or cook dinner.

Professor Leslie Parrott of Seattle Pacific University says surveys at her university and others regularly show that relationships are a priority for students.

'They're often more focused on relationship quality than their careers,' says Prof Parrott, a marriage and family therapist who teaches relationships courses with her husband Les.

Lecture topics include Falling In Love Without Losing Your Mind and How To Break Up Without Falling Apart.

'Breaking up is a real rite of passage for people their age - they're just dying and they have no real guidance,' says Prof Parrott.

She says that some academics question whether classes like these belong in a college setting. But others say there is no reason love should be ignored.

'The longer I live, the more I realise that the hardest thing is just relationships,' says assistant professor Robert Brancatelli, who teaches religion at Santa Clara University in California. 'It's hard enough to figure out yourself, let alone another person.' -- ASSOCIATED PRESS

ST Feb 15, 2005

Personalities the key to good marriage

WASHINGTON - SHARED moral values are less important than compatible personalities as a recipe for a good marriage, according to a study just released.

Married couples often share the same attitudes about faith and other values, researchers at the University of Iowa found. But those with personalities similar to their spouses were the happiest.

'People may be attracted to those who have similar attitudes, values and beliefs and even marry them,' the researchers said on Sunday, and those qualities are easy to spot in a potential mate.

Attitudes towards subjects such as religion or politics 'are highly visible', they said.

But how married people behave was shown to have a greater effect on happiness.

'Being in a committed relationship entails regular interaction and requires extensive coordination in dealing with tasks, issues and problems of daily living,' the study found.

Differences in how to deal with everyday matters can lead to 'more friction and conflict', it said.

Personality-driven traits - like being open, easy-going or organised - are likely to play a bigger role in the marriage, the researchers found after studying 291 newly married couples.

The couples were married for an average of five months when the data was culled late in 2000 and had dated for an average of 3 1/2 years.

The couples were participants in the Iowa Marital Assessment Project, a long-term study being conducted by the university with funding from the National Institute of Mental Health under the National Institutes of Health.

Participants were asked to evaluate their own traits and were videotaped interacting with each other.

Partners who rated their marriages as highly satisfactory were found to have more common personality traits.

Similar attitudes among the couples, however, showed no clear impact on happiness, according to the study published in the American Psychological Association's Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. -- REUTERS

ST Feb 15, 2005

Find your 'cereal' mate and check out

SYDNEY - A SHOPPING mall launched a 'cereal dating' night at its supermarket yesterday, telling singles to come and 'get frisky at the fruit counter' for a Valentine's night out.

Management at the upmarket Westfield Bondi Junction shopping centre in Sydney's eastern suburbs suggested singles eager to meet a kindred soul cruise the supermarket aisles with message-sending breakfast cereal boxes perched on their carts.

'Choosing the correct cereal is crucial, with different cereals attracting different mates,' Westfield said.

For 'cereal virgins', it explained that boxes of Fruit Loops signal a 'quirky, outrageous type that lives life on the edge', while carrying All Bran or Mini Wheats attracts 'dependable, regular, conservative types'.

'For those that don't really care - a variety pack will show that the shopper is willing to chat to anyone.' -- AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE

dreams....cranberries...repeat mode...

i listen 2 it on repeat mode last nite....wondering y i like tis song so much....

trying 2 psychoanalysis myself....

trying 2 tink abt when i 1st hear e song....

i juz dun remember....

in sec sch?????

dunno la....juz got hit wif so much emotion cos met a lot pple....making me tink 2 much.....

Today February 14, 2005

Affairs of the mind
Mohd Rosle Ahmad

IS there such a thing as intellectual infidelity?

As my wife and I look forward to our 10th anniversary this year, we thought about our contemporaries — couples who have gone their separate ways.

Four have called it quits while one managed to save and rebuild his marriage after indulging in what I would call intellectual infidelity.

We've heard about emotional infidelity, but intellectual infidelity? I checked the Internet for information but turned up nothing. What on earth is it?

A natural homebody, my friend's simple routine is "home-work-home". Male-bonding sessions are restricted to the hours from 1 to 2pm and he only lunches with his male colleagues. So I was shocked when he called one day to say that his wife wanted him to find another job. She felt that he was getting too close intellectually to a female colleague.

To cut a long story short, both he and the colleague are happily married. They worked on the same team but never went out for coffee together or even talked outside the office.

But the things they talked about often, beyond work-related matters, were politics, economics and religion.

This was one Muslim-Christian dialogue that was leading to a misunderstanding, albeit a marital one.

My friend, who thought nothing of their chats, would simply share details of them with his wife when he returned home.

The last straw came on Valentine's Day last year when the inter-faith exchange strayed into how affairs of the heart were being commercialised to death.

My friend's wife was livid upon hearing that her hubby had shared with the colleague in question their three cardinal "love bytes".

Since the day they were married, they had eternalised these principles of love in a list that was posted on the refrigerator:
1 To remain on the true path of love, let deeds of love guide you at every turn.
2 Without love the verb, love the feeling will wither and disappear.
3 The test of one's love comes in the absence of the loved one.

Declared the wife: "You are dangerously close to the emotional gateway: I think it's best you stop all unofficial discourse — or find another job."

But as fate would have it, his colleague was transferred to another branch.

While some of us will find his wife's reactions absurd, I guess if there is emotional infidelity, there can be an intellectual kind.

The fear is, of course, that either one could lead to the destructive, physical betrayal.

My friend says he now practices intellectual celibacy with all "insignificant others" at the office.

So while he fully engages them in all work-related matters, he reserves all current affairs for the missus.

Happy Valentine's Day.

The writer is a Today reader. If you would like to comment on this writer's views, please send an email to news@newstoday.com.sg

ST Life! Feb 14, 2005

Girl talk
Forget V Day, how about E Day?
I used to yearn for Valentine's Day and grand romantic gestures. Now, I treasure the little things in Every Day that convey love
By Tee Hun Ching

I WAS 18 when I was treated to my first 'proper' Valentine's Day date. You know, the sort that comes with the obligatory car pick-up, the standard floral bouquet and a dinner reservation at a softly-lit restaurant in town.

The stuff that young girls' dream dates are made of, basically.

I forget what I wore or the name of the now-defunct eatery. But I can still recall how the tables, each sporting a flickering candle and a stalk of red rose, were packed so tightly together that we could literally rub shoulders with the couples to our left and right.

We hardly spoke, for fear that our neighbours would snigger at our private jokes.

The food, presumably churned out with assembly line efficiency to feed the amorous throngs,
was cold.

And when the bill came, my NSman date blanched, but swiftly handed over two $50 bills.

'Isn't the set dinner here $20 each?' we whispered, shocked, as his hard-earned pay disappeared with the waiter. The night that started out pregnant with promise fizzled out quickly.

That was my first reality check on the giant commercial conspiracy otherwise known as Valentine's Day, when all things that help to fan the flames of love burn a larger-than-usual hole in your pocket.

That was also the last time I welcomed bouquets and dinner invitations for Feb 14.
It wasn't just the sheer waste of money that pained me. It was also the realisation that the day would never live up to its promise.

By expecting to be swept off your feet on this day of orchestrated love, you would already have eliminated a vital ingredient for romance - spontaneity.

When I was younger, I thought love, or what slippery grasp I had of the concept, was best expressed in grand, showy gestures that told the whole world how desirable I was.

In secondary school, I fantasised about getting V Day song dedications on the radio from secret admirers.

In junior college, I would scan a two-page affair crammed with love messages that the student council culled from love-sick peers, half-hoping to see one dedicated to me.

I imagined my friends teasing me about it as I squirmed outwardly but cheered inwardly - a mental picture that never translated into reality.

The candlelight dinner was as close to a Valentine's Day ego trip as I ever got.

After that fell flat, I sniffed at the crass money-spinner disguised as a rose-covered love fest and began to value intangibles like creativity instead.

An artistic ex left me wordless with a classy black scrapbook he made that showcased evidence of our time together: ticket stubs of the first movie we caught together, a paper napkin speckled with his half-baked love poems scribbled playfully as we killed time in a fast food outlet.

I found it touching that events I dismissed as mundane mattered enough for him to preserve memories of them, simply because I was a part of those moments.

Till today, this remains the best Valentine's Day surprise I ever had.

Now, married and much older, I subscribe to the slogan of the Romancing Singapore campaign first launched in 2003. Love, I realise, really is in the little things, best exemplified in everyday life.

I smile when I see a new toothbrush sitting in the tumbler that used to hold my sad, old one with its cobalt blue bristles faded to the colour of the sky and spread out like a starburst.

If he's sensitive enough to spot such small needs, I figure he will never miss the big ones.

I luxuriate in the unspoken arrangement where I simply sit pretty and wait for my food while he navigates the sweaty crowds whenever we step into a hawker centre.

He never grumbles about how it should be my turn, for he doesn't keep count of who does more.
I'm touched when he makes an effort to dress up for outrageous theme parties thrown by my friends, even though I know he would very much prefer to curl up with a book at home.

I'm grateful when he automatically reaches out to massage the small of my back when I get home after a long day to relieve my chronic back ache.

I'm ashamed when I snap at him, accusing him of 'always doing this' after he forgets to bring in the laundry twice in a row, only to hear him say gently: 'Not always lah.'

Anyone else would have blasted my inability to count, for by what stretch of imagination could 'twice' be equated with 'always'? But he rarely loses his cool and inspires me to follow suit, although I must admit this is an uphill task for me.

I no longer scoff at Valentine's Day, for who says it always has to be celebrated in style?

To those who take their partners for granted, it is a gentle reminder that for once in 365 days, they should snap out of their selfish reverie.

To those who mark each day with their loved ones as Feb 14, this is yet another excuse to count their blessings.

Given the demands of work, the best present my husband and I can give each other these days is time - time to enjoy idle chatter, time to soak in the sea view from our apartment, time to just be alone. We plan to get home before 8pm today, share a takeout dinner in the balcony and maybe take a stroll along the beach if there's time after doing the laundry.

Nothing fanciful, but everything meaningful.

What are your plans for today?

Send your comments to stlife@sph.com.sg

wonder if it's him....ahhahaaa.....

never notice it...it's weird....wat a coincidence....did every1 go 4 tt event???? i dun even remember his name or even recall him at all when i 1st look at e pic.....

hahhahaa....must ask him....so cute!!! so chubby.....hhahahaaa....

ST Feb 14, 2005

GROWING PAINS
Put aside gender circus
Forget about gender stereotypes for now. There's no time like the present when it comes to love By Estelle Chan

TWO of my closest friends recently declared their affection for each other after a friendship that has been two years in the making.

Even though it was an open secret that they'd harboured soft spots for each other for months, it was still a pretty hilarious show when they both started to awkwardly waltz around their new relationship.

Ah, the thrills of new love.

But then, in a matter of weeks, it descended into a struggle of the sexes.

She, whom I shall call Steph, suddenly refused to initiate conversations over the phone, nor would she be the first one to text-message him. This, after months of heart-to-heart phone sessions late into the night.

'I'm the girl! Why should I make the first move?' she would exclaim, to my utter exasperation.

He, Eric, on the other hand, got cold feet. He was doing his national service, and they were both due to study overseas (in different countries), and he declared that a long-distance relationship was unfeasible.

We surmised that, in reality, he thought being tied down at 19 was too much.

So it all seemed to become a circus of gender stereotypes. Girl must always preserve the upper hand of having the opportunity to respond, and boy must keep his options open.

Me, being the irrepressible tier of red strings, constantly urged Steph to keep in touch with him over the phone.

Since I have no qualms about making the first move, I launched into my usual speech when dealing with obdurate females: 'All the feminists who died for you so you could have the chance to vote and ask boys out, and you are squandering it away because of pride?

'Where is your sense of responsibility to make an empowered female out of yourself?' I would say in my most bewildered tone.

Of course, all the card-carrying feminists out there would bristle at my definition of empowerment as having a thick enough skin to ask for dates.

But to me, real life turning into a Beverly Hills 90210 soap opera was intolerable, especially since I had seen every day of the blossoming of their friendship.

You could tell me to let nature take its course, but I suspect that nature in a few years' time would be hectic varsity schedules and high-flying careers with no time for love.

Now is always the best time to choose love, be it that of a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or a parent, over tangible successes that will not be a soothing balm in your most desperate times.

Forget how girls or boys are expected to behave, and just step out with courage to find what you hope to discover.

Heck, today is the best day to do it. I'll be hoping that Steph and Eric will be sending their SMS Valentines soon.

The writer is an intern at The Straits Times

ST Feb 13, 2005

Wear this band, say 'no' to sex before marriage

POLYTECHNIC sweethearts James Chen and Joanne Lim, both 24, have been together for seven years, but do not plan to have sex until they get married.

Yesterday, they were among thousands of people who bought wristbands from pro-family lobby group Focus On The Family (FOTF), a Christian charity organisation.

The group, with the help of 200 volunteers from schools and youth organisations, was selling the rubber wristbands - at $2 each - outside Orchard MRT station and Tangs department store yesterday to mark Abstinence Awareness Day tomorrow.

The bands, in red to signify true love or white for purity, bear the words 'Worth Waiting For', and are similar to the hip yellow Live Strong wristbands that American cyclist Lance Armstrong's foundation sells to raise funds for cancer research.

Some 4,500 bands were sold yesterday, with the proceeds going to the group's activities such as the No Apologies workshops, which try to convince youths aged 12 to 19 to remain virgins.

So far, 14,000 people have attended the workshops, and 80 per cent of them have signed the pledge to remain chaste until marriage.

FOTF's vice-president for programmes, Ms Joanna Koh-Hoe, told The Sunday Times: 'The sale is not about getting young people to pledge themselves, but we hope it will raise awareness about abstaining from all forms of sexual acts before they get married, and that it is cool to save themselves for their one true love.'

For Mr Chen, an air force regular, and Ms Lim, a software developer, the fear of an unplanned pregnancy and their conservative upbringing stopped them from succumbing to temptation.

He said: 'We don't want to get married just because a baby is on the way. We want to be emotionally and financially ready when it happens.'

The couple plans to tie the knot this year.

Another one who bought a purity wrist band was pharmacist Angeline Rama, 26. She is planning to give it to her 15-year-old cousin, who has just started dating.

She said she got married at the age of 19 because she became pregnant.

'I hope he will not end up like me,' she said. 'I wasn't prepared for the pregnancy and committing to marriage. That's partly why my marriage is now on the rocks.'

Yishun Junior College student R. Dhurga Devi, 18, who has no boyfriend, said: 'I want my husband to be pure and true to me, so I start with myself, by not doing it before marriage.'

But others, like student Zoexil Low, were less sure.

The 17-year-old, who said he is a virgin and has no girlfriend, feels that pre-marital sex is okay and it is not realistic to expect youngsters to refrain from it.

He said: 'What's stopping me is that I'm not ready to take responsibility if the girl gets pregnant.' -- Sarah Ng

dreams by e cranberries

i tot i posted tis song up b4 but juz can't find it in my blog....so i'm posting it again.....my all time fav.....it's now part o a commercial....my niece loves tis song 2! she even knows how 2 sing it!!!! i've been playing it on repeat mode 4 so many times but i juz dun get tired o tis song....btw any1 know e chinese version??? it's sung by faye wong....any1 know e title????

"Dreams"

Oh, my life is changing everyday,

In every possible way.
And oh, my dreams, it's never quiet as it seems,
Never quiet as it seems.

I know I've felt like this before, but now I'm feeling it even more,
Because it came from you.
And then I open up and see the person falling here is me,
A different way to be.

Ah, la da ah...
La...

I want more imposible to ignore,
Imposible to ignore.
And they'll come true, impossible not to do,
Impossible not to do.

And now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don't hurt me.
You're what I couldn't find.
A totally amazing mind, so understanding and so kind;
You're everything to me.

Oh, my life,
Is changing every day,
In every possible way.

And oh, my dreams,
It's never quiet as it seems,
'Cause you're a dream to me,
Dream to me.
Ah, da, da da da, da, la...


love tis song.....

is there a contradiction????

when u 1 2 know more does it mean u r not zhi(1) zu(2)??? i try 2 b zhi zu but i 1 more....

"i dun mind standing everyday....out on e corner in e pouring rain....look 4 e girl wif e broken smile....ask her if she 1s 2 stay awhile...."

i dun mind waiting 4 e rite things 2 come along.....but smetimes when u know things r not working ur way or tt things have bec stagnant....shld u std there & wait or shld u do smething??? wat is 2 b zhi zu really???? m i becoming zhi zu by waiting or m i becoming stagnant???? i dunno....

i've returned 2 my un-tinking self again....& i hate tis me.....i dunno.....everytime i tink i grew up a little, i fall bk again....i dunno really.....

i 1 2 work towards a dream but i dunno e dream tt i'm pursuing.....i dunno wat i'm achieving.....do we have 2 recce our own way wherever we go???? i dunno.....i get tired so fast....i've been 2 dependent.....now i can't std on my own feet....

was at my gu(1) po(2)'s place on chu(1) er(4).....i tink she has schizophrenia....i saw her daughter....i tink she has sme mental prob also....i tag along every CNY cos my parents wld go wif me 2 my god-dad''s place which was juz rd e corner b4 we come 2 gu po's.....almost every yr i visit, she was alone at home.....she coughs...& breathes ever so laboriously.....her fake teeth keep falling....which makes her speech quite inaudible.....occasionally she drifts off.....then starts talking 2 "sme1" beside her....my mom's always spook by tis....but i find it rather interesting & wld look & look.....smetimes i really wonder wat she does....wat she's tinking......really makes me wonder.....

tis yr i saw her daughter.....i really felt bad....every yr my dad wld stuff an ang bao 2 gu po.....buy all those tonic stuff.....if my dad didn't visit, gu po wld call!!! she can do normal household chores....but she needs medication 2 stop her hallucination (tis i presume cos dad always ask if e doc gave her medication, if she took her medication etc...)......her daughter was also taking medication.....fr wat i learnt fr my mom, she (i tink i shld address her as biao(3) gu(1)) was ok when she was young (she didn't attend sch at all)....she had kids, i tink 2 daughters & 1 son...e 1st was married, e 2nd earned her way 2 uni & now working, e youngest son juz finished ns shld b working also.....her husband did not allow her 2 stay wif him....i dunno if they divorced but he has another woman who gave him 2 sons.....apparently, he threatened 2 commit suicide once when she refused 2 give him $$$....fr then onwards, her mental state deteriorated....i dunno wat happened...but seeing her...i really wondered if she's happy....she seem 2 b.....she seem not 2 know abt a lot o things.....she recountered her stuff 2 us w/o any angst.....she was still smiling at us as she told us bits & pieces....she difted off smetimes.....finding it hard 2 say sme words or put ideas into words.....leaving my mum trying ever so hard 2 find words 2 fit into her speech.....

i was really sad when i left.....there were 2 other sons living in tt 3 room flat....1, was a widower, his wife commit suicide last yr....i blogged abt it.....she heard things & was i tink mentally stressed...she jumped in e early morning.....he only knew abt her death late at nite......he is presumbably e only soundminded in tt household....e other son, i tink e youngest, was also mentally unsound...he was on medication....i tink he was locked up in imh 4 smetime.....my biao gu even tried 2 matchmake me wif tis younger bro o hers upon knowing tt i was single....my mum was horrified!!! kept saying tt we had blood-relations cannot get married...hhahhaaaa....

it juz seem so sad....every yr i visit gu po......i feel sad.....every yr w/o fail i tink abt it....i always tink tt i shld do smething but i didn't.....i dunno how i can help actually.....maybe fr a stranger's perspective it wld b easier 2 help.....i dunno......it's always hard 2 imagine tt sme1 u r related 2 is in such difficult position.....

2nd time tis yr tt i'm crying.......crying badly......maybe they dun feel tt miserable....they live in a world o their own.....they dunno e reality.....or maybe they live in their own reality.....it's really hard.......

i dunno whether it was a coincidence or wat...during CNY's eve, i boarded e train 2 go meet my friends 4 a swim b4 heading home 4 reunion dinner....i sat beside a caucasian lady....e 1st thing she said was commenting tt i had a beautiful henna on my hand.....

we started chatting...she was sister weldone, fr USA, she was on a missionary trip here in s'pore...we talked abt religion naturally.....she showed me e book o mormom....another testament o jesus.....at e very outstart i told her tt i believe tt there is a supreme being.....tt i believe tt all e religion all teach 1 thing, 2 b good....tt i respect all (almost all) religion....tt i believe in myself.....tt i believe in things i 1 2 believe in only......she agreed....she read a few verses fr e book...telling me tt there is a supreme being & tt different culture choose 2 call it different names....we talked abt religion more then she left me her card.....i appreciated her time in sharing.....i may go look 4 her smeday.....2 make me get in touch wif my spiritual side......my sisters were more dead set agst christianity.....they detest it i may use e word......i dun really believe in e gods tt we pray but as a tradition during CNY, my parents pray & we had 2 light e joss sticks....e only thing i believe in when i pray 2 them is tt they'll bring gd 2 my family & my friend & 2 any1 i know.....

i hope tt all e gods no matter which culture or religion they belong 2, will pls bring gd 2 my gu po....2 my family....2 my friends....2 any1 tt i know....even if it means tt they need 2 take away things fr me....seriously i dun mind....but dun take away my family.....take away my fortune, take away my health, take away my happiness...anything.....cos w/o my family & friends i doubt i'll b wat i m2day....i pray.......wif my heart & soul tt pls let peace b wif every1.....even if it's 4 juz 1 moment.....

all e happenings in e past day really got me tinking.....i was so happy at little little things...so sad at little little things....but i'm so tired now......i 1 2 tink more but i dun 1 2 at e same time....i've problem being insomniac.....it's gd actually.....i hope i dun ever have insomnia.....pls.....

4 e silliest reason, u'll get upset or happy.....wat's happening?????/

CNY...e usu qn....same as KJ...tis was wat i wrote in his comments...

i wish i can use ur technique above....luckily i've my elder sis 2 shield me...hahhaaa...but tis yr smehow all my cousins lugged along their significant other along....which inevidently make my single status more prominent....my younger cousin was giving out ang baos....all my relatives were jokingly saying tt next yr we need 2 have an online site where those bring extra pple need 2 register else no ang bao!!! hahhaaaa really more & more pple....happy....:) but do stop asking e same qn every yr....& my relatives were asking if i'll bring an ang mao next time...ok i'll try...hheheee


i knew he wasn't gg 2 come but he said he wld try....i'm happy juz 4 tt sentence....

ST Feb 8, 2005
Strong family ties matter, says PM Lee

AS FAMILIES get together this evening for the traditional Chinese New Year reunion dinner, Mr Lee Hsien Loong has underscored the importance that families continue to play in Singapore.

In his first Chinese New Year message as Prime Minister, he recognised that changing social norms and globalisation increased the pressure on the role families played - and gave the assurance the Government would be there to help.

But he said that the measures which the Government takes 'can only complement the family's traditional role, and not supplant it'.

'To be a resilient society, we need strong and close families. Ultimately, helping out relatives who are in need, and bringing up children into upright, productive adults, are acts motivated by kinship bonds and emotional ties.'

Families have always had a central role in Asian societies, he said.

When the tsunami disaster struck, for instance, survivors turned instinctively to their extended families for food, shelter and comfort.

Families also provide encouragement and support to couples to produce and bring up the next generation, passing on values and attitudes that stay with the young for life.

'However, our social norms are shifting,' he said, noting that new couples juggled their time between work, family and leisure.

'Globalisation is creating new opportunities and prosperity, but at the same time, it is generating new pressures on individuals and families. This is increasing the pressure on the traditional roles of the family,' he added.

Extended families have given way to nuclear families. So when someone falls ill or loses his job, he cannot always depend on the extended family to help him through.

Competing demands also meant that couples delayed marriage, settled for fewer children, or had none at all.

'In these changing circumstances, the Government is strengthening social safety nets to help families protect the vulnerable, and encouraging couples to have more children to live balanced, fulfilling lives,' he said.

It was a reiteration of a pledge made in Parliament last month that the Government would offer lifelines of aid for the old, poor and jobless.

This included the revamping of the medical insurance plan MediShield, and building up Medifund, which pays medical bills of the poor, from $1 billion to $2 billion.
ComCare, a $500 million endowment fund that will be built up to $1 billion, supports programmes that help families get back on their feet.

Government policies also aim to make Singapore 'a great place for families,' said Mr Lee, a father of four. Procreation policies introduced last year are showing some encouraging signs. He said: 'It is too early to assess results, but I have met many couples carrying young babies, who tell me happily that they are collecting the Baby Bonus.

'And hospitals have reported that this year there are more pregnancy consultations, and many applications to use Medisave for antenatal packages.'

Mr Lee said Chinese New Year is a good time 'to remind ourselves that the traditional role of the family remains relevant in our modern society'.

The Year of the Monkey which ends today was a good year for Singapore with strong growth, lower unemployment and returning confidence and optimism. 'As families gather for reunion dinners, as young people visit their elders to pay respects, and as we welcome the Year of the

Rooster amidst firecrackers and lion dances, let us keep these traditions alive and look forward to a good year ahead,' he said.

'I wish all Singaporeans a prosperous Chinese New Year.'


i do agree wif e pink words tt having children do indeed make ur life more fulfilling.....was chatting wif my sis last nite....she was asking me if i wld encourage my husband(-to-be) to donate his sperms....i wld only if e sperms r used 4 research purpose, not as smebody else's procreation needs.....4 1 thing i do not 1 my kids 2 bump into 1 o their siblings outside w/o knowing!!!! but tt's not my main concern....cos i feel tt there r so many children out there w/o a home, w/o a family.....it'll b more worthwhile 2 adopt these kids, then 2 spend a ton o $$$ doing artificial insemination......if u truly love kids, it wldn't matter if they r ur own or not....

if i can afford it, i wld 1 2 adopt a kid.....

swing said smething e other time tt made me changed my view abt having children....i told her tt i wasn't ready 2 have kids cos i really dunno how 2 teach or raise 1.....then she said tt her parents r still learning 2 b parents up until now....it suddenly dawn on me tt e most important thing is 2 really have love 4 e kid, & 2 have e responsibilities.....teaching him/her rite or wrong isn't tt impt....there is no perfect parent....

hopefully i can b a gd enough parent smeday.....not in e near future though....i'm scared o e responsibilities....but if i do find sme1 who share e same idea o being a parent, it may not b tt far away.......tmr's e new year.....hope every wish will come true.....4 every1....

i wonder if he knows....if he ever will....

she will be loved...maroon 5

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rainoh
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

And She will be loved
And She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

She will be loved (repeated)

Please don't try so hard to say good bye.


love them.....love tis song....a lot....my fav song 4 a long long time...since it came out.....

ST Feb 6, 2005
Nine Japanese die in latest charcoal-burner group suicides

TOKYO - NINE people were found dead in two cars outside Tokyo yesterday in what were believed to be the latest in a series of suicide pacts involving charcoal burners in the country.

Six people - three men and two women, mostly in their 20s, and one 40-year-old woman - were found in the morning in a rented minivan, police said.

The vehicle was parked along a farm road on the scenic peninsula of Miura at the mouth of Tokyo Bay.

Hours later, the bodies of one man and two women, in their 30s and 40s, were found in a rented sedan on the grounds of an empty villa in Higashi Izu, some 100km south-west of Tokyo.

It was not immediately clear if the two cases were related. The vehicles were about 100km apart.

Police found several charcoal burners inside the two vehicles.

There has been a spate of group suicides using traditional terracotta charcoal burners in Japan.

Many of the suicides involved strangers who met over the Internet and agreed to die together.

The charcoal burner is rarely used in Japan except at traditional-style Japanese or Korean restaurants.

Nearly 50 people have died in similar suicides since early October last year. -- AFP

haizz......ending ur lives.....have life become so unbearable???? when do u decide u 1 2 die????have u ever considered how lucky u r 2 b alive???? how many r struggle 2 b alive.....how do i tell u tt life can b wonderful???? when u hit a rough spot, can u see beyond tt.....tt there is a paradise smewhere....a paradise where u r still living in.....a paradise where many hope 4 but never got a chance 2......it's tough 2 b down....who doesn't hit a rough time.......

ST Feb 5, 2005

SLAIN TWINS
Dad pleads guilty, gets 8 years and cane Murder charge reduced, judge gives 'compassionate' sentence
By Elena Chong
THE father accused of killing his month-old twin babies yesterday pleaded guilty to reduced charges of culpable homicide not amounting to murder.

The 27-year-old unemployed man, originally accused of murder, was sentenced to eight years' jail and six strokes of the cane after he admitted hitting the babies on the head with an ashtray on Jan 21 last year.

His change of plea came after a 12-day trial, half of which was spent on a trial-within-a-trial to determine if several of his statements to the police were voluntary.

After it was ruled that they were, his lawyers, Mr R.S. Bajwa and Mr Mahmood Gaznavi, had the case adjourned till yesterday to make representations.

Having considered those representations, Deputy Public Prosecutor Ng Cheng Thiam told the court the prosecution had decided to proceed on reduced charges on 'compassionate grounds'.

DPP Chong Li Min said that while the accused was alone in a room with his twins, he grabbed a helmet-shaped ashtray from a table and hit the younger baby on the head after turning him face down. He then went to the other side of the bed and hit the other twin on the head.

Later, his mother came to the flat with some letters.

After reading a letter about the baby bonus, his wife said she wanted the baby bonus money to be credited to her father's account. The accused did not reply, but returned to the bedroom and later came out carrying the younger twin, who was crying, and handed the child to his mother.

The woman said her grandson was cold, and his head swollen and soft.

The accused's wife then went to the room and found the other baby lying motionless on the bed with his head tilted to the left.

Later that afternoon, paramedics pronounced the babies dead from severe head injuries.

Describing it as a very tragic case, Mr Bajwa said his client loved the babies very much and often got up in the early hours to feed and comfort them.

The lawyer said his client had committed the crime on the spur of the moment, having been disturbed at the recollection of 'not very nice' things his aunts had said about him.

The accused's 25-year-old wife - who was with her son and other family members in court - had forgiven and still loved him despite what had happened, the lawyer said. The family cannot be named in order to protect the other child, who will be three this year.

Mr Bajwa said his client even 'patted' his twins to sleep after hitting them, thinking nothing serious had happened.

In passing sentence, Justice Tay Yong Kwang said: 'You know what you have done. It is not an easy case for me to sentence.'

He told the accused - who appeared impassive - that 'by a measure of compassion' for him, he would make the sentence of eight years and three strokes on each charge concurrent, not consecutive. He also backdated the sentence to Jan 28 last year .

The maximum penalty for culpable homicide not amounting to murder is life imprisonment or a jail term of up to 10 years, or a fine and caning as well.

ST Feb 5, 2005

CASE OF FATHER BEHEADING TEEN
Man surrenders but girl's head still missing

HONG KONG - A 66-YEAR-OLD man who went missing after allegedly beheading his daughter with an axe following a heated quarrel, surrendered to police yesterday, it was reported.

Li Chi Pang showed up at a police station yesterday morning and was being questioned, according to a police spokesman.

Police said that they were still searching for the 16-year-old girl's head which, some newspaper reports said, had been taken away by the father.

According to Hong Kong newspapers, Li had intended to dismember the body in a bid to destroy evidence.

The girl was naked and had a long and deep cut on her thigh, Ming Pao Daily News reported.

Li also attacked his 20-year-old son with an axe when he returned to the family flat a few hours after the grisly murder of his sister. The attack left the young man with slash wounds to his forehead, the back of his head and his left hand.

The motive for the attacks was still unclear, police said.

According to Ming Pao, the girl's mother, who went to identify the body on Thursday, said that her daughter had a poor relationship with her unemployed father, who was physically abusive.

Mrs Li, dressed in a red jacket and looking calm, told reporters that her husband often beat the girl. Since young, she had frequently been smacked on the head by her father and she grew up hating him, the mother added.

The family lived on the HK$4,000 (S$850) Mrs Li brought home every month as an odd-job worker.

She said though Li was not a compulsive gambler, he often used whatever little spare money there was to bet on horse races and the lottery. But he did not drink and quit smoking a few years back, she said, adding that he would do the housework and cook for the family.

According to some reports, the father often scolded his daughter for being lazy and refusing to look for a job.

He apparently turned violent on Wednesday after his daughter refused to give him money, reports said.

Li reportedly fled with the HK$2,000 to HK$3,000 that he had snatched from his son after attacking him.

The case shocked neighbours in the Shun Lee Estate, who described the family as friendly.

Criminologist Dennis Wong believed the father committed the crime in a fit of anger. He could have resorted to violence because his daughter's hatred for him hurt his pride badly, he said.

'I do not think the murderer is a mental patient. He just did it on impulse.

'He will probably blame himself for the tragedy he created once he calms down.'

ST Feb 5, 2005

Bus passenger saves 5 babies from traffickers
Surprised to see newborns on long trip, woman gets friend to call cops

BEIJING - AN ALERT bus passenger rescued five newborns from baby traffickers by sending SMSes to a colleague, urging him to call the police.

The woman, identified only as Ms Yang, had found it suspicious that a group of fellow passengers had taken along five babies, all looking no older than two months, for the long bus journey.

And coincidentally, all were wrapped in similar blankets.

Thanks to her quick thinking, the bus was stopped by police officers at a toll station along its route, and the five infants - three girls and two boys - were saved from the baby smugglers, the
Beijing Youth Daily reported yesterday.

The bus was travelling from Hohhot, capital of Inner Mongolia, to Linyi city in east China's Shandong province on Wednesday.

The babies' umbilical cords were still attached, which showed that they were less than a week old, the report said.

Around the time that the arrests were made, news broke that the Chinese police had cracked another case of baby trafficking in southern China which involved a 104-member syndicate.

The gang operated out of Putian city in south-east China's Fujian province and had purchased or sold 70 babies in six provinces and neighbouring Myanmar in the past decade, the Beijing News said. Seven of the babies were from Myanmar.

In an indication of how common and organised the black market trade in babies has become, the culprits in this case were mostly village women, including midwives and matchmakers who saw the opportunity to make money and seized it.

Some were in charge of working with hospital staff to purchase unwanted newborns, while others were in charge of transporting and feeding the babies and making contact with cohorts in other provinces.

The women, often working with their relatives and friends, used their connections with government departments to produce fake identification cards for the babies.

Police said the network had sold more than 70 newborns, of whom 44 have now been recovered.

Twenty-nine of them have been matched with their real parents, reported BBC News.

To avoid raising suspicions, breast-feeding women were recruited and the babies were given a little time to become familiar with the women before they were transported on buses.

China's one-child policy, which makes it illegal for couples to have more than one child, has led to the abandonment of female infants. This has resulted in a lopsided ratio of boys to girls that experts predict could, in the decades to come, leave tens of millions of men without wives.

The shortage has prompted some parents to acquire future brides for their sons and infants are cheaper to buy than a teenage bride.

In 2003, police uncovered the country's biggest baby-trafficking case in the southern region of Guangxi, bordering Yunnan, when 28 newborn girls were found in nylon bags on a bus with their arms and legs tied. One of the babies later died.

More than 60 syndicate members, convicted of selling at least 200 babies in the same case, have either been executed or otherwise punished. -- AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE REUTERS

ST Feb 6, 2005

US couple accused of torturing adopted kids

INVERNESS (FLORIDA) - A FUGITIVE couple accused of starving and torturing five adopted children - including pulling out their toenails with pliers - were captured in south-eastern Utah after police tracked them through their cellphones, officials said.

John and Linda Dollar were jailed on Friday in San Juan County, Utah, on Florida warrants of felony aggravated child abuse.

The family included seven adopted children between the ages of 12 and 17. Five of them said they were tortured, subjected to electric shocks and beatings with hammers and had their toenails yanked out with pliers.

The abused five had physical injuries to back up their claims and were severely malnourished.

'They looked like the photos that we've seen of Auschwitz,' said a sheriff's office spokesman, describing 14-year-old twins, one weighing 16kg, the other 17kg - about 35kg below normal.

They told of being forced to sleep in a closet with a chime that sounded if they opened the door because the couple accused them of stealing food and misbehaving.

The other two children were favoured by the Dollars and unhurt. All are in state custody.

John Dollar, 58, is a real estate appraiser and his 51-year-old wife taught the children at home.

Doctors alerted investigators two weeks ago when the couple's 16-year-old boy, who weighed just 27kg, was treated for head and neck injuries. \-- AP

ST Feb 7, 2005
Immunisation key to saving poorest children
By Yoweri Museveni and Jens Stoltenberg

AS NATIONAL leaders - one in Scandinavia, the other in East Africa - we awaken each day to dramatically different realities. Consider, for example that a newborn in Uganda cannot hope to live much beyond the age of 46, compared to a life expectancy in Norway of 79 years.

In Africa, the struggle to survive starts early. For every 1,000 children born, more than 170 die before they turn five, often for want of vaccines that could easily have saved their lives. In contrast, in 2002, Norway lost four children under the age of five per 1,000 born.

There are significant and seemingly intractable economic and environmental reasons for this gap, but there is also great promise. With the proper investments and political will on the part of national and international leaders, immunisation can save the lives of millions of children in the poorest regions of the world. Among the most important and cost-effective public health tools ever invented, vaccines should be seen as a cornerstone of international development.

Yet in 2003, more than 27 million children - most of them among the world's poorest - missed out on key vaccines during their first year of life. It is unacceptable that, also in 2003, almost 1.5 million children died from diseases for which vaccines are available and routinely administered to children in wealthier countries.

Governments of both rich countries and poor have boosted the amount of money they give for vaccines. The United Kingdom, for example, just last week promised as much as US$1.8 billion (S$3 billion) over the next 15 years, if its innovative financing plan is approved and other nations agree to participate. Such generosity must become the norm, as much more support will be required to cover the long-term commitment that vaccine programmes need.

The United Nations Children's Fund (Unicef) and the World Health Organisation (WHO) reported recently that the world is far from meeting the internationally-agreed Millennium Development Goal of reducing childhood mortality by two-thirds by 2015. Given current trends, the UN agencies say that the immunisation coverage rates needed to achieve this goal will not be met until 2037.

A major infusion of resources is required to reverse decades of under-investment in health service delivery systems and to support countries in crisis. The WHO estimates that an additional US$12 billion is needed over the next decade to provide vaccines against yellow fever and hepatitis B, and strengthen routine immunisation coverage in the poorest countries.

We have a proven solution for how such resources can be used efficiently and effectively, as demonstrated by a ground-breaking new global immunisation initiative, the Global Alliance for Vaccines and Immunisation (GAVI).

The GAVI alliance and its financing arm, The Vaccine Fund, bring together under one umbrella a unique group - national governments from industrialised and developing countries, Unicef, the WHO, the World Bank, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, the vaccine industry, public health institutions and NGOs.

Their common goals are to increase access to essential vaccines among children in poor countries, to improve injection safety, and to accelerate the development and introduction of new vaccines for diseases such as rotavirus and pneumococcal pneumonia, which together accounted for more than two million deaths in 2002.

By the end of 2003, GAVI support for immunisation in low-income countries had averted an estimated 670,000 premature deaths among children born from 2001 to 2003. Hepatitis B vaccines are now being funded in 50 of the more than 70 countries that GAVI supports.

Uganda and Norway have played an integral part in GAVI's initial success. Norway, which has already provided more than US$100 million to GAVI, has announced that it will give almostUS$300 million more through 2010 and Uganda has committed its resources to dramatically increasing the immunisation rate among Uganda's children.

The achievements of GAVI and its partners were recognised most recently with last week's announcement of a second US$750-million grant over 10 years from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Nine countries and the European Union have also contributed significant resources to this alliance. However, increased resources and political will are still needed.

What will it take to create a world in which a child's chances of living past the age of five will not depend so strongly on which country he or she calls home? The answer is more money, a commitment on the part of rich countries and poor alike to place vaccines high on their public health agendas, and a proven system, like that of GAVI, for channelling new funds to the people who are most in need.

Yoweri Museveni is President of Uganda and Jens Stoltenberg leads the Norwegian Labour Party and is a former prime minister of Norway. He is also a board member of The Vaccine Fund.

children.....innocence......i followed e 1st story quite closely.....was really wondering who e murder was.....as it turned out, e dad......wat went wrong???? e 2nd 1......so grisly.....3rd 1, pple r selling babies away while others r killing them......haizzzzz in barely 3 days o news, so much things on abuse & neglect o children.....these r only e bare few which i've posted.....haizzzz....wat is tis world coming 2......

i dunno wat u 1 me 2 do.....so stupid.....

i'm so tired.....it's tiring having 2 tink abt wat others r tinking......i dun bother abt wat others r tinking when i talk usually.....cos i juz say wat i 1 2 say.....but it's rather immature & unthoughtful 2 do tt i know....but it's really tiring & it's not me anymore.....it's irresponsible but i dun 1 2 bother so much....i've tried but it's taking a toll......i dun 1 it anymore......it's an art which i dun 1 2 master......

Another personality test.... if u r interested in it, i'll send e file 2 u...juz email 2 me...or leave a comment

You are the fruity fragrance type....

You radiate independence and happiness, always immersed in fun-seeking activities, like an innocent child. You always manage to bring life into the party, thus you are indispensible to parties. Although you are cheerful, well-liked by most, others think that it is difficult to be good friends with you, because the impression that you give is one of a comedian. Some thinks that you like to make a fool of others and are dependent on others, so they are reluctant to be close to you. But, you are actually mature and firm. There are few that truly understands you, leaving you with few bosom buddies.

fr http://www.tigerbeer.us/horoscope/

i'm a sagittarius monkey....


You posess partner- oriented energies, which makes you a highly devoted, charming, and entertaining spouse-once you decide to settle down, that is. Your search for the right person may last for years-but that doesn't mean it'll be unpleasant. You know exactly what you want, and what you don't want, and while you may not find the right person right away, you'll gain something from each and every encounter.

In all matters, you'll show an integrity, dignity, and nobility that will win you admiration and esteem. Your presence commands respect in many circles, and your friends are likely to be a diverse, interesting crew, all of whom you think of as more like family than acquaintances. In relationships, you're on the lookout for someone as partner-oriented and capable of commitment as you are. Direct your energies toward Scorpios, Librans, or sturdy 'Taureans, all of whom share your longing for a long-term situation.

Your gift is your ability to make and keep a promise. Your challenge is to be honest with yourself as well as with your admirers.

2 gd 2 b true......but e last pt abt e challenge 2 b honest wif myself is indeed wat i tink is my greatest fault.....i'll try my utmost 2 b true 2 myself!!!!!

ytd while i was walking along chinatown, i saw quite a few kan xiang de....all e stalls had pple sitting there having their fortune/fate read.....i've never tried it b4....mayb i shld try it sme day....there were all sorts o patterns o kan xiang.....by ur handwriting, by ur birthday, by ur palm etc etc...actually in USA, i did see tt they offer a course in psychology where u specilize in reading handwriting.....it shld b a prettty interesting cos.....actually my hemispherity o face study which i did half-way was also sparked off by e interest in all these kan xiang....

i 1ed 2 do a study while i was in nus abt how e age-old art o kan xiang may actually b more than a hoax....but there being min studies on it, & cos it was juz an undergrad study, my sup didn't tink it was an appropriate topic....

anyway....i really need 2 find time 2 do my things......i dunno y time seem 2 juz fly by......

a quarter o a century old oredi....

Superman by Five for Fighting

Superman by* Five for Fighting

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

I'm more than a bird...
I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see

It may sound absurd...
but don't be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...
but won't you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me

Up, up and away...away from me
It's all right...
You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy...or anything...

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
It's not easy to be me.

every1's trying 2 find tt special thing inside.....trying very hard 2 live up 2 expectations......but smetimes we really need 2 take a step back, take a breather.....even superheroes need a break....