ST Feb 13, 2005

Wear this band, say 'no' to sex before marriage

POLYTECHNIC sweethearts James Chen and Joanne Lim, both 24, have been together for seven years, but do not plan to have sex until they get married.

Yesterday, they were among thousands of people who bought wristbands from pro-family lobby group Focus On The Family (FOTF), a Christian charity organisation.

The group, with the help of 200 volunteers from schools and youth organisations, was selling the rubber wristbands - at $2 each - outside Orchard MRT station and Tangs department store yesterday to mark Abstinence Awareness Day tomorrow.

The bands, in red to signify true love or white for purity, bear the words 'Worth Waiting For', and are similar to the hip yellow Live Strong wristbands that American cyclist Lance Armstrong's foundation sells to raise funds for cancer research.

Some 4,500 bands were sold yesterday, with the proceeds going to the group's activities such as the No Apologies workshops, which try to convince youths aged 12 to 19 to remain virgins.

So far, 14,000 people have attended the workshops, and 80 per cent of them have signed the pledge to remain chaste until marriage.

FOTF's vice-president for programmes, Ms Joanna Koh-Hoe, told The Sunday Times: 'The sale is not about getting young people to pledge themselves, but we hope it will raise awareness about abstaining from all forms of sexual acts before they get married, and that it is cool to save themselves for their one true love.'

For Mr Chen, an air force regular, and Ms Lim, a software developer, the fear of an unplanned pregnancy and their conservative upbringing stopped them from succumbing to temptation.

He said: 'We don't want to get married just because a baby is on the way. We want to be emotionally and financially ready when it happens.'

The couple plans to tie the knot this year.

Another one who bought a purity wrist band was pharmacist Angeline Rama, 26. She is planning to give it to her 15-year-old cousin, who has just started dating.

She said she got married at the age of 19 because she became pregnant.

'I hope he will not end up like me,' she said. 'I wasn't prepared for the pregnancy and committing to marriage. That's partly why my marriage is now on the rocks.'

Yishun Junior College student R. Dhurga Devi, 18, who has no boyfriend, said: 'I want my husband to be pure and true to me, so I start with myself, by not doing it before marriage.'

But others, like student Zoexil Low, were less sure.

The 17-year-old, who said he is a virgin and has no girlfriend, feels that pre-marital sex is okay and it is not realistic to expect youngsters to refrain from it.

He said: 'What's stopping me is that I'm not ready to take responsibility if the girl gets pregnant.' -- Sarah Ng